How To Stop Wanting Him Back

I see you. You’re really in the thick of it with your heartbreak, and you feel like you’re never going to feel better, or you just can’t imagine a time when you aren’t aching with a broken heart. That’s why this week I am back with another guest and client, Sheeva, who is here to share her story of healing her heart. In this episode, you’ll hear all about Sheeva’s journey from heartbroken, to being a podcast listener, and then making the jump to being a client in my group program. You’ll also hear about how she really dove in head first to the work, and because of that, how she was able to heal her heart faster than she ever thought possible. Her story is so beautiful and I can’t wait for you to hear it.Even though every single person is different, and their heartbreak stories and situations may differ, I believe it is so helpful to hear each other’s stories and be able to apply things that work for them to our own journeys. It’s one of the many reasons I believe in the work in my group program- seeing others

This is a topic that I know I’ve talked about across many episodes, but I wanted to set aside an entire episode on settling for crumbs because it’s something that I know I have done, as well as many of my clients. And until you are able to recognize the why and the how, it will just keep repeating itself, which won’t bring you to a happy and fulfilling relationship. One client that I know has dealt with this a lot in her recent dating past is my friend, colleague, and guest coach in my group coaching program, Katie Johnston, who I’ve asked to join me in this episode. Together we talk about what it looks like when we settle for crumbs, why we do it, and what it takes to really break the habit so that you can stop settling and instead, ask for what you need and get it in return. I’m also really excited to share with you the upcoming webinar I created called, “Will He Come Back?” This webinar is really focused on those who are still really in the thick of it with their heartbreak. I know that when we’re heartbro

There are so many times in my past when I was told that I was just too much for someone, particularly in my dating relationships. I have an anxious-attachment style, and my love language is definitely quality time. When I’m with someone, I just want to be with them! But inevitably, it would be too much for whoever I was dating, and they would tell me that they needed space from me, leading me to feel shameful about my needs and needing to spend time with them. I know that I am not the only one who has felt this before because I have heard this same thing from my clients who are struggling with trying not to be “too much”. If you have an anxious-attachment style or your love language is quality time, or even a quantity of time, this episode is definitely for you. Let’s take a look at those moments when they tell you that they need space, what you’re making it mean, and how to get what you need from the person that you are dating.My love, you are worth getting everything that you want from the relationship that

How often have you looked forward to a vacation as a chance to get away from it all and forget about your life for a bit? I recently went on an amazing trip to Cabo San Lucas with my partner Larry, and it got me thinking about what it’s like to be on vacation with a broken heart. I know for many of us, we look forward to these trips as a way to heal us or to just forget about our problems for a while, but when you’re in the thick of a broken heart, it just isn’t that simple. No matter how much healing you do and how secure you are in your ideal relationship, triggers and trauma responses can and will still show up. In this episode, we get clear on our expectations around taking a trip and I share my 5 tips for navigating heartbreak on vacation. If maybe this episode wasn’t super specific to you or what you’re going through right now, then I highly encourage you to apply for my one-year group coaching program, Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better. The truth is that coaching is very nuanced and the wor

I think it’s natural for us to share things with our loved ones, our wins, our challenges, and even difficulties in our love lives. Sometimes we just really need to vent about something, but what if that venting and sharing is actually doing damage to your relationship or the relationship with your loved ones? There’s a difference between sharing things with a coach and sharing things with your friends and family members, and it can create lasting effects with those you love. In this episode, I talk about who I personally choose to share things with, creating boundaries with my friends and loved ones, and how I coach my clients through challenges and difficulties they are facing in their love lives. If you are looking for a safe space to air your dirty laundry and get coached, please apply for my one-year group coaching program, Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better. The truth is that coaching is very nuanced and the work for someone else may be completely different from what you need. That is why it

So you’ve healed your heart, fallen in love with you, and you are out there on the dating scene to find your Mr. or Ms. Right. But are you actually ready to find that love? Or, are you telling yourself little white lies about your dating life which might actually be holding you back from finding your person? Let’s take a look at six stories you may be telling yourself which might seem like no big deal, when in fact, they are keeping you in the suffering and from finding love. If you missed last week’s episode, The Lies We Tell Ourselves In Heartbreak, be sure to give that a listen if you are still in your heartbreak and ways you may be holding yourself back.And if you are looking for coaching on your specific situation, please apply for my one-year group coaching program, Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better. The truth is that coaching is very nuanced and the work for someone else may be completely different from what you need. That is why it is so important to dive in and hire a coach. In my program

Here’s the deal. You’re already suffering in your heartbreak, and you may be telling yourself some sneaky little lies to make yourself feel better. But when you tell yourselves these lies, you end up perpetuating the suffering. And not only that, but you’re keeping yourself from becoming the healed version of you that will be able to call in Mr. or Ms. Right. Some of these lies have come up for clients in my group coaching program, and they are things that I have definitely heard other women say. So in this episode, I share with you the five lies you tell yourself in heartbreak, and we dive into how they are holding you back, and the coaching I gave my clients that allowed them to free themselves from heartbreak.If you are looking to really get deeper on your situation, healing your heart, and cleaning up your stories, then I invite you to join my program, Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better. In my program, we work together and I help women create the results of healing their hearts, falling in love

