Time For The Show

TIME FOR THE SHOW is back for a second year, thanks only to the tireless labor of the children in the Hypercube sweatshops, whose names will quickly be forgotten by history, but whose deeds will continue to earn us "likes" on Farcebook. The hosts planned a meeting before this episode to talk about what to do with the show in the new year, but it wouldn't be an episode of TIME FOR THE SHOW if we didn't spend the show talking about what to do on the show, so it was decided to save said meeting for the show, which turned out, as usual, to be potentially, but not actually, a good idea. All of the above plus Blind Eyes, Viewer Mail, Is It a Band, and Peas's Apologies in this, the premiere episode of 2019 of TIME FOR THE SHOW!

It's the New Year's Eve episode of a podcast, which means you already know it's going to suck and the hosts will get wasted, HOWEVER COMMA business still gets done, yo. Dok Cosmac is in the studio to join the hosts for the final Is It a Band game of the season, after which an ultimate champ is crowned and the season's statistics are released by Judge Scalpod. After stumbling through the Blind Eye and viewer mail segments, peas apologizes for the episode and 2018 in general. With the final show of the year in the can, Fidd & Faux pack the entire season in a truck and drive it into Yucca Mountain.

It's Christmas, and Jesus doesn't look a day over 1500. Papa Faux learns what a SubGenius is after discovering how easy it is to make Fidd take unidentified medication. Peas reveals the secrets he learned in "radio school". The hosts do their famous "intro trick", which is where they burn the first 75% of the show talking about what's going to happen during the remaining 25%. Peas uses a month's worth of cow lube and a battering ram to attempt to force a bit where Rudolph the Reindeer is a guest on the show (Teller was funnier). Inside jokes and references to past shows litter everything before the first song break. ISIS gets a pass in the spirit of the season during The Blind Eye, which is followed by a Scalpod-hosted round of Is It A Band. Both segments only take about three minutes each. Fidd announces the Is It A Band trading card series! After the final music break, the sacred on-air live sound check is consecrated, which is followed by a viewer mail segment in which less than half of the submis

Fidd is back in the studio from Tampax, Florida just in time to regret it! Doktor Faux scores BIG by registering the somehow-yet-unregistered web domain: TimeForTheShow.com. Faux responds to peas's claim of being depressed by steamrolling over everything peas says in the first hour. peas attempts to smooth things over with Faux with what he calls a "radio trust fall". Peas has a van: Adventure-1. In the Blind Eye segment, peas chooses the United Stated federal government just because he owes them several thousand dollars. The logistics of subcontracting as a stripper at Red Lobster are discussed before Reverend Scalpod joins the show to officiate IS IT A BAND. The merits of drinking root beer from a pug-dog skull are mentioned amonsgt the rest of the viewer mail, after which the hosts eventuate another segment of "Messiah or Pariah?", with the focus being on VAPING. At the end of the show, peas does what he does best and apologizes for the whole episode. restoring our standing in the community back up

Peas has fled the country in an attempt to create an off-shore bank-account but doesn't know there aren't any on the beach. Doktor Cosmac arrives to attempt to replace peas, but who are we kidding. Aster Six shows up as well and the GANG plays Is it a Band  with a new list by Cosmac. Pee-Wee Herman is the subject of this week's Messiah or Pariah and Faux begs the viewers to tell a friend about the show. Won't YOU?

After the previous show's debacle Doktor Engineer Doktor Faux rebuilds the HyperCOMM voice-bridge just in time for the Show's newest friend: Chris. Hailing from parts unknown, Chris enters the satellite studio in Las Vegas, Utah with peas and immediately begins challenging every authority on the show. After stealing the mic away from peas, Chris unleashes THREE (3) BLIND-EYES. Doktor Cosmac (COSMAC'S COMMANDOS) shows up to judge Is it a Band before viewer mails and voicemails are quickly overlooked and then a NEW GAME: Messiah or Pariah. The guys debate over Chuck E. Cheese's position in society before Fidd tells a wholesome family story about the BALL PIT. Peas apologizes and everyone tells Chris how great he is.

