Dear Men

“Every one of us walking onto that property was nervous.”So says one man on this episode, describing his experiencing attending his first in-person men's retreat.If you've ever felt intimidated or unsure about doing in-person work with other men, you're far from alone. In the words of one man on this panel, “There’s a shared understanding of the brutality between men.”But it doesn't have to stay that way. There can be a kind and loving experience of brotherhood.---Come to the retreat!It's August 8th - September 1st in Northern California (about 2 hours north of San Francisco). We work hard to keep it financially accessible, and payment plans are available.As one man put it in this episode, “If you’re thinking about going, you’re already there.”https://evolutionary.men/retreat/---Work with usWant to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good.To see if there's a fit

Have you ever felt trapped in a relationship, or like you knew something was off but didn't know what to do about it? Maybe you've had a vague awareness that you're somehow suffering (and so is she), but again, you didn't know how to even start to go about addressing it.A lot of people know the term "codependence" but aren't clear on what it actually means in a concrete way, or what to do about it if it does fit. For example, how do you know if you're codependent or your spouse is? Can one person "be" codependent while the other is not?Here we go right into what codependent dynamics are, and aren't -- and how to grow into independence and ultimately interdependence.In Jason's words of his own experience: "It was years of trying as hard as I could to make things better but never being good enough to matter how hard I tried." And, "That rescuer is filled with needing to be needed. That’s where it began for me."If your love relationships have always

Did you have healthy boundaries modeled for you when you were growing up? Do you feel like you know how to set healthy boundaries with your folks?If not, then some of these things may apply:You felt like (or continue to feel like) you need to take care of your mom or dadYou don't really feel free to live your life as you'd like because you know this might "hurt" one or both of your parentsWhile growing up and/or when you're home these days, you have to walk on eggshells so as not to upset themYou feel that their emotional wellbeing is somehow your responsibility (As one man on the panel put it, "As long as I please them, they won’t be emotionally unstable.)You've heard terms like 'enmeshment' or 'emotional neglect' and thought, "Hmmm, that might apply to me."You just have an intuitive sense that you need to set some boundaries with one or both of your parents.---In this panel discussion, four men share their raw, authentic and vulnerable truths around bounda

When Jason was in his mid-20s, he was stuck. He numbed out with porn much of the time, had never had sex, and struggled with dating and love relationship.Even outside of dating, it felt like something was missing in his life ... like he just wasn't completely alive. He knew he wanted something different, but didn't know how to get there.Then he attended one of his first personal growth events -- a men's workshop. When the attention was place on him, within twenty minutes a mentor had him on the floor (in a good way).He got to a place during that workshop that he hadn't gotten to in three full years of talk therapy. It was transformative, uplifting, and revolutionary to his nervous system. He released energy that had been stuck within him for decades. In a way, it set him up for the life he actually wanted to lead.If you've ever wanted MORE, you're not alone. You don't have to stay stuck. You can have the breakthrough you've been waiting for.---Work with us!Want to go deeper tha

Have you got a history of partnering with women who are physically or emotionally unstable? Maybe they've got an insecure living situation (or chaotic/dangerous ex-partner). Perhaps they're financially challenged, or they've got serious issues with depression, anxiety, or other mental health issues.You may even have been with a partner who became so emotionally dependent on you that you became concerned that if you weren't there, she'd be in serious trouble -- might even hurt or kill herself. As Jason puts it, "If I remove myself from the situation, I don’t know how my partner would survive."This episode is actually not about those women! ;) This episode is about the other side -- you.If you've wondered why you've repeated this pattern of attracting "projects," you've come to the right place. Here we break down what goes into the pattern of attracting women you feel you need to "save" or "rescue." We talk about the vulnerability involved in datin

Have you ever wished you could scientifically determine what’s wrong in your relationship? Or felt it would be helpful to somehow mathematically see how compatible you are with someone you’re dating? Or gone through a difficult period with a relationship partner and wished you could understand one another better? There’s a love tool that may be able to help. Zoey Charif went from getting a degree in Crimonology to writing about love and relationships — and in her love work, she brought to bear her curiosity about human behavior. The result? Her generating an instrument (like a personality test) that helps couples as well as singles grasp, another other things, compatibility. Perhaps the most interesting part is that Zoey herself has used it alongside her husband — to great effect in their marriage. ---Work with usWant to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good. If you're looking fo

What does it mean to be a good parent?If part of your job is to provide stability, then it can seem like even if your love relationship isn't fulfilling, it's best to grit your teeth and get through it -- at least until the kids are out of the house.The truth is a lot more nuanced.Consider the following, for example:What are you role-modeling to your children if you stay in a relationship that's physically or emotionally barren? What are they learning from you and your partner about conflict and repair? About boundaries? About warmth and affection?Would you want them to someday be in the relationship you're in?One confusing constellation of this can be when you're great co-parents with your wife/partner, but, say, your sex life is dead. In other words you manage the household well together, but there's no passion. Another is when you have a difficult spouse/partner and feel concerned that if you're not around to protect the kids from her, issues will arise.Here we delve into unheal