You might not know it, but I’ll bet that you have gone to the hardware store looking for bread. This is something my former therapist used to say to me and I had forgotten about this phrase until someone said it recently. And the more I thought about it, I realized that there are actually a couple of different ways this may apply to you and your heartbreak and dating life. Have you dated someone, or maybe you’re currently dating someone, who just can’t give you what you need or want? Maybe you’ve been going to the hardware store for bread. Or, let’s say you just really need some advice about your relationship so you reach out to friends or a family member, maybe you’ve been going to the hardware store for bread. In this episode, let’s look more at what this means, and how you can go to the right place to get exactly what it is you need.If you are looking for expert advice and coaching in the area of heartbreak, dating, and finding love, I invite you to join my program, Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone B

Let’s say you’re on a fun date, or maybe you’re even spending time with friends and you think, “How can I bottle this moment up so that I can feel access these feelings again later?” This happened with a client recently who wanted to know how she can capture the happiness and good feels in the moment so that when she’s not feeling so good in the future, she can access these feelings again. In this episode, I share with you the coaching I gave her on bottling up those good feels, and how to manage those moments when things aren’t feeling so great so that you can move through them with self-compassion and you can access the good feels again. This is the third part of a 3-part series based on some coaching I gave my clients in my group program a couple of weeks back and they said that it absolutely blew their minds. I highly recommend if you want to sink your teeth deeper into this work with me and truly learn and feel like you are your best friend, join my program! There’s so much magic happening there with lik

I think it’s pretty safe to say that we’ve all been there before: there’s something we need to do - whether that be to start an uncomfortable conversation, cut contact with an ex, or finally leave a relationship - and we just can’t bring ourselves to do it because it feels so wrong. We know that it’s the right move, but it’s hard to do because it doesn’t feel good. That’s what I’m talking about this week. This episode was inspired by a client in my group coaching program who was facing a situation that just didn’t feel good, and I coached her through taking the steps she needed to take so that she could do the thing she knew she needed to do.I am fascinated by the conversations I have with people who don’t understand coaching. Some people think that it is fun and there’s nothing really tough when it comes to coaching. I would argue that while coaching with the right coach can lead to amazing results, it definitely requires you to go through the hard stuff in order to get there. Leaning into the discomfort and

Let’s say that you have been working on healing your heart, falling in love with you, and it’s time to start dating again. Then, all of a sudden, some guy pulls the rug out from under you in a crappy way that you were not expecting. This recently happened to my client Sarah, and when she came to me for coaching, she said she was so sad that her person still isn’t here. Now, coaching can be very nuanced and this episode definitely deals with more advanced coaching and won’t be for everyone. But still, be sure to listen as I share with you how I coached her through this and the next steps I think she should take in order to continue to heal and find her Mr. Right. This is coaching that was specific to Sarah, and it may be very different for you, and that’s why I highly recommend purchasing my course, Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better. In this 60-video course, I walk you through how to heal your heart, fall the fuck in love with you, and find someone better. And if you really want to take your healin

Let’s look at this “risky” business of dating. I was inspired to do this episode after a friend recently reached out asking for some dating advice when it comes to a situation where she wasn’t sure if it was worth the risk and it really got me thinking. I think it’s natural to approach our dating lives from the mindset that it’s a risk. But is it really? Of course there are situations where we may be in danger or at risk, but when we are in the mindset of dating being risky, is it really, or, are we just afraid of gettin hurt? In this episode, let’s look at the idea of riskyness and how you are thinking about your dating life so that you have aligned thoughts and can call in the love of your life. Dating doesn’t have to be as risky as we make it out to be. Coaching is all about looking at our thoughts and investigating our actions so that we can create what it is we desire. It’s critical to know yourself and what best serves you and I show you how to get clear on these things through my course, Stop Wanting H

If you are listening to this podcast, I’ll bet you have had this thought that if you don’t find him, your ideal person, your life will be miserable. This is a belief that I carried for a very long time, and is something I hear often from my clients. Even if they don’t say it outright, I know that some of my clients believe that can’t be truly happy until their person shows up. My loves, I want you to know that your person is an added bonus, but they can’t fill the void. Only you are responsible for healing your heart and loving the fuck out of you. Take a look at your thoughts that are keeping you from finding him, clean up those thoughts, and deliberately love the fuck out of you. Not only is it possible to love your singledom, but it’s critical to love being single while still calling love in.  In my program, these are the kinds of thoughts that we look at and really dig deep to investigate and I take my clients through the process of how to do that, how to create closure, and how to be ok if your ideal per

