Listen, Learn & Love Hosted By Richard Ostler

My friend Blake Hogge shares his story as a gay Latter-day Saint. Blake shares knowing his was “different” before his successful mission to Tampa, Florida (Haitian Creole), decided to stop dating women, developing his very successful wedding photographer business (check out @blakehogge on IG), coming out to friends and family, starting to date men, and staying close to his Heavenly Father. Blake has a remarkable story that helps all of us better understand and support each other—and keep us together as the same human family. I was deeply moved by his good spirit, support of all people on their respective paths and wonderful insights. Thank you Blake for being on the podcast. You are helping so many with your profession and sharing your story. You have a great life ahead of you

My friend Calvin Smith (RM from Mozambique and Swaziland, BYU Grad in Teaching Social Sciences) bravely shares his story as a gay Latter-Day Saint. Calvin talks about his younger years, great mission experience, realizing marrying a woman isn’t going to be possible, becoming suicidal with the complexities of his situation, good family and friends, and finding hope and healing. Calvin talks about dating men and has great insights for others on this road. He also talks about his excellent relationship with his Heavenly Parents and the Savior and the personal revelation he is receiving for his best path forward. Calvin also talks about wanting to participate in the Church as much as the church will allow even if his church membership is withdrawn. Thank you Calvin for courage to share your story and help us know how to better understand and support our LGBTQ members. You have great spiritual insights, maturity and a desire to help others. You have a great life ahead of you and this podcast will he

My friend Raini Stock (RM from Colorado Springs and getting her Master’s in school counseling from Idaho State University), shares her journey to stay a member of our Church. Raini shares the challenges she faced after her mission while at school at BYU-Idaho and not fitting in or feeling a sense of belong at times in our Church. Raini shares being uncomfortable about garment wearing (not from a religious issues, but a practical challenge) and also her mental health challenges. Raini shares how she found Rosemary Card and Dr Julie Hanks and how these two committed Latter-day Saints helps Raini to know there are people like her in the church—who are needed and helping others in wonderful and unique ways. If you don’t feel like you fit the mold, are uncomfortable about some aspects of our church, or have had a difficult leader experience, please listen to Raini’s story. She will help you to feel not alone and give you hope for your future. Raini has also started a podcast called Young Flirty an

My friend Lincoln Bagley bravely shares his unique mission (Peru, home for a year, Utah, Peru and Colorado) which covered three years from his call to returning home in May 2021. Lincoln talks about being sent home from his mission because of prior worthiness and a difficult experience his Mission President, feeling his was going to leave the church because “could not measure up”, being home for a year where he grieved and then healed, serving again about being assigned to Utah where he got treatment for scrupulosity, going to Peru and then reassigned to Colorado when Peru closed with Covid. Lincoln talks about healing from a difficult leader experience, deconstructing and then reconstructing his testimony, why he stays a member of the Church, the unique way he served the people of Colorado and his outreach to marginalized members of the Church. You can read more of Lincoln’s story here: https://www.facebook.com/100044382798931/posts/215979476558144/ https://www.facebook.com/100044382798931/po

My friend, Dr. Christy Kane who has a PhD in clinical psychology, joins us to talk about her new book Fractured Souls and Splintered Memories: Unlocking the Boxes of Trauma (https://www.amazon.com/Fractured-Souls-Splintered-Memories-Unlocking/dp/1462140327). Dr Kane’s book and clinical practice is focused on improving our mental health including identifying and working through trauma. In the podcast, Dr. Kane talks about why therapy is important, how we can talk about mental health in a more effective way, what is trauma and how we can help others to heal. If you want better insights and tools to solve the trauma in your life and help others, please read Dr Kane’s book and listen to this podcast. Her insights were very helpful to me and I believe will help you. Thank you Dr, Kane for being on the podcast and all your great work. You can connect with Dr Kane at drchristykane.com and on Instagram @dr.christykane

