Robot Monk Xian'er

我们应该如何看待人情世故？How should we view human feelings? 不离人情，关键看自己的发心。Not departing from human feelings, the keypoint rests in our aspiration.应该怎样发心？How should I arouse my aspiration?     想让我们的心更加开放、灵活、勇猛，要穿上慈悲的铠甲，拿上智慧的宝剑，把内心的无明与障碍扫除。仅仅寻求答案解决不了问题，只有修行的过程才能解决问题。In order to make our hearts more open,flexible and brave, we should put on the armor of kindness and compassion, takethe sword of wisdom, and remove the ignorance and obstacles from our hearts.Mental problems cannot be solved just by seeking answers, but by the process ofcultivation and practice.哦，我明白了。谢谢老师的指导！！Oh, I see. Thank you Teacher for yourguidance!  !    不客气。My pleasure.

应该怎么办？What should I do?不要当做还债，要当做结善缘。Don't treat it as paying a debt,but view itas making good connections.那别人帮了你，也应该有所回馈吧。If you got help from someone else, youshould also give something back.    把心放开，欢喜地接受他人的帮助，对方能感到付出的快乐，这也是一种回馈；进一步，把这种温暖传递给更多的人，则是更好的感恩。Open your heart and joyfully accept thehelp from others, then they can also feel the joy of giving. This is also akind of giving back.  Whats more, it is abetter gratitude to pass this warmth to more people.哦，应该大大方方地接受帮助才对呀。Oh, I should be natural and poised toaccept help.       勇敢的接受爱、快乐的传递爱，就是对每一个想让世界更美好的人最好的回报和响应。Brave acceptance of love and joyfultransmission of love are the best reward and response to everyone who wants tomake the world better.

对，就是不愿欠人情。Yes. I just don't want to owe interpersonaldebt.“欠人情”的心态，感恩心少而不安更多，因为担心自己将来还人情的麻烦，无形中把人与人之间的关心帮助当做了交换，这是一种自我包裹的表现，是内心虚弱、自卑、怕受伤害的表现。The mentality of "owing interpersonaldebt" implies less gratitude and more restlessness for fear of the troubleof returning a favor in the future, imperceptibly taking the interpersonal careas an exchange. This is a behaviour of self-wrapping, a symptom of innerweakness, self-abased and fear of being hurt.为什么会这样呢？Why is this so?       这种心理就是过于在意自己。This kind of psychology isfeatured by taking too much care about self. 

提问（金心）Question ( By Jin Xin)回 答（贤勇）Answer ( By Xian Yong) 我特别害怕求人，如果谁帮了我就总想着怎么赶紧把这份情还回去，心里沉甸甸的。您帮我分析分析这是怎么回事。I am particularly afraid to ask for help. If anyone helps me, I always think about how to return it quickly, loaded with heavy psychological burden.  Please help me analyze what’s going on in my mind. 这就是世间的“人情债”。This is the “interpersonal debt” in the world. 对，就是不愿欠人情。Yes. I just don't want to owe interpersonal debt. “欠人情”的心态，感恩心少而不安更多，因为担心自己将来还人情的麻烦，无形中把人与人之间的关心帮助当做了交换，这是一种自我包裹的表现，是内心虚弱、自卑、怕受伤害的表现。The mentality of "owing interpersonal debt" implies less gratitude and more restlessness for fear of the trouble of returning a favor in the future, imperceptibly taking the interpersonal care as an exchange. This is a behaviour of self-wrapping, a symptom of inner weakness, self-abased and fear of being hurt.

有很多假冒的乞讨者利用我们的同情心骗取钱财，收入比我们还高。我们该如何面对那些乞讨者？Many fake beggars take advantage of ourcompassion to defraud, making even more money than we do. How should we dealwith such beggars?         把重点放在自己的善业上，懂得自己在做什么，就不会总是随着外境而转。无论他人如何，自己造一份善业，终不会被业果欺骗。Focus on your own good deeds and know whatyou are doing, and you will be immune to the external phenomena. No matter whatothers do, you will never be deceived by the karmic law when you create a goodkarma.假乞丐不碍真布施，只要自己的布施心是真诚的、无悔的，那也是成就了一份善业；如果自己做不到，走过他时内心发一个善愿，愿将来自己能以佛法布施给他，也很好；或感慨于现在社会缺乏诚信、沉迷物欲的大环境，把自己的时间、精力、金钱投入到信得过的团体，发心去改善，同样很好。False beggars do not hinder true giving. Aslong as we give alms with no regret but sincerity, that will constitute a goodkarma; if you are unable to do so, it is also good to make a good wish as youpass by, or to invest your time, energy and money in the group you trust withan aspiration for improvement, when you are concerned about the lack of goodfaith in the present society and the indulgence in an environ

