Kate, Tim & Marty

We’re back and firing with hot takes and questionable facts. Mario and Peach are not dating (awkies), Elon’s Tesla Diner is falling apart and apparently being bilingual makes you richer, smarter and hotter. We also found out millennials are officially the drunkest generation (cheers to that), Gen Z are sipping soda, and yes, there’s a real fish called an Assfish.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Elon Musk’s brand-new Tesla diner is barely a week old and already making headlines—for all the wrong reasons. A woman copped a sunshade to the head while munching on her robot-delivered burger, and now she’s suing. No blood, but plenty of legal drama.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It’s official: after nearly 40 years of rumours, Nintendo has confirmed that Mario and Princess Peach are not an item. Just mates. And honestly? With Mario still living upstairs at his parents’ house in a shared room with Luigi, who can blame her? We deep into fictional crushes—from Mufasa’s BDE to Miss Piggy’s chaotic charm—and the horny hotline does not disappoint. One caller is hot for Mickey Mouse. Another? The fox from Zootopia. We’re not here to judge… but wow.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ricki is fired up, betch—and it’s all because of the Triple J Hottest 100. Let’s just say, she’s not handing out any "oh that’s gorgeous" stickers for that countdown. We unpack the wild story of a teacher booted for making students Macarena mid-class, check in on Destiny’s Child’s onstage reunion, and gasp as a podcaster tries KFC for the very first time. Ricki also gives a chef’s kiss to what she says is a 10/10 movie with no notes (hint: Happy Gilmore gets a sequel). Plus, we deep dive into the world’s hottest priests. Say it with us now: oh that’s gorgeous.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A UK teacher has been banned from ever teaching again after showing up to class completely sloshed. Students say she was drinking from a bottle, smelled like a pub floor, called them “little sh*ts,” and—because why not—made them dance the Macarena. Health class? More like drunk aerobics.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In today's Glossys, Destiny’s Child is back, baby! Beyoncé blew the roof off her final Cowboy Carter Tour show in Vegas by reuniting with Kelly and Michelle on stage. They mashed up Energy, Lose My Breath, Bootylicious and Break My Soul, while Jay Z and Shaboozey also made surprise appearances. Meanwhile, Oprah, Gayle and Kris Jenner were spotted losing it in the crowd—and Matty Healy’s mum is low-key thrilled not to be Taylor Swift’s mother-in-law. Oh, and G Flip and Chrishell just threw a medieval wedding. Lord Flipo, your princess awaitsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We reveal the weird stuff our partners are obsessed with (looking at you, Rich). A bold nutritionist says ditch the fries and get two burgers instead… excuse me?! In Glossys, the White House takes aim at South Park, Harry Styles drops a sex toy line, and Tesla launches a diner. Plus, a bogan YouTuber goes rogue in Emirates First Class, and it’s pure comedy gold.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A nutritionist has shaken the drive-thru to its core—claiming it’s healthier to order two burgers instead of a burger and fries. Apparently, you double your protein and ditch the carbs. Ricki-Lee, Tim and Joel weren’t having it. “Three burgers, no fries?” “Extra protein?” “No thank you!” The team concluded the only healthy option is pretending this advice doesn’t exist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We asked our partners what their favourite things are about us, and the answers ranged from deeply heartfelt (Lizzie legit made the team cry) to shockingly insightful (Jack is now our emotional support therapist). Oh, and yes, there were plenty of responses that cannot be aired. Ever.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From toenail clippings in pinboards to tuna nuked in office microwaves, we dive into the filthiest things people have witnessed at work—brace yourself, it’s truly feral. Labubu collectors are now officially walking red flags and we’re unpacking why (sorry to your shelf of creepy dolls). We’ve also got Australia’s most un-roadworthy car, complete with a garden chair for a seat—because why not? In the Glossys: Billy Joel rolls up on a pedicab, Kathy Hilton reveals her hall pass, and Travis Kelce compares himself to Julia Roberts. Plus, the sleepy English village turned sex festival hub and… Grant Denyer crashes in for Quick Draw and brings absolute chaos.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The TV host/stuntman/pilot/world record holder/world-class gasbag drops by to play Quick Draw, flexes his wildest achievements (hello, solo pilot license in 10 hours?!), and throws shade at Logies rivals and rogue game show hosts. He also accidentally triggers PC error sounds with the studio knobs and manages to steal the win from Joel in a nail-biting, buzzer-screaming, butterfly-botching finale. An elite performance from the Deal or No Deal king.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Tim’s only just discovered Wordle (yes, really), Joel’s shared a cursed photo that will haunt us forever, and a South African pastor proposed at a funeral—bold move or straight to hell? We’re also in our dad era: noodles at 10am, chips in bed, and no rules, just vibes. Plus, in the Glossys, celeb flight sightings, real estate moves and Pedro’s dodgy shave regret.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It’s Joel’s worst nightmare: a photo so cursed it makes Voldemort look photogenic. He uploaded it. Regretted it. Then made it everyone's problem. We unpack his full meltdown, frame by frame, pore by (Photoshopped) pore.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today we’re lighting a candle for the most unhinged funeral story you’ve ever heard — involving a rogue pastor, a freak-out at the pulpit, and a very unfortunate moment to go viral.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week on Four The Record: Tim asks Joe about why The Stephen Colbert Show is wrapping up... And what does it have to do with Donald Trump? Also, why is Trump suing CBS and The Wall Street Journal? And what does it have to do with Jeffrey Epstein? We'll get the full rundown.  LINKS Follow Tim Blackwell on Instagram Follow Joe Hildebrand on Instagram Read Joe's column in The Daily Telegraph Listen to The Real Story With Joe Hildebrand  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Joel’s still trying to figure out what umami means (and no, it’s not a sushi train), we dived into the ‘Princess Treatment vs Bare Minimum’ debate, and things got fishy when someone made a tuna salad on a plane. Plus, we asked: what can you store under belly fat? You’d be surprised. We also tested AI’s selfie skills with our dream celeb friends, and crowned the true kings of sex appeal — long live the dad bods.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

One woman’s belly has become the hottest real estate on the internet — and we’re not talking abs. Wait until you hear what she can stash under her stomach roll… including a household appliance and possibly a small pet.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We're back, beettttchhhh! Did you miss us? Because we missed you, too! We catch up on the things we missed over the break... and not just the Coldplay CEO cheating saga! We go through your messages and comments with Mailbag. Ricki hilariously details her most boring holiday in New Zealand (you may disagree if you're not Ricki-Lee tbh), and Joel found the funniest GRWM video on-line. If you don't know what that means, so doesn't Blackers - and we explain what the kids are saying.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In today's Glossys: Gwenyth Paltrow reveals all in a new book. Selena Gomez shares details of her 33rd birthday party. Sia has spotted with a 28-year-old fresh from her divorce. Morgan Wallen's got something to say during his show (close your ears, Coldplay) See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We didn't say 'human'. Here's what Joel got up to while we were on break!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.