My friends Loren (PhD in Counseling Psychology from BYU) and Anne (Master in Marriage and Family Therapy from BYU) share their story. Loren, who knew he was not straight from an early age, shares his journey of self-discovery and understanding and why he identifies as Queer—a recent development—and the personal revelation that led him to accepting that label for himself. Loren and Anne also discuss falling in love and their decision to get married and Loren being open about his orientation—describing being able to “show up as my full authentic self”. Loren, who is a licensed psychologist at Washington State University, also talks about his identical twin brother who is gay and married to a man. Loren shares about how close he is with his twin and how strong their relationship is, but also helps us understand that his story is different from his brother's story and how we shouldn’t try to complete other’s stories—but create space for the uniqueness of each story. If you want to better understand your own

My friend Blaire Ostler joins us to talk about her new book called Queer Mormon Theology (https://www.amazon.com/Queer-Mormon-Theology-Blaire-Ostler/dp/1948218410). Blaire has wonderful insights into how to understand, see and support Queer Latter-day Saints. One of my favorite sections is 15 ways to be more inclusive for our queer friends. Thank you Blare for being on the podcast and all your good work to bring us together. You can check out Blaire’s other podcasts on our platform at 396, 335, and 24.

My friend Dashiell Miner joins us to better see and love all of God’s children. Dashiell, who is at BYU studying microbiology working towards being medical doctor in oncology, shares four topics: 1) Surviving brain surgery at age 9 and having a life-long hearing disability. Dashiell talks about how this shaped his life to have more empathy and understanding for others 2) Dashiell’s talk in this Ward about serving at San Quentin State Prison and getting to know Tommy, sharing deeply spiritual experiences, and the other ‘men in blue’ living there. In this deeply moving talk, Dashiell helps us see others as our Heavenly Parents see them. 3) Dashiell’s home environment and the topics, discussions and principles taught by his parents Tom and Julia and how that upbringing has positively impacted his life and his ability to help others. Dashiell bravely opens up about a faith crisis following his mission in Oklahoma City and why he stays a committed Latter-day Saint. 4) Dashiell’s ongoing efforts to b

My friend Chauncy Brinton (in his early 40’s, Army Psychologist, Doctorate from James Madison University) bravely and vulnerably shares his journey so he can help others. Chauncy talks about unwanted sexual behaviors—compulsive masturbation and gay pornography use—and why this happened in his life and his path to healing. Now in his 40’s, Chauncy has connected many of the dots to understand why this came into his life and how to move beyond unwanted sexual behaviors. Chauncy helps us understand he never decided to do "evil stuff” one day to displease God—but rather how these behaviors (still sins) came into his life at an early age and how the shame and low self-worth kept him isolated in this cycle. Chauncy also talks about navigating being gay and doing his best to understand this part about him and make his way forward. Though currently married, he and his wife are not sure what their future relationship will look like. They are seeking to trust in the Lord, that he will guide them to do what is be

My friend Bryce Johnson joins us to share his story. Bryce is an active Latter-day Saint and is honest that he doesn’t know exactly his future. He shares he could marry a man or marry a woman—and is looking for is people in his life that love, support and accept him. That are not telling him how to live his life—but walking with him in his journey. Bryce shares coming out to his parents at age 12, serving a mission, and life after his mission. Bryce talks about difficult and positive church experiences and learning to rely on his Heavenly Parents for direction and the Savior (and therapy) to heal. If you are not sure of your future as an LGBTQ Latter-day Saint (or someone working to help someone on this road), please listen to Bryce’s story. It will help you. Thank you for being on the podcast Bryce. You are a great man with a wonderful future! ** Please Check Out My New Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.

