Lotsa Pasta

I’VE BEEN AWAY. TO A DISTANT LAND. You might even say, WHEREAMI? No, really, you might say that, cause he is here too. Where? CALIFORNIA, BITCHES. We went to Disneyland cause he’s never been but ALSO we went to Super Nintendo World because that’s over here too. OH, NO, BUT REALLY, the thing that this episode is about - obviously. Look at the title. It was WhereAmI?’s first time going to Halloween Horror Nights and we decided California was the right place to take his cherry. You know, because of the previously mentioned birds we’re stoning. WHILE ON THE TOPIC OF STONING, holy shit. California. You’re nuts. The THC levels you guys are throwing around on the daily in your shops is fucking insane, no wonder you guys are so dumb. I took one puff of a dog walker and left the fucking planet. It brought a whole new meaning to Space Mountain. Anyways. Enjoy some rambling! No stories! Less work for me! Yay! NEW! Support us on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/LOTSA_PASTAAND KO-FI: https://ko-fi.com/lotsa_pastaMERCH:www

Quick episode gets quick write-up intro. Tom Bongbadil was in town, I strapped him down to a chair and made him read with me. That’s it. Wanna fight about it? I wouldn’t. We read two no sleep stories this episode, and both are OKAY. Nothing ground breaking, nothing amazing, but fun to read nonetheless. OH, and the episode begins with a nostalgic breakdown of a game we play where we basically LARP. More of that in other episodes, but just wanted to recap for posterity. You know, some things I do for myself and no one else. I mean, maybe my friends too. Maybe. If they listen to this. Which they don’t. God damn it. Just listen to the episode, okay. The Good Thomas Shea(18:46) by Victor_Kinghttps://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/2wllss/the_good_thomas_shea/It isn’t satan. It isn’t monsters. It isn’t the government. It isn’t a serial killer. It isn’t aliens. It isn’t demons. It isn’t nuclear. It isn’t solar storms(47:40) by GrindHorsehttps://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/2g5kci/it_isnt_satan_it_isnt_monster

What can I say about Not Hot But Spicy forums that hasn’t been said in this episode or any of the other 7 episodes? Nothing. That’s right, NOTHING. If you’ve gotten this far, you know what we’re all about and I’m not gonna pretend like you don’t. Well, I am, in the episode itself I am, yes, but for this short description and time-stamp list, I’m gonna be a cock and say that you’re fine, everything is fine, listen to the episode: it’s fine. Torus Filth AKA Kitty is back as our #1 fan reincarnated as an even BETTER #1 fan of the show that wears all of her merchandise to the point of its detriment to society. It’s fine, she lives in New Zealand, I don’t know how things work over there. She could be committing arson wearing our merch and I’d still be proud as fuck. Anyways, these episodes are fun because they’re short and sweet and to the point - so let’s get it.Christoph(28:11)Personal Story for the Arachnophobes Out There(42:08)Citizen insane(47:30)Corridor - Watching, Waiting(54:31)Coulrophobia - The Man on th

You ever get released from your really strict and kinda crazy mental asylum just to go to another mental asylum that isn’t as bad? Me too. I have feelings about this ending. They’re not good feelings. They’re feelings I usually associate with bowel movements. You wanna talk OWLS? Nah, me neither. They’re weird and boring and like to throw up. I mean, yeah, they’re cool but WHO cares. Bit of an owl joke for ya. I know, it was bad. But not as bad as the ending of this story. Do we have a sense of humor still? Maybe, I’ll let you be the judge of that. I would say yes, because I know we try our best but sometimes the best just doesn’t do it, and I assume the author was saying the same thing when he wrote this. Enjoy how a story can end crazy and make you think the narrator really was crazy the entire time. CRAZY. Summer of the Vengeful Dead in Wichita Falls, TX(47:17) by TheThingThatWaitshttps://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/4ne5ub/summer_of_the_vengeful_dead_in_wichita_falls/NEW! Support us on PATREON: https

