How To Stop Wanting Him Back

Most of us feel worst, especially if you're brokenhearted, as we are juggling our emotions along with losing human connections because of social distancing, which is necessary right now as we are getting through a pandemic. That's okay. Emotional pain, rejection, and loneliness are just those human emotions that we constantly experience throughout our lives. As Jamie beautifully put it from our last episode, there's never a time not to unconditionally love yourself, however, if you keep on indulging the same thought all over again, that creates a trigger within you, then you need to snap out of it! Yes, you have time to be hard on yourself or time of longing for your ex, and even time to be depressed, but ask yourself, why would you use your time in such a way?  Don't let this pandemic be an excuse for not reaching out to others. This is the opportunity to heal, grow, and appreciate yourself. Be responsible for the thoughts you are creating.  Investigate your thoughts, that's where it all starts. However, if

A lot of us feel lonely, bored, out of focus, or spaced out with the ongoing isolation to the real world because of the pandemic, and if you just consider the positive side that this caused us, you would realize that this is the best time to heal, grow, and set your perspectives, especially if you're in the midst of a broken heart. I am happy to be with bestie Jamie today, as we discuss and answer some of the questions which are bothering you, and help you see the silver lining of Covid-19. Jamie is an incredible health and wellness coach, specializing in all things natural and organic. To hear a previous episode with Jamie, What to Eat on a Broken Heart, check it out here: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcast/2019/8/12/what-to-eat-on-a-broken-heartThe seclusion triggers non-stop thinking about your ex, and you end up longing for that person who just vanished out of your life without explanation. Contemplating calling him because let's face it, you're lonely and deprived of the human touch, and thinki

What's so wrong with asking how your ex-boyfriend thinks or how those unavailable men think? Simple. It does not matter anymore! Get a grip and focused on your healing, on how you should change your mindset to attract Mr. Available into your life. Instead of wasting time with those men, why not put your time into use by creating positive vibes to attract a person who is for you. Remember, your thoughts create your reality. A woman who can think for herself, and put herself on the pedestal, will completely attract the ideal person, who will be a perfect fit for her. I never say that it's going to be easy for us to move through the harsh realities of failures, especially relationships. But it also takes courage to accept frailties and learn from it and become a better version of yourself. Just get over and done with all the BS in your life. The person who can infuriate you is yourself.I am so excited to have my friend Jamie McKeown, back on the podcast to have this conversation. She is an incredible health and

Befriending loneliness. Who wants that? I was working with a client recently who realized that she was in a pattern of being in unsatisfying relationships. She recognized that she was the common denominator and that she was seeking out these relationships because she didn’t want to be lonely. If you are going through this and are struggling with loneliness, I want to help guide you through the process of giving yourself love and compassion, leaning into the challenges, and being your true self because it works. Topics in this episodeWhat if you allowed yourself to just be with the loneliness?Notice your thoughts, and have compassion for themYou can be in a relationship and still be lonelyThe gateway to truly loving yourselfDocument the thoughtsPut the screens downWhere are you storing the loneliness in your body?Life is not black and white ResourcesMy rock bottom heartbreak: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcast/2019/4/1/my-heartbreak-storyConversation with my former therapist Ashley Graber, Is It My G

I recently did a session with a new client and she said that all she wants is to stop thinking about him. In our session, the overriding thought, and I hear this from many of my clients, is that they are frustrated or sad because that person is in their mind 24/7. In this episode, I share with you why this kind of thinking isn’t serving you, and the questions you can ask yourself in order to end the unnecessary pain of breaking your own heart. Topics in this episodeThe circumstance is always neutral Trying to force the pain awayThe more you resist, the more it will persist.One of the first steps to heal a broken heart is to allow for self-compassionWhat are the feelings you want to feel? Be realistic.What can you think in order to tap into those feelings? Why meditation is so important on this journeyResourcesMy rock bottom heartbreak: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcast/2019/4/1/my-heartbreak-storyBrooke Castillo’s podcast, The Lifecoach School: https://thelifecoachschool.com/podcasts/InSight Timer

Have you ever shared someone’s online dating profile to a friend, or multiple friends, and asked for their feedback? This is something a lot, if not all of us, do. I was recently working with a client on why she should stop polling her audience and that is what inspired this topic that I love. For years, I was polling the audience, until I realized that it never served me. Now that I am no longer doing that, and trusting myself, I have clarity in all areas of my life, and you can totally have that too. You have to be willing to show up and think and act differently, and I promise you will have the results you are seeking.Topics in this episodeMy rock bottom heartbreak: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcast/2019/4/1/my-heartbreak-storyBooke Castillo’s thought model: your thoughts create your resultsEpisode 1, All I Want Is For Him To Come Back: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcast/2019/3/4/all-i-want-is-for-him-to-come-backThe difference between bouncing things off your friends because you love

