How To Stop Wanting Him Back

I think it pretty much goes without saying that our past can leave us damaged, especially when it comes to finding love and healing our hearts in preparation for finding our person. With some of my clients, that has led them to approach dating being guarded in fear of getting hurt again. On the other hand, I have seen other clients of mine get really swept up in the giddyness of something new and they have found themselves getting carried away when they needed to be a bit more cautious. In this episode, let’s look at both of these situations, how they affect your dating life, and how you approach dating from a more clear and up-leveled place so that you can really find your person.This topic has a ton of nuance and can vary widely depending on your past and where you are on your journey of healing your heart and finding love again. If you want to sink your teeth deeper into these tools and get coached, then I invite you to join my one-year group coaching program, Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better.

Short answer: loving yourself has everything to do with it! This week I am back with another one of my amazing clients, Christine, so that you can hear her experience of going through the group coaching program and the transformation she has gone through. Before she came to me, she had been working with another coach and was listening to this podcast, and was honestly a little nervous about joining a group program. However, no matter what else she was going through, or where she might have gotten stuck, she kept showing up to get coached.By coming to the calls, asking questions, and seeking out coaching, she has been able to truly see that at the end of the day, it’s all about loving herself, and any man or relationship she has is just a bonus. In our conversation, Christine shares some of the ways she was feeling the heartbreak, where she was stuck in her journey, and she shares the night and day difference she feels now, and how we got there together. If you are feeling stuck and, like Christine, you are re

As the world continues to open up and I’m showing up socially more and more, I’ve been really struck by the language I’m using in social situations. Over the years I have done a lot of work to own myself and show up as my full authentic self. However, recently when I’m making small talk with others I’m finding myself commiserating over complaints, or downplaying who I am, and this isn’t something I want to keep doing. I am proud of what I do and who I am, and I needed this as a reminder to show me that the thoughts I have are important, and they have power. And this translates into your heartbreak and dating lives as well. When it comes to the language that you’re using in your thoughts and the words you use to express how you’re feeling, these words have power. They show us more about how we’re thinking about these areas of our lives, and having awareness about these things will allow us to change our thoughts and create new results. In this episode, let’s look at the ways in which you are using words to com

One of the results that I help my clients create for themselves is to fall in love with themselves, along with healing their hearts and finding someone better. And part of what I help coach my clients on is to date themselves and to get so solid in that relationship that it’s merely a bonus with their Mr. or Ms. Right shows up. This sense of independence is really important, but I also want to share with you that it doesn’t mean that you can’t need your partner, or need things of them in order to be in your ideal relationship. This episode was inspired by a dear friend of mine who recently told me that she feels like her partner isn’t stepping up to the plate in the way that he once was. She has always been pretty low maintenance in their relationship, and now she’s afraid of needing more from him. But I’m here to tell you that it’s ok to need! It’s ok to have needs and to have certain expectations from our partners. In this episode, I give examples of the kind of needs I feel it’s ok to demonstrate, getting

No matter where you are on your heartbreak journey or if you’re on the path to finding the one, Valentine’s Day and all the hoopla around this day can bring up a lot for people. So with that in mind, I wanted to share with you how you can move through it. If you’re having triggers around this day, let’s address it. Valentine’s Day itself is actually a neutral circumstance. It’s your thoughts about it and what you make it mean that can dictate your feelings. But luckily, with coaching tools, you can change your thoughts, and create new feelings. In this episode, I share with you mindset tools that can be used, whether you are reeling from a fresh heartbreak, or if you are dating and looking for the one. Go heal your heart, be the future woman in her ideal relationship, and take care of you. You deserve it!If your heart is heavy and you’re experiencing longing whether it’s continued longing, or you’re hit with a resurgence of longing because of Valentine’s Day and seeing pink and red and flowers and chocolates,

I’ve been thinking a lot about boundaries recently, especially as I learn more about what it means to be a highly sensitive person, and I’m realizing just how important it is to create boundaries in your heartbreak and in your dating life. Truth be told, earlier on in my dating life, it didn’t even occur to me to have boundaries, and if I had, I might have found out earlier on in some relationships that the other person and I weren’t right for each other if I had boundaries.Simply put, boundaries are an imaginary line that separate you from another person. And even if you don’t identify as a highly sensitive person, or as an empath, I think it’s critical that we all have separations from others that allow for us to prioritize ourselves and the relationships we have created with ourselves. In this episode, I share with you the effects it can have if you don’t have boundaries. I also list out some boundaries that I believe will serve you, and how to implement them, even if it means having difficult conversation

I know that, for women especially, there is this pressure to settle down and start a family, and that pressure may grow the older you get. I get it! I used to face this same struggle in my dating life when it wasn’t working out, and I just hadn’t found my person yet. And the longer you spend in your dating life without your Mr. or Ms. Right, it may be easy to think about “wasted time” that you spent with the wrong person. I’m going to let you know right off the bat that wasted time is just a thought. The time that you spent in the relationships you were in is a completely neutral circumstance.I believe that the time you spent in previous relationships, or time you spent healing your heart was definitely not wasted. You are exactly where you need to be in order to find your person. In this episode, I dig into those reasons you may feel like you wasted your time so that we can clean up that drama and that urgency, in order to call love in. Let’s also look at examples of where I believe that you may be delaying

