Listen, Learn & Love Hosted By Richard Ostler

My friend Bo Buchi (masters degree, licensed clinical therapist) talks about his role as a therapist to help clients use the Gospel of Jesus Christ to improve their lives (including ending pornography use and living the law of chastity). Bo also talks about listening to the right voices (our leaders, scriptures) to make the hard decisions to improve our lives. Bo explains the psychological principle of dissonance and how it relates to the Gospel and healing from spiritual illness. In addition to this podcast to help solve porn, please listen to episode 347 where Bo and Hayden Paul talk about Bo’s role as his therapist to end porn use. Thank you Bo for being on the podcast and your bold voice of truth in a confusing/noisy world. You are helping many. You can reach Bo at BoBuchiMHC@gmail.com or CobaltCounselor.com

My friend Tom Fairholm (who recently graduated from BYU with degrees in music composition and Russian) shares his story as a gay Latter-day Saint. Tom, who has deep testimony of loving Heavenly Parents, the Savior, the Book of Mormon, talks about coming out to his parents in his teens (good experience), serving a mission, trying to make dating women work, and coming out more broadly earlier this year. Tom wrote a very thoughtful medium article (https://humanparts.medium.com/of-power-and-of-love-and-of-a-sound-mind-150289b5b41f) which has great insights and thoughtful suggestions going forward. Tom discusses the article on the podcast. Tom concludes with a piano musical number that he composed for the podcast. You can hear more of his music at https://soundcloud.com/tom-fairholm. Thank you Tom for being on the podcast and sharing some of your journey. You are a very gifted man contributing to our church and community in wonderful ways. You are bringing hope, healing and better understanding to many

My friends Elin and Randy Dastrup join us to talk about Randy’s life-long battle of feeling broken and having no worth. This partly resulted from being a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. Randy (who served a mission in Puerto Rico) talks about his battles with pornography and having an affair. Elin and Randy share the moment Randy told Elin about the affair, how they kept their marriage together, and the role of the Atonement of Jesus Christ to heal and give hope. They recognize some marriages end, but share how their marriage survived and is now thriving – party because Randy finally addressed and solved his feelings of brokenness and having no worth. Elin wrote a novel based on the experience (see https://www.amazon.com/Its-Always-Been-Elin-Dastrup-ebook/dp/B08ND6YF7Z/) and there is additional information on the book's Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/noblesonofgod. They discuss the novel and how one family uses the Light of Christ to show compassion and humility to conquer the trials

In anticipation of the upcoming North Star Conference, on June 10th-13th, my friends Ty Mansfield and Jeff Bennion join us to share their story of the founding of North Star—how and why it all started. They share the goals, vision, and mission of North Star, as well as address some common misconceptions about North Star. Ty and Jeff also share some of their personal stories as Latter-day Saints navigating the intersections of sexuality and faith and their personal paths forward. You can learn more about North Star at NorthStarLDS.org register for the June conference at NorthStarLDS.org/Conference2021. I am deeply supportive of North Star—I encourage everyone to check out this organization and consider attending the conference. Please check out this LDS living article with Stephen Nelson's experience and testimony at last year's conference https://www.ldsliving.com/-Just-believe-The-unwritten-story-of-the-fourth-member-of-GENTRI-the-gentlemen-trio/s/93473 Thank you, Ty and Jeff, for being on the podcast a

My friends Jordan and Adam share their journey as gay Latter-day Saints. Jordan and Adam served missions, completed college, have strong careers, have been together for three years and now feel their path is to get married. While we all understand their path is outside the doctrine of our Church, this episode is about how to come together in our differences as the same human family, reduce divisiveness, and show love and support. They also talk about raising Adam’s six-year old son from his former marriage, their hopes for the future, their strong relationship with Heavenly Father, their respect for the LDS church, and their good relationship with their LDS parents. Thank you Jordan and Adam for being on the podcast and sharing your story. You are good men with a wonderful future. Your story gives insights and teaches principles to bring us together to better love and support each other. ** Please Check Out My New Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgb

My friend Jed Alldredge shares his story about being the parent of a gay son, Jeffrey Alldredge (episode 270). Jeffrey came out at age 12 to his parents Jed and Starlyn—which is over 15 years ago. Jed has been on this road for a longtime and has wonderful insights into being the parent of a gay son. Like all families, there are some difficult moments and some great moments. The Alldredge family story is really a beautiful love story of coming together, having honest and vulnerable conversation, and supporting each other. If you are a parent of a LGBTQ child, I believe Jed has insights that will help you. Thank you Jed and Starlyn for raising such a fine son in Jeffrey and all your children. Thanks Jed for coming on the podcast. ** Please Check Out My New Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773

