Listen, Learn & Love Hosted By Richard Ostler

My friend Stephanie Povey (married mother of three daughters and two granddaughters) joins us to share her story. Stephanie starts with her own childhood and not fitting the cultural norms while growing up in a small Utah town. She was called a "tomboy" because she wanted to take part in activities that were considered only for boys. Being told she couldn't and shouldn't want to, led to feelings of shame and not belonging. Stephanie reveals some of her personal "anchoring experiences" that allowed her to find her way forward. She is sharing her story in her upcoming book entitled, "You Can't Play, You're a Girl". Stephanie goes on to tell the story of her gay daughter Hannah, who came out to her six years ago at age16 who now at age 22 has a steady girlfriend. Stephanie talks about what she is learning, the personal growth she has experienced and insights of being a parent of a gay daughter. She and her husband Reed are deeply committed to both the church and keeping their family circle strong and toge

My friend Wes Haws shares his story. Wes talks about coming out as gay after serving a mission to his future wife. They decided to get married and that marriage lasted 11 years. During these years, Wes survived a brutal attached in Ethiopia which resulted in difficult health and financial challenges. Wes rebuilt his career and now owns Blue Zoon (https://bluezoo.us/). Wes also talks about finding a way to move forward and the work he has done (including therapy) to accept and love himself. Wes talks about how/why his married ended and his subsequent excommunication (positive and loving experience for Wes). Wes talks about his hopes for the future and his respect and support for all path that LGBTQ Latter-day Saints take. Wes also talks about being your best personal self before deciding the best path if you are LGBTQ and LDS. Thank you for being on the podcast Wes. I think it helps LGBTQ Latter-day Saints to hear a variety of stories. I invite each LGBTQ Latter-day Saint to write thei

My friend Meghan Decker(from High School) shares her story as a gay Latter-day Saint. Meghan and her husband David are the parents of 5 daughters and 15 grandchildren. Meghan is active in the Church and is a wonderful marriage. Meghan shares her journey to come out to herself and then her husband and family in her 50’s. Meghan talks about how coming out reduced shame, helped her be authentic and improved her emotional health. Meghan shares how her marriage works, why she decided to come out, her family response, and her relationship with the Church. Meghan wrote Reaching for Hope: An LDS Perspective on Recovering from Depression 22 years ago. She is releasing a new book in April 2022 called Tender Leaves of Hope: Finding Belonging as LGBTQ Latter-day Saint Women, which shares her experience as a gay women in the Church and also includes insights from 40 other gay or bisexual LDS women. You can find her website at www.confirminghope.com. Meghan's story is unique because of her long-view of so

My friend Peter Fillerup (age 31, RM, Architectural & Interior Designer), shares his story. Upon returning home from his successful mission in Los Angeles, Peter spent about ten years trying to date women. Peter talks ‘waiting for the attraction to happen’ and concludes with feeling ‘I’m screwed up”. In late 2020, Peter started to consider he is gay. That journey involved his family, personal revelation, and deep reflection. Peter shares his story of coming out in 2021 and how much better he feels in all aspects of his life. He no longer feels “screwed up” and has a better relationship with his Heavenly Parents. This is a deeply moving and insightful podcast. Peter’s story will help so many. You are a good man Peter and I’m honored to have you. ** Please Check Out My Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773 ** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please

My friend Colby Majors (mid 30’s, convert, RM, going through a divorce, father of one) shares his journey. Colby talks about knowing he was gay in his teenage years, joining the Church at age 17 and serving a mission, and then getting married. Colby talks about why, after 15 years of marriage, he felt he needed to finally come out as gay to his wife and family. That reality has led Colby and his wife to separate and are headed to a divorce Colby talks about his love for his Heavenly Parents and the Savior in his life as he moved forward. Colby talks about doing his best to be honest and make the best decisions possible as a gay Latter-say Saint. Colby story (like many LGBTQ Latter-day Saints) is still unfolding. But Colby has hopes for his future and have wonderful insights to help other LGBTQ Latter-day Saints and to help keep us together as the same human family. Thank you my friend Colby for being on the podcast and sharing your story. You are brave and courageous. Hearing your story h