This is a topic that I know will benefit some of you because this is the exact thing I needed to hear when I was dating before I met the love of my life, Larry. I know how it goes. You’re dating someone, you’re a few dates in, and you are getting those butterflies and you just want to invest all of your time and energy with them to learn more about them and get close to them. My loves, this is your reminder to really slow it down, and take your time. You’ve done the work of healing your heart and relationship with yourself. Take this time to see what’s out there, while also enjoying in the results you have created so far. This will not just benefit you, but it will benefit your dating life and your future as well. In this episode, I share with you some examples of circumstances that have happened as a result of not taking it slowly. I also share with you some of the benefits of dating at a slower pace. I know it can be fun to be swept up in the excitement of something new, but it also might not be serving you

New clients and members of my group coaching program come to me from all different parts of the journey of healing their hearts and their relationship with themselves, getting closure on their ex, and finding true love. Today I have Kelly on the podcast to share with you her experience of coming to me for coaching and how she has been able to find her Mr. Right. It has been an absolute joy to be a part of this and to see the transformation she has experienced, and I am so excited she is here on the podcast to share it with you. When she decided to make the investment and dive in on healing her heart, we didn’t even start with her dating life. She heard me say on the podcast that how you show up in one area of your life is how you show up in all areas of your life, so we began with her job. In this episode, you’ll hear Kelly share how we worked through the toxic thoughts she had about her job, and how this laid the foundation for being able to get clear on what she wants in all aspects of her life. Kelly also

When you have experienced heart break, it can be tricky to believe that you will find love and that your Mr. or Ms. Right is out there. I have heard from people who tell me that they feel like their person is out there, but there is a distinct difference in having those thoughts, and really believing them. And not only that, but also having that belief when you don’t have any current evidence to support that belief, so that is what I want to share with you today. In this episode, I detail how you know when you have that belief, what happens when that belief may feel unsteady, and the seven steps for get you into belief that your person exists. Our brains look for evidence, and they will create limiting beliefs where they are using that evidence from our past to dictate our future. If you are struggling with belief and truly knowing that your person is out there, then I invite you to check out my one-year group coaching program, Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better. In this program, I coach you throug

It’s that time when there is amplified energy surrounding us with the fresh start of a new year! With it comes a lot of people really thinking about what it is they want and setting new intentions in order to reach their goals. I am proof that with thought work, commitment, and belief in myself, that you can create any result that you set out to. It’s what allowed me to heal my heart and find my Mr. Right, and in 2022 I want to help you create your best love life too. In this episode, let’s take a look at what it really means to do the thought work, and how to stay committed even if you feel resistant. I also share some of my daily practices that have helped me create really powerful changes in my life, and the eight steps for staying committed in order to create your goal. If you have been listening to this podcast and follow me on social media, you already know the thought work and the tools to heal your heart so now let’s focus on staying the course.If you’re really struggling with this thought work, which

You are in for a treat this episode! I am happy to share with you a conversation I had with my client Alicia. I love to bring my clients on the podcast to have them share their experiences of healing their hearts and the results they have created through coaching. I love for you to be able to see just a small glimpse of what is possible when you invest and go all in on finding your Mr. or Ms. Right. Alicia has been in my group program for less than three months and she has already had some amazing growth in her journey to finding someone better. In our conversation, you’ll hear me talk about a way in which I have coached her that I have never coached any of my other clients. Alicia also describes the difference between working with me as her coach versus the results she experienced when she was self-coaching. She shares in this episode that she can see her future self being created in front of her very eyes, and I am so excited for her progress and I just know she is going to find her Mr. Right. Topics In Thi

This is a big topic and something I get asked about a lot! Today I’m going to talk about trusting again in regards to trusting someone new, which can feel scary after healing your broken heart. If you’ve listened to this podcast for a while, you’ll know that I come to this episode with a lot of personal experience of broken trust, not just from my rock bottom heart break, but from other past relationships too. Let’s take a look at some of the mind-drama you may be facing as you begin to start dating again, and where hurt and broken trust from your past may be showing up in your present and affecting your future. I also share with you 9 steps for how to trust again. If this is something you are struggling with and you need a coach to really be able to see your blind spots and where you may be resistant, I invite you to you to head over to my website, https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com, where you can buy my one-year group coaching program, Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better. Or, from now until Dece

We’ve all seen the movies where one of the characters, usually a woman, is just trying too hard, and loving too much, and it is over the top for the other person. And honestly, I have been her! I’ve been in relationships where I was head over heels, showering my boyfriend with just so much love, and this was something that my client brought to me this week and she had an amazing breakthrough that I want to share with you. When you think about “loving too hard” and what that looks like, it is different for everyone! I think back to relationships I’ve had in the past and I can see where it was too much for my boyfriends at the time. But now, in my ideal relationship, it just works because I have created a relationship with someone who appreciates my love and loves how I love. In this episode, let’s take a look at how you love, let’s heal your past, and prepare you for your future. You deserve someone who loves your love. If you want to next level your healing and take a deep dive on finding love, I invite you t

Integrity is not something we often think about when it comes to heartbreak and the relationship it has with healing our hearts and finding love. However, if you want to be able to show up authentically for yourself, or in relationships with others, it is key to know what you want, what is important to you, how you want to be treated, and to accept nothing less. One of the important steps for how you get there is to be honest and ethical. In this episode, I share with you what it looks like to have integrity in your heartbreak, your dating life, and even when you are in your ideal relationship.I fucking love what I do, and I get so excited when I see my clients create amazing results! If you are ready for results like what my clients have created for themselves, I invite you to head over to my website, https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com, where you can buy my one-year group coaching program, Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better. Or, from now until December 31st, 2021, I am again offering my 60-video

I am constantly blown away by my clients! They show up, they are committed to the work, and they are powerhouse women who I feel completely honored to coach. I recently realized that a majority of my episodes are really centered on the problems in your life that are getting in the way of creating the results of healing your heart and calling in your ideal partner. So in this episode, I want to change things up and instead, I am going to share with you some of the amazing wins that my clients have had, in their relationships with themselves and in their dating lives, as well as other phenomenal results they have created in other areas of their lives. I have shared on this podcast before that how you show up in one area of your life is how you show up in all areas of your life. So let’s take a look at how three of my clients have been showing up, what it looks like for each of them when they are committed to the work, and just some of the amazing results that are possible for you too. If you are ready to create

Here is the tricky thing about our brains, they really like to hold on to negative thoughts. The thoughts that we hold on to are the ones that persist. That is why it is so key to being aware of our beliefs, so that we can dismantle them, create new beliefs, which in turn, then create new results, like finding your person. In this episode, let’s take a look at the limiting belief that I hear from clients all the time, “I don’t think he’s out there” and the seven reasons why they believe that to be true. Begin the practice of shifting out of your limiting beliefs, and you will begin to create new ones that serve you and your desire to find love.I am excited to share with you from now until December 31, 2021 I am bringing back my course! The course has the same title as this podcast and my 1-year group coaching program, Stop Wanting Him Back and Find Someone Better. My 60 video course is broken up into four sections: the introduction that sets you up for success, stop wanting him back, fall in love with you, an

As a coach, I truly believe that our thoughts create our feelings and that the situations we face aren’t positive or negative. They are simply neutral circumstances, and it’s our feelings about a circumstance that determines what we do about it. I could argue that Christmas is a neutral circumstance, but honestly, I know this is a really challenging time of year to feel heartbroken or to be single and looking for love. Questions about how to get through the holidays are definitely coming up for my clients and people who reach out to me on social media. They are dreading the holidays, the fear that some residual heartbreak will come up, or that they may even feel more lonely and miss Mr. or Ms. Wrong even more. In this episode, I share tailored tips for moving through the holidays whether you are currently in your heartbreak, or if you’re single and looking for love. I want this episode to be a resource and a reminder to be compassionate to yourself, whatever you may be going through. I have definitely been he

Can anyone else relate to this? Putting pressure on my love life was certainly true for my former self, and for a lot of my clients. We live in a society that really praises the hustle and grind, but sometimes, that just really doesn’t serve us. I’ve shared before that this is something that I really struggle with, and I have a difficult time with putting things on pause, so that’s what I want to talk about in this episode. When you put pressure on creating what you want, whether that is healing your heart, reaching the next level in your career, or finding love, not only does it make it harder, it also keeps that result further away. Let’s take a look at what it means to hit pause in healing your heart and in your dating life, how to identify when you need to pause, and how to really make the most of the time spent away from the hustle.Topics In This EpisodeEven in our ideal relationships, this work doesn’t stopThe fear of “not enough-ness”It’s natural to think the work isn’t working Why you should trust the

Let’s say you’ve been healing your heart and you’re ready to get out there and find your person, you might be considering what are the situations that are negotiable versus non-negotiables. Or maybe you’ve been dating, but just haven’t found Mr. or Ms. Right yet, and you begin to question if perhaps you are too picky. This was definitely me in my 20s and 30s, and I’m surprised I haven’t covered this topic before! In this episode, let’s take a look at what are your non-negotiables, where you can create some wiggle room, and why I believe you should. Before I met Larry, the love of my life, I definitely had a list of things that I would consider a no-go, and I wouldn’t even say that Larry necessarily checks all the boxes that I thought I was looking for. But now, I am in my ideal relationship, and I can tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is my person, and that list of checkboxes doesn’t even matter any more. So let’s look at your list and see where we can change your thoughts so that you can create the