Fidd Chewley is calling in from Tampax again, which results in the show being mostly unlistenable (so on-par) . In this super-condensed episode the guys turn blind eyes which results in peas achieving his first "solid" erection as he goes on to tell Fidd how good his blind-eye was for the rest of the show.

A new sponsor: Betty Crocker's Poop Roll-Ups.  Time is fake because calendars are gay.  Faux tells a joke.  The TIME FOR THE SHOW "Take Kids Around the World" charity.  Fidd is a WWII veteran.  Warren Alexander Peas attends a cockfight.  Jodi Arias is a Truly Chewley.  Canadian Felon summer camp.  Who peed in your bongwater?  A highly surmountable problem.  BLIND EYES!  Peas disapproves of Fidd's Blind Eye.  DIWS: Douche-Induced Whiplash Syndrome.  Mature language is immature.  IS IT A BAND -->  Round one: Bicyclops.  Round two: Insecurity Council.  Round three: Stinkfinger.  Round four: The Radioactivists.  Viewer mail: "What happened to the funny parts of the show?"  Reverend 80: champion rubberbandist.  Peas explains to you why you're listening to this show.  Arli$$.  We kiss each other.  Weekly Patreon love.  CARBONATED BREAST MILK?!?!  Sometimes a microphone is just a microphone.  Luther Vandross and the salamanderizer.  The photo of Fidd sleeping in his duckie shirt.  Sternfan101 is the Arli$$ of peas. 

Fidd is drunk. Caller #23 joins the show as peas's understudy. Daylight Savings Time, Ontario, 1908. Hitler was the first in space. Fidd sneezes drunkenly. Our Discord's users' meme war. Calvin peeing on Calvin. Peas pokes fabric. Fidd is drunk. RIP Whitey Bulger. Peas gets racialist. Jodi Arias sends Fidd some bagels. The reason crazy kids aren't allowed gum. Is Peas our Klinger or our Radar? Who are you vaping? "Unicorn space jism". The twenty-third caller. Patreon love. Fidd is drunk. Doesn't Faux know it's just a show? Fidd's disambidextrous throne. Hazel of the Windmills's fourtune read by peas. Fidd drunkenly interprets a bible verse for Hazel. The Google Play link. Peas leaves Caller #23 in charge. IS IT A BAND?! Caller #23 apologizes for the show on behalf of peas.

Doing show #3 material on show #42. Peas explains how to get even. Let's cuss! Numbers make peas cough. Fidd bails peas out. Reverend Evan Stronge. Viewer mail (take one). Carrots's nice letter to the mailman. Viewer mail (take two). Bed Bath & Beyond is secretly a titty bar.

Box tragedy update. The three Ps of perfect peas publicity. What NOT to do. Obligitory PSA. Disclaimer, ahoy! Mail fraud "might" be illegal. The real porch pirates of Las Vegas. Episode art contest! Whoopin' Faux. One last voicemail. The Kenny Floyd award. Weezer concerts, rum, and "findoras". Peas apologizes. Fidd apologizes to peas. Peas apologizes more. Faux apologizes to Gavin McInnes. THANK YOU!

This week Peas is back and full of vinegar as he discovers an exciting new way to waste taxpayer's money. Fidd Chewley grasps the desk and holds on for dear life as the cosmos spins around him while Doktor Faux manages the comm board with exactly ONE more beer in him than usual. Peas then interviews Faux as practice for his still-upcoming new show, and the boys talk crap about China. Scalpod shows up to host/judge "Is It A Band" and Peas apologizes for all the extra salt he threw on the show this week!

NOTICE: THIS EPISODE IS FOR DISPLAY PURPOSES ONLY. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO PLAY THIS EPISODE.

