Life Over Coffee With Rick Thomas

Mable has left Biff after 24 years of marriage, citing patterns of ongoing anger, four episodes of physical abuse, mental manipulation, devaluing behavior, and public embarrassment in front of their five children. She also pointed to Biff’s unwillingness to seek help as evidence of his lack of desire to change. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-what-about-biff/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Main Idea – In this episode, we’re taking an honest look at a subtle but serious drift in how biblical counseling is sometimes applied—specifically, the quiet replacement of parenting with counseling. What starts with good intentions can easily move into territory that undermines the very structure God put in place for child formation: the home. Together, we’ll explore the differences between counseling and parenting, the limitations of counseling young children, and how counselors can serve families without displacing parents’ authority and responsibility. We’ll also touch on the vital role extended family and mentors play in the lives of teens and how faithfulness, not efficiency, is the metric for change. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-565-when-biblical-counseling-replaces-parenting/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lif

This Thanksgiving is a particularly challenging milestone for Biff—it is his first holiday without his wife and children. Earlier this year, his 17-year marriage to Mable ended after years of mediocrity and unresolved conflict. Mable has custody of their three teenage sons, who blame Biff for the divorce. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-thanks-thanksgiving/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Mable recently discovered that her husband, Biff, has been living in adultery for over five years. The shocking revelation came after she found a bar receipt in his wallet, which led to confrontation, further investigation, and confirmation of the affair. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-the-sinning-victim/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Marriage is hard. That may not sound spiritual, but it’s certainly biblical. From the moment sin entered the garden, marriage has been both a battlefield and a blessing. And if you’ve ever tried to love someone as much as you love yourself, you know the cost. That’s why this book matters. In Marriage or Mayhem?, I offer more than principles—I offer a framework, a theology, and a map. With years of experience counseling couples in crisis and equipping churches to disciple well, I learned a few things about getting beneath the surface. I name the real problems—idolatry, self-centeredness, functional theology—and bring the only real solution: Christ at the center. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/chapter-five-marriage-or-mayhem-reclassified-desires/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/

Sylvia has attended a large church in Galveston, TX, for 14 months but feels disconnected despite her efforts and consistent attendance. She has not developed meaningful relationships and struggles to feel part of the community. Her mother, Mrs. Avery, believes that the church’s size is the problem and has encouraged Sylvia to consider attending a smaller one. However, Sylvia is uncertain whether her difficulty lies in the size of the church or her hesitancy to engage. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/i-cant-connect-with-my-local-church/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Mable, a 59-year-old Christian woman, comes to you for counseling after enduring decades of profound suffering. Ten years ago, her second son was murdered by his wife, who shot him five times. Despite the brutality of the crime, the wife received only 300 hours of community service. Adding to the anguish are the lies during the trial, and a life insurance payout to the wife’s daughter—from a previous marriage—deepened her sense of injustice and betrayal. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/she-buried-her-son-10-years-ago/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Marriage is hard. That may not sound spiritual, but it’s certainly biblical. From the moment sin entered the garden, marriage has been both a battlefield and a blessing. And if you’ve ever tried to love someone as much as you love yourself, you know the cost. That’s why this book matters. In Marriage or Mayhem?, I offer more than principles—I offer a framework, a theology, and a map. With years of experience counseling couples in crisis and equipping churches to disciple well, I learned a few things about getting beneath the surface. I name the real problems—idolatry, self-centeredness, functional theology—and bring the only real solution: Christ at the center. Read, Watch, Listen: lifeovercoffee.com/chapter-four-ma…-for-suffering/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here lifeovercoffee.com/donate/

