Unsoulmated Podcast (or How To Ruin A Lasting Marriage With A Divorce)

Day 27. I have a major anxiety attack while watching the kids and have to figure out some way to overcome these overwhelming emotions. I find a solution through physical channels.

Day 26. In thinking about the ideas of the existence of a soulmate, if that even exists at all, I think back to the very first time I fell in love and the possibility that I may have passed up my true soulmate.

Day 25. The Zoloft makes it hard for me to separate my feelings from the side effects of the drugs but I have enough clarity to explain to my wife why her actions have been a disappointment to me.

Day 24. I am having a hard time seeing that my wife and I can remain friends after this. She says how important it is that we can still be friends but my history of distancing myself from others is already taking effect on us and it seems inevitable, one day, I will no longer be intimately in her life or she mine.

Day 23. I've lost a lot of weight over the last year due to changing my eating habits but I've lost even more recently due to depression. I don't recommend this way of losing weight to everyone.

Day 22.B. I can't sleep and it seems neither can my kids. As I help them get to sleep I recall another change that I observed in my wife from earlier in the evening.

Day 22. I take a break from my over analyzing of the events that caused my breakup and focus on what is wrong with myself that needs growing.

Day 21. My meeting with a divorce attorney to begin the legal separation process brings my unsoulmation to reality. A reality I am still struggling with accepting.

Day 20. My wife tries to use the responsibility of feeding our dog as a metaphor for why she is not in the wrong for leaving me the way she is doing it and an old friend reminds me of why life is worth living.

Day 19. A new argument about punctuality leads to another slip in my unsoulmates narrative that she has built to keep her from feeling any guilt about leaving me.

Day 18.B. Not being able to fall back asleep, I go over the interesting future my wife and her lover will have to deal with once they get past the honeymoon stage.

Day 18. My wife tries to overcome the guilt of her actions by reassuring me that I "will find someone else."

Day 17. An accident leads me to being awake when my wife comes home at 4am and I close out 2017 with the confirmation that she has indeed been having sex with this man but am able to find comfort in another friend.

Day 16. A quieter day brings out the petty asshole in me but an apology long overdue is a welcome change in the dialogue.

Day 15. I am no longer in love with her. And it took her telling me what was wrong with me to realize I had fallen victim to her manipulations and editing of history so that I would take the blame for our marriage failing.

Day 14. I communicate to my soon-to-be ex-wife her shortcomings and officially declare that I have fallen out of love with her resulting in a day of snide comments and a lot of harsh sarcasm.

Day 13. My feelings and suspicions are confirmed when my wife's best friend comes forward about her feelings regarding what my wife is doing and I come to resolve that I do not love the person my wife has become.

Day 12.B. I make a discovery that breathes new life into how I must complete my journey and the discovery is game changer.

Day 12. Our standing as being "best friends" is compromised by a fight that we have over how her new boyfriend plays in the dynamic of our lives.

Day 11. Keeping up appearances at a family Christmas gathering brings up some healthy discussions that result in an admission on the part of my wife that I needed to hear.