My friend David (gay) and Ann (straight) Rickey share their journey. David, who kept the shame of his sexual orientation to himself for over 40 years, decided the time was right to come out to Ann in 2012 while serving as a Bishop in Nevada. Ann and David talk about the difficult and painful days that followed—but the joy, happiness and peace that is now in their marriage and lives. It is a beautiful love story. They also talk about the wonderful support from their adult children. Ann talks about how she would not change anything about David—including his sexual orientation because she doesn’t see this as something that is broken and needs to be fixed. David and Ann recently returned from serving a mission in Hawaii and now live in Draper Utah. If you want insights into how to better live the gospel and support others, please listen to this podcast. It will inspire you. You can read more about David’s story here https://tinyurl.com/2ft65ffm and Ann’s story here https://tinyurl.com/y9ktwsrh

My friend Emerson Fersch, recently released as Stake President in the California Long Beach East Stake, talks about ‘creating Zion’ in his stake where everyone felt welcome, loved and needed. That included a significant outreach to LGBTQ Latter-day Saints in his stake—as well as working to make sure other groups who often feel on the margins feel a sense of belonging. Emerson also talks about his conversion story to the Church and falling in love with his dear wife Darcy (they now live in Cedar City, Utah) and their joint efforts to connect more with the blessings of the Gospel. If you are a local leader looking for real-life experiences to honor President Ballard’s challenge in April 2021 conference to create a greater feeling of belonging, please listen to this podcast. It will inspire you. Our prayer is that ideas will come into your mind/heart to better ‘create Zion’ in your area of stewardship. You can reach Emerson at emerson.fersch@outlook.com Thank you Emerson for being on the podcast an

My friend David Woods (early 60’s) and his niece Bekah Clements (married mother of three, HR Director) share their story. David (who served a mission in Switzerland) talks about being gay in Utah, moving away from Utah and leaving the Church, developing a successful multi-faceted career, returning to the Church after being out for several decades, moving back to Utah (where he is currently serving as a temple worker and ward clerk). It’s a moving and remarkable story. David talks about the difficult road of being gay and LDS and how he did his best to move forward. Bekah talks about her uncle David and how we can better support and love family members regardless of their church activity. This podcast is a beautiful love story. David and I learn—in real time during the podcast—that we crossed paths over 30 years ago. Bekah, who is a Relief Society teacher in her ward, shares this powerful statement about the need for everyone in our congregations. "For our boat to swing in unison we need you

My friend Kristen Reber (active LDS, married mother of three) joins us to talk about her early release from her mission 10 years ago. Kristen talks about the myriad of feelings that accompanied that experience including anger, pain, relief, and feelings of failure and frustrations with that experience. Several years after her early return, Kristen, realizing others are walking the same road, wrote a book and started a podcast on this subject (both are called Early Homecoming). Kristen has great insights to help others walking this road find hope for the future and belonging in our congregations. Her book is available in paperback, ebook, or audiobook on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Early-Homecoming-Resource-Early-Returned-Missionaries/dp/B08NWHZP36/ You can also buy it in paperback at Deseret Book: https://deseretbook.com/p/early-homecoming-a-resource-for-early-returned-missionaries-their-church-leaders-and-family You can listen to her podcast anywhere you like to listen to podcasts, or by visiting her

My friend Sharla Goettl joins us to talk about her outstanding new book called “Spiritual Resilience: Leading Our Youth to Go and Do”. This wonderful book is for LDS parents and will give you added tools, learned from Nephi's teenage years, to help guide your own children. The book is available at Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08T8L88TV or from Sharla’s web site at www.sharlagoettl.com. Thanks for being on the podcast Sharla. You are awesome. Thanks for your work to help our youth build a strong foundation.

My long-time friend Michael Broadhead joins us to share his journey being gay and raised LDS. Michael is joined by his husband Michael Massoni (they have been together for 25 years and married for 7 years). They both work for Southwest Airlines and live in Phoenix. Michael shares doing his best to navigate being gay, trying to find his way in the LDS Church, working through tough situations and finding a way forward. Michael, who is no longer in the LDS Church, has great insights on how to bring us together as the same human family, find common ground and reduce divisiveness, and principles to keep families together. In this podcast we discovered that in an event whereby we ran into each other decades ago, we were both affected by our fears of each other. Thank you Michael for being on the podcast. This world is a better place because of the contributions of you and your husband Michael. ** Please Check Out My New Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq

My friend Jeanie Edwards (active LDS, married mother of three, teacher in Princeton NJ) and Sean Edwards (RM, Married to Matt, School Administrator in Utah) share their family story. Sean and Jeanie share Sean’s coming out at age 17, serving a mission, trying to date women, dating men and eventually getting married to Matt (also a RM) 2 years ago. Sean shares his deep love for his Heavenly Father and the Savior and the support he is receiving from his family, friends, and school community. Jeanie, who has been on this road for 15 years, shares insights as a deeply committed Latter-day Saint and mother on raising a LGBTQ child including how we can do better. Thank you Jeanie and Sean for being on the podcast. Your family story is a beautiful family love story and will help many. ** Please Check Out My New Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773

