Battlecast Presented By Meltdown Comics

**FIRST OFF DISCLAIMER** Still working out kinks in the new studio and despite recording on two separate devices, the audio was still all jacked because we're dumb. So the quality of this episode is pretty shoddy. Well all of them are but this one particularly. Annnnnyway- this week Andy and Dan both wuss out and call in pinch-battlers, but neither of them know who is battling for them until the end in a new-style-no-bias-battle. It's Gumby (Dirk) vs. Lego Batman (Cryin' Bitch aka Ryan Kidd) fighting in the Miiverse. Fresh and full of Battlecast.Warning: Foxes and racecars.Dan 1-2, Andy 2-1, James 2-2

C'mon boys n girls! It's Candyland!! That's where we're dukin' it out today. Dirk's been playing a whole bunch of Starcraft II: Legacy of the Void recently so he picks Artanis (Dirk), and Dan's been smoking a whole bunch of Cigarettes: Legacy of the Lungs recently so he picks Joe Camel (Dan). We do the whole thing in a particularly long board game themed battle in good ol' Candyland. Or as Andy likes to call it... Andyland. Eat a Battlecast. You're not you when you're hungry.Warning: Romance and such.Dan 0-2, Andy 2-1, James 2-1

We're lovin' it! 29 cent cheeseburger day at McDonalds that is. Does that still exist? No? Well Battlecast does, and this week it's robotic police cop, Robocop (Andy) vs. a big buff bald car guy from The Fast and the Furious, Dominic Toretto. We fight in a McDonalds Play Place. Now does all the cheeseburger talk make sense? You gotta wrap it before you Battlecast it.Warning: DAN DOESN'T HAVE STDs HE SWEARSDan 0-2, Andy 1-1, James 2-0

We're back from being total lazy piles and not being good at releasing consistent episodes! Dan's back in town, James quit his meth habit cold turkey, Andy's period finally came (oh god what a nail biter), and Dirk's government tell-all book is finally finished. THIS WEEK: Ren and Stimpy's favorite breakfast cereal and superhero combo, Powdered Toast Man (Dan) vs. Patrick Warburton's greatest role, The Tick (Andy) all fighting at the high school from Grease. Yay! Don't get mad, get Battlecast.Warning: Who the F knows the Grase soundtrack I mean come on.Dan 0-1, Andy 0-1, James 2-0

In this best ever episode of Battlecast Dan's not here. He's on some flavor of vacation which means we all get a bit of peace and quiet. Also, we get extra characters to use against him regardless if we win or lose. Florida Man, famous for his hilarious antics and alligator related incidents faces off the fearless Judge, not actual judge, Judy.   Rate us on iTunes, follow us on the social medei, listen to Battlecast, James is sorry we didn't put out an episode last week.  

This episode was inspired by the Paula Abdul song, Opposites Attract. It's old, white, pony-tail sporting ubernerd, and inventor of Dungeons and Dragons, Gary Gygax (Dirk for Dan) vs not old, not white, gangster rapping, Compton residing badass, Ice Cube (James). We fight in a Tardis because why not.Never wear black without the Battlecast.Warning: Andy being Andy.Fresh new season with fresh new records!: Dan 0-0, Andy 0-1, James 1-0

Season 9 of Battlecast! The 9th of our arbitrary season system! Isn't that exciting? You know what don't answer that. We're joined by guests Ryan Kidd (Jarngis) and Elijah Elliot (makes really bomb cold brew coffee- check out Red Hat Coffee on the web, fb, etc.), and somehow we keep the conversation relatively clean. Hmph. Today's battle is between Hawtpocketz, a Warlock Guardian from Destiny (James) and actor and all-around heart-throb Benecio del Toro (Elijah for Andy). Elijah brough us coffee so the wheel of destiny picked Starbucks as the battleground.The best part of waking up is Battlecast in your cup.Warning: Real-life advice that may actually be meaningful or something ew.Fresh new season with fresh new records!: Dan 0-0, Andy 0-0, James 0-0

It's after season 8 and not quite season 9 so you know what that means. A SPECIAL EDITION THEMED EPISODE WOOO. We've never done a 2v2 battle before so we give that a shot today. On the heels of the news that Matt Groening just signed a deal to do a new show on Netflix, we go Simpsons vs. Futurama. Friend of the show Ryan Kidd (aka Jarngis and every other NPC from our Side Quest episode) judicates and it's Hank Scorpio (Andy) and Fat Tony (Dirk) vs. Don Bot (Dan) and Bender (James). Bots vs. Boys. Dudes vs. Dudemotrons. Metaloids vs. Skinaloids. Ermm. You're banned from the Battlecast. You and your children and your children's children... for three months. Warning: I'm gonna go catch a bate.  

First off, thank you guys infinitely for listening to 100 episodes of Battlecast. We're super grateful for you guys, and we'll keep doing the show as long as we have folks like you tuning in. So for our 100th episode we're doing something a little different and a little special. We're going on a side quest campaign D&D style with a few characters of our choosing. We seek the Draft of the Eldar, an ancient brew rumored to quench one's thirst for eternity. Will we find this legendary brew? Who knows. Our cast for this week is the Elite Tauren Chieftan himself, E.T.C. (Dan), eastern european car theif from GTA 4, Nico Bellic (James), and one of Alan Rickman's finest portrayals Severus Snape (Andy). Don't put Battlecasts on your pizza. Warning: Boss battles are hard.