Biff, a newlywed and a member of your church, comes to you for counseling. His wife, Mable, comes from a family with deep roots in the local church. She grew up attending Christian schools and is now a teacher at the church school. Their relationship was well-known and celebrated within the church community. After two years of courtship, the congregation rejoiced when Biff and Mable announced their engagement and subsequent marriage. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/past-sex-thoughts-in-current-marriage-2/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Mable, a 25-year-old solid Christian, comes from a strong Christian family and is active in her gospel-centered church. She has recently entered a relationship with Biff, a 29-year-old Christian who has been divorced for three years. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-mable-marries-the-divorced-guy/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Marriage is hard. That may not sound spiritual, but it’s certainly biblical. From the moment sin entered the garden, marriage has been both a battlefield and a blessing. And if you’ve ever tried to love someone as much as you love yourself, you know the cost. That’s why this book matters. In Marriage or Mayhem?, I offer more than principles—I offer a framework, a theology, and a map. With years of experience counseling couples in crisis and equipping churches to disciple well, I learned a few things about getting beneath the surface. I name the real problems—idolatry, self-centeredness, functional theology—and bring the only real solution: Christ at the center. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/chapter-three-marriage-or-mayhem-meaning-and-significance/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/

Biff is a popular ministry leader whose love for his work has overshadowed his responsibilities in his marriage and with his children. This dualistic life has led to a fractured family and a dissatisfied wife. For years, Biff has lived a dual life—privately struggling with sin and neglecting his family while publicly portraying himself as a Christlike example to his local church. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-unholy-trinity-man-ministry-marriage/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

As a Christian counselor working in a parachurch organization, we often receive referrals from local churches to counsel their members. These referrals sometimes reveal troubling dynamics between the counselees and their churches. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/counselees-and-the-local-church/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Marriage is hard. That may not sound spiritual, but it’s certainly biblical. From the moment sin entered the garden, marriage has been both a battlefield and a blessing. And if you’ve ever tried to love someone as much as you love yourself, you know the cost. That’s why this book matters. In Marriage or Mayhem?, I offer more than principles—I offer a framework, a theology, and a map. With years of experience counseling couples in crisis and equipping churches to disciple well, I learned a few things about getting beneath the surface. I name the real problems—idolatry, self-centeredness, functional theology—and bring the only real solution: Christ at the center. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/chapter-two-marriage-or-mayhem-purposes-for-marriage/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/

Biff’s friend, Bert, is known for being a practical joker. Bert's sense of humor is a strength that has endeared him to many, but like most strengths, it has become his greatest weakness. Bert rarely allows for serious conversations, leaning heavily on verbal sparring through sarcasm and mocking, which always dominates the conversations. Being with Bert is like a competitive event, often putting others down in front of their peers. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-freddie-the-flesh-cutter/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

The news of Biff and Mable’s teenage daughter’s pregnancy sent shockwaves through their local church. In response, the pastors recommended marriage counseling, which you agreed to provide. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-present-but-not-accounted-for/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Biff is seeking counseling after his wife, Mable, discovered inappropriate searches on their home computer. Initially, Biff denied any wrongdoing, claiming ignorance. However, the browser history revealed hundreds of ungodly links, leaving no room for doubt. Since they are the only ones with access to the computer, the responsibility clearly rests on Biff. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-his-confession-was-not-greater-than-what-others-knew/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Mable struggles with deep insecurity masked by self-righteousness. Her desire for perfection and a craving for others’ approval distort her relationships with both God and those closest to her. Her family is well aware of her tendencies but feels unable to address them because Mable is not humble enough to receive feedback about her faults. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-your-high-standards-tempt-me-to-lie/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – Forgiveness often seems impossible when the offense is deep, the pain is fresh, or reconciliation feels unsafe. But biblical forgiveness isn’t about forgetting, excusing, or instantly trusting again. It’s about releasing the debt—just as Christ released ours. In this gospel-centered webinar, Rick Thomas reframes forgiveness as an act of worship, not a concession to the offender, helping us see how freedom begins when we entrust justice to God. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-564-webinar-unforgiveness-and-the-gospel/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Biffina, in her 30s, represents many lonely people who have faced the long-term effects of childhood sexual abuse. Biffina, also like so many others, has interpreted her childhood trauma through a lens of self-condemnation. As a result, she now struggles with identity, relationships, and viewing herself biblically. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-the-abused/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.