You ever get blamed for a murder you didn’t commit and get institutionalized because you plead insanity instead of going to jail? Yeah, me neither. I wonder where we’re going to go from here. Who can tell what is real and what is not, especially when that was kinda the point of the first ‘part’ of this series. Mineral Wells lingers as much as the CRAZY WATER does, so what even are expectations. “Who flew over the cuckoos’ nest?” I hear you asking, well, I don’t have the answer, and when I tried asking Deputy Dewey all he said was Jack Nicholson. I don’t know what the guy from Batman and The Shining has to do with any of this, but I’m about to sign up for Anger Management, you know what I’m saying? You don’t? Well, listen to the story. It’s a harrowing tale of how far a cop can fall and how some fucked up doctors can turn this into a winning combination. Welcome To Smithfield: My Time in a Mental Institution for a Crime I Didn’t Commit - Mineral Wells Saga Part Two(1:12:30) by TheThingThatWaitshttps://www.redd

You ever get stopped by the cops and have no idea what’s going on despite having just fled a murder scene and know you’re completely innocent and that ghosts are to blame? Yeah, me either. Deputy Dewey stopped me on the way home today and said he wanted to check my trunk for some bones and I thought it was a euphemism for anal and let’s just get to the point here: I was wrong. He was really telling me that he wanted to hang out and read a story from NoSleep with some gumption. Some length. Some real meat on dem bones, you know what I’m saying? Of course you do, you’ve been listening to this show long enough to know that we all got bones and we all got meat and some people got more meat than each other but we all got the same bones and those bones are fine and strong and inside of all of us and I’ve lost the plot but yeah, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, ARE YOU A GODDAMN COP? IF YOU’RE A FUCKING COP, YOU BETTER TELL ME, MAN.  Enjoy! I am a Police Officer in a Small Town in Texas and I Have Some Str

How do YOU feel about fossils, folks? I feel pretty good about them, myself. They’re bones, I’m bones, so we’re all bones. I get that. I feel good about that, like I said. I also feel pretty good about the stories we read on this episode. Yeah, we get off track as per the usual, but we read some really great stuff today and I’m excited to see what everyone thinks about it. Sleep Paralysis is incredibly interesting me, and so is the idea of the afterlife or even the tight-rope of life and death. What lengths we go to in order to hold onto the things we love the most. Crazy. Crazy stuff, right? I’d say that shit’s just about as crazy as fossils. My Sleep Paralysis Demon is Actually a Pretty Chill Guy(32:46) by WriteChrisWritehttps://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/imhzg1/my_sleep_paralysis_demon_is_actually_a_pretty/Maria on the Moon(1:24:08) by Grand_Theft_Mottohttps://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/eswqyf/maria_on_the_moon/NEW! Support us on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/LOTSA_PASTAAND KO-FI: https://

Lets get back to what made this show so special in the first place. Let’s pick random stories from a huge list and have no expectations about what we’re getting into and how the title may or may not hit its mark. What? No, that’s not what we always do, even with some of our series! That’s impossible. That could never be the truth. We can’t possibly, also, talk for like an hour before reading any of these stories. That doesn’t happen either. And we’re definitely not high. And definitely not just talking about random shit before also reading some stories while also smoking more and more throughout the episode. Yeah, no. None of that happens, right Glitch? RIGHT. Faces in the Flowers(1:06:02) by Grand_Theft_Mottohttps://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/mqgdho/faces_in_the_flowers/My Town Stays Inside When the Wind Blows from the West(1:26:45) by Grand_Theft_Mottohttps://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/n3i6ls/my_town_stays_inside_when_the_wind_blows_from_the/Excuse Me While I Kiss the Sky(1:51:20)https://www.r

