Body Counts And Beer

We came, we saw, we rambled. This week, we had no plan. But we did have a special guest: Dee Amaral, previously heard on our RAMBO III episode. We cover just about nothing this time around, including: Jon becomes a Medium! Mark sends a message to Dennis Miller! Harsh words for Sean Penn! FAVORITE ACTION FIGURES! The Barbie Late Night Chat Show! Please subscribe via iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave us a rating and review so we can copy/paste them into celebrity Wikipedia pages! Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com/BodyCountCast Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/bodycountsandbeer/ Email us: bodycountsandbeer@gmail.com Let us know what you liked, what you hated, your favorite action figure, your least favorite New Kid on the Block, what movie to watch next or ANYTHING AT ALL!

Sledgehammer out your suitcase of gold coins and guns, because this week we're just in time to be too early for the third chapter in the John Wick franchise so we're discussing 2017's JOHN WICK: CHAPTER 2! Listen in as we men of focus do everything but focus on the details as we cover EVERYTHING you need to know, including: Terrible subway etiquette! An extended and terrible Robert DeNiro impression! Patrick reveals he was in HBO's John Adams miniseries! Jon rattles off all of New York's nicknames! Mark gets his Best Kill stolen multiple times! The Annual Professional Mohel Draft! Please subscribe via Apple Podcasts, SoundCloud, Stitcher or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave us a rating and review so we can send them as letters to the Marvel Bullpen! Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com/BodyCountCast Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/bodycountsandbeer/ Email us: bodycountsandbeer@gmail.com Let us know what you liked, what you hated, your favorite movie coronation scene, your least

Strap on your night vision goggles, make sure you have a full roll of gold coins and sign that contract, because this week, we're discussing our FAVORITE MOVIE HITMEN! Listen in as we discuss anything and everything Hit related, including: Possible Spinoff Podcasts! A terrible lesson in Canadian geography! Massive spoilers for No Country For Old Men! Captain Kirk's Five Year Murder Mission! Plus, Jon issues forth a challenge to one Dan Aykroyd! Please subscribe via iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave us a rating and review so we can plagiarize them to rate and review other podcasts! Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com/BodyCountCast Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/bodycountsandbeer/ Email us: bodycountsandbeer@gmail.com Let us know what you liked, what you hated, your favorite Hot Pocket, your least favorite Hungry Man Dinner, what movie to watch next or ANYTHING AT ALL!

Turns out Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves is NOT a perfect movie. Who knew? IMDB knew! And they were kind enough to share that info with us. This week, we're goofin' on all the Goofs from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves! Listen in as we cover ALL THE GOOFS: Goofs! Mark stands for Supermarket Sweep! More goofs! We misidentify Randy Quaid's Hollywood Star Whackers! Some goofs! Harsh words for Hamlet! Plus: MORE GOOFS! Please subscribe via iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave us a rating and review so we can sneak them into the word jumbles on the back of 80's cereal boxes! Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com/BodyCountCast Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/bodycountsandbeer/ Email us: bodycountsandbeer@gmail.com Let us know what you liked, what you hated, your favorite movie goof, your least favorite member of the Goof Troop, what movie to watch next or ANYTHING AT ALL!

Ignite your arrows and throw on a sloppy British accent, because this week we're finally discussing Mark's dream movie: ROBIN HOOD: PRINCE OF THIEVES! On this week's super sized episode, we cover everything and anything related to the Robin Hood mythos, including: Jon once again terrorizes Quebec! The glory of Rubberband Man! Mark's high school confessions! We name a bunch of Kevins! The proliferation of Basement Witches! PLUS: Fuzzy recollections of various Saturday morning cartoons! Please subscribe via iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave us a rating and review so we can FINALLY get back to that skywriter we keep on retainer! Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com/BodyCountCast Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/bodycountsandbeer/ Email us: bodycountsandbeer@gmail.com Let us know what you liked, what you hated, your favorite Muppet Show performance, your least favorite Muppets Tonight performance, what movie to watch next or ANYTHING AT ALL!

VROOM! Cover your car in cheap looking fiberglass and martial weapons, because this week we're taking you on a continental vehicular assault called DEATH RACE 2000! It's our first Roger Corman film, and god willing, our last! Bear with us as we try anything and everything to get through this bizarro look at the future of the year 2000: the power of colored pencils! A tribute to Luke Perry! Alternate Hitlers! Jon issues a challenge to Bill Murray! Mark reenacts the ending of The Breakfast Club! Time Travelin' Rambo! PLUS: the Patrick Bromley Rating System once again rears its ugly head. Please subscribe via iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave us a rating and review so we can transcribe it into the Book of Body Counts and Prophecies! Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com/BodyCountCast Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/bodycountsandbeer/ Email us: bodycountsandbeer@gmail.com Let us know what you liked, what you hated, your favorite Jimmer Fredette, your le

BLUE 42 ! BLUE 42! RAZOR! RAZOR! HIKE! These are sports words because we're talking about sports! This week, we're discussing our Favorite Fictional Sports, because only one and a half of us can discuss actual real life sports. Strap on your helmet and make sure your cup is in place as we cover every nook and cranny of fake sports from here to everywhere: Jon and Mark ruin Star Trek for Patrick! Patrick regales us with tales of seeing The Omega Code! More Count Dante! Battle of the Strongmen! WE ALMOST FORGET SMASH TV! Plus, we relive the glory days of movies what took up two whole VHS tapes. Please subscribe via iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave us a rating and review so we can use them to replace the lyrics on karaoke machines around the world! Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com/BodyCountCast Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/bodycountsandbeer/ Email us: bodycountsandbeer@gmail.com Let us know what you liked, what you hated, your favorite ficti

BODACIOUS! This week, we're going back to the teenage mutant well to discuss 1991's TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES II: THE SECRET OF THE OOZE: A STAR WARS STORY: THE ROAD CHIP! Don't bother packing any weapons. The producers won't let you use them! Listen in as we discover and discuss everything TMTN related, including: Werner Herzog Vs Macho Man! Jon hates big pizza slices! Proper seasoning technique! The rich history of aquatic law enforcement! NINJA RAPPING! Harsh words for Radiohead and harsher words for St. Louis! PLUS: Jack Warner swings by! Please subscribe via iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave us a rating and review so we can open a Wide Beam and transmit to The Roci! Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com/BodyCountCast Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/bodycountsandbeer/ Email us: bodycountