Unsoulmated Podcast (or How To Ruin A Lasting Marriage With A Divorce)

Day 141. I have a very vivid dream about my Lost Soulmate that sticks in my head all day. In order to get it out of my head, I assess the details from the dream and analyze what it is my mind is trying to tell me.

Day 140. This week's comedy open mic was an experiment for me. I wanted to see if I could keep the audience's attention by telling a story grounded in seriousness and not comedy. The reaction from the audience was better than I had anticipated and this gives me further insight on what I can or cannot do as a comic.

Day 139. I provide a quick update on my check in with my attorney and then turn my focus towards my learnings from my failed second attempt last week at doing a comedy set, hoping that I can improve on night #3 Thursday evening.

Day 138. I allow myself to let my guard down based on my ex's reassurance that she is trying to come to an agreeable settlement so as to not prolong the process. But after about a week and half of relying on her sorting things out with her attorney and no follow-up from said attorney, I spend my Tuesday scrambling to get all of the necessary documents together for a May 7th deadline, and I am not happy about it.

Day 137. Attending some friends' memorial service for their mother who just passed makes me think about what it is you should do while you are still alive and what those things will mean when your time comes.

Day 136. Today I succumb to feelings of depression and have to overcome it since I have the children all day. I fortunately make it but by the end of the day, I am spent and need to express how I am feeling so I can get it out of my head.

Day 135. I consider what factors I need to keep in mind when writing comedy and the idea that no subject is too sacred to joke about. In the end, I have to set my own guidelines and feel like I have a good understanding of what those guidelines are.

Day 134. I get a letter in the mail today that I had been waiting for. The letter is the results of my son's assessments tests to see if he qualified to be in the region's school gifted & talented program. And unfortunately, the results are less than desired and it brings to discussion my own resentment against how these programs are run.

Day 133. My second night at an open mic did not fare as well but after seeing how badly the other comedians did, I feel a bit relieved that the bombing that I did may have been more the result of a pretentious audience than anything to do with my jokes.

Day 132. My suspicions regarding what my "Hot Chick" friend wanted to talk about ends up being true and I am left in a predicament in that I no longer have any love to give in return but do not want to deny reciprocation of what she has to offer me in a way that will hurt her.

Day 131. It suddenly occurs to me that planning vacations for my family now will be sans one member. And although I believe I could plan a getaway holiday for my kids on my own, I am curious how my ex will manage if she wants to do a distant vacation with the kids since she will not be allowed to do it with her boyfriend.

Day 130. Already hating the wait I have to go through to get past these pending court cases to resolve my ex's recent claims for changes to the division of assets in our divorce, I get a message from my attorney stating that my ex's attorney informed him that my ex and I have already come to an agreement for settlement. This would be good if it were true but seeing how I knew nothing about it and it turns out my ex did not either, it raises the question about the possible unethical tactics her attorney is willing to take to ensure she (the attorney, not my ex) gets a win out of this.

Day 129. Listening to 1 Corinthians, I revisit my philosophy in ministering and how the Bible tells us that in order to bring others to Christ, first and foremost, you must do so in a loving manner. Using actual scripture, I am able to completely disregard all of my Lost Soulmate's criticisms about my ministering style and find closure that she has a lot of re-examining to do for herself and the damage she is doing to her ministry by not being loving to all.

Day 128. I bail on an opportunity to socialize at a party due to my own social anxiety. Instead, I opt to spend my evening in a grocery store, all the while, I consider who are the types of people that I want to invest time in these days.

Day 127. Today I discuss what would have happened with my marriage had my ex and I had decided to have children in the early years of our wedlock, rather than waiting for as long as we did before having children.

Day 126. I finally got to perform my first open mic act and I am pleasantly surprised by how well I did and am excited about the prospect of doing more in the near future. Included in today's episode is an audio recording of my set. NOTE: NSFW because of crude language and some content that could be considered offensive. Also, in my continuance of wanting to protect the identities of the parties involved, I beeped out the mention of my real name. Hope you enjoy this segment.

Day 125. My ex asks what I recommend we do for our son and daughter's birthdays coming up in a month. This raises the question on how awkward it may get having my ex's friends there at the party and how I will react when they try to pretend to be nice when I know the things the whole lot of them have said about me.

Day 124. When you are in love or simply trying to be in a relationship, you have a different filter for your significant others that you would not allow for anyone else. This filter gives you the ability to tolerate things that would normally drive you crazy and even end a friendship over. Once that relationship ends and the filter is removed, it is surprising how much more annoying those old tolerances can become.

Day 123. I get the question a lot: "Now that you are divorced, what do you plan to do with your life?" and my answer often borders on the principle of: if I really wanted to, I would like to do nothing. But I DO have things I want to do, but they are driven merely on the desire to be happy.

Day 122. The young lady that I went on my only date with since my divorce contacts me and asks why I think she cannot find a significant other for herself. This leads to a discussion about the differences in dating when we are in our forties vs. when we were in our twenties.