Jack's Silly Little Friendly Neighborhood Star Trek Discovery Podcast

The inimitable Sean Davis joins Jack and Barm in making juvenile innuendos about the title “Moist Vessel”, and pulls off a “hi-third-oh” unknown feat on this show-- being the first guest to write an email into the show DURING his appearance, in case you’re wondering what all the keyboard clacking that could only be partially edited out is.  They’re also talking about Tellarites, American puritanism, BEES, emotional honesty, binary fandom, and especially TNG, like, a lot.  This is one podcast episode that is going to get YOU moist, so check it out!  

To talk about time, and crystals, (but not time crystals) Jack, Barm, and Kevin are joined by RTW email legend Jason Butze, making his JSLFNSTDSTPALDP debut!  The gang has a blast diving into such diverse topics as the mistakes Jack has made, Butze’s take on Picard, Ben Franklin’s coolness, work-ruining changes from corporate overlords, Sliders, Garfield and newspaper comics, the exhausting sex fantasy fulfillment tasks that shapeshifters must face, and so much more.  Oh, and Temporal Edict, as well.  Hop in your Crystal Car and speed towards fun!

It’s the second episode of Lower Decks, and the first appearance of a Ferengi in Star Trek in EIGHTEEN YEARS, so you know who Jack had to grab for this one!  That’s right, it’s Space Merchant Ferengi expert Kregg Castillo, finally getting to talk about Ferengis on Jack’s Silly!  In addition to waxing rhapsodic over their profound love of Quimp, the Dynamic Duo talk about where LDS has casually landed on the “Klingon Question”, Rutherford’s new grooves, fast talkin’ characters, and so much more! In addition to the debut of a brand new recurring feature, this episode will go down in history as the first official public announcement of a very special new project from Kregg that is sure to change lives!  This episode, I tell ya, it’s Golden, Boy.

Saddle up! Let’s lock, load, and LOOK at the newest member of the Star Trek Crew (of shows).  To do that, Jack has brought back the P.D. Crew (himself, Barm, and Sam and Kevin from Reopening the Wormhole) to check out Second Contact, the first outing of Lower Decks.  Is it good Star Trek?  Is it funny? Does it have ENOUGH Star Trek/California references? Is it similar/different enough from The Orville/Rick and Morty?  Most importantly, is it FUN!? In addition to these important questions, the gang will rank the Riddlers, discuss their favorite punctuation marks, find out who wrote Monkees songs, open a ginormous mailbag, and so much more! No matter what YOUR take on Lower Decks, you’re gonna have a good time hearing ours.

LOWER DECKS!? Never heard of it. At this podcast, all we know is DISCO, and we got DISCO BOOK FEVER.  Jack and Barm, widely known as the two biggest Emperor Georgiou (and Section 31)  fans in the world, have joined forces to discuss the OTHER crazy thing between the first and second seasons of Discovery that was happening, with crazy starfish people, slug people, and lightning ball people during the wacky adventures of Emperor Georgiou, Finnegan, and Emony Dax.  All right, yeah, we’re gonna talk about Lower Decks for the next ten weeks, but before we do, why not take one last dive into a Blood Devil pool and see how just fucking NUTS Discovery can be when the cameras are facing elsewhere? 

The drunk speak! That’s right, like our beloved Sheev, DRUNK STAR WARS has arisen from the dead, but the only difference is that this makes sense! Or as much sense as any drunk Star Wars episode could make.  Jack’s bottle of whiskey may have cost 80 dollars less than Kregg’s, but the end result is the same: another few fantastic hours of drunk assholes whining about Star Wars!  Jack has FINALLY found a sympathetic ear to try and keep track of what the hell is happening with lightsabers in this movie, commiserate about Death Star nonsense, pin down what is wrong and right about Threepio and hang out with Watto in Mos Eisley.  The alcohol, it is IN THEIR BLOOD.

Remember back when Jack, Barm, and Kregg discussed Saru’s origins, and promised you a Sober Last Jedi commentary track?  Of course you do, and 18 or so months later, here it is, because Jack can’t get enough of doing Last Jedi podcasts.  The Golden Boy, the guy who’s on like 70% of the episodes of this show, and your Jedi host are back to talk about The Last Jedi AGAIN, and this time you get to hear a cat vomiting WHILE YOU WATCH!  Once you’ve watched The Last Jedi this way, you won’t ever be able to watch it without it.  If you can only listen to ONE Jack Last Jedi podcast and you’ve already heard the other four, this is the one for you.  You have the spirit of a TRUE JEDI!

It’s time to Discover Discovery all over again! This time, the robotic Jack and Kevin of last year’s ELO party are joined by a couple of daft punks, in the form of Sam Stovold and Daft Punk superfan Geoff Clarke of the ApeCast, to talk about 2001’s Discovery. Inevitably, as the alcohol flows freely, they’re gonna talk about Interstella 5555, and branch off into a bevy of musical topics and other tangents as well, as they go through the album track by track.  So dye your skin blue and get ready to rock.  Veridis Quo, y’all! 

