Life Over Coffee With Rick Thomas

Mable struggles with the fear of man, often described as people-pleasing or codependency. Her functional theology is performance-driven, centering on earning approval from others rather than resting in Christ’s finished work. This exhausting lifestyle has left her broken and ready for change. While she is a believer, her faith feels more burdensome than joyful. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/poor-counseling-advice-you-need-to-please-god/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

There are instances—far more common than many would admit—when Christianity’s baggage can entrap a person, and they never even realize it. They never make the connection between their lack of consistent joy, their compulsive effort to control how others perceive them, and the longstanding, hidden flaws they’ve learned to manage in secret. These individuals genuinely love God, but the internal experience of their faith often feels more like an oppressive religion than the soul-liberating freedom that Christ promises to those who belong to Him. Mable was this person. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/how-god-delivered-an-entrapped-soul-from-christianitys-baggage/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/

Biff, a 32-year-old aspiring pastor, has anchored his identity in ministry rather than in Christ. His parents have perpetuated this mindset with a two-tier Christian belief system that elevates ministry work above other vocations. This perspective has driven Biff’s pursuit of pastoral leadership, even though his marriage with Mable is fraught with unresolved challenges. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-dont-tell-the-elders-or-ill-lose-my-job/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Biff, a 24-year-old, has cycled through seven jobs in five years and is currently unemployed. His pattern of chasing big plans and get-rich-quick schemes every few months reflects his passion for starting projects but a lack of discipline to see them through. While Biff’s charm and likability have endeared him to many, his growing reputation for being unreliable is causing friends and job opportunities to slip away. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-i-dont-know-what-to-do-with-my-life/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – In this episode, I talk with Molly Bertles—biblical counselor and author of You Are Not Alone: A Biblical and Hopeful Approach to Women Struggling with Masturbation. Molly shares her journey from hidden sin to gospel-centered transformation, offering clarity, compassion, and truth for women trapped in shame and silence. This conversation confronts misplaced worship, identity, and sexual desire with the hope and power of Christ. Watch or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/561-molly-bertles-counsel-for-women-struggling-with-masturbation/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Biff and Mable have sought biblical counseling after transitioning to their new church, following a recommendation from their previous pastor. The pastor noted Biff’s struggle to lead his wife, a concern that became evident during your first session. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-he-cannot-lead-his-wife/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Mable contacted a Christian counselor to address her dissatisfaction with her marriage. During her initial session, she made it clear that she wanted to leave her husband. She rationalized that their marriage had become unfulfilling after seven years, and she longed for the satisfaction and joy she felt when they first met and believed that she deserved it. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-i-want-out-of-this-marriage/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – Question: Our leadership and pastoral staff have identified a need to support those in our midst who experience challenges with living in this world. If you were to launch a local biblical counseling ministry, what training or resources would you recommend? It would be most ideal to have curricula that could be completed in a group setting. Any tips or suggestions are welcome. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-560-nine-tips-for-launching-a-counseling-ministry-at-your-church/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Mable sought counseling with a specific request: under no circumstances should her pastor find out. Her insistence on anonymity is common among Christians today. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-dont-tell-anyone-im-in-counseling/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Mable is a perfectionist driven by an anxious need to be right. She holds herself and others to impossible standards, striving to present a carefully edited image she believes will earn acceptance, significance, and admiration. Mable’s fear of being wrong fuels a pattern of self-righteous criticism, blame-shifting, and rationalization. These behaviors help her deflect attention from her shortcomings and maintain control over how others perceive her. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-she-has-an-anxious-need-to-be-right/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – In this episode, Rick Thomas talks with Pastor Joby Martin about his book Stand Firm and Act Like Men and the urgent need for Biblical masculinity in today’s culture. Far from cultural stereotypes of passivity or toxic aggression, Joby explains how Scripture calls men to live as providers, protectors, prophets, priests, and servant kings—all under the lordship of Christ. Together, Rick and Joby unpack the traps that ensnare men—pride, anxiety, laziness, isolation, and lust—and the crucial role of accountability through what Joby calls “mat carriers.” They also address how women can encourage rather than correct, why technology is one of the greatest threats to family life, and how the Church must avoid softening or distorting masculinity. This conversation calls men to bend the knee to Jesus before they can stand firm in strength and love. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-559-joby-martin-stand-firm-and-act-like-men/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for e

Biff and Mable have been married for 17 years, but their covenant relationship has been fraught with challenges for much of that time. They have two teenage sons who are nearing adulthood, and the prospect of an empty nest leaves Mable filled with dread. As she considers her future, she realizes she knows very little about Biff, and what she does know discourages her. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/are-you-certified/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Mable is consumed with her appearance, weight, and food choices. She frequently fasts, not out of a heartfelt desire to glorify God with her body or soul, but as a means to control her image and find approval. Contradictions mark her conversations—she often projects self-righteousness in her discipline yet also reveals deep insecurity through her comparisons to others. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-when-thin-is-in/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – An anxious heart is not merely a soul issue to manage, but a discipleship opportunity to shepherd the heart—guiding our children (and ourselves) to trust in the steadfast love of God rather than the shifting sands of circumstance. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-558-giving-hope-to-anxious-hearts/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Biff is an angry man whose temper has caused significant issues in his marriage. Two weeks ago, Mable gave him an ultimatum: seek help or face the end of their marriage. In response, Biff reluctantly attended church with Mable last Sunday—the first time in over 11 years. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-when-prayer-kills-a-church/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Mable presented herself as an ideal counselee: open, honest, and seemingly eager for change. In your first session, she shared her struggles with remarkable transparency, leaving no detail uncovered. Her vulnerability moved you, and her apparent willingness to receive correction quickly filled you with hope for genuine transformation. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-counseling-the-un-counsel-able/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Mable picked up the phone and started calling people at random. Somehow, she ended up with your number. Mable confessed she didn’t know why she was calling you but felt an inexplicable urge to do so. She began to share her sordid story: she was at the end of a complicated and frustrating life and felt hopeless. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-suicide/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Mable has struggled with insecurity her entire life. Her earliest memories involve her parents' consistent displeasure with her, valuing her outward appearance in social contexts over her well-being. This fear-driven parenting model shaped Mable's need to prove herself and escape the feelings of inadequacy instilled by her parents. After you toss in Adamic shame, it was a crippling double-whammy. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-nagging-wife/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Legalism is a complex subject. It stirs passionate responses from many Christians. If you’re in a legalistic culture, it’s hard to get out. If you did come out of it, it’s typical to overreact by going to anti-rule excesses. What began as an honest desire to follow God often morphs into a joyless, graceless, exhausting attempt to perform. Gospel-centered living is not ruleless living; it’s freedom rooted in love and wisdom. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/legalism-is-a-fear-based-culture-that-leads-to-a-complex-life/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/

Mable, at 28, was single and deeply desired marriage. She had a degree, a great job, and a seemingly full life, but she felt an emptiness that she attributed to her singleness. Marriage, in her mind, was the next milestone she longed to achieve. You might say that Mable was the epitome of a goal-oriented lady. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/exchanging-prisons-from-singleness-to-marriage/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.