My friend Dr. Mark White (active Latter-day Saint, Director, MFT Doctoral Programs, Department of Marriage and Family Sciences, Northcentral University [NCU]) joins us to talk about a research study designed to better understand the experience of current/former LGBTQ Latter-day Saints). Dr. White is joined by the other members of the research team, Dr. Beth Patrick (Associate Professor of Marriage and Family Sciences at NCU) and Tyra Williams (PhD student in Marriage and Family Therapy). Beth (lesbian/queer identified) and Tyra (queer identified) share some of their journey and how they are navigating their faith communities with wonderful insights. All three talk about the purpose and scope of the study. If you are LGBTQ and a current/former Latter-day Saint, I encourage you to spend 30-40 minutes to complete the online research project at MyCoreTruths.org (anonymous) and please share this link with others. Good research helps us know how to better meet the needs of our LGBTQ friends. Thank you

My friend Joseph Stith (active LDS, Convert, Former Marine, RM from Houston, Former President of Northstar, early 60s) shares his story as a gay Latter-day Saint. Joseph talks about his healing journey with his Savior that first started with a desire to change his sexual orientation and later changed to accepting his sexual orientation. Joseph shares knowing he was gay while serving in the military and throughout his mission, his marriage and during his service as a Bishop. Joseph shares the deeply spiritual road resulting in eventually fully coming out to himself and then his dear wife. It is a deeply moving and powerful story centered on the Savior and the Temple that ultimately strengthened his marriage and his discipleship. If you are a LGBTQ Latter-day Saint or someone wanting to better support LGBTQ Latter-day Saints, I believe you will enjoy this podcast. Joseph, having traveled this road for decades, has the long-view to help others new to this road. Thank you Joseph for being on the podcast

My friends Joey Sheppard and Dr. Sarah Coyne talk about their new research project to better understand how church culture impacts LGBTQ Latter-day Saints. Their qualitative research (interviews) is open for new participants who are 1) 18 and older; 2)LGBTQ+; 3) Current or former Latter-day Saints. The goal of the research (supported by BYU) is to better understand how to improve the experience for LGBTQ members in our Church. You can learn more about the research project in their flyer posted here or by emailing LGBTQ.BYUstudy@gmail.com Take the survey to see if you qualify: https://byu.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_6SDF8GLegAWyOBU Joey (who is genderqueer) and Sarah share helpful insights to better minister to and support LGBTQ Latter-day Saints. Thank you, Joey and Sarah, for being on the podcast and your groundbreaking work. Your voices and work are very needed. I encourage everyone to listen to the podcast. ** Please Check Out My Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-

My friend Spencer Cottle joins us to share his story as a gay Latter-day Saint. Spencer, who grew up in Williamsburg Virginia, talks about coming out in 2018 to his bishop and parents (good experience) prior to his successful mission to Madagascar. Once home from his mission, Spencer talks about needing to face and address the realities of figuring out his future as a gay Latter-day Saint. That led to deeply spiritual experience that Spencer shares on the podcast and feelings about his best path forward. Spencer, who sang in the BYU Choir at October General Conference, also talks about the excellent support he is receiving from parents, family and roommates. Thank you Spencer for being on the podcast. You are a remarkable talented man with a wonderful future. Thank you for sharing your story and helpful insights to help bring us together. You have a great life ahead of you! ** Please Check Out My Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latte

My friends Scott and Molly Hixson (married for 28 years, parents of five children, and one grandchild) join us to share their story. About 15 years ago, Scott came out to Molly with his same-sex attraction. Scott and Molly talk about the things they did during the last 15 years to keep their marriage together. The effort significantly accelerated over the past year as they did the hard work needed to bring their marriage into a very healthy and sustainable place. Their story is a beautiful love story. Scott and Molly talk about the personal revelation they received on why to share their story in a broad way to give hope, perspective and healing for others. If you are looking to improve your marriage (straight or mixed-orientation), or improve your relationships with others, please listen to this podcast. They share helpful and valuable insights. If you are looking to better support LGBTQ Latter-day Saints or are LGBTQ, this podcast will help you. Thank you Scott and Molly for being on the podcast

