Listen, Learn & Love Hosted By Richard Ostler

My friend Jakob Schramm (Age 23, RM from the Mexico Monterrey West Mission, Mechanical Engineering at University of Utah and Utah Valley University) shares his journey as a gay Latter-day Saint. Jakob talks the journey to understand and accept this part of himself and then the thoughtful and methodical process to figure out his best path forward. Jakob talks about working through two suicidal times of his life and how he is now in a much better place thanks to the support he is receiving from others. Jakob is honest about his relationship with the LDS Church and is not yet sure how to reconcile his membership in the Church and his sexuality, though he still maintains a relationship with God. Thank you for being on the podcast Jakob. You are a good man doing your best to find your best path forward. Thanks for being you and all the good you bring into this world. ** Please Check Out My Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www

My friend Jamison Manwaring (RM from Eastern Canada, Business Owner, Age 40) shares his journey as a gay Latter-day Saint. Jamison talks about his efforts to make deals with God to not be gay during his closeted years growing up in Idaho Falls and coming out to his Mission President who listened without judgement. Jamison talks about difficult and painful years in his 20’s and early 30’s trying to find a way to find a way forward in a healthy and sustainable way as he navigated his sexuality and faith. Jamison talks about working for Goldman Sachs in New York and how the supportive culture for its LGBTQ employees to helped Jamison better accept himself and come out in a more extended way in 2013 on Facebook (www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_Thj42lMf4). Jamison is now a business owner in the Phoenix area (https://www.bizjournals.com/phoenix/news/2020/07/17/valley-exec-went-from-wall-street-to-main-street.html) Jamison talks about dating men and why he feels that is the best path forward for him. Jamison

My friend Ed Axley (married father of four, business owner, RM from Costa Rica) share the unique aspects of our restored doctrine that led to his baptism into the Church at age 18. Ed also shares four insightful ways to respond when people open with their life situations. Ed concludes with helping each of us see ourselves as beloved children of Heavenly Parents and to never feel shame or less of ourselves—even in our worst moments. Thank you Ed for being on the podcast. You bring hope, wonderful perspective and a love for all of Heavenly Parents children.

My friend Andrea Lystrup is a licensed marriage and family therapist joining us to share insights on several important topics including 1) creating Zion within our Church; 2) tools to better love each other; 3) how to balance the tension between law and love; 4) working through pain when something said at Church is hurtful; 5) how to get through trauma/pain which is interfering with your relationship with God and ability to access your spirituality; and 6) advice for LDS couples in mixed-faith marriage. Thank you Andrea for being on the podcast. I was deeply moved by your insights and expertise to help bring us together and help/heal ourselves and others. You are doing great and needed work. Your can connect with Andrea at https://www.andrealystrup.com/ and Instagram @askandreamft

My friend Marcus Hayden, age 19 and preparing for a mission, shares his story as a gay Latter-day Saint. Marcus starts with the excellent talk he gave in his BYU YSA Ward this summer based on Elder Gong’s talk “Room in the Inn” (https://abn.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2021/04/16gong?lang=eng). Marcus does a great job of taking the principles from Elder Gong’s talk and applying them in real-life situations in our congregations. Marcus then shares his story coming out at age 13 to his parents, at age 14 to his Bishop and out to a broader circle after he graduated from High School. Marcus talks about the excellent support he is receiving from his parents, community, friends and local leaders. Marcus then talks about his decision to serve a mission and why being gay is a good thing as a missionary representing the Savior to help others come unto Christ through our restored Church. Thank you Marcus for being on the podcast. You have a beautiful and unique life mission to help othe

My friend Liv Mendoza Haynes, who spoke with the Relief Society General Presidency at BYU Women’s Conference, shares her story. Liv (who is a convert, RM, Lawyer, Young Woman’s President and expectant mother), shares her journey which included coming out as queer church-wide at Women’s Conference in April 2021 as part of the Relief Society goal to help everyone belong (see https://www.thechurchnews.com/leaders-and-ministry/2021-04-29/byu-womens-conference-relief-society-a-safe-place-belonging-211785 and https://www.sltrib.com/religion/2021/04/29/help-all-women-including/). Liv talks about being queer and why they label works for her, advice to other queer/LGBTQ women, advice to parents of LGBTQ children, supporting all types of marriages, better sitting with people in their pain, how to better mourn, develop compassion on not judge. Liv also explains why being queer is not a problem. She believes this is how her Heavenly Parents intended for her to be created. It is a beautiful part of her identi

My friend Colette Dalton (Masters of Social Work from BYU, worked for the Church, now therapist at Symmentry Solutions) share her journey as a gay/queer Latter-day Saints. Colette shares her journey to understand her sexual orientation, navigating being queer and a Church employee and her work as a therapist. If you are a queer women or parent of a queer daughter, Colette’s insights will help you. And if you are someone who wants to better understand queer Latter-day Saints to help them move forward, or someone working though suicidal ideation, or wanting to strengthen your relationships, Colette’s insights will help you. Thank you Colette for being on the podcast. Your good heart, story and clinical experience helps so many

