Jack's Silly Little Friendly Neighborhood Star Trek Discovery Podcast

  Jack has found the Map to a fun and entertaining show, and it points toward a podcast LEGEND: Sean Davis of After the Credits, making his Picard debut.  Like all decent and good-hearted people, Sean loves Jean-Luc Picard.  But how do we feel about Star Trek: Picard, the show, after the initial luster of the first episode?  As they grapple to answer that question, Jack and Sean address the big questions, like the role of A.I., Trek actually presenting both sides of an issue, the commonalities between Borg Cubes and theme park attractions, Romulan culture, secrets within secrets within conspiracies, and most importantly of all, the SHEER. FUCKING. HUBRIS.

PICARD is back, and so is Jack’s Silly, and with Barm, Sam Stovold (Marvel Star Wars Explorers) and Kevin Young (Reopening the Wormhole) here, it is going to get SILLY AF.  So many questions to answer!  Is Picard good? Does Slush-o Cola mean Star Wars and Star Trek are in the same universe?  How does Picard compare to Disco?  Why SHOULDN’T Romulans be Irish?  Are pit bulls inherently dangerous?  What is Chingy’s role in all this?  Why do Romulans live in Borg Cubes?  What is this goddang podcast gonna be like now?  Press play and ENGAGE. 

You’ve read this description of the episode.  And you haven’t.  And you will read it. And you won’t.  This podcast was on the road to PICARD, but we decided to take a U-turn into the mycelial network in Disco Town, by reading DEAD ENDLESS, by Dave Galanter.  As per Hugh-jual, Barm is here, but Sam Stovold (Reopening the Wormhole, Marvel  Star Wars Explorers) has also been kind enough to throw his fungal hat into the mycelial ring to talk about the greatest love story of all time, that of Paul Stamets, Hugh Culber, the Tardigrade, and the Mycelial Network.  The very fungal ties that bind.  And in so doing, we all fall in love, bittersweetly, with a vision of the Discovery that could have been!  Yes, we’re all excited about Picard, but join us one last time as we dance the mushroom to that sweet, sad, mycelial music.

DEVASTATING. Abolutely devastating. The only words to describe this podcast’s coverage of the Season 2 FINALE of Short Treks, Children of Mars. (Marge by the Monorail? WE DID IT.) To help Jack make sense of this tragedy, and of the bottomless cruelty of Rogue Synths, he has enlisted the help of some dear friends, including Barm, Kevin Young (Reopening the Wormhole) and Richard Dunham (Ghibli Minute, Akira Minute). They’re here to talk tween girl shenanigans, shitty bus drivers, John Carpenter, cable news, oddly placed Peter Gabriel songs, what this means for Picard, Short Trek rankings, and so much more!

GRACIE FILMS. 20th CENTURY FOX. With Co-host Geoff Clarke and Guest Commentators Sean Davis and Josh Lee.

People in SPRINGFIELD continue to fall off the escalator to nowhere. The end credits play. A woman in a movie theater says ·SHH· as the GRACIE FILMS logo plays on the screen. With Co-host Geoff Clarke and Guest Commentators Sean Davis and Josh Lee.

HOMER'S makeshift anchor finds purchase on a gigantic donut, stopping the MONORAIL and saving everyone on board. As the townspeople evacuate from the MONORAIL, BARNEY speaks with LEONARD NIMOY, who then beams away. In an indeterminate future, MARGE narrates about the other monumental follies SPRINGFIELD has embarked upon. With Co-host Geoff Clarke and Guest Commentators Sean Davis and Josh Lee.

SEBASTIAN COBB tells HOMER to find an anchor of some sort to stop the MONORAIL. HOMER makes a makeshift anchor out of some rope and the metal "M" on the outside of the MONORAIL, and throws it out the window. The anchor causes destruction throughout SPRINGFIELD. With Co-host Geoff Clarke and Guest Commentators Sean Davis and Josh Lee.

The solar eclipse ends and the MONORAIL is once again dangerously out of control. Meanwhile, LYLE LANLEY·S plane to TAHITI makes a stopover in NORTH HAVERBROOK, where he is spotted from the ground. Angry townspeople storm the plane to attack him. KRUSTY throws himself from the MONORAIL, but is pulled back in by LEONARD NIMOY. All hope seems lost, until MARGE radios HOMER, telling him that SEBASTIAN COBB may have a solution. With Co-host Geoff Clarke and Guest Commentators Sam Stovold and Kevin Young.

Tensions between QUIMBY and WIGGUM escalate until they end up in TOWN HALL, now fascinated by the old town charter which they proceed to try and take from each other. A technician in the CONTROL TOWER suggests cutting the power, but the MONORAIL is solar-powered and thus cannot be shut down. As witnessed by LEONARD NIMOY, a sudden total solar eclipse brings the MONORAIL to a stop. With Co-host Geoff Clarke and Guest Commentators Sam Stovold and Kevin Young.