Beloved moths, the only Discovery podcast that is distermined not to talk about Star Trek: Discovery is BACK with its 3rd annual Curb Your Enthusiasm episode!  Lauren and Jack are ready to talk about asshole and swan killer Larry David, but HERE COMES A NEW CHALLENGER! Sam Stovold has discovered the cheat code to get on to podcasts, and that is making the host feel guilty about their past negligence.  It’s all good though, as Sam makes a fine addition to the Curb Team, as they investigate whether the eponymous swan is named Kyoko or Kiyoko, enjoy the rare quartet of Larry, Jeff, Cousin Andy and Funkhouser, reminisce on their large bird experiences, fantasize about Larry David and Patrick Stewart switching places, talk Godzilla AGAIN, and finally, discuss genre fiction that TRANSCENDS its trappings.  Mr. Takahashi himself couldn’t find it in his heart to condemn this episode.

It may be the millennium of Aftermath, but Jack and Barm aren’t awarding any platinum plaques to Star Trek: Discovery’s lackluster third comic series.  It’s Klingons again, and not even the combined powers of Pike, Spock, and a John Colicos looking Kor are enough to save this comic from an anemic story and dodgy artwork, plus shitty binding that has the TPB literally falling apart in your hands, as a final insult.   On the plus side, our magnetic co-hosts found the Captain Saru annual to be some pretty zippy fun, and enjoy talking about Star Trek: Strange New Worlds.  Unlike L’Rell, you’re not gonna wanna crash this fantastic episode into a mountain.

Trust the fungus, and trust Jack’s Silly to bring you the BEST random audio commentaries for movies in the podcast GAME! This ain’t no edited postgame discussion, it’s a commentating live as the movie plays thrill ride!  Jack’s Silly must have swallowed a mushroom, because it’s this show’s biggest audio commentary yet! Jack is joined by Barm, Josh Lee, Sam Stovold (Marvel Star Wars Explorers) and Kristina Kephart to talk about this misbegotten cinematic misadventure from 1993.  So fire up your Super Mario Bros. DVD or Blu-Ray and get ready to warp to Brooklyn and Koopa City together with your favorite set of Goombas!  Mama Mia!

Jack’s Silly coverage of Picard is NOT OVER YET, not as long as Una McCormack, Jack, and frequent guest Barm have anything to say about it.  In fact, being a prequel, it might be more accurate to say Picard hasn’t even BEGUN yet!  Jack and his Trek book buddy Barm unpack Una McCormack’s shockingly good novel about the fifteen years leading up to ST: Picard in this fitting coda to our Picard coverage (for now).  Guys, MAYBE this should have been the show??  Whatever the case, if, like most right-thinking people, you want to dive into a world of refugee relocation, political tomfoolery, bureaucratic nightmares, Picard’s psyche, Planet Raffi, Geordi’s pain, Maddox’s egotism, and the frustrating and unending puzzle that is Romulan culture, let us be your tour guides!  (Also, buy the book!).  As a bonus, tune in to hear musical talent level 0 Jack’s most elaborate musical effort yet!  Jolan tru!

The day the Internet has waited for is here.  You are now FREE to model your Picard opinion of off Jack’s Silly Little Friendly Neighborhood Star Trek Discovery, Short Treks and Picard Podcast’s, and you can really pick whichever one you choose from this episode’s astounding, and quite frankly, ridiculous amount of guests.  NINE of the thirteen guests who have graced Jack with their presence over this season of Picard (and Picard-related Short Treks) are here, including Barm, Kregg Castillo (Golden Boy), Geoff Clarke (The ApeCast), Sam Stovold (Marvel Star Wars Explorers), Kevin Young (Reopening the Wormhole), Sean Davis (After The Credits), Richard Dunham (Ghibli Minute), Derek Buckley, and last but not least, Kristina Kephart!  The sheer, fucking hubris, I tell ya.  Anyway, it’s the Picard finale discussion, it’s a beautiful mess, you know you’re gonna love it, engage, make it so, etc.   Picard is dead. Long live Picard.

Hold on to your butts!  It’s gonna be a bumpy ride, because Jack’s Silly is about jam this Borg Cube right into Synthville, and this gang of six roguish podcasters with painful histories and dark secrets is here to make it happen.  Captain Jack is joined by Barm, Ferengi expert Kregg Castillo (Golden Boy?), Kevin Young (Reopening the Wormhole), Sam Stovold (Marvel Star Wars Explorers), Richard Dunham (Ghibli Minute), and the lovely Kristina Kephart, making her JSFLNSTDSTAPP debut!  In this megasize episode, we’re talking Soong, Spot 2, Star Trek Discoveries, sexual attraction to gold people, and once again debating the definition of “person”, plus a billion other things.  It’s as AMAZING as it sounds, and just in time to capitalize on all the Picard excitement, in the proud tradition of this program.  Check it out, it’s pretty dope.