My friend Karim Lazarus (age 50, living in Baltimore) vulnerably shares his life story. Karim shares growing up in a single-parent home, being sexually abused (which he shares did not make him gay), finding his home in a military high school in Virginia and attending the Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs where he joined the Church. That led to Karim, after one year in the Church, courageously serving a mission in the France Bordeaux Mission under President Neil L. Anderson which was a great experience. After his mission, Karim returned to Academy but had some difficult church experiences that ultimately led to him step away. From 2003 through 2019, Karim was not active in the Church and was in relationships with men—including a deeply fulfilling relationship that ended a couple years ago. Karim always maintained an excellent relationship with Heavenly Father and our Savior and felt their love and acceptance. Karim, even while out of the Church, read conference talks and was aware of general Church d

My friend Tate LeBaron (active LDS, in his late 20s) shares the day four years ago when he almost died by suicide and what helped him out of that hopeless and dark place. Tate starts the podcast by reading a Facebook post from May 2021 (https://www.facebook.com/tate.lebaron/posts/10159058075777432). Tate also bravely shares about this battle with pornography and how that came into his life and what steps he took to remove it from his life. If you are working to solve porn, feel you have no worth, are suicidal and have feel everyone would be better off with out you, PLEASE listen to the podcast. Tate has been there. He can give you hope, tools, and feel the love from our Heavenly Parents to move forward in your life and have hope that your best days are ahead of you. You are also welcome to read my Ensign article about solving pornography (https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/liahona/2020/10/young-adults/7-tips-for-overcoming-pornography-use). Thank you Tate for being on the podcast

My friend Daryl Austin is a journalist based in Utah. His work has appeared in National Geographic, The Atlantic, The Wall Street Journal, Psychology Today and The New York Times. On the podcast, Daryl talks about several of his articles to help us better understand social issues, reduce divisiveness and the reasons to celebrate our differences. Here are links to the articles discussed: Deseret News: www.deseret.com/opinion/2021/5/28/22457992/disneys-wokeness-beats-wickedness-conservative-christian-boycott The Washington Post: www.washingtonpost.com/history/2021/06/06/uss-indianapolis-mcvay-hashimoto/ NBC News: www.nbcnews.com/think/opinion/george-floyd-s-death-has-be-tipping-point-white-people-ncna1229181 The Atlantic: www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2021/03/psychology-of-silent-treatment-abuse/618411/ You can connect with Daryl on Twitter at @darylaustinUT Thank you Daryl for being on the podcast and your national voice to brings stories forward to help us be better. You are doing impo

My friend Josh Pedersen, who came out as gay at 21 following his successful LDS mission in England, talks about his Kickstarter where you can pre-order his new booked called “OUT, NOT IN!” Josh, who is a full time Professor of Design, wrote the book to help LGBTQ people struggling to find their voice come out, and also to their families and close friends to gain a more empathetic understanding. It is a reminder that LOVE - between parent and child, best friends, and family friends is the greatest gift of all. No sides, just love. You can find "OUT, NOT IN!", at https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/joshpedersen/out-not-in-an-illustrated-lgbtq-book. Or by going to his Instagram @joshpedersen and using the link in his bio. To make this book a reality, they need to make their goal by July 6th. I encourage everyone to pre-order a copy and donate to this worthy and needed cause, not only will you be getting a copy of the book you'll be helping get 2 copies into libraries and public schools in Utah. Thank you

My friend Drew Young (who was on episodes 276 and 325) joins us to talk about his new book called “Stand Guard at the Door of Your Mind” which is available for pre-order at Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/Stand-Guard-Door-Your-Mind/dp/B0933GP1RY/). In the book Drew discusses many topics including suicide, porn, mental heath and bullying. In our podcast Drew opens up and enduring multi years of bullying and the pain this created in his life. Drew invites us a parents and local leaders to teach that bullying is wrong and to active condemn it when we see bullying occurring. If you are currently being bullied or have been bullied, Drew’s story will help you. Drew also does mental health/porn/life coaching and would love to help you or a loved one. If you’d like to connect with Drew you can find him on Facebook at facebook.com/mrdrewyoung1 and IG @mrdrewbyoung Thank you Drew for being on the podcast and your life work to help and heal others. You are a great man with a wonderful family—a hero to me and many