My friend Spencer Thompson joins us to talk about his insightful recent Liahona Article which talks about his journey from shame to joy. Here is a link to the article: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/liahona/2021/10/digital-only/same-sex-attraction-and-my-journey-from-shame-to-joy?lang=eng) Spencer, a married father of four, has some of the most unique, practical and helpful insights into the role of the Savior and His Atonement to bring hope and healing. I learn so much listening to Spencer and his honest and thoughtful insights. Spencer also talks about the valuable role of therapy, importance of being vulnerable and how to better minister to each other. Spencer gave two keynotes at NorthStar (Spencer is the current President https://www.northstarlds.org/) that are two of the finest talks I’ve heard about how the Savior wants to take on our burdens (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zPYSoDk1kQ) and how to better trust in God (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oYjL35kZaHA). I encourage e

My friends Patrick Mason and David Pulsipher join us to talk about their new book called Proclaim Peace: The Restoration's Answer to an Age of Conflict that is co-published with the Maxwell Institute's Living Faith series and Deseret Book. Here is a description of the book: Proclaim Peace is an extended meditation on what it means to follow the Prince of Peace in a world of violence. The book seeks not to promote any particular ideology, but rather to invite readers, especially the rising generation, to reflect seriously on the interpersonal, ethical, and social dimensions of Christian discipleship. As such, it represents a spiritual journey by two believing scholars of peace—a journey of scriptural exegesis and hermeneutics that breathe new life into familiar and beloved Restoration texts. Patrick and David talk about the unique doctrine in our restored Church that helps us lead with peace both within our Church and the world and how this implementing this doctrine is so needed to reduce divisiveness

My friend Tim Wright (RM from Spain, Age 29, Utah State Graduate) shares his story as a gay Latter-day Saints. Tim, who grew up in Morgan Utah, shares what led him to come out in May of 2021 and why coming out significantly improved his relationship with his Heavenly Father and his family. Tim, who is active in his LDS Ward, shares why he feels so much happier and a greater sense of belonging since coming out. If you are working through anger at God and/or wondering if it is time for you to come out, please listen to Tim’s story as he uses gospel principles and personal revelation to make his way forward full of hope. Thank you Tim for being on the podcast. You are a great man. Your story will help so many. ** Please Check Out My Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773

My friend Cheryl Hill shares her remarkable journey to be rebaptized into the Church in 2017 after nearly 30 years out of the Church. Cheryl talks about her relationship with Jesus which led her back into the Church in Georgia through many miraculous experience and incredible Church members. Cheryl is joined by her therapist, Jennifer Kuck, from Georgia (who flew to Utah for the podcast) and shares insights into Cheryl’s courage to deal with the pain/trauma of prior Church experiences that needed to be addressed to help Cheryl come back into the Church. Cheryl, who moved to Utah, is joined by her current Bishop, Nate Manning, who talks about helping Cheryl feel loved and welcome in the Ward. Bishop Manning and Cheryl talk about returning to the Temple and all the friends who supported Cheryl that day. This is a remarkable story of Cheryl's courage to rejoin the Church and the many people who love, believe in, and support Cheryl. Thank you Cheryl for being on the podcast. You are awesome. Y

My friend Chad Cannon (married father of four, active LDS, age 45) join us from near Idaho Falls to share his story. Chad talks about his 30 year journey with pornography use and how the 12-step addiction recovery program (focused on the Savior) was is path to hope and healing. Chad also shares insights into being the father of two LGBTQ children and also battling a life and death illness with leukemia. If you need hope in your life to end pornography use, please listen to Chad’s story and the role of our Savior and His atonement. Chad also had helpful insights in raising LGBTQ kids and also dealing with a serous illness. Thank you Chad for being on the podcast and sharing your story as you story will help so many. ** Please Check Out My Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773