Is this going to be better or more exciting than the other part? No, not really. I’m just laying it all out there that we totally didn’t know what we were getting into and that’s why it’s so disappointing now that we’re on the other side. This is probably even the same author from the first part revisiting his same story/ARG years later and trying to blow it all back up to get things going again. This is funny, though. This is a funny episode. I do stand by that because I do think we find a way to make this material more interesting and easy to listen to despite how poorly written it is. Yeah, I’m being an armchair critic, and WhereAmI? Is adding gas to the fire like he does; But after doing this for 7-8 years, you learn a thing or two. And one of those THANGS is when a bad story is bad.I Think a Nosleep May Be Real AKA Unearthing the Ransom Saga(24:22) by CapnJammer80https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/1gkbs5/my_hometown_doesnt_exist/NEW! Support us on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/LOTSA_PASTAAND KO

What can I say about this next series with WhereAmi? That already hasn’t been said on some of his other episodes… We’re easily excitable. We over-exaggerate. We use hyperbole a bunch. We’re eager. We get into the hype. And that… honestly, promotes a set up for disappointment. And that disappointment usually comes in the form of #wasdemons. Yes, folks, we have another #wasdemons two part story with WhereAmi? To go through. Is it bad? Uh…. No? Not entirely? Could it have been better? Almost infinitely. It has so much promise at the jump that almost immediately deflates upon landing. More like pierced intimately on a bed of Sharpe Cutco knives. Alas, we have fun here. My Hometown Doesn’t Exist(20:05) by CapnJammer80https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/1gkbs5/my_hometown_doesnt_exist/NEW! Support us on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/LOTSA_PASTAAND KO-FI: https://ko-fi.com/lotsa_pastaMERCH:www.redbubble.com/people/elcapitanmuerte/portfolioYOUTUBE:www.youtube.com/channel/UCxoqIN-fkfdlmGEjWujypxwSOUNDCLOUD:ww

New season, new talent. What can I say? We gotta keep the train rolling and we gotta keep picking up passengers and sharing the load. Fucking fat load, you know what I’m saying. Fucking HUGE load for Lotsa Pasta, right? RIGHT. So who better to spread that load than a married couple. First married couple on the show? That’s cute. And you know one of them already, Midnight Bride was introduced with her single last season, so she’s back again, and she’s dragging the ol’ balls and chain with her - the husband. And when it came time to translate his particular sunny disposition, I thought what better way than illustrating him as the complete opposite of his dearly beloved. We got Afternoon Groom and the Midnight Bride on today’s episode folks and ain’t we lucky to be here recording the Spaghetti and Meatballs podc- I mean - the Lotsa Pasta Podcast today. I was glad to get this two-fer on the couch and hopefully they’ll be back soon for another smattering of the spooks soon! Let’s get spooky: TOO SPOOKY. Stay in Be

What better way to break up a massive sausage fest with a bunch of hunky boys than by calling in our favorite resident soul sucking temptress from the deep: Cannibal Siren. I know it probably only seems like a single episode between our last reading of STORIES TO READ ALONE AT NIGHT but I was excited after talking to Mark over at One-Page-Wonder(the author of all Stories to Read Alone at Night) and wanted to finish his current catalog of horror. Cannibal Siren, right along with me, eager to dive in, we get through three more of Mark’s amazing tales. It’s a simple episode after the madness and mayhem that was the Square, but that’s how we keep the balance here. Lotsa Pasta isn’t all a shit-show, right? We can have a semblance of structure. What better way than to visit one of our favorite authors and do what we do best. The Duplex(9:50)Marcy Travels(20:03)Neyna(47:02)http://www.storiestoreadaloneatnight.com/#moreNEW! Support us on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/LOTSA_PASTAAND KO-FI: https://ko-fi.com/lotsa_p

