Dump Stats

Last time on Dump Stats, after finally making it safely to New Gampshire, the Bad Humanoids realize that something isn't quite right at Gampstead Heath. Nero's chilhood home is abandoned, except for his aging butler Turt Brocket (I know, just let it go). While Turt is a welcome sight, Nero's family is nowhere to be found... As if this weren't frightening enough, Nero experiences visions of dead friends and family, all giving him cryptic warnings and vague threats. There's something rotten in New Gampshire, and the Bad Humanoids are on the case! Welcome to Season 3!    

Tonight on the first ever talk show about our own show hosted by NOT Chris Hardwick. It's Talking Dumps! Listen as the Bad Humanoids talk about the highs and lows of seasons 1 and 2 and catch everyone up on the goings on in the world of Dump Stats! Thanks to all our devoted listeners who are literally keeping this show alive! Also, this was our first remote Skype recording so it may sound slightly off, but it's certainly not our worst! Season 3 starting sooooooooooooon!

Tonight on Dump Stats... It's a gag reel! A compilation of all the nonsense and bits that were just too dumb or distracting to fit into the main episodes. Considering all the dumb stuff we allow into our episodes, be prepared for some INCREDIBLY nonsensical shenanigans in this gag reel! Also, GET READY TO DANCE!  Also, also, Season 3 recording is already underway, so get AMPed for the Season 3 premiere coming sooner than you think!

Tonight on Dump Stats! After burying their companion and guide, Eldeth, the Bad Humanoids mourn in the only way they know how...BOAT PROM! During this pre-battle, post-funeral, Dwarven Wake of sorts, the Bad Humanoids have a magical night under the stars.  The next morning, they take flight in the Drake's Sigh with a heading toward New Gampshire, to reclaim Nero's seat family home. Along the way, the gang shares secrets, makes plans, and gets into general Bad Humanoid-esque hijinx! What will be waiting for them at Gampstead Heath? And who? Will their plan succeed? Do they have a plan?  Find out on the season 2 finale of Dump Stats! Keep listening and check out all our episodes! Like subscribe and leave a review on iTunes and PodBean! https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/dump-stats/id1223831596?mt=2

Tonight on Dump Stats... The Bad Humanoids bury their companion Eldeth, their traitor AceBuzz, and their feelings with alcohol and song. Its a pretty heavy episode. Get ready dawgs. Nero investigates Stellan's old book. Nathaniel and Sneak discuss their family history, Jurm reminds the crew that he's cool and the Bad Humanoids make a plan, a real plan this time, guys!  Keep istening and check out all our episodes! Like subscribe and leave a review on iTunes and PodBean! https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/dump-stats/id1223831596?mt=2  

Tonight on Dump Stats! We got a dead body over here! With the hunt for the traitor among the Bad Humanoids over, a new hunt begins: the hunt for the person who KILLED the traitor! It never ends! With Mordecurr's true nature revealed, the Bad Humanoids have their work cut out for them.  Nero learns a new spell, Nathaniel broods, and Jurm and Gugnir share a pint (barrel) of Royal Ale.  Out of game, some of our wonderful listeners say their farewells to Mike as he whisks himself away to the mountains.  We love you all very much! Keep listening! We need your love and attention! Like subscribe and leave a review on iTunes and PodBean! https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/dump-stats/id1223831596?mt=2

Tonight on Dump Stats... The battle is over. The Bad Humanoids are victorious...but at what cost? Eldeth Smashington has perished, AceBuzz is arrested for treason, and the Christopher's Cross has been lost to Hambone's Pocket (this universe's equivalent of Davy Jones' Locker (it sunk)). The Bad Humanoids get comfortable on their new ship, captured Royal Navy Destroyer Alfonso V, and begin their interrogation of AceBuzz. AceBuzz claims "the Devil made me do it" and blames his traitorous actions on Jeff of Wizard House, who is known to have the power to control the wills of others. Could it be true? Or will he say anything to escape justice? Ace claims that he is haunted by visions of Jeff, and has no memory of his deception. He claims Jeff is in the very same room right now, even though he has been presumed dead for some time...now who does that remind you of? Meanwhile, Mordecurr rots in the brig, awaiting her own interrogation. Who is she? Where the heck is her heart? Thats not a metaphor, she literally

