Life Over Coffee With Rick Thomas

Mable is a perfectionist driven by an anxious need to be right. She holds herself and others to impossible standards, striving to present a carefully edited image she believes will earn acceptance, significance, and admiration. Mable’s fear of being wrong fuels a pattern of self-righteous criticism, blame-shifting, and rationalization. These behaviors help her deflect attention from her shortcomings and maintain control over how others perceive her. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-she-has-an-anxious-need-to-be-right/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – In this episode, Rick Thomas talks with Pastor Joby Martin about his book Stand Firm and Act Like Men and the urgent need for Biblical masculinity in today’s culture. Far from cultural stereotypes of passivity or toxic aggression, Joby explains how Scripture calls men to live as providers, protectors, prophets, priests, and servant kings—all under the lordship of Christ. Together, Rick and Joby unpack the traps that ensnare men—pride, anxiety, laziness, isolation, and lust—and the crucial role of accountability through what Joby calls “mat carriers.” They also address how women can encourage rather than correct, why technology is one of the greatest threats to family life, and how the Church must avoid softening or distorting masculinity. This conversation calls men to bend the knee to Jesus before they can stand firm in strength and love. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-559-joby-martin-stand-firm-and-act-like-men/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for e

Biff and Mable have been married for 17 years, but their covenant relationship has been fraught with challenges for much of that time. They have two teenage sons who are nearing adulthood, and the prospect of an empty nest leaves Mable filled with dread. As she considers her future, she realizes she knows very little about Biff, and what she does know discourages her. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/are-you-certified/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Mable is consumed with her appearance, weight, and food choices. She frequently fasts, not out of a heartfelt desire to glorify God with her body or soul, but as a means to control her image and find approval. Contradictions mark her conversations—she often projects self-righteousness in her discipline yet also reveals deep insecurity through her comparisons to others. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-when-thin-is-in/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – An anxious heart is not merely a soul issue to manage, but a discipleship opportunity to shepherd the heart—guiding our children (and ourselves) to trust in the steadfast love of God rather than the shifting sands of circumstance. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-558-giving-hope-to-anxious-hearts/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Biff is an angry man whose temper has caused significant issues in his marriage. Two weeks ago, Mable gave him an ultimatum: seek help or face the end of their marriage. In response, Biff reluctantly attended church with Mable last Sunday—the first time in over 11 years. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-when-prayer-kills-a-church/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Mable presented herself as an ideal counselee: open, honest, and seemingly eager for change. In your first session, she shared her struggles with remarkable transparency, leaving no detail uncovered. Her vulnerability moved you, and her apparent willingness to receive correction quickly filled you with hope for genuine transformation. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-counseling-the-un-counsel-able/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Mable picked up the phone and started calling people at random. Somehow, she ended up with your number. Mable confessed she didn’t know why she was calling you but felt an inexplicable urge to do so. She began to share her sordid story: she was at the end of a complicated and frustrating life and felt hopeless. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-suicide/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Mable has struggled with insecurity her entire life. Her earliest memories involve her parents' consistent displeasure with her, valuing her outward appearance in social contexts over her well-being. This fear-driven parenting model shaped Mable's need to prove herself and escape the feelings of inadequacy instilled by her parents. After you toss in Adamic shame, it was a crippling double-whammy. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-nagging-wife/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Legalism is a complex subject. It stirs passionate responses from many Christians. If you’re in a legalistic culture, it’s hard to get out. If you did come out of it, it’s typical to overreact by going to anti-rule excesses. What began as an honest desire to follow God often morphs into a joyless, graceless, exhausting attempt to perform. Gospel-centered living is not ruleless living; it’s freedom rooted in love and wisdom. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/legalism-is-a-fear-based-culture-that-leads-to-a-complex-life/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/