WELCOME TO THE THUNDER-DOME, FUCKERS. I mean, uh, scratch that, uh, welcome to the… square? Right, that’s what this is called? Yeah. The SQUARE. Not the cube, we didn’t have time for that. That’s too much. I’m lazy. We needed something that did less. Thus, the Square. If you’ve seen the cube, you get the gist. We wake up. We don’t know where we are. We’re in new clothes, our things taken from us, and all we have is doors and rooms. Some rooms: safe. Some rooms: really not safe at all. The OPPOSITE of safe. Like DEAD. LIKE BAD DEAD. Anyways, this is the most people I’ve ever had on one episode, that’s cool! Organizing this and putting it together, not so much! I hope this amounts to something listenable as I edited it in three days! YAY! You wanted more podcast? Yeah? Well, now, I proudly present: 8 hunks yelling at each other. Enjoy. NEW! Support us on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/LOTSA_PASTAAND KO-FI: https://ko-fi.com/lotsa_pastaMERCH:www.redbubble.com/people/elcapitanmuerte/portfolioYOUTUBE:www.youtube

What an episode awaits us today, in this new year. The first of its kind, an interview of sorts, we welcome an AUTHOR to join us at the table of tomfuckery. MARK! AKA One Page Wonder AKA Stories to Read Alone at Night author joins us for a brief chat and story today, and I couldn’t be happier with how it turned out. What a guy, to sit there and deal with Cannibal Siren and I as we both gush and crush on this dudes stories. And what a guest he is, not only dealing with our badgering questions but bringing a whole NEW spanking story to the show JUST FOR US - never before read or released online. What a momentous occasion, for real FOR REAL. This is definitely a milestone in Losta Pasta history - and hopefully, not the last! Amazing Bill Day(33:20)http://www.storiestoreadaloneatnight.comNEW! Support us on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/LOTSA_PASTAAND KO-FI: https://ko-fi.com/lotsa_pastaMERCH: 
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Oh, cum all ye faithful. Cum right here and now, please. Come listen to this week’s Christmas episode. YES, another one of these. And I incorrectly thought it was our tenth - it’s actually our ninth, BIG DEAL. And guess who’s back for another Christmas episode? Tenron Otrin! Yes, for his second Christmas episode! Nice. Oh, and Frowns McBooHoo is here too, I guess. Nothing new and exciting there. This shit is his idea after all. I hate these stupid fucking Christmas stories. I suppose it breaks up the monotony, though. We often take ourselves too seriously sometimes and some years we’re due some self-reflection. And what does that reflection reveal? How fucking stupid we could be, yes. That’s it. These Christmas stories suck and I apologize to NOBODY. Merry Christmas, and a Happy New year, you fucks. We’ll see you on the other side. The Santa at the Mall(41:02) by DerpySpaghettihttps://creepypasta.fandom.com/wiki/The_Santa_at_the_MallChristmas Nightmare(55:06)https://creepypasta.fandom.com/wiki/Christmas_Night

Aliens. What more do I need to say. They are a wonder to us humans, as there is no definable evidence out there that we are alone or otherwise. That’s why we, here on Lotsa Pasta, like to get stoned and talk about it - because there is no wrong answer. You can never be too calm or too crazy when talking about aliens. Got a personal experience, let’s hear it. Had a dream about being anally probed, share with the class. Let’s dissect this shit to the best of our abilities, yeah? On today’s episodes, I have some of the most important scientists I know: Spum & Kumm. Wait, did I say scientists? I meant assholes. When I asked them what they wanted to do, Kumm lit up like a Christmas tree and said, “Let’s talk  about aliens.” Word. Shadows on the Wall(40:42) by UnsettlingStorieshttps://unsettlingstories.com/2016/10/24/shadows-on-the-wall/Some Shooting Stars Aren’t Meant to be Wished Upon(51:43) by Christopher_Maximhttps://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/8pmysr/some_shooting_stars_arent_meant_to_be_wished_upon/