My friend Jeffrey Scott Parsons (late 30’s, RM, talented signer, dancer and actor) shares his story as a gay Latter-day Saint. Jeff shares positive and difficult Church experiences, why he stays in the Church and attends his Ward, his hopes for the future, and how congregations can work with LGBTQ Latter-day Saints to be stronger and enjoy a better sense of belonging. Jeff also has wonderful insights for other LGBTQ Latter-day Saints. Thank you for being on the podcast Jeff. You are a great man—a true warrior—using your many God given talents to bring light and hope into the world. ** Please Check Out My New Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773

Alec and Irene Barrow’s (episode 397) children join us to talk about their love for their gay father (who is a seminary teacher in Utah) and their parents wonderful marriage. Their children are Amalia and her husband TJ, Ben and his wife McKaela, Clark and his finance Tegan, Caroline and Elizabeth. The Barrow kids love their gay father Alec and straight mother Irene and are proud to be their children—their family story is a beautiful love story. They are not embarrassed to have a gay father—but rather see their father as one of their heroes—They are proud of their parents marriage and are glad their story is being heard in a broader way. They share how having parents in a mixed orientation marriage has helped them to understand and teach the Gospel and Jesus Christ. They are glad their parents are sharing their story to help better support LGBTQ Latter-day Saints and bring us together as the same human family. The Barrow kids have powerful and needed insights on how to love, value and support LGBT

My friends Alec and Irene Barrow (married 30 years, 5 kids) talk about Alec being a gay Latter-day Saint. Alec, who has done everything he knows to not be gay, eventually came to accept this part of himself and is now being given space in his Stake and his Church employment to share his story as a gay Latter-day Saint—which is deeply healing for Alec and helps us have better tools to support LGBTQ Latter-day Saints. Alec talks about how both his testimony of our Church and being gay are part of his core identity. Both Irene and Alec talk about how “hiding” and “shame” disconnect us and the need to be real, open and honest—and how that creates connection which better helps us help and heal each other. Their marriage is a beautiful love story. This is a deeply moving podcast to help better support LGBTQ Latter-day Saints and bring us together as the same human family. Thank you Alec and Irene for being on the podcast. You are two of my heroes and you sharing your story will help thousands. Pl

My friend Blaire (married mother of three) is a philosopher specialized in queer studies. She joins us on the podcast to teach about intersex variances and her own intersex journey. Blaire (no relation) does a great job of teaching the facts while also sharing her story. For me, learning more about intersex variances helps me better understand the road that some walk and how to better support them. You can check out Blaire’s other podcast episodes on this platform at 335 and 24. Thanks for being on the podcast Blaire and all your work to bring us together as the same human family. You can connect with Blaire at BlaireOstler.com ** Please Check Out My New Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773

My friend Liz Macdonald (UVU psychology graduate, married mother of three, lives in SLC) shares research from her capstone project on “Exploring the Impact of Parents’ Religious Rigidity on Young Adults Disaffiliating from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints’. Liz (who does not attend Church) is not trying to pull people out of the Church—but rather shares principals and concepts that can bring LDS families together where there are different levels of belief. I believe our Heavenly Parents are pleased when families stay strong, there in open communication and we see and value the contributions of everyone. Liz can be reached at lizymacd@gmail.com or parentfromtheinsideout.com. Thanks for being on the podcast Liz. You are doing needed work!

My friend Kate Mower (PhD candidate, University of California Riverside) brings together all the different aspects of their life into a deeply moving and spiritual podcast. Kate talks about stepping away from the Church at age 17, their suicide attempt at age 19, their path to healing, their education pursuits (including three degrees from the University of Utah), their insights in Eastern Europe History and a deeply spiritual experience resulting in their return to the LDS Church. They also share their experience with bipolar II disorder, PTSD and anxiety. Kate has learned not to feel shame for any of their experiences or attributes—instead they see a wonderful child of Heavenly Parents. If you don’t feel you belong, are suicidal, or feel shame, please listen to Kate’s story. They will inspire you and give you more hope. Thanks for being on the podcast Kate. You are awesome and bringing much light and goodness into the world. ** Please Check Out My New Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseret

My friend Rachel Grant (Spain RM, BYU Philosophy Major, Digital Media Manager at Saints Unscripted) shares how we can improve Church culture around asking and answering questions. She teaches how questions need to be normalized in our families and church settings and are part of our journey to understand our religion—and how we should not fear if we or others have sincere questions. Rachel shares about her own faith crises processing complicated Church topics and why she stays a committed Latter-day Saint. She looks at this a ‘step forward’ versus a ‘step backward’. If you are working to stay in the Church or help others stay in the Church, please listen to Rachel’s insights. And you can check out Rachel (and the team she works with) good work with Saints Unscripted at: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2LBmYIOq6Eu_ZC14i_YkIg Thanks for being on the podcast Rachel. You are awesome.