LEONARD NIMOY finishes explaining the doors in STAR TREK. HOMER and BART are enjoying conducting the MONORAIL, until there is an explosion in the engine, sending it out of control at dangerous speeds. HOMER discovers the BRAKES are out of order. SEBASTIAN COBB and MARGE determine the MONORAIL is traveling at 180 miles per hour. In the CONTROL TOWER, tensions mount between CHIEF WIGGUM and MAYOR QUIMBY. With Co-host Geoff Clarke and Guest Commentators Sam Stovold and Kevin Young.

MAYOR QUIMBY finishes introducing GRAND MARSHAL LEONARD NIMOY. LISA sees LYLE LANLEY hurriedly leaving SPRINGFIELD with briefcases full of cash. SPRINGFIELDIANS board the MONORAIL for its inaugural voyage, as HOMER and BART start the train. Ominously, In the engine, parts begin breaking. MARGE and SEBASTIAN COBB arrive too late to stop the MONORAIL. On board, LEONARD NIMOY explains to another passenger how the doors on STAR TREK really worked. With Co-host Geoff Clarke and Guest Commentators Sam Stovold and Kevin Young.

At the GALA opening for the SPRINGFIELD MONORAIL, KENT BROCKMAN introduces a parade of SPRINGFIELD celebrities, including DASH CALHOUN, KRUSTY THE CLOWN, KYLE DARREN, and LURLEEN LUMPKIN. MAYOR QUIMBY introduces the GRAND MARSHAL, MR. LEONARD NIMOY. With Co-host Geoff Clarke and Guest Commentators Sam Stovold and Kevin Young.

MARGE explores NORTH HAVERBROOK, finding it to be a desolate and dilapidated ghost town. At the old MONORAIL CAFÉ, she encounters scientist SEBASTIAN COBB, who was hired by LYLE LANLEY to build the NORTH HAVERBROOK MONORAIL. He explains how LANLEY cut corners everywhere, and shows her what remains of one of the crappiest trains ever built, finishing by saying that SPRINGFIELD·S only hope is to have a great conductor. In SPRINGFIELD, the conductor HOMER has locked his keys in the MONORAIL. Celebrities gather to inaugurate the maiden voyage of the SPRINGFIELD MONORAIL. With Co-host Geoff Clarke and Guest Commentator Barm.

After seeing a family of possums living in the MONORAIL cockpit, MARGE feels uneasy, and decides to pay a visit to LYLE LANLEY. Seeing no one inside the foreman's house, she enters and looks at LYLE LANLEY'S notebook, finding some disturbing evidence in the form of doodles. LYLE LANLEY appears, but MARGE assures him she has seen nothing incriminating. More concerned than ever, MARGE drives to NORTH HAVERBROOK to investigate the legacy of the MONORAIL. With Co-host Geoff Clarke and Guest Commentator Barm.

In bed at home, HOMER tries to seduce MARGE, without success. On the last day of LYLE LANLEY·s MONORAIL conducting course, he selects HOMER to be the conductor. HOMER shows the family the inside of the MONORAIL. MARGE opens a panel to reveal a family of possums inside. With Co-host Geoff Clarke and Guest Commentator Barm.

Helping HOMER study for the MCATs, BART expresses his admiration for his father. Later, brain-dead slob BARNEY GUMBLE, in his cushy job building monorail tracks, accidentally causes a crane to drop a MONORAIL car on a house while waving to HOMER. In bed, MARGE expresses her concern to HOMER about his desire to be a MONORAIL conductor. With Co-host Geoff Clarke and Guest Commentator Barm.

On TV, the TRUCKASAURUS commercial ends, and a commercial for the LYLE LANLEY INSTITUTE OF MONORAIL CONDUCTING plays, inspiring HOMER. On the first day of class, HOMER is in attendance as LYLE LANLEY asks a team of investigative reporters to leave. At home, BART helps HOMER practice for the MCATs. With Co-host Geoff Clarke and Guest Commentator Barm.

LYLE LANLEY visits MS. HOOVER'S class to answer children's questions about the SPRINGFIELD MONORAIL. He adeptly sidesteps LISA's pertinent question with flattery. Meanwhile, on TV, JOHN TRUCKASAURUS, voiced by MARLON BRANDO, reigns supreme. With Co-host Geoff Clarke and Guest Commentator Kregg Castillo.

LYLE LANLEY answers the serious concerns of MS. HOOVER, APU, BARNEY, GRAMPA, and CHIEF WIGGUM in musical form. All the townspeople erupt into song and follow LYLE LANLEY outside in a flurry of excitement about the MONORAIL, despite MARGE'S concerns. In the car on the way back, MARGE tells the rest of the SIMPSONS how she feels. With Co-host Geoff Clarke and Guest Commentator Kregg Castillo)