It’s the last understatement for this part of the series folks, as we’ve reached our finale on what it means to live in the embodiment of spooky. The atmosphere: spooky. The residents: spooky. The elevator: spooky. The landlord: spooky. Me, I’m well spooked. Cannibal Siren is loving this shit, however, and even though I’m spooked, I am too. This is peak Reddit NoSleep, folks. I don’t think I’ve been this jazzed since the Left-Right Game and it might just be nostalgia saying that, but it’s not often you find such an eclectic ensemble of characters in a story so rich. If there’s more to come of Kate and her story living in this spooky-ass apartment building, we’ll be sure to revisit it. But, for now, enjoy the finale folks. Let’s see this shit through. 
The Previous Tenant of my New Flat Left a Survival Guide(29:39) by NewToTownJAMhttps://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/ci94do/the_previous_tenant_of_my_new_flat_left_a/NEW! Support us on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/LOTSA_PASTAAND KO-FI: https://ko-fi.com/

Mark Rooster has climbed in out of the cold, and I’m trying to talk him into my bedroom like Baby, it’s cold outside. Just like the beautiful, fresh December air that joins Mark Rooster today, he also brings gifts: a veritable Krapmus here to spread the Christmas cheer, eh? For today’s episode is all in thanks to Mark Rooster’s beautiful mind. I’m not talking Russell Crowe, either, I’m talking Lindsay Lohan. Yes, the once Disney Channel original movie teen starlet. For, you see, Mark Rooster has written us quite a tale today, and it all dates back to the wonderful year of drug-addled 2010. This is when Mark Rooster thought Lindsay should play the beauty to an all-too familiar beast. Lindsay Lohan and the Beast from Hell(11:04)NEW! Support us on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/LOTSA_PASTAAND KO-FI: https://ko-fi.com/lotsa_pastaMERCH:www.redbubble.com/people/elcapitanmuerte/portfolioYOUTUBE:www.youtube.com/channel/UCxoqIN-fkfdlmGEjWujypxwSOUNDCLOUD:www.soundcloud.com/lotsa-pasta/(But also available on all majo

So many twists and turns in this serious, my head is about to spin around like that bitch from The Exorcist, minus the split pea soup. I’m enjoying myself, don’t get me wrong, but we’re losing good characters and putting other good characters in danger almost constantly. Things get a bit more challenging this episode because it looks like our Michael Caine impersonator Derek is missing and we finally come face to face with our landlord. And let’s just say, it’s not a good time dealing with him either. Lots going on here, folks. Danger ahead, danger in the rear view, we’re going into some uncharted territory of seriously understated fuckery. I hope you guys are ready. This is the penultimate episode, so the next one is our last. Stay tuned, stay frosty. The Previous Tenant of my New Flat Left a Survival Guide(22:54) by NewToTown JAMhttps://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/ci94do/the_previous_tenant_of_my_new_flat_left_a/NEW! Support us on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/LOTSA_PASTAAND KO-FI: https://ko-fi.co

The kingdom is crippling in debt and it’s all because of this no good inflation. Times they are a changing, Sofa King, and Bob Dylan ain’t the only one suckin and blowin to get by, apparently so is Sofa Prince; I hope to never meet him. As a good host to our good king, I -of course- offered him a sumptuous meal upon his arrival and today we have quite the menu of creepy cavettatappi. Sofa King is hungry, he’s just beggin for today’s pasta and we’re going to give it to him in a VERSUS amount of doses. First, we read some NOSLEEP, then we read some UNSETTLING STORIES. Which pasta will come out on top? Royalty decides. Not you. You don’t have a voice here. This is America. At the Drive-Thru at Starbucks(12:34) by EZMiseryhttps://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/4fytkl/at_the_drivethru_at_starbucks/She Sold Happiness in Glass Jars(29:07) by flardhttps://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/b4vyxc/she_sold_happiness_in_glass_jars/Regina’s Raspberry Jam(48:46) by Max Lobdellhttps://unsettlingstories.com/2017/05/02/re