Tonight on Dump Stats... The gripping conclusion to the epic Sleepless In Sea Battle series. After being betrayed by one of their own, the Bad Humanoids are nearly hanged by Royal Officer Mordecurr, a very serious individual. Now, after narrowly escaping the gallows, and learning some secrets about their parents, the Bad Humanoids are set upon at sea by FOUR Royal Navy ships. Jurm does his best to trade cannonfire and keep the Christopher's Cross afloat, while Nathaniel and Dash attempt to board a ship by themselves, only to be trapped in a battle of wits with the enemy ship's cannon crew. Meanwhile, Nero has teleported himself, AceBuzz, Gugnir and Eldeth aboard a Royal Navy Destroyer, and has disabled the crew with magical Black Tentacles. Just when the ship seemed taken, Mordecurr herself appears from below deck, executes her own captain for incompetence, and is immediately set upon by Nero's magical Mad Monkeys... Strap in, folks, these seas are about to get a little choppy on this episode of Dump Stat

Tonight on Dump Stats... The battle begins!  After barely navigating the Christopher's Cross through a sudden storm, the ship is attacked by cannon fire! Nathaniel and Nero teleport to the bridge after making a shocking discovery about their families, specifically, Nate's mother. But, its all in vain if they don't survive the battle. With their allies all the way back in Arkalia, can the Bad Humanoids survive this battle at sea? Find out tonight on Dump Stats! All sound effects are courtesy of SoundBible.com and looperman.com! Check them out for royalty free sound effects! Sound effect credits to: Daniel Simion, Mike Koenig and Mark DiAngelo!  

Tonight on Dump Stats... The Christopher's Cross is set upon by a sudden storm at sea as the hunt for the traitor continues! Jurm attempts to steer the ship through a deadly storm, while Nero has a out of body experience. Nathaniel confronts AceBuzz and Dash about their meddling with Nero. And Nero and Nathaniel trade some very important pieces of information! All this and more on the explosive first act of Sleepless in Sea Battle!  Only on Dump Stats! All sound effects are courtesy of SoundBible.com! Check them out for royalty free sound effects! Sound effect credits to: Daniel Simion, Mike Koenig and Mark DiAngelo!  

Tonight on Dump Stats... After narrowly escaping execution on Sol Dominica, the Bad Humanoids set sail as fugitives once again. Accusations fly as Nathanial, Jurm, Nero, Dash and Eldeth all hunt for the traitor in their crew. Jurm an Nathaniel team up to interrogate crew members, while Dash and Nero butt heads over his deadly new heart-bursting spell Fatal Forfeiture. Someone has their hand in the proverbial cookie jar, and they might not get it back...

Tonight on Dump Stats... Nathaniel, Dash and Eldeth race towards the gallows as Jurm faces down his executioner. Meanwhile, Nero works his way through the crowd and plots his own rescue attempt, all while being plagued by visions of dead men. Jurm rages and laments the loss of his favorite tusk. Nathaniel practices his musketeering skills, and Nero tries out his new spell.  The Bad Humanoids are in a big pickle, and they still don't know who betrayed them, but one thing they all agree on...snitches get stitches.

Tonight on Dump Stats... The Bad Humanoids begin their long walk to the gallows, as Nero scrambles to plan an escape. With no news of the rest of the crew, Jurm, Nate, Dash and Eldeth are on their own. Also, Nero tries out a new spell, while Jurm works on his crowd work.  Also, Bob, Mike, Rob and John improvise a Tom Waits song! All this and more on this episode of Dump Stats!

