Today I Learned (nothing)

Jason and Steve compare terrible past choices in music preference. Who owned R. Kelly's "Gotham City?" Who bought CDs because the artist was hot? And who thinks Metallica's Load is a good album? --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/today-i-learned-nothing/support

Did you know that swingers attend wrestling shows to look for potential, beautiful people to swing (?) with? Also, one of the guys has a celebrity crush with a more local lookalike that is ... confusing. Finally, the other of the guys was in a group called the Mighty Mighty Monotones in high school. No matter which is which, they both lose! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/today-i-learned-nothing/support

See how angry and/or sad daddy is? Now, don't be like daddy. Ok? Also, they tell you not to stand up on the bus, but if you're not terrible about it, you can totally stand up on the bus. Finally, Jason thinks his crippling motion sickness makes him a prime candidate to stay the heck away from double decker buses. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/today-i-learned-nothing/support

It's McRib Season® and that gives us the perfect reason to discuss passing down our ravenous pig-like fast food habits to our children. Steve and his son go on a fun chicken excursion together while Jason implicates his son and daughter in his latest food crimes. JUST DON'T TELL MOM --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/today-i-learned-nothing/support

Fellas, listen. Marketing BS aside, all women like flowers. It's just true. Also, Jason is playing with fire, having packages delivered to his vacation spots because it just feels so dang good. Listen as he chases the next high! Finally, Steve refuses to wear leggings, even though Jason rightfully points out that doing so will somehow make him less creepy. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/today-i-learned-nothing/support

Jason and Steve refused to share this post and now, the algorithms are coming for them. Share this episode with everyone you know if you care about the puppies and also the firefighters! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/today-i-learned-nothing/support

Steve is the co-worker you always wanted, willing to forgo a working space and instead agreeing to use the window as his chair. Hear his adventures as he braves temperature fluctuations, genital humidity, and harassment from the paparazzi. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/today-i-learned-nothing/support

We learn Steve's convoluted path to a Nintendo Switch which involves unpaid land ownership and awkward family relationships. Also, today, you will face the greatest dilemma ever known to man. There are no right answers. You must live with the consequences. Good luck. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/today-i-learned-nothing/support

We've all misunderstood lyrics before, but it's singing them for other people that can truly bring the proper shame to light. Also, sports allegiances are real and powerful. Now stop singing that Red Sox s*** and listen to this episode! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/today-i-learned-nothing/support

Steve hangs with his family and it gets weird almost immediately, involving Chinese dating shows and rock-hard, chi-harnessing, electrified abs. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/today-i-learned-nothing/support

Jason tries to think of the dental hygienist when he prepares for the dentist (mints, blowing his nose, the whole nine yards). Steve has tasted his own flesh as it burned in his mouth. It's time for Dental Horror Stories!!! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/today-i-learned-nothing/support

Take it from Jason, don't buy (too many) toys when you're old enough to manage your own money. And take it from Steve, don't question the accuracy of a Barbie's anatomy. Things just unravel from there. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/today-i-learned-nothing/support

Steve is a crabber now. He gets crabs and he gets them so his wife can eat their delicious meat. He also enjoys the process of getting them: the kayaking, the camaraderie, the tasty meat itself. Jason can't relate to any of this and makes fun of it all. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/today-i-learned-nothing/support

This week we learn some of Steve's deepest darkest secrets. He is woefully unprepared for a fire and he has been ripping off Netflix original series for his own attempts at literary fame. In other news, Jason is totally ready for an earthquake. Assuming he's wearing the right shoes when it happens. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/today-i-learned-nothing/support

Steve's son wants to podcast with the big boys, neither he nor Jason want to think about how old they are (but their kids do), and Taco Bell has now been introduced to the children's diet. There is no hope beyond this. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/today-i-learned-nothing/support

Jason tells the tale of a tumultuous tram ride, a tragedy with a happy ending, and another, separate incident that proves his frailness and squeamishness. It's got deadly circumstances, missed opportunities, and a man accepting his shortcomings for the benefit of those in peril.  --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/today-i-learned-nothing/support

Steve swims with the sharks and gleefully, villainously forces his children to join him and Jason looks forward to his first trip to Dollywood, where you make your own fun (probably). Also, Steve took his wife and her mother to Vegas for fun. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/today-i-learned-nothing/support

Jason and Steve teach others how to write stories, avoiding the tropes and pitfalls that their own pitiful attempts have suffered. Steve imaginarily creeps out the non-existent teens in his neighborhood (not real, cannot stress that enough) and Jason contemplates leaving his lying wife. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/today-i-learned-nothing/support

For today's Idaho fun fact, did you know that sometimes goats are raised not for their hair, meat, or milk, but their blood? After Jason digests that tasty tidbit, it's time for Steve to delve into more of Jason's food crimes, such as never eating cereal with milk, steering clear of Grape-Nuts based on the name alone, and swearing off raisins based solely on their texture. Of course, Steve digs himself some coagulated pig's blood, so ignore anything he says. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/today-i-learned-nothing/support

In this episode, the guys discuss the evil nature of dimmer switches, fun house tricks like secret passageways that may lead to hidden deaths or surprise coitus discoveries, and the excitement of a murder mystery, even if the victim is (was) someone you know (knew) and love (loved). Also, Steve has a surprise about the bed his grandparents own! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/today-i-learned-nothing/support