Here is the dilemma in the face of the task of writing the notes for this show: either you're a big fan, in which case I don't need to write notes given that you're going to listen to the whole episode anyway -- OR -- you AREN'T going to listen to this episode, but for some reason are still reading these words, in which case I'm curious as to why you're reading notes to a show you're not ear-chowing, BUT THAT'S OKAY! This is the second-and-final episode in-a-row in which Doktor Faux was away from Hypercube and so Fidd Chewley had to play "Guest Engineer". Co-HMFIC of Free Think Radio, Marthartha, officiates this week's round of Is It a Band, which ends up getting stretched out by the hosts to a 45-minute segment. So, okay, it ran a little bit long. So what?! We don't shoot until we see THE PINKS OF THEIR EYES! Oh, you didn't get the joke?? Well, GOOD FUCKIN' LUCK, buddy, because the Slack Train ROLLS ON!! Aliens ABILLIONFUCKIN years from now will unearth this episode, and they will know if YOU were in on the

"It was in a mirror, at some time, in some place, that the first act of recognition occurred, the point when man stared into the ocean, saw his face in its infinity, grew anxious, and began to ask, ‘Who is that?...’" Sándor Márai: Casanova in Bolzano

Do you not know, Asclepius, that Egypt is an image of heaven, or, to speak more exactly, in Egypt all the operations of the powers which rule and work in heaven have been transferred to earth below? Nay, it should rather be said that the whole Kosmos dwells in this our land as in its sanctuary. And yet, since it is fitting that wise men should have knowledge of all events before they come to pass, you must not be left in ignorance of this: there will come a time when it will be seen that in vain have the Egyptians honoured the deity with heartfelt piety and assiduous service; and all our holy worship will be found bootless and ineffectual. For the gods will return from earth to heaven. Egypt will be forsaken, and the land which was once the home of religion will be left desolate, bereft of the presence of its deities. This land and region will be filled with foreigners; not only will men neglect the service of the gods, [...] and Egypt will be occupied by Scythians or Indians or by some such race from the

This week's show is brought to you by Respectacles, the eyeglasses that improve your vision AND your hatred of minorities!! So much has happened since last week's episode that we didn't even address any of it! The best podcasts leave all the content to the imagination of the listener, lest the show be spoiled. Doktor Faux takes an entire morgue hostage and threatens to shoot a corpse every hour until the United Nations issues a statement affirming that the vein in his nutsack is "normal" and "totally does NOT look weird". Fidd talks about his experience taking third place in the rolling-paper-airplane championships. Peas apologizes for missing last week's show, then, as usual, he duly apologizes for NOT missing this week's show. Dok Cosmac once again joins the show as the guest judge for "Is It a Band?" This is the part of the episode description where I cut superficial wounds on my arm in a desperate bid for your attention.

You're going to SHIT YOUR FACE IN HALF when you hear this one! Reverand [sic] peas [sic] didn't show up to this episode, probably because it's Labor Day and he got too shit-housed to do the show -- BUT THAT'S OKAY, because Doktor Cosmac, the Cheap Engineer of Hypercube Labs, joins Faux & Fidd for the entire show and officiates this week's "Is It a Band" with guest contestant, Cat Feather! Fidd teaches the kids what NOT to do by emptying the contents of a road flare onto a paper plate and snorting it...again. Doktor Faux reminds you what that really funny joke was that you thought of that one time, but forgot. Elon Musk calls in to admit that he's an unused Hideo Kojima villain who escaped into the real world.

This one is ROUGH. Fidd and Faux are in a post-peas-problem state and struggle to rally for the show. Fortunately, Langford the Lungist calls in to explain why vaping M&Ms is better for you than smoking them. In addition to the Kenny Floyd award, Peas earns a platinum XBox achievement for stepping on 100% of Fidd's jokes. Dok Cosmac jumps into the HyperCOMM to officiate our new game: "Is It A Band". Scalpod gets jealous and accuses Cosmac of being a douchejockey. HMFIC of FTR, Dr Ellis, unveils the new Fidd Chewley fashion action playset. Overall, this one SUCKS! Enjoy.

You are going to SHIT YOUR FACE IN HALF when you hear this episode! Ready to make the most exciting two-hour mistake of your life? If so, don't miss a single syllable! In addition to answering viewer mail, turning blind eyes toward ISIS, and playing "Is It a Band", Sean Connery calls in to talk about how to pay for whores with Bitcoin. It doesn't take a psychic meteorologist to tell you why a basketball won't fit in your ass, so why would you trust one to interpret the crop circles in your pubes?? YOU WOULDN'T!! That's why we do what we do.