Hey guys, at the end of the episode, some of you may have gotten the version that mentioned Ashley Graber would be on the show. Unfortunately, we won't be able to record that in time so that episode will be pushed back.Listener Questions:How to end it with someone you no longer have feelings for, but deeply care for?How do you break down the walls that you’ve built, and keep your heart open in the world of online dating when it just feels like there are no decent men left?When is the right to meet someone in person that you met online?Why does he keep coming back?When is the right time to date after heartbreak?References:It’s Possible Mr Right Exists: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcast/2019/11/3/its-possible-mr-right-existsMy episode with my former therapist, Ashley Graber, Is it my gut or my projection? https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcast/2019/10/28/is-it-my-gut-or-my-projection-with-ashley-graberMy episode with Jamie, What to eat on a broken heart: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/pod

Previously mentioned episodesBumble Shmumble, with Jamie Mckeown: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcast/2019/6/24/bumble-shmumbleMy rockbottom relationship, episode: 5https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcast/2019/4/1/my-heartbreak-story:Conversation with Ashley Graber, my former therapist: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcast/2019/10/28/is-it-my-gut-or-my-projection-with-ashley-graberTopics in this episodeChanging your victim story into your heroine storyThe detriment of “I am” statementsYou are going to attract anxiety-ridden situations when you think anxiety-ridden thoughts. What thoughts can you think to feel calm and curious instead of anxious?Sadness is not a bad thing, and sometimes you just need to be in your feelings.Why you should change up the people you are surrounding yourself with.The reward of doing personal development work.When you want to create your ideal partner, your thoughts create your results. You can be the transformation.Jamie’s Contact InfoWebsite: http://www.whole

I want to send so much love to you who are feeling extra heavy in their hearts this holiday season. We have all been through it, and I think these painful times are opportunities to show up, rise to the occasion, learn your deeper lesson, and completely thrive and soar because of it. This does not have to be every holiday season. I want to help give you tools to be able to get through the pain and this holiday season with strength and compassion. I love and believe in this work because I am a product of the product. This can be you as well. Topics in this episode:Defining clean pain versus dirty painBeing compassionate with yourselfRewriting shame storiesConsciously moving through the painGive yourself the closure you needDecide that your 2020 is going to be different How therapy can play a role in your healing. To hear more about the healing I went through, check out the conversation I had with my former therapist, Ashley Graber https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcast/2019/10/28/is-it-my-gut-or-my-proje

I pride myself on being a badass coach, and I also pride myself on being a very flawed human. I feel a lot of fear when I am opening up again, but I show up and I do the daily thought work, and I’m really loud and proud about that. In this episode, I discuss how to be tough on yourself, without shaming yourself. On the other end of the spectrum, it can also be really easy to let ourselves off the hook. So I also share why it is important for us to work hard and be hard on ourselves, in order to reach our goals.Topics in this episode:When we set higher goals for ourselves, there’s going to be a chance that we fail. Plugging a circumstance into the thought model How to be hard on yourself, without shaming yourself The layers of shame within, “I’m still not over him” The new, intentional, thought-model Redirecting the care to yourself The committed practice of thought models I have room for two new clients right now. Message me if you are ready to table the shame and put the pedal to the metal, and do the work t

Calling love in using Feng Shui is the work of Meghan Wallace-James. She finds ways to help people step into radical authenticity through their space, their style, and their sexuality. The byproduct is that their homes look really rad, wardrobes are on point, and that they’re are confident. After I moved into my new apartment in Beverly Hills, she came and helped me make some adjustments so I can call love in. I am currently having some fun in my love life, and it’s not so much about the person I’m dating, it’s more about the woman I am becoming, due to the work I’m doing as I did with Meghan. Topics in this Episode:It doesn’t matter if it’s been done. It’s important that there’s a plan in place.The merging of aesthetic and energetic. From seeing into being Changing up things in the bedroom to increase sexualityA touchstone to remind us of who we are actively calling in What do you see? How does it make you feel? Bagua map Responding to listener questionsContact Info:Website: https://www.meghanwallacejames.co

Is it my gut? Or is it my projection? This is the topic I discuss with Ashley Graber, who I am honored to have back as a guest in this episode. Ashley is a mindfulness-based psychotherapist, meditation teacher, and speaker. To hear our earlier conversation go to https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcast/2019/9/23/claire-interviews-her-past-therapist-ashley-graber. In this episode, we dive deep and talk about what projection is, how to recognize it, and how to train your intuition. Ashley also shares how important it is to slow down so that you can do more, and how that plays a role in hearing your intuition.Topics in this episode:How people earn our trust“Not having time” is a thought construct The glitter jarThe upside of projectionThe factors that mold our reality Why self love is so important to connecting with your intuition. To hear the episode where I discuss self-love at https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcast/2019/8/26/whats-self-love-really-aboutName it to tame it. Feel it to heal it. Contact

When a friendship ends, often, we experience heartbreak just like we do in romantic relationships. That is something that I had with today’s guest, Liz Elkins Newcomer. Liz was previously on episode 27 and we talked about heartbreak and the enneagram. At the end of that episode with Liz, I shared that we experienced some heartbreak with each other and our friendship. In this episode, we dive deeper into what lead to that, and how we both did the work, and have replaced that with something deeper and more real. Topics in this episode:How the enneagram type relates to friendshipsDon’t take it personallyOur enneagram types, and the defense mechanisms of those typesHow Liz was there for me when I was at rock bottom. To hear more about that time in my life, please listen to episode 5Building up “credit” in a friendshipBe the real you, not the ideal you We always find proof where we’re looking for itLinks in the discussion:Heartbreak and the enneagram with Liz Elkins Newcomer: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/p