亏欠心与感恩心该如何区分？ How to distinguish between a heart of thanksgiving and a feeling of debt?  亏欠的感觉，内心是封闭的，会感到欠了别人的人情、恩情而沉重不安，感恩心则是一种开放、坦然、真心实意的欢喜。虽都是受了他人的帮助，但前者是烦恼，后者是善法，源于自己内心不同方向的思维习惯。A feeling of debt is a closed state of mind that makes one feel burden and unease due to owing the favor and kindness of others. Whereas a heart of thanksgiving is an open, calm and sincere joy. In the case of receiving help from others, the former is bound by afflictions, while the latter is filled with virtues, both of which derive from different thinking habits in different directions.

对骗子短暂的慈悲可能会助长他们不劳而获的习气，如果拒绝施舍可以促使他们改变，从而走上正道不是更好么？Temporary compassion for deceivers may reinforce their habit of getting something for nothing. Wouldn’t it be better if refusal to give could prompt them to change and get on the right path?  首先要有利益众生的悲悯心，进一步才会思考如何去利益众生。慈悲心是自己的心，不是外在的行为。慈悲柔软了自己的心，外在的行为可以根据因缘灵活多变。对于大多数人来说，恰恰是缺乏慈悲心，一味在外相上去计较分别。 First of all, we must develop compassion for all sentient beings, and then we can think about how to benefit them all. Compassion is an internal instead of external behavior. With compassion softening our own hearts, we can flexibly adjust our extrinsic actions according to causes and conditions. For most of us, it is precisely the lack of compassion within that makes us blindly focus on differentiation among external appearances. 社会上有些拐卖集团经常将一些儿童弄成残废后放在街上乞讨，我们就算以慈悲心、结善缘心给予儿童施舍，可能反令拐卖集团觉得此举有利可图，更多的拐卖伤害儿童，行乞牟利。坊间对于施还是不施也各执一词，我们该如何看待这个问题呢？Some trafficking groups often cripple children and then leave them begging on the streets. Even if we give alms to th

分不清真假乞丐时，我担心被骗，不愿意给骗子送钱，但就这么走过，心里同情又愧疚。该怎样办呢？ When I couldn't tell a real beggar from a fake one, I was afraid of being cheated and was reluctant to give money to a swindler, just walking by with sympathy and guilt. How to cope with that case?我们通常认为身体上的苦是苦，而忽视被烦恼蒙蔽的心灵之苦。被骗的人固然苦，骗人的人同样也是苦，当发大愿心拔除一切众生的苦及苦因。We usually think of physical pain as suffering, but ignore the mental suffering that is concealed by afflictions. As both the deceived and the deceiver suffer, we should vow to eliminate the suffering and its cause of all beings. 现在社会上有人专门碰瓷，有人专门假扮乞丐，我们还应该去扶他们，施舍他们吗？如果我们盲目地做好事，会纵容这些错误吗？Nowadays, some people specialize in racketeer, and some in pretending to be beggars in society. Should we still go to help them or give them charity? If we do good deeds blindly, will we pamper such mistakes?你可以布施笑容、布施正气、布施智慧。做好事不能盲目。You can give them smiles, righteousness and wisdom. Good deeds should not be done blindly.

老师好，在大街上总是遇到乞丐，无法判断是真是假，不知该不该布施，请您指导。Venerable Master, I come across beggars inthe streets very often, but can’t tell if theyare fake or not. I wonder if I should give them alms. Would you please give meyour guidance?        请讲。 Goahead.昨天我看到一个中年妇女在红绿灯路口要钱，我给了她，但下一个路口还有一个在要钱，我迷茫了，不知道这是在积善还是在助长别人的恶业？Yesterday, I saw a middle-aged woman askingfor money at an intersection, and then I gave her some. But at the nextintersection, there was another one asking for money. I was at a loss, notknowing whether I was accumulating merits or encouraging others’ evil karma.         布施是为了破除我们自己的悭吝之心。Giving alms is to eliminate one’s ownstinginess.