The exciting finale of Season 8 is here! Andy and James go head to head for the championship while Dan sits in the room and pretends he has a chance with his one character. Andy's force-heavy stacked team of four is Ezra, Mulder and Scully, Kylo Ren, and Leonardo di Vinci. James is rocking another kick ass team with Darth Maul, Lara Croft, The Phantom, and Roland Deschain. Dan has Venom. As always, the Battle Royale revisits all the battlegrounds we've used throughout the season in one edge-of-your-skeet spectacular. Battlecast, the other white podcast. Warning: Dan fell in love with a Tijuana stripper.   Dan 1-5, Andy 4-2, James 4-2, Dirk 0-8

Ok, two things. First off... SPOILER ALERT HARRRRRD FOR STAR WARS EP. 7. Second thing. MERRRRRY CHRISTMAS!!1 Cool. It's the last regular season Battle of the season (wut) before we get to the Battle Royale so let's make it count. It's the anonymous bad guy from the new Star Wars movie, Kylo Ren (Andy), vs. the supernonymous rapping Shaq genie from one of the worst things of the 90s, Kazaam (Dan). And duh, it's in Santa's Workshop. Dope. Battlecasts roasting on an open lightsaber. Warning: All the spoilers that exists.   Also I realized that I stopped posting the weekly record of wins-losses on accident so here:   Dan 1-4, Andy 3-2, James 4-2, Dirk 0-8

We noticed we had been way too topical with our character and battleground choices as of late so we decided to do things that are completely irrelevant to anything going on in pop culture right now. It's Hyrule's Female-Identifying Male Link (Dan)... or vice versa...  going head to head with the main dude in Stephen King's Dark Tower series Roland Deschain, The Gunslinger (James). Sudden Valley is the Bluth family development of astoundingly poorly build homes if you didn't follow.It's raining Battlecasts. Hallelujah. Warning: Sounds.

It is a period of civil Battlecast.Andy's Rebel spacedicks have wonmany victories against James andthe evil Galactic Empire.Today marks the final showdown between two Sith titans. Dark Maul (James), a Zabrak from Dathomir will face off against one of the most powerful and hilariously controversial Lords of the Dark Side, Jar Jar Binks (Andy)Let's join the two in the famed Mos Eisley Cantina and see how it all unfolds on today's episode of Battlecast. Warning: awkward quiet love-making

Welcome back to Battlecast friend of the show, Ryan Kidd along with BC newcomer (and Dan's bandmate in Gravyyard) Joe Mousey. Today's battle takes place in the much beloved classic American Gladiators arena. The combatants are the also much beloved Peter Dinklage (Dirk for Dan) and much unknown Ezra (Ryan for Andy), a padawan from Star Wars Rebels. Apparently it's a pretty good show. Most of us still need convincing.How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Battlecast?Warning: Music.

Allllllll aboard the Starship Enterprise! That's the Star Trek themed battleground in today's extra girthy episode of Battlecast. We'll be duking it out in space with two sort-of aliens. It's the biggest, baddest, smartest Pokemon around, Mewtwo (James) vs. the tongue waggingest, alienest, Spider-Man counteringest villain out there, Venom (Dan). Pretty legit, huh?TIL (today i learned) The L in Samuel L. Jackson stands for Battlecast.Warning: Tijuana, Mexicast

STATUS UPDATE: How are we doing on our anti-grosscast challenge? Astoundingly well. You know what one of the dankiesest movies ever is? Forrest Fucking Gump. So let's hope the wheel landed on it this week as our battleground. It did. Today's combatants are the Tomb Raider herself, Lara Croft (James) vs. a hypothetical main character from any of the Fallout games, A Vault Dweller (Dirk for Andy). Lucy in the Sky with Battlecast. Warning: Tom Raider

Dun dunun dun nunnnnnn... It's Faaaaaamily Feudcast. Once in a while we do awesome gameshow style episodes that you guys looooooooove.Who better to be contestants on Family Fued than the jerkwad that's always tryna kill Bart Simpson, Sideshow Bob (Dan) vs. renaissance era painter, sculptor, inventor, and etc. Leonardo da Vinci (Andy). It's rad.Battlecast a gong. Battlecast it on.Warning: LOUIEEE ANDERTHNNN!!!11

ANNOUNCEMENT!! We have put a three week ban on all grossness after last week's horribly disturbing episode full of things you'd never want your mom to hear. Today's battle is between a real fast guy and a real purple guy. It's The Flash (Dan) from the pretty damn decent CW show vs. The Phantom (Dirk for James) featuring Billy Zane aka the bad guy from Titanic. It allllll goes down in our hometown of San Diego. It puts the Battlecast on the skin or else it gets the hose again. Warning: "No James so it's going to be shitty." -James

Welcome to Grosscast! The grossest podcast in alllllll the world. Featuring Andy the Gland Boyd, Dirk "I-Just-Pooped Smirk" Stenger, James "I-Just-Came" Pugh, and Dan Brozo. If you really thought you couldn't listen to Battlecast at work before..... Anyway- today's battle is in the ol' Halloween spirit being judicated by Dan in Nightmare Before Christmas. It's Arrow (James) of CW and maybe DC Comics vs. Mulder and Scully (Andy) the original paranormal activity-ers from X-Files. Making Battlecast, la-la-la la-la. Warning: So gross.

It's like nothin' you ever heard before! It's the Battlecast Happy Hour! Basically all that means is that we got drunk and recorded an episode of just banter. We get the real scoop on paying for HJs, saving people's lives with the heimlich, and of course, bidets. Warning: Dan will open your face.