Today I Learned (nothing)

Jason recalls the hell of learning to type on a computer keyboard, Steve has dealt with many questionable healthcare providers in the past, and together the guys find out how NOT to diagnose a stomach problem. (Originally posted: January 5, 2018) --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/today-i-learned-nothing/support

Jason’s mouthbreather ways are passed down from generation to generation, Steve finds a teaching moment in his smelly, sweaty ways, and both guys contemplate the awesome idiocy of wearable tech. Also, a shark is jumped when Steve believes the Digital Strips history has all been a lie. (Originally posted: November 17, 2017) --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/today-i-learned-nothing/support

Jason gives a great reason why you should never share a Google Doc with him, Steve is blind to the differences between typefaces, and together the guys find a common ground in a post-font society. (Originally posted: October 27, 2017) --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/today-i-learned-nothing/support

Steve was invited to a beach BBQ and found a hot woman in attendance that changed his entire outlook on his life. Jason has no work wives, but work husbands abound. And together, these co-hosts of hundreds of episodes finally decide they can be buddies. (Originally posted: October 13, 2017) --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/today-i-learned-nothing/support

Ever work in food service? Ever work in food service for a matter of minutes? On accident? Then does Steve have a story for you! Also, is Subway just another way to say you’ve given up with respect to your food choices? Finally, IT’S HAMBURGER DAY and we’re having sweet onion EVERYTHING! (Originally posted: October 6, 2017) --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/today-i-learned-nothing/support

Ever meet a man who shows off his colostomy bag in a public restroom? Steve and his son did, and lived to tell the tale! Also, Jason learns about kybos and yurts while reiterating his loathing for all portable pooping possibilities. (Originally posted: September 22, 2017) --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/today-i-learned-nothing/support

How hot has Seattle been? So hot that children are fighting on futons! So hot that it’s more like Utah hot. It’s got Steve in his perpetual state of percolating rage. Jason, meanwhile, has issues with dropping chocolate on his office chair (yes, it’s chocolate) and the magical clean-up that never takes place. Alien chairs? You be the judge! Also, why can’t you take Asians camping? The guys file their report. (Originally posted: September 8, 2017) --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/today-i-learned-nothing/support

Steve’s travel adventures continue! Meet his travelmates: Monopoly guy gone feral, sleeping lady in front of him, and bearded guy! Cower in fear at the man clutching his trash bag of fruit! Indulge in businessmen flying to avoid their spouses! Endure multiple viewings of Wild Hogs starring Home Improvement’s Tim Allen! (Originally posted: August 1, 2017) --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/today-i-learned-nothing/support

Steve spent some time at Shanghai Disneyland recently and it only served to remind him that youthful infatuation is the same around the world, Chinese T-shirts can be horrifically offensive, and tube tops are always a bad idea on roller coasters. Meanwhile, Jason has a T-shirt that sends mixed signals to Russians and Americans alike. (Originally posted: July 21, 2017) --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/today-i-learned-nothing/support

If someone doesn’t know what popping and locking is, how do you show them? Steve wants to know. If you play video games around your kids, how do you hide your competitive ugliness? Jason wants to know. And everyone wants to know the best creative curses to utilize when the children are around. (Originally posted: July 7, 2017) --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/today-i-learned-nothing/support

Steve assumes any lady wearing matching underwear is up to something, so Jason helps him crank that up to 11. Also, have you really given the Dan Aykroyd getting his weiner touched by a ghost scene in Ghostbusters enough thought? The guys think not and offer their opinions and expertise. (Originally posted: June 16, 2017) --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/today-i-learned-nothing/support

Steve has been on the West Coast for all of a couple months and he thinks the East Coast needs to CHILL OUT. The Midwest simply says, “meh.” Also, the guys talk about why you want a strict dress code when it comes to your accountant. Finally, Jason is trying to eat healthier. He thinks this means he should eat more cheese. Steve tells him why that’s dumb. (Originally posted: June 10, 2017) --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/today-i-learned-nothing/support

Do you keep haunted stuffed elephants under your stairs? Is your co-worker secretly (or openly) a huge beanie enthusiast? Is Steve angry at Jason for liking scarves so much? The answer to these questions and more is up for you to come up with, because Today, I Learned Nothing. (Originally posted: June 3, 2017) --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/today-i-learned-nothing/support

Jason hates his body, so you get his review of Taco Bell’s Naked Chicken Chips as well as McDonald’s Signature Crafted Recipes. Meanwhile, Steve thinks he found a brothel and is ready to explain the intricacies of erotic massage to his co-host. Finally, comic shops are known for a wide array of varietals in flatulence. But what do you do when the comic shop owner is the most flatulent one of all? (Originally posted: May 27, 2017) --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/today-i-learned-nothing/support

Ever hear of a penguin who falls in love with a human woman? How about a cartoon representation of one? Also, bridges are terrifying to some, but traumatizing to all who have gotten their heads stuck in one. Finally, Jason’s robotic childhood was robbed of many seminal, heart-wrenching moments. Let’s make him relive them now! (Originally posted: May 20, 2017) --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/today-i-learned-nothing/support

Steve attended Sakuracon and wondered just how different we all are, really. He also discovered adaptive homeless people, which really sounds like some promising tech. Jason, meanwhile, besmirches anime and usually falls asleep before he can watch enough to form a cohesive argument. (Originally posted: May 7, 2017) --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/today-i-learned-nothing/support

When it comes to vomiting, it’s best to act like a Boy Scout and be prepared. Also, are all Target bathroom sinks designed to spray your crotch? Jason investigates. Also, Steve and his son are especially adept at finding dead men in bathrooms. Use this knowledge to determine when or if you will accompany them to the can. (Originally posted: April 29, 2017) --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/today-i-learned-nothing/support

Autocorrect is judging Jason, and he doesn’t appreciate the judgment. Steve is going out to the ballgame, and he only wants peanuts and … grasshoppers? Like, the insect? Also, priests might find it uncomfortable to take in an indie wrestling match. Shocker! (Originally posted: April 23, 2017) --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/today-i-learned-nothing/support

Steve’s nerdy, bulky backpack got him stuck in a bus door, and he was quite embarrassed. Jason attempts to give us all a listen to the smooth, soothing sounds of his digestive system. And we find out just how hard it is to have gas in a skyscraper. (Originally posted: April 15, 2017) --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/today-i-learned-nothing/support

Steve loves his new job, including all the naked dudes he can look at in the hotel across the street. Jason was disconcerted by a large cadre of naked men (in a locker room) (that he wasn’t supposed to be in). And together, the guys decide to stop hatin’ on those happy, naked souls. (Originally posted: April 15, 2017) --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/today-i-learned-nothing/support