Tonight on Dump Stats...It's a Trap! Well, it was a trap! The Bad Humanoids were ambushed by Royal Guards as they made port in Sol Dominica. Nathaniel, Dash, Eldeth and Jurm are sitting in a cell, while Nero made a hasty escape by casting Invisibility. His magic use may have backfired, though, as he was once again knocked unconscious and whisked away to the Purple World. Can Nero wake up in time to save the day? What secrets will he learn in his cosmic travels? Can the rest of the Bad Humanoids escape their captivity? Who is the mole in the Christopher's Cross Crew? All these questions, and even more on this episode of Dump Stats!  

Tonight on Dump Stats! The Christopher's Cross sails for Sol Dominica, an island of merchants on the way to Candera. As the Bad Humanoids stop here to resupply, the Drake's Sigh and the Old Crone head back to Arkalia, to find the missing crewmate, Georgie.  Nathanial and Dash go undercover. Jurm starts a fight, and Nero goes to the bathroom! Nathaniel gets a letter from his mother, and Gugnir stays in the bullpen. The Bad Humanoids meet another Governor! All this and more on tonights episode of Dump Stats!  

Tonight on Dump Stats... Nero makes a splash at the Captain's Meeting, and defends his decision to meddle with the gods. Nathaniel and Dash keep a secret from Jurm and the other captains, and also share a tender (awkward) moment.  Jurm and Nero have a private conversation, and later Nathaniel prays to nothing. Acebuzz and Nero also talk about Jeff. There is a lot of talking in this one! The Bad Humanoids go on an Exposition! Get it? Its a play on "expedition." More conversation! We should call this Conversation Stats, am I right? Or Talking Dumps! Thanks for listening everyone!  

Tonight on Dump Stats... Nero is the prime suspect in the murder of a crew member aboard the Christopher's Cross. Apparently, the gods don't like being called upon by drug dealing, halfling, burned out wizard pirates. Who'd have thunk? Nathaniel and Dash spend some quality time together, while the Captains Crowley have an awkward family reunion. With a Captain's Meeting drawing near, the Bad Humanoids are in quite a conundrum! Are they loyal to the crew? To Nero? Or no one but themselves? Also, what the hell happened to Georgie!  Find out tonight on Dump Stats! Happy Father's Day to all you Dad Humanoids out there!

Tonight, on Dump Stats... After a dead body is found on the Christopher's Cross, the Bad Humanoids investigate, and Nero becomes a prime suspect. His defense? A god did it.  Nero's cosmic meddling may be more trouble than it's worth...but at least Jurm gets to do his best Law & Order bits on this brand new episode of...Dump Stats!

Tonight on Dump Stats... The crew of the Christopher's Cross has a rough day at sea. Nero's recent chat with Voska may be coming back to bite the Bad Humanoids in the ass. Nathaniel takes a look through his mother's old journal, and has a supernatural experience of his own.  Meanwhile, Jurm sets a course for a nearby port, planning to regroup and resupply. But with the way things are going lately, the ship and its crew might not make the journey in one piece. One thing is certain...the Bad Humanoids are not alone...

Tonight on Dump Stats...Happy Memorial Day!  The Christopher's Cross is heading to New Gampshire, and the Bad Humanoids are doing their best to keep it together. Jurm is nursed back to health by an increasingly drunken Eldeth Smashington, Nathaniel recieves correspondence from his estranged mother, and Nero makes a very long distance call.  With their rebellion in dire straits, the gang heads for New Gampshire with hopes of assistance from Nero's noble family. Nathanial learns more about Voska, Valía and his own family...and Jurm learns that getting in bar fiights with Half-Giants has consequences... Will the Christopher's Cross reach safe harbor? Will Nero's curiosity cause problems for the crew? Will Nathaniel and Dash ever be a thing? Who knows? Find out on this episode of Dump Stats!