My friend Jason Conforto, producer at Avalanche Studios, talks about why he and director, Dave Lindsay, decided to produce the documentary film Dog Valley, about the brutal murder of Gordon Church in Millard County, Utah in 1988. Jason shares the role his friend, Chad Anderson, played in researching and bringing this story to Avalanche Studios and producing the film with them. The movie honors the life of Gordon Church and brings awareness to his horrific death. It opens the door to what we can do to better support our fellow LGBTQ friends and create positive messages. Jason, who is an active LDS father with a gay son, also talks about how much better things are for his son 30+ years later and how much he loves and supports his son. You can purchase the film at: https://itunes.apple.com/us/movie/dog-valley/id1582528103 Or you can find more information about the film at dogvalleymovie.com or Avalanche-studios.com Thank you Jason for being on the podcast. Thank you to Chad Anderson, Dave Lin

My friend Brenna Hoffman (married mother of new baby boy) shares her story of not belonging and never fully feeling accepted in Latter-day Saint culture. This feeling along with a negative experience in the temple and life-long questions led Brenna to conclude that her path was to leave the Church. Brenna shares her story, and talks about support from her convert husband (in a master’s program at BYU), family and friends, feeling accepted in non-LDS congregations and her spiritual impressions to return to the Church. Brenna has been sharing her experiences on social media, in testimony meeting in her BYU Ward, and in her community and has been met with love and support. She also talks about creating safe spaces and unity in our congregations so everyone can feel like they have a place in the Church. If you are trying to find a way to stay in the Church or are looking for better tools to help others, please listen to Brenna’s story. It is powerful, vulnerable and full of insights to help us better come to

My friend Becky Edwards joins us to talk about her run for U.S. Senate. Becky, who served 10 years in the Utah House of Representatives, talks about why she is running, past legislative successes, the importance of listening, and principles to bring us together. Becky also talks about the story of her yellow couch—now a key element of her campaign. I start the podcast with our family connection to Becky and John Edwards. During their recent missionary service in Samoa, Becky became the answer to our family prayers for our missionary son Ben who served in Samoa in 2019-2020. Thank you Becky for being on the podcast and sharing your vision for Utah. Thanks for sharing why you are running and the values you believe will help bring us together and reduce divisiveness. Please check out Becky’s campaign at www.BeckyForUtah.com or follow her on social media @BeckyForUtah

My friend Dylan Stegall (Age 23, Texan, RM for Chile Santiago East) shares his journey as gay Latter-day Saint. Dylan talks about being aware of this part about him before his mission but staying really busy/productive and kind of pushing it down. Dylan talks about his successful and enjoyable mission. Dylan talks about trying to date woman at BYU-Idaho and how he gradually came to feel that is not his path. Dylan shares starting to come out to others and then a deeply spiritual experience where Dylan has God how he felt about Dylan’s sexual orientation. That powerful experience let Dylan to come out in this Facebook post in August of 2021 https://www.facebook.com/dylan.stegall.3/posts/1199150057217305. Dylan talks about what is it like to be out at BYU-Idaho (mostly good experiences) and what BYU-Idaho is doing to including calling a chief inclusion officer (see https://byuicomm.org/byuiscroll/6-months-as-chief-inclusion-officer/). BYU-Idaho had a booth at the Rexburg Pride this past Summe

My friends Garrett and Sallie Ferguson, married parents of 4 kids, join us from the Dallas area to share their story. They first shared in 2013 as part of the Voices of Hope project https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s36K2ilFsnY. They give us an update on their lives since 2013 and what they are doing to bring more understanding to LGBTQ/SSA Latter-day Saints through their co-work as managers of the Voices of Hope project. That project has recently expanded into a podcast as part of North Star (see northstarlds.org). Thank you for being on the podcast Garrett and Sallie and all the great work you are doing to bring us together and increase understanding. ** Please Check Out My Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773