怎么去努力呢？ How do you do that? 在平常的生活中，要多练习去看一个人的优点和付出，增长自己的感激之心。也就是多培养感恩心、惭愧心、慈悲心。这几种心的特质跟嗔心恰好相反，就像水与火一样，培养这几种心，就好比把内心的易燃物换成柔软清凉的净水，火就烧不起来了。In ordinary life, practice looking for a person’s merits and efforts to grow our appreciation, that is, to cultivate a sense of gratitude, shame and compassion, the mental traits of which are exactly the opposite to that of hatred, like water and fire. To cultivate these mentalities is to replace the inflammable inside with soft, cool, and clean water, providing no conditions for potential risks of fire. 现在社会上好多人特别容易愤怒，动不动就暴力解决问题，伤害无辜。为什么会这样？ Nowadays, many people are quite short tempered, liable to use violence to solve problems, thus hurting the innocent. Why is that? 人越来越容易愤怒，是因为人心越来越脆弱，越来越没有力量，找不到安心之处。If people are more easily to flare up, that’s because they become so fragile and strengthless that they can’t settle their minds. 心灵的力量要从宁静中得到，心的安宁才是生命真正的家园。The strength of mind comes from tranquility, and a peaceful mind is the true home of life.

暴躁的性格能改得了吗？Is it possible to change the short-tempered character? 要改掉一个坏习惯，最好的办法莫过于培养一个好习惯。The best way to get rid of a bad habit is to develop a good one. 人的心念不是一成不变的，而是一念一念不断流转、变化的，犹如一条奔腾的河流，如果我们不断向这个河流中加入脏东西，它就越来越黑；如果我们不断清理污垢，它就越来越清。Our thoughts are not unchangeable, flowing one after another like a rushing river. If we keep adding the dirt to the river, it will become darker and darker; If we keep cleaning the dirt, it will get clearer and clearer. “生气”是一种思维习惯，总是发脾气，这个习气就越来越顽固，性格就越来越暴躁；不断改变内心，脾气就越来越小。"Getting angry" is a thinking habit. If you lose your temper all the time, you will reinforce the bad habit and make your character increasingly irritable; Keep changing your mind, and you’ll become less grumpy. 师父，我很易怒，常常控制不住自己发脾气，但事后又后悔，有什么好方法可以控制发脾气吗？ Master, I am irritable and often lose my temper uncontrollably, but later I regret it. Is there a good way to control my temper? 脾气暴躁、易怒，就好比内心堆满了易燃物——“嗔烦恼”，外境一点火星就容易引发大火。消防之道，重在平常之防，真正引发火灾后再救是万不得已的办法，而且再怎么救，也会造成很大的损失。Grumpiness and irrita

我总控制不住自己，为世俗的一些不公平或者小事而生气，如何能够保持清净之心？ I tend to be so carried away that I get angry at some secular injustices or trifles. How can I keep a peaceful mind ?  生气不如争气。It’s better to win happily than to get angry. 为什么我嗔恨心那么强，每天怨气那么重？如何化解内心的暴戾之气？ Why do I hate so much that I feel so angry every day? How to dissolve my inner cruelness and fierceness?   要用善法把自己身心充实起来，才能有力量去控制脾气、善待他人。Enrich your body and mind with wholesome teachings, and you can cultivate the strength to control your temper and be kind to others. 若自己内心空虚，行动又不努力，整个人是没有能量的，就会被烦恼控制。If you have no clear goals in mind and no commitment to hard work, you will have no energy to control yourself but fall prey to afflictions.

我一遇到棘手的事或是赶时间，就很容易生气着急，一不小心就把身边的人给伤害了，我该怎样调节呢？ I’m quite anger-prone as I’m in a rush or when things get tough, accidentally getting people around hurt. How can I regulate myself to avoid such a case?  发怒时决不要轻易开口，此时一出口便是伤人伤己之言。此时最好能够远离境界，自己独处，慢慢静下来。不管心中有多勉强，要尽量念诵佛菩萨圣号；如果有佛像，拜佛效果会更好。  Never blurt out when you are angry. To blurt out at this point is to hurt both self and others. It is best to keep away from the circumstances at that moment and stay alone to calm down slowly. However reluctant you are, try to recite the holy names of the Buddha and bodhisattvas; if there is a statue of Buddha, it’ll be even better to worship Buddha. 生气的根源是什么？我脾气不好，总是动不动就发脾气，大吼大叫，控制不住，有什么办法吗？ What is the root cause of anger? I have a bad temper. I always spin out of control and lose my temper easily by yelling at others. Is there any way to help me out?  愤怒是一种显现，根源是对自我的执著。当我们对别人不满的时候，通常都没看到自己的缺点。Anger is a manifestation of self-attachment. When we are dissatisfied with others, we usua