My friend Kendall Harward (Ghana, West Africa RM) bravely shares his story. Kendall talks about life before his mission pushing down this aspect of his essence, talking to his Bishop, and going on his mission believing feelings of being gay was a phase that ended. Kendall bravely talks about realizing being gay was still part of him during his mission and how he navigated the complexity of his situation including overwhelming shame for his feelings. Kendall talks about returning home hoping he would marry a woman and fulfill his hope for a family and life within the Church. Kendall talks about dating women and how he feels that is not going to be his path. He talks about dating men, going through the church repentance process, and his recent positive of loving experience with his Bishop and Stake President and his desire to stay connected to his local ward. Kendall also talks about the need for self-care and how seeing a therapist and taking care of himself is needed and not selfish and invites ev

My friend Stuart Barrett (RM from Nebraska, age 26) bravely shared his experience being disfellowshipped in a Facebook post (see https://www.facebook.com/1344601875/posts/10225731849786709/) and returned to full Church activity. Stuart talks about why he is open about this chapter of his life, why he is a better person for going through the process, efforts to reduce shame and desire to give hope to others. If you want to go through the repentance process or help others, please listen to Stuart’s podcast. He is brave, honest, vulnerable and authentic. His story will help you. Also, if you are suicidal, Stuart has insights that will give you more hope and desire to stay. Thank you Stuart for being on the podcast. Respect. Your facebook post and doing the podcast helps 100s and 100s.

My friend Devan Jensen, president of the Latter-day Saint Publishing and Media Association (ldspma.org), joins us to introduce the organization and invite listeners to their upcoming conference at BYU October 7-9, 2021. The association is for Latter-day Saints in publishing or media or independently sharing content through blogs, podcasts, or social media (membership is free). Those who join can network or find resources to help efforts to reach a wider audience (such as writing a book, developing a podcast, better using social media, etc). On the podcast, Devan talks about the organization’s purpose and the upcoming conference (student discount code of Student2021 and all others code of Friend2021; good through September 30). Devan also shares principles and insights to find common ground. If you are a Latter-day Saint developing content, please listen to this podcast and check out this organization. They are providing a needed resource. Thank you, Devan, for being on the podcast and for all your grea

In this solo episode following the events at BYU on August 23rd, I share thoughts for my LGBTQ Latter-day Saints friends, thoughts about my friend Matt Easton, thoughts for fellow Latter-day Saints who are LGBTQ allies, thoughts for local leaders wanting to talk about supporting LGBTQ Latter-day Saints in their local areas, and insights for those in a faith crisis who want to stay in the Church. In the podcast I reference a Questions from the Closet episode (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/what-do-i-do-if-im-hurt-by-something-a-church-leader-says/id1504990147?i=1000532985270), David Archuleta (https://www.instagram.com/p/CTFK5tsDXbD/, Facebook group for active Latter-day Saints working to implement church supported LGBTQ discussions/activities in their area (https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143) and a chapter about getting through a faith-crisis from my upcoming book (https://www.dropbox.com/s/rei464khsydwdsb/Chapter%2010%20Ministering%20To%20Those%20With%20Questions.pdf?dl=0) I hope

My friend Mindi Holmgren and Justin Holmgren join us to share about the sudden death of their husband/brother at age 35. Corey, who drowned in the community swimming pool on January 19th 2019, was a Military Chaplain and LMFT working at Lifestar in Murray, Utah who helped hundreds during his lifetime. Mindi and Corey are the parents of four—with their last child born 6 weeks after Corey’s death. Mindi and Justin share about Corey’s life work (which one of Corey’s clients, Tate LeBaron spoke about in Episode 422), how to help those with a sudden and tragic family death, what to say and not to say, and how they are making their way forward. They also talk about how their testimony has deepened and their thoughts about the plan of salvation to bring hope and the Atonement of Jesus Christ to help bring healing. They also talk about how there is sometimes no answers and how to live with faith during mortality. The Holmgren family has started a non-profit organization in Corey’s name. Check it out at c

My friend Ryan Anderson (LDS married father of 4, Ph.D. in Medical Family Therapy from East Carolina University) talks about helping those in abusive relationships and also tools to help local Church leaders better meet the needs of those who bravely open up about being victims of abuse. Ryan offers this free webinar https://academy.cedarfort.com/course/religion-and-abuse. Ryan has a book from Cedar Fort on this subject coming out in Q1 2022. If you are in an abusive relationship, want to help others, or are a local Church leader, please listen to this podcast. I found it very helpful with many great principles to help all of us have better tools in our relationships. I encourage everyone to listen to this podcast. Thank you Ryan for being on the podcast and all your great work. You can contact Ryan at: randerson@telos.org

My friend @noah7hanson on IG shares his journey as a gay Latter-day Saint. Noah talks about life in High School, and his successful mission (came out to Heavenly Father at the end of his mission). Noah also talks about dating women, getting engaged, and then receiving strong personal revelation to end that engagement and come out to his now ex-fiancé as gay. That put Noah in a very difficult and dark space. Noah eventually felt his best path forward was to date men and stay in the Church. Noah met Marshall Day (Atlanta, Georgia RM, Graduate from Utah State) about two years ago, and talks about how that relationship has strengthened his faith in his Heavenly Father and the Savior. Noah and Marshall attend Church each week and hope to participate as much as possible in the Church, and raise a family centered on Christ and His gospel. Thank you Noah for being on the podcast and sharing your story. It will help so many. Glad to meet you and Marshall. You two have great lives ahead of you. ** Please Che

My friend Kim Siever zooms us from Lethbridge, Alberta, to share his story. Kim, who is Canadian, served a mission in Utah and is now an independent journalist. He tells us his lifelong journey to understand his sexual orientation after being convinced for over 40 years that he was straight. He also shares how the Spirt helped him understand this part of him, and he came out as queer to his wife, family, and friends only last year. Kim came out to his Latter-day Saint congregation during a Fast and Testimony Meeting in early August and explains why he felt impressed to do that and the reaction of ward members. Kim feels no shame in being both queer and a Latter-day Saint and sees them as two parts of the same identity. Kim’s podcast is very insightful, and I hope it will help us understand there are LGBTQ Latter-day Saints of all ages and how we can better support them as we try to create a feeling of belonging within the church. Thank you for being on the podcast, Kim. Respect for sharing your story

My friend Geoffrey Pears (Masters in Accounting from BYU, RM from the Philippines) joins us to share the talk he gave in his YSA Ward in Houston about his journey as a gay Latter-day Saint. It is a deeply moving, honest and vulnerable talk. Geoffrey does a great job taking us into the life of a gay member of the Church. I am glad that his Bishop and ward leadership helped to create Zion by asking Geoffrey to give this powerful talk. You can listen to Geoffrey’s talk here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLg0ZaKRNEI or read it here: https://bit.ly/3lqgC5u I encourage everyone to listen and share this powerful podcast. Thank you for being on the podcast Geoffrey and for all your wondering insights to help us better support our LGBTQ members and come together as the same human family. ** Please Check Out My Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773

My friend Jordan Jackson (who shared his story in episode 246) joins us to talk about his new LGBTQ resource guide, LGBTQUT.com. Jordan talks about how the guide helps connect LGBTQ individuals, parents with LGBTQ children, and allies to resources in Utah—something Jordan wishes he had 4 years ago when we came out. Please listen to this podcast and check out LGBTQUT.com. Thank you Jordan for being on the podcast and all the good you do to bring us together.

My friend Kurt Nielsen (who was episode 147) updates us on his journey and insights as a gay Latter-day Saint. Kurt, who is active in the Church, shares insights on what we can do to better create Zion by seeing and involving our LGBTQ members. Kurt also talks about the need to belong and how some considering separating themselves from the Church are not having a belief crisis but a belonging crisis. Kurt is very good with words and stories from his own life to help us better understand. I encourage everyone to listen to the podcast. Thank you my friend Kurt for all the good you do. You are one of my heroes and a wonderful human, family man and disciple of Christ. ** Please Check Out My Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773Episode

My friend Will Sintyl, who grew up in Haiti and has lived in Utah for the last 4 years, shares his story. Will, who recently graduated from High School, shares coming out to family and friends as bisexual. Will talks about knowing he was bisexual for many years, why he needed to come out and his hopes for the future. Will also talks about how his relationship with the Church is even stronger since coming out. You can find Will on Instagram @will_sintyl Thanks for being on the podcast Will! You are a great man with a wonderful future! ** Please Check Out My Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773

Our good family friends Mason Dimond and Luke Davenport join us to share their stories. Luke updates us on his service mission that ends in late July—thank you for your service Elder Davenport! Please listen to Episode 228 for more of Luke’s story. Mason, in one of the bravest moments on our podcast, shares what led him to come home from his mission after 5 weeks. Mason, who left for his mission in July 2019, talks about being at the Mexico MTC and his emotional health deteriorating to a very unsustainable place. Mason, with no history of mental health issues, found himself in uncharted waters and bravely did what he needed to do—go home and heal. Mason talks about the process to leave the Mexico MTC and the feelings of failure as he returned home. Mason, who has been home nearly two years, talks about the steps he took (and the help of others like his good family and friens like Luke Davenport) to be in a much better place. Mason also talks about why he still has a strong testimony of the