I just couldn’t believe it. I recently went to a social event and I was having a perfectly fine conversation with a gentleman when all of a sudden he asked a pretty judgemental and personal question. He said, “How are you 41 and you’re not married?” It became a conversation all about my age and marital status. I know that there is a lot of drama surrounding the topics of a woman’s age and whether or not they are married, and this can be a trigger for some of you. However, I was able to breeze through this conversation because I have done a lot of work to clean up my feelings about these things. And I want to help you be able to do that too.In this episode, I do a break down of the conversation that inspired this episode. I share with you the why and the how of the fact that my age, not only does it not bother me, but I love being 41. Your singledom and your age are both neutral circumstances, and not only is it possible to love these things about you, it is possible to love your singledom and to also want to

I think we’ve all had a moment like this in our dating lives. Let’s say you’re out at a bar and you see some hot guy that looks like he has what you’re looking for, and you’re very next thought is that he must be out of your league and just not interested in you. I know that I had this moment often in my single life before I called in the love of my life, Larry. This thought usually comes up when you haven’t cleaned up your thoughts about you and your past relationships. It may not seem like it, but it is possible to love your singeldom and also want to find your Mr. or Ms. Right. In this episode, let’s take a look at what this thought will create in your dating life, and thoughts that are better suited so that you can fall in love with you and find someone better.These are two of the results that I help my clients create in my course, Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better. If you are looking to stop wanting Mr. or Ms. Wrong back, as well as falling in love with you and finding someone better, I invit

I’m back this week with another fun and light-hearted conversation with my bestie Jamie McKeowen, and this time we’re talking about who pays on a first date. In this era of modern feminism, there are a lot of questions surrounding etiquette on dating, and this of course includes who pays on the first date. We talk about experiences in our dating lives, feminine and masculine energies, investigating your negotiables, and taking a look at your dating deal-breakers. This episode is a good example of why it’s so important to clean up your money story, and that your dating life involves more than just being on the apps and going on dates. In order to find your ideal person, it is important to really heal your heart and fall in love with you before you can find someone better. These are the results for my clients who purchase my course, Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better. And if you’re really looking to uplevel your healing and for access to my coaching, I invite you to check out my group program by the

If you’ve listened to my podcast before, you’ll know that I am in my ideal relationship with the love of my life, Larry. And it’s not just him, he also has four amazing kids and I get to be a part of their lives too. Throughout this relationship, I have talked about this situation in bits and pieces, but I’ve never dedicated a whole episode to what it’s like to date a dad, so that’s what I’m doing this week. And joining me to share her experience of dating a dad is my bestie, Jamie McKeowen. In our conversation, we really focus on our personal experiences, how to navigate dating someone with children, and how you can open yourself up to new possibilities in your dating life as well. Some of the situations I have faced throughout my relationship and acclimating to the lives of these little humans would not have been possible without getting coached. And honestly, I was only able to call in the love of my life and create this ideal relationship using the tools that I share with you in my course, Stop Wanting Hi

Do you remember that song Cheap Thrills by Sia? This week, let’s look at when we feel those cheap thrills when it comes to hearing about our exes. You may remember from last week’s episode that I was recently triggered when I heard about a recent success he had. And in that episode, we talked about how we process those moments of good that may happen to our exes and what we’re making it mean about us. This week, let’s turn it around. Just a few days ago I heard from a friend about that same ex, from my rock-bottom heartbreak, and hearing about a time when he felt jealous of me and a success I had. I’ll be honest, it brought me a little thrill of joy. In this episode, I share with you why I let myself enjoy this little thrill, how to know it’s ok to feel this thrill, and identifying when it doesn’t serve you. If you are struggling with these cheap thrills or not sure if it’s ok to feel what you are feeling in regards to your ex, I want to invite you to invest in yourself, heal your heart, fall in love with you

Did you catch that? Did you see the two thoughts in the title of this episode? There are two thoughts there: one, that there are “mean guys”, and two, this idea of “winning”. This episode is inspired by something I experienced this week and by the conversations I’ve had with clients. Oftentimes, after a relationship, we may be the ones to be broken hearted or feeling pain, and then we see our exes reaching new levels of success. This can leave you feeling hurt and like there’s nothing good happening for you, especially in the depths of your heartbreak. Let’s take a look at what I believe is the new thought that you should be striving for, and how you can continue to use moments like these in your own journey of healing your heart and finding someone better. If this sounds familiar, and you are wanting to learn how to do the thought work and use the tools I teach in order to stop wanting him back, fall in love with you, and find someone better, then I invite you to join my one-year group coaching program, Stop

I’m just going to cut right to the chase here and say, yes, of course relationships take work! The question is, what is the kind of work you are doing, and what kind of relationship are you in? We’ve all heard people say before things like, “relationships shouldn’t be this hard” or “it shouldn’t take this much work”. And in certain contexts, I absolutely agree. In this episode, let’s take a look at different kinds of relationships where it is worth it to put in the work, what kind of work it takes, and the relationships where it’s not worth it. There are going to be hard times in any relationship, but they can be better issues that aren’t as hard when you find your person. If you are listening to this podcast, I think you want to put in work, with the right person. If you are having a hard time deciding on reasons to stay or reasons to go, this is the exact thing I help my clients within my group coaching program, Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better. Or, for a limited time, I am again offering my 60