Have you experienced any of the following yourself, or been in a love relationship with a partner who did?You've held beliefs like, "I must be broken," or, "The world is completely dangerous."You constantly tested your partner's loyaltyYou've thought things like, "I'm too much and my needs are too much."You've played out patterns to the effect of: "If I meet your needs perfectly, maybe you won’t hurt me or leave me."You've experienced health issues like chronic pain, gastrointestinal issues, or chronic fatigueYou've alternated between pushing others away or clinging tightlyYou feel confused about your relationship issues because when looking back on your childhood you've thought, "No one overly abused me, so why is this happening?"---If so, you may be dealing with complex PTSD, also known as C-PTSD. Here we delve into what C-PTSD is, what it's not, and what to do about it.We also discuss the reality that trauma is intergenerational by

We all know the "rules" have changed when it comes to dating and relationships. There are few absolute in terms of how to relate to a dating or relationship partner, which begs questions like:If not money, then what IS the modern man supposed to provide?If you're a man, it may be hard to grasp what a woman truly craves from you. There's good news on this front, though: We women still need you! In fact, many would say we need healthy, passionate, masculine men now more than ever. And there are two very specific things healthy, embodied women truly desire from men. Here we delve into those, and along the way touch on sexy time, how hot it is when a man has a strong backbone, and how to keep up with all the shifting dynamics going on when it comes to sex, love, and dating in the modern world. ---Work with usWant to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good. If you're loo

Have you ever doubted? Whether you've doubted yourself, the existence of a higher power, the efficacy of "alternative" healing techniques, or anything that goes against the mainstream -- this has likely come up for you at some point.When Naushad was young, he came very close to being a pro soccer player. But physical injury after injury stymied him, and set him on a path of healing that took him from North to South America and beyond.This is one man's personal journey of going from being a skeptic to a believer. Not a blind faith believer, but one with nuance and consideration -- and longstanding impacts on not only his his sex, dating, and relationship life, but his experience with Life itself.---Work with usWant to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good. If you're looking for high-quality relationship advice, we've got it.To see if there's a fit for our f

Are you concerned about your lack of experience, whether that's sexually, in a dating context, or time in long-term relationships? Maybe you feel behind in some way, and hesitant or fearful about telling a woman about your level of experience.As Jason says, "For men in particular, it means something about you if you haven’t had sex."If it took you a while to start dating, have sex, or get into a relationship (or if, perhaps, you're not there yet as of today), you're not alone!Here we talk through Jason's experience around pursuing ("The hope was a girl would tell me they liked me, and THEN I would feel comfortable to make the move."); dating without a lot of sexual experience (“I was terrified of what a partner would think.”); and journey around overcoming these patterns ("When you have the right system, growth can happen pretty fast!”)Listen on to feel more relaxed and empowered about your dating and relationship experience -- wherever you're starting from.---Memorable

Want to be even sexier to women than you are now? ;) Learn to strike while the iron is hot!Seriously though -- striking while the iron is hot makes you a man who can generate polarity, build trust, and have women want to surrender to you. Knowing how and when to take action is very sexy ... and passivity, not so much. And all of these principles apply whether you're in a dating relationship or you've been married for decades.Here we go through examples of men who've done this well in dating, relationships, and yes, definitely in sex! And we talk about times that we as women have felt confused, rejected, or both -- as well as times we felt lit up, radiant, desired, and HOT for the men in our lives!---Work with usWant to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good. If you're looking for high-quality relationship advice, we've got it.To see if there's a fit for our fla

Have you ever just felt STUCK? Stuck in your dating life, stuck in your marriage, stuck in your sex life (or stuck in your sex life within your marriage)? As one man on our panel put it, "I felt stuck for most of the 20 years of my marriage."Maybe you've felt trapped -- like you just couldn't work your way out of wherever you were.Here, four men get real about their journey going from totally stuck to in flow.Work with usWant to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good. If you're looking for high-quality relationship advice, we've got it.To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)---Memorable quotes from this episode:"Women are starving for men who are doing the work.""I felt broken; I felt unworthy; I felt unacceptable; I felt unwanted.""Sex felt