My friends Bree and Kit share their story as a couple with Bree’s gender incongruence/gender dysphoria. Bree talks about the shame, guilt and fear of 40+ years dealing with this and then eventually coming out to Kit. Kit and Bree talk about how their marriage is now even stronger and how they are moving forward. Bree talks about what it is like to deal with gender incongruence and the relief, healing of being more authentic. Bree talks about remaining an active Latter-day Saint and a recent Stake Leader Training where Bree spoke about being transgender and how to better minister to LGBTQ Latter-day Saints. Bree is on the Board at NorthStar (see https://www.northstarlds.org/bree-bruce) and talks about the healing role of NorthStar. Thank you Bree and Kit for being on the podcast and sharing your story. You help all of us to better understand that gender incongruence is real and how we can better support—and better see the contribution of transgender Latter-day Saints. ** Please Check Out My New Bo

My friend Dallas Campbell shares his story as a gay Latter-day Saint. I became aware of Dallas from his moving Instagram coming out post www.instagram.com/tv/CNTnG5thfbW Dallas talks about knowing he is gay from a young age, some difficult times in high school, serving a wonderful mission in Guatemala, testimony of the Gospel, trying to date women, and receiving personal revelation he needed to come out. Dallas talks about what helped him to finally come out; the great support he is receiving from family, friends and Ward members; advice for those who are closeted; and his feelings about his future. Dallas also talks about his strong relationship with his Heavenly Father and the Savior to bring hope and healing. Thank you for being on the podcast Dallas. Your story is needed and moving. Thank you for being a light and bringing hope to others. You are a great man with a bright future. You can reach Dallas on IG @dallasmcampbell ** Please Check Out My New Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook

My friend Connor Berg (grew up in South Weber, Served a mission in the Jacksonville Florida Mission, currently at Utah State) shares his journey. Connor talks about growing up and learning he is gay in a world that makes it difficult to be gay. That led to years of shame, self-harm and depression. Connor eventually came out to his family (very supportive) which led to a path of therapy, hope and healing. Connor talks about dating a boy during his senior year and then deciding to serve a mission. Connor talks about his mission and better learning how to receive personal revelation and bring others to Christ. Connor talks about returning from his mission and trying to navigate his future. He talks about dating men, feeling hope and peace, and now feeling open to remaining single or possibly marrying a woman. Connor helps us understand how to seek for personal revelation and honor other’s personal revelation. This is one of the best podcasts I’ve done on the power and importance of personal revelation and

My friends Dason and Taylor join us to share principles about how to keep relationships together when one goes through a faith crisis/transition. Dason and Taylor were friends growing up in Lethbridge, Alberta, Canada and both served missions. After they both got married and started families, they lost contact until Dason’s Facebook post in 2019 about this faith transition. Taylor reached out to Dason with a desire to validate Dason's experiences/concerns, as well as share how he (Taylor) had reconciled some of the complex issues he had also encountered with church history/doctrines. After some bumps in the road and honest communication, they learned to accept and support each other in their respective journeys without an agenda to pull one to their way of seeing things. They report how their friendship is now closer than ever. I believe our Heavenly Parents are pleased when we find ways to reduce divisiveness, stop pointing fingers, and love (instead of judge) others. Where we learn to “achieve grea

My friend Tony Fieldson, who was on Episode 359, shares 10 keys for responding to your loved one’s questions or faith transition (see Tony’s video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lm3visvgAFk). Tony also talks about The Restoration Table Facebook group (https://www.facebook.com/groups/720024265292786) and its goals to implement these 10 keys among its members (comprised of active Latter-day Saints, to those unsure about their future, to former Latter-day Saints). No one in this group is trying to pull others to their place--rather working to create more understanding and find common ground. Thank you Tony for your great work to bring more understanding, reduce fear and bring more understanding. I encourage everyone to listen to this podcast.