老师好，脾气不好，很容易发火，怎么破？Hello Master, I have a bad temper and tend to fly off the handle. How to tackle this problem? 有佛法就有办法。 Where there is Buddha Dharma, there is a way. 老师，嗔怒情绪来的时候怎么办，明知道生气发怒让自己心疼发抖，但是就是控制不住，这个当下该怎么办呢？强忍不是更伤身吗？ Master, could you tell us how to deal with the feeling of anger when it arises? I knew my anger was so terrible that my teeth ached, but I just can't help it. I wonder how to cope with it instantly? Won’t it be worse if I just smother my anger?   暂时远离这个境，深呼吸几分钟，观想自己吸入清净白气，呼出烦恼黑气；或可念佛数百声。You’d better stay away from the ambience for the moment. Try to take deep breaths for a few minutes, then visualize yourself inhaling pure white air and exhaling vexed black air; you may chant the Buddha’s name hundreds of times as well.

这些方法我也都试过，可是觉得不管用，我的拖延症是不是治不好了！I've tried them all, but I don't think theywork. I wonder if my procrastination is incurable!   不管用多少理由去分析，用多少方法去辅助，最根本的一点就是要马上去做。“等我找到办法克服了拖延症就好了”，这个想法本身就是拖延的一个借口。只有去做才能改善状况，不可能等着情况变好了再去行动，那只是一个妄想。Whatever reasons you’ve got in youranalysis and whatever methods can be used as an aid, the most fundamental pointis just do it right away. The idea of “just wait until I find a way to overcomeprocrastination” in itself is an excuse for procrastination. Only by doing canwe improve the situation. It is impossible for us to wait for things to getbetter before we take action. It is no more than a delusion.这种坏毛病是在无数念头的累积中养成的，已经是一个果相，改善唯一的方法就是种正确的因，哪怕一时做不到，也要一点点培养，就从现在开始。培养好习惯，才能改掉坏习惯。This bad habit is developed in theaccumulation of countless thoughts. It has already become a phase of result.The only way to improve it is to have a correct cause. Even if you cannot do itfor a while, you should start from now and cultivate it bit by bit. Only bycultivating good habits can we get r

还有时，我觉得自己不想做这件事的原因是觉得这件事情不合适。如何区别这是拖延症，还是这件事情确实不适合自己呢？At other times, I think the reason for myreluctance in doing things is the idea that I’m not suitable to do it. How to distinguish procrastinationfrom  unsuitability?    对自己所走的路失去了信心，心就会抗拒、徘徊，行为就会软弱无力，一切看似合理的理由都是在找借口而已。If you lose confidence in the path you havetaken, you heart will resist and wander, and your will be weak in action. Anyplausible reason is making an excuse.我们做一件事，最重要的不是兴趣，而是意义。越是有意义的事情，困难会越多，这就要靠我们的愿力与智慧去面对，愿力决定始终，智慧决定成败。The most importance of our doings lies notin our interest but their significance. The more meaningful they are, the moredifficulties there will be, which depends on our aspiration and wisdom to face.Aspiration runs through the process of actions, and wisdom determines theirsuccess.初发心往往会因为现实的阻碍而减弱，这是人之通病，所以我们很强调“勿忘初心”。Original aspiration tends to be weakened bythe obstacles in reality, which is a common issue for human beings. Therefore,we place great emphasis on “never forget the initial aspiration” .那

究竟是什么原因导致的拖延症呢？What on earth leads to procrastination?       拖延症有很多原因：畏难情绪、侥幸心理等等，而当它成为一个习惯之后，这个惯性的力量就成为了最重要的原因。There are many causes of procrastinationsuch as fear of difficulties, fluke mind, etc.. After forming a habit, theforce of such psychological inertia becomes the most important cause ofprocrastination.遇到困难，做不下去怎么办？What if I can't go on when encounteringdifficulties?  当我们做事遇到困难时，要问一下：我们做的东西是不是我们要的？如果是我们要的东西，是我们追求的东西，我们就要一以贯之，勇往直前，永不退缩，往下做，往下学，最后事业就成功了。When we encounter difficulties in doingthings, we should ask ourselves: is it what we want? If so, we should keep atit bravely and never back down. Conversely, we should forge ahead and continueto learn until we eventually succeed in career.搞任何事情都不能有一种应付的心理，都要一鼓作气，还要越做越好，越做越大，不然人就完了。Nothing can be done without a seriousattitude. One has to get it done at one go and make it better and bigger, orelse he’ll end up in going down.