When I ask my male friends, "Do you trust men?" most of them say, pretty unequivocally, "No."Why does this matter?A lot of our clients come to us because they want to improve their dynamics with women. Whether they're single and dating or partnered and seeking more sex, intimacy, closeness, or harmony with their woman, there's a lot of focus on women.So what does a man's relationship to men have to do with it? Why does it matter to know whether you trust men, if you're working on healthy relationships and sex with women?For one, as Jason puts it: "As a man, if you have never experienced healthy masculine energy on the outside, it is almost certain you will have a hard time trusting it inside yourself, too."And if you don't trust your own inner masculine, it will be very challenging for you to generate sexual polarity, set boundaries, or go after the things you want (including women and intimacy).The thing is, most men don't trust men because a lot of men aren

Want to generate sexual heat, and also inspire safety and a sense of belonging in your partner? Learn how to claim her!We've talked about claiming before on the podcast, especially with respect to building polarity. When a man is on the more passive side, it can feel lackluster and also confusing. As one woman put it, "Do you even want me?" This throws off polarity.When he knows how to take inspired action and lead by claiming us, we want to see him more! We feel the polarity. And because of that we feel more relaxed, uplifted, and yes, you guessed it: turned on!Here we delve more into what it means to us to feel claimed in sex, dating, and relationships -- and why we adore it.Work with usWant to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good. If you're looking for high-quality relationship advice, we've got it.To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars o

When Wayne Forrest was 25 years old, he was a strong, rugby-playing farmer who was married with two twin babies.Then he had an accident on the rugby field and broke his neck. A doctor said he would never walk again. His wife wouldn't touch him anymore. And he thought, "How the hell am I going to survive this?"What follows is his story, which touches on everything from love, sex, and dating, to dependence, interdependence, and the power of the human spirit. As Wayne puts it, the Inner Warrior is the most important element of our lives, yet we rarely have a strong relationship with it.What does it mean to be a modern warrior? How to we re-envision manhood, masculinity, and power? I believe the answers lie in discussions like these.---Work with usWant to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good. If you're looking for high-quality relationship advice, we've got it.To see

What does it mean to be a good husband?Many men we work with were trained to take care of everyone else before themselves. They often feel burnt out, and like they don't get nearly as much back as they give.If you've ever felt like you've tried everything you can to make your woman happy, but this only results in both of you being miserable ... you might be able to relate.Or perhaps you've lived some version of, "No matter how hard I try to please her -- how much I do -- it's never enough."Here, we talk about why this is. If he's bending over backwards to do what he thinks she wants, why doesn't it work?The answer lies in part with polarity, in part with childhood trauma (because of course), and in part with the fallacies of being a lone wolf.Related questions we cover:What does it mean to be a provider in modern times? (Hint: It's got nothing to do with money)How does this pattern impact sexual polarity?If it's not about sacrifice, then what does it actually mean t

If you've ever been with an emotionally volatile partner or perhaps suspected that you yourself might be emotionally volatile, you hopefully already know about Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). (And if you haven't, we have lots of episodes on the subject!)Here, we talk to a therapist whose clientele is largely comprised of those contending with BPD. What's it like to be a therapist who works with clients with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)? What are some of the big challenges and greatest rewards?"Can BPD be treated?" "Is it possible to recover from BPD?" "How does therapy work when it comes to BPD?" are a few common questions -- all of which we address.---Work with usWant to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good. If you're looking for high-quality relationship advice, we've got it.To see if there's a fit for our flagship pr

Ever wanted to be a fly on the wall while women talked about their dating stories? Ever wondered what the men who have women feel both safe and turned on have in common?Here, four of us women discuss a specific skill that men have shown that has us feel taken care of and turned on. It boosts polarity like crazy, and it's relevant whether or not you're dating casually or you're in a committed, long-term relationship.What's extra intriguing is that while this is a relatively easy skill to master, it's not one that a lot of men know about. (We can guarantee that because it's pretty rare in the dating world!)If you want to be able to lead women in such a way that has them feel special, lit up, and excited to see you ... listen on.Bonus? When a woman feels safe and turned on, she's far more likely to fall in love.---Work with usWant to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love li

Does a part of you ever feel like just giving up? It's too much, it's too heavy, it's too complicated, it's too hard. Or has it ever felt like, "What's the point?"The truth is, we all have points in our lives when we feel overwhelmed. This can also show up in the, "Here I am again… I’m in the SAME SPOT. I always circle back to this.'"If you're single, perhaps it's: "Nothing's working in dating." If you're partnered, it could be: "I'm trying and trying, but nothing’s working to get us reconnected."Or as Jason says, "In my relationship, it would be anytime that I would get activated into feeling like I’m not enough."Here we go into what's happening on a physiological level when this part is showing up for you -- the two poles. These are dorsal shutdown — disassociation/sleepy/collapsed/yawning; and sympathetic overdrive — hyper/activated/manic/wired/anger.We talk about how to recognize these states, and what to do it when yo