Jack’s Silly is BACK with some classic guests, and two new ones!  From distant corners of the Anglosphere come Brit Emily Thompson (Ribbalicious)  and Aussie Amos Dunn (Ei Sa Da) to join returning champ Brian Rudloff (Marvel Star Wars Explorers), Jack’s ApeCast cohost Geoff Clarke, and of course, the inimitable Barm. It’s the perfect episode for them to dish on and evaluate the various accents deployed by the Rios holo-family, and for Jack (tipsy on Geoff’s delicious homemade Romulan Ales) to get out of control with his annoying shitty British accents and Emperor Palpatine impressions!  Emily is here to spread the Voyager love and the gospel of 7 of 9, and Amos is here to talk BORGS.  And of course, we’re all here to share the love for poor Aggie, Soji, and of course JL.  With all due respect, these are six folks who you’ll never want to SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Jack’s Silly is finally staking tentpoles at Camp Riker on Nepenthe and it does NOT disappoint.  Camp Riker may have Will, Deanna, and Kestra, but Jack has Barm, Kevin Young (Reopening the Wormhole) and Sean Davis (After the Credits) to set up shop.  Oh, also, Picard and Soji exist.  We’re here to be a bunch of blubbering fools about Riker, but also to acknowledge that Deanna might be the true hero of the episode (and she has SHIT TO SAY, in rap form).  Somehow, we still find time to talk about the Sonic movie and Oingo Boingo, and we also finally blow the mailbag right open.  Jack is like Picard in having to deal with Marge vs. the Monorail, and Sean wrestles with his past self who has SHIT TO SAY about Disco season 2.  Jack’s Silly: The only Trek podcast with the SHEER FUCKING HUBRIS to keep going after two of its guest hosts literally fall asleep during the episode.

Jack’s Silly Little Neighborhood Star Trek Discovery, Short Treks and Picard Podcast is going absolutely APE over PICARD! And whenever people are going ape, Geoff Clarke is sure to be around. That’s right, we’ve opened The Impossible Box, and it’s filled with fun! Geoff makes his Picard debut, and just to make things even more Ape-y, him and Jack have brought classic ApeCast fan and classic guest Derek Buckley on to the show to make his Jack’s Silly debut! As we get drunk on Geoff’s fantastic homemade Romulan Ales, he recounts his recent journey through Trek moviedom, and then we move onto talking about Romulan sibling rivalries, workbenches and dreams, Cylons, the beautiful and chronologically confusing Picard reHughnion, and BORGS BORGS BORGS. It’s more fun than an assimilated ape!

What the hell are you doing out here, listeners? You’re listening to the most epic discussion about Stardust City Rag ever recorded, starring classic Trek characters like 7 of 9 and Mr. Vup! Like Picard, Jack has assembled a crack team of podcasters to infiltrate your ears, like Barm, Sam Stovold (Marvel Star Wars Explorers), Kevin Young (Reopening the Wormhole) and Sean Davis (After the Credits) to talk about Borg Children, their surprising excitement at seeing 7 of 9 again, breaking down the good and bad characters of Voyager, ranking the bars of Star Trek, exulting in the joys of Mr.Vup, trying to determine whether pregnant ladies are Vulcan or Romulan, figuring out just what is going through Jean-Luc’s mind, and so much more! It’s more fun than it is to say “Bjayzl”!

Picard is finally in space, and visiting Vashti to pick fights with Romulans, talk with warrior nuns, and add a new member to his party.  To help Jack process all this, he brings two first time guests to the ‘cast.  A couple of Founders who are somehow also Solids, Bryan and Susan Stovold (Jack’s parents) join the proceedings to talk about the Romulan diaspora, the Romulan Social Club, and delectable Romulan treats.  They’re also dishing on the many holographic faces of Rios, the myriad modern movie and TV influences shaping Picard, P-shards, 7 of 9, the reasons that this is the perfect episode for Bryan, and clarifying for each other with some degree of success the difference between the Kelvin and Prime Timelines and the status of Vulcan and Romulus in each.  You might hate that fucking hospitality hologram, but you’re gonna LOVE this episode.

Can you smell what Jack’s Silly Little Friendly Neighborhood Star Trek Discovery, Short Treks & Picard Podcast is cooking?  That’s right, it’s another fat, juicy, carnal slice of podcasting goodness.  BAM! We’re kicking it up a notch with three great guests, all together for the first time ever.  Kregg Castillo makes his Picard debut with the scent of a Ferengi, Sean Davis smells like a sharp blue cheese that you’re rapidly getting to like, and Barm is here, wafting into your nostrils like the odor of the most comfortable old shoe.   And with Hugh (not Culber, the Borg) back in the picture, the savory smells of a Borg BBQ come ever closer to reality.  Follow your nose to the most aromatic Picard cast in town!