Claire brings on one of her favorite people, Courtney Abbiati, who just so happens to be the owner of the most beautiful crystal company, The Urban and the Mystic.They discuss the powers of healing crystals and how they can support you, depending on what you're intending to call in, as well as the value of them.Great crystals to start out with for the crystal novice!Rose quartz, amethyst, black tourmalineCourtney is a phenomenal human. You can't NOT laugh in her presence and will def crack up at her analogies and brilliant ways she explains how powerfully crystals can enhance your life!Episode ReferencesThe Urban and The MysticClaire's rose quartz crystal to attract love into her life.Episode with Claire's therapist, Ashley GraberPalo Santo-- What it isCourse in Miracles

Mindfulness-based psychotherapist and one of Claire's greatest and most transformational healers, Ashley Graber, guests on How to Stop Wanting Him Back.Claire worked with Ashley for over 2.5 years, and is beyond honored to now call Ashley a dear friend and a colleague!They talk about the difference between coaching and therapy, as well as touch on EMDR, mindfulness, meditation, CBT, emotional regulation, and reactions vs responses.Claire shares details and anecdotes from her profound experience working through several heartbreaks with Ashley-- most importantly, moving through the trauma of her emotionally abusive relationship with her rockbottom ex.ReferencesAshley's website: http://www.ashleygrabertherapy.com/EMDR-- What is it?Thic Nhat Hanh-- Order his book, Anger

Claire brings on dear friend and Enneagram teacher, Liz Elkins Newcomer. Liz just so happens to also be one of the major Godsend angel's of Claire's during her rock bottom heartbreak story with a narcissistic sociopath, and introduced Claire to the Enneagram at the time. From Liz's site: The Enneagram is a powerful tool for self-discovery and transformation. “Ennea” is Greek for nine and “-gram” means drawing; the nine-pointed symbol illustrates nine different ways of showing up in the world. Each personality type has a specific worldview and core motivation that influences how they think, feel and act. The Enneagram has changed both Claire's and Liz's life in such a profound way. Liz breaks down the 9 types in this episode, and shows us how NOT PERSONAL HEARTBREAK actually is. References: Follow Liz @lizelkinsnewcomer Work with her: http://lizelkinsnewcomer.com/what-is-the-enneagram Brooke Castillo's Work

Claire was inspired to do this episode in response to hearing from several listeners and clients who desire to dig deeper on AUTHENTICALLY loving themselves. She hits home YET AGAIN on doing THOUGHT WORK to create REAL LOVE for yourself. She offers suggestions on better-feeling thoughts you can COMMIT to in order to yield the result of true unabashed love for yourself. Don't knock it til you've tried it!! Links to references: Claire's Heartbreak Story Episode 5 What Is Kundalini Yoga? Brooke Castillo-- The Life Coach School

Focusing on wanting a relationship to work in the future while it’s currently struggling, will F you up! Ask yourself : Why do I want to make this relationship work RIGHT NOW? And there has to be a better reason than love. Then if you are clear and do know you want to make it work for GOOD reasons, not desperate ones— get clear on what it is he/she wants and WHY. Then move through the challenges CONSCIOUSLY together, if you both are willing to move through the challenges together. Then what you DON’T do is RUSH into the next step of worrying about the relationship. You just BE in the relationship! Trust that the time to discuss the future will come from a place of security and love, and not desperation and fear.

Claire brings back her bestie and health coach, Jamie McKeowen, to discuss what you should eat on a broken heart. EATING WELL IS CRUCIAL at this time, despite many people's resistance to food, thanks to no appetite when moving through a lot of emotional pain. Jamie brings TONS of wisdom and tips on what to eat, what to avoid and AMAZING supplements you can take, that Claire herself uses and is obsessed with. References Follow Jamie @wholelifejems Reach out to work with Jamie and learn her story: www.wholelifejems.com Claire's latest article on Poosh: Stages to Get Over Mr. Wrong Claire's Heartbreak Story: Episode 5 Vegan Ice Cream Recommendations Van Leeuwen Vixen Kitchen So Delicious Luna & Larry’s Coconut Bliss Look for ‘ice creams’ with a base of coconut, cashew, almond or oat milk. Ideally go for one that has fewer ingredients and is free of gums and binders. Health(ier) Chips: Jackson’s Honest Siete Foods Late July Supplement Recommendations: WishGarden Herbs – wishgardenherbs.com Emotion

Claire gives a whole lotta TOUGH love in response to a question from a listener/reader that SO many women want to know the answer to-- including her bestie, Jamie Mckeowen, who she brings back again! REFERENCES from the episode. Remember her from the Bumble Shmumble episode? Jamie Mckeowen's Health Coaching site Claire's Nutrition Coach Jenny the Nutritionist Claire references yet again, her Heartbreak Story Claire's interview with her longest-standing client Rachel Coll.