Mable, at 28, was single and deeply desired marriage. She had a degree, a great job, and a seemingly full life, but she felt an emptiness that she attributed to her singleness. Marriage, in her mind, was the next milestone she longed to achieve. You might say that Mable was the epitome of a goal-oriented lady. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/exchanging-prisons-from-singleness-to-marriage/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Biffina is 18 years old, the oldest of four children in a close-knit Christian family. Her parents, Biff and Mable, have consistently taught their children God’s Word and modeled it faithfully. The children have embraced their parents’ teaching, and no significant issues have arisen within the family. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/to-date-or-not-to-date/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Pursuing holiness is not legalism. Living as a committed, obedient, and disciplined follower of Christ does not mean one is trapped in legalism. When something harmful or wrong occurs—especially something as destructive as legalism—the appropriate response is not to swing the pendulum in the opposite direction. An overreaction to a bad thing often creates an equally bad thing. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-benefits-of-legalism/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/

Shows Main Idea – Dying to self is the most painful and ongoing task the Christian will ever face. It’s not a single moment of surrender at the altar or a tear-filled confession at a retreat—it is a continual, lifelong submission to the will of God. It is the daily call to lay down our rights, our self-reliance, our perceived strength, and our functional savior of autonomy. But there is good news: God does not leave us to accomplish this death alone. He is actively, patiently, and purposefully working in the background of our lives, undermining every form of self-sufficiency so that we might trust Him more deeply. In His mercy, He systematically dismantles our illusion of control and replaces it with the deeper reality of dependence on Christ. Yes, this means that at times, the Lord will sabotage our self-reliance. He will put to death the idol of self-salvation. Why? So that we might learn to rely not on ourselves, but on God who raises the dead (2 Corinthians 1:9). That’s the heart of gospel transformation:

Mable is a highly successful woman who has achieved much in her career and personal life. She is married to Biff, and together, they share a strong faith and a stable marriage. However, despite her many accomplishments, Mable struggles with persistent procrastination, particularly when it comes to tasks that require personal discipline or have less accountability. This recurring problem has caused tension in her marriage and added stress to her daily life. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/procrastination/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

As we conclude this series, we will focus on the most crucial aspect of your life—the one thing that should shape every decision, every action, and every relationship. The question is simple and yet it is profound: What is your ultimate motive for all you do in life? Perhaps you could think of it as a mission statement. Listen to the great apostle. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-31-teen-devotion-whatever/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – In this episode, I’m diving into something that’s quietly shaping our thoughts, our relationships, and even our sanctification—the digital world. Whether we recognize it or not, the cyber world is forming us. It’s not just neutral content floating in cyberspace; it’s a cultural pull, competing for our hearts, time, and devotion. I’m going to explore this cyber effect, not as a secular psychology study, but as a biblical framework for evaluating the impact of technology on the soul. I’ll walk through nine specific effects—from the way devices impact real-life relationships, to how social media shapes identity, to the slow drift away from the local church. This episode isn’t about throwing away your phone or deleting every app. It’s about re-centering your heart on Christ, so you’re not swept along by the current of online culture. Psalm 19 tells us that God’s Word restores the soul and makes the simple wise. That’s our aim. Let’s bring God’s Word to bear on cyberspace so that we can love God

Let’s uncover and discover one of the most powerful tools God has given you for growth: repentance. The typical Christian understands repentance as something that happens at salvation, but its role in sanctification—your ongoing transformation—is often overlooked. The Christian life is repentance at salvation and ongoing repenting in our progressive sanctification. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-30-teen-devotion-secret-weapon/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

I want to re-evaluate a prior devotion and rethink the cultural message of self-esteem. While the world tells you to focus on yourself to find freedom, the Bible teaches a counterintuitive truth: the path to freedom is found in thinking less about yourself and more about God and others. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/day-29-teen-devotion-self-esteem/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – Forgiveness is not a sentimental release of offense; it’s a Christ-exalting act of worship. In this episode, I will unpack why biblical forgiveness is essential for the church, for families, and for the good of your own soul. Drawing from the gospel model, I’ll explore the difference between attitudinal and transactional forgiveness, examine common misconceptions that blur the process, and explain how rightly practiced forgiveness protects unity and glorifies God. If you’ve ever struggled to know how to forgive—especially when the offender won’t repent—this episode will give you a clear, gospel-shaped roadmap. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-554-why-we-must-forgive-and-how-to-do-it/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.