Unsoulmated Podcast (or How To Ruin A Lasting Marriage With A Divorce)

Day 161. You would think by now, people would believe you when you straight out say you are not looking to be with anyone else right now but I still seem to have issues with people not believing me and trying to convince me that I do want to be with someone else.

Day 160. Observing young people while getting ice-cream with my son gets me thinking about how much different your point of view of the world is when you are in your mid-40s vs. when you were still in high school, and it poses the question: if you knew then what you know now, would you even listen to yourself?

Day 159. It's official, my ex has dismissed the case and the judge has signed off on the dismissal document. My attorney confirms that my life can go back to normal. But the question is: what is normal anymore? Only one way to find out.

Day 158. A friend sends me an article that details the common stages an empath goes through when in a relationship with a narcissist. I find the details very compelling and oddly precise in what I went through, on a lighter level with my marriage, but strangely even more with my Lost Soulmate.

Day 157. As I continue to write my comedy pieces, I still have slight reservations regarding certain types of jokes and how some people may be offended by them. But I am learning more and more that there is no place for sensitivity regulation in the world of the comic because it's our job to say, "F@ck sensitivity and let's just laugh at how stupid we are in this stupid world."

Day 156. Recent media coverage of the Texas school shooting and the behavior of people on social media starts to stress me out and I have to vent about the uselessness of the arguments that take place on the social channels, and offer my own resolve to the problems which basically involves us all just stop being crappy to each other.

Day 155. I go into the meaning behind my use of the Fisher Price Dog to represent myself in my episode art, which is a story of childhood theft and an unwanted tattoo in the days of college.

Day 154. I get a phone call from my ex today with some new details regarding the upcoming hearing to reopen our divorce agreement terms. After which, I perform at my 4th open mic and I am pleased to have had the company of an old friend who did his first open mic performance.

Day 153. Recent interactions reveal some people from my past have been asking around about my status. Because of my history with them and my own desire not to share life details with everyone, I have no plan allowing any of those people into my personal life, even when my brother insists that I do so.

Day 152. My ex and I decide to change the plans for my son's upcoming birthday due to bad weather in the forecast. Additionally, I ponder whether or not it is right for me to continue to interact with my "Hot Chick" friend after she professed her love for me and I had to turn her down.

Day 151. I speak to the gifted & talented program coordinator today regarding my son's assessment and why he did not qualify for the program. It gave me a better understanding about how they select the students who get to be in the program, but even more intriguing is how the explanation of different types of students paralleled with how my ex and I were so different.

Day 150. I suddenly realize that a detail that will be very important if I ever start dating again is the fact that I have children and that will greatly limit the types of girls I will be able to consider. Additionally, NP Douche unintentionally finds a way to annoy me through transferring his fashion sense onto my son.

Day 149. When I suddenly receive free tickets to a concert, I find myself facing the temptation of being with other women but too afraid of ramifications to act on the new opportunities.

Day 148. I get a lot of recommendations for articles about relationships and marriage and etc and I find often times, the information provided in these articles very rarely ever apply to my situation. I go through one of these articles today that proves to be 100% wrong in the case of my former marriage.

Day 147. A sudden moment of unexpected alone time brings up some old feelings that always takes me down a bad road, a road that asks the question, "Why do you even need to exist?" and I wrap my head around the reasons why I feel this way and it actually helps me have a clearer picture of who I am.

Day 146. I talk about how I face a challenge when it comes to finding balance between my old school comedic influences with modern day comics that are popular. I really want to be able to define my voice but not sure yet what that voice is.

Day 145. I reflect on the fact that I am about to be 44 years old and although there are some annoyances about being in my 40s, if and when I decide to start dating again, I find the options are much more attractive to me than when I was in my 20s.

Day 144. I discuss how self-sacrifice has to be an instinctive action to avoid talking yourself out of giving of yourself. I then reveal a stupid statement made by NP Douche to my ex before our divorce and I analyze how that statement proves that he is an idiot.

Day 143. Today was mostly uneventful but with some minor annoyances that I can easily let go of by simply venting about the day here, primarily about the etiquette for birthday present suggestions from the ex and how her time of the month was always a pain in the ass for me.

Day 142. Sometimes, the most difficult people to deal with after a divorce is your own family. They seem to not understand boundaries and can sometimes make things more stressful than they need to be.