老师好，有些很烦恼的事，想请您帮忙解答！Dear teacher, I’ve got something vexing. Could you please help me out? 请讲。Yes, please.我行动力非常缺乏，老是拖拖拉拉，常常把自己拉到焦虑和抑郁的边缘，都快崩溃了！您帮帮我吧！I’m starved of impetus and always procrastinate until the last moment,thus dragging myself into anxiety and depression, and even a breakdown! Pleasehelp me!      拖延症是一种典型的不理智行为，被情绪所控制而白白浪费许多时间，越是如此心中焦虑越深，于是情绪越重，形成恶性循环。Procrastination is a typical irrational actionsubject to emotions and wastes a lot of time. The more anxious you are, themore intense your ill emotions become. Then a vicious circle comes into being.负面情绪的产生，不是事情太多，而是最重要的一件事情没有做，一直沉甸甸地压在心头。Negative emotions are not due to too manythings undone, but due to the most important thing that has not been done yetand has been weighing heavily on your mind.许多人喜欢把最难的一件事放在最后去做，其实是一种潜在的逃避。内心深处的畏难、愧疚、担忧慢慢堆积，便形成“压力山大”，越发感到困难和畏惧。Many people like to postpone the mostdifficult thing to the end. This is actually a potential escape. Utmost fear ofdifficulties, a sense of guilt and worry slowly accu

在生活中总能遇到“三个和尚没水吃”的情况。懒惰，等待别人似乎是没有办法解决的问题，要怎么办呢？应该视而不见和别人一起等待，还是永远自己替别人去挑水？The case of “three monkshave no water to drink” always occursin life. Laziness and dependence seem to be a problem that cannot be solved.How to cope with it? Turn a blind eye to wait along with others, or alwayscarry water for somebody else?     “挑水”并不是为了别人，而是为了自己。人总喜欢算计，怕自己吃亏，结果是自他俱损；不计较付出与所得，心甘情愿“吃亏”，利他的同时更是利己，吃亏是福！ “Carry water” is not forsomebody else, but for ourselves. If one always prefer calculation for fear ofsuffering losses, it will bring about the losses of others and oneself. If onedoes not fuss about his sacrifices and gains but volunteers to “suffer losses”,it will benefit oneself as well as others. That’s why sacrifices becomeblessings!老话总说：吃亏是福，无助者天助。人真的因为厚道不计较得失而得到上天厚爱吗？An old saying goes that sacrifices bring about blessings, and Heavenhelps the helpless. Is it true that one can receive great kindness from Heavenfor his own kindness of not bothering about personal gains and losses?   &nbs

为了强大，就得让心变硬、变坏吧！所以有那么多善良的人在这世间经历生活之后变成一个丑陋的人，变成世俗之人！Probably, in order to be strong, we have to harden our heart and getit gone bad. That’s why so many kindpeople have become ugly and worldly after going through ups and downs in thismundane world!      善良是不容置疑的，唯有善良才能带给人心最究竟的平静与快乐。很多人不能坚持善良，是因为内心对道之真理不清楚，不明白，在境界面前产生了怀疑与动摇，其结果是为了一时小利而失去了生命大利，从更长远、更究竟的层面看，对自己是伤害而不是保护。Kindness is beyond all doubt. Only kindness can bring peopleultimate peace and happiness. That many people cannot insist on kindness is dueto their having no inner understanding of the truth but doubts and vacillationson the lofty realms. Consequently, they lost great benefits of life for pettygains. From a long-term and ultimate perspective, such a state of mind willhurt rather than to protect themselves.强大并不是要通过放弃善良来完成。我们要做的，是努力让自己的善心更有智慧和力量。Strength is not achieved by giving up kindness. What we have to dois try our best to equip our good heart with more insight and power.说到提升智慧，这个智慧到底是什么样的呢？我怎么觉得好心人在这社会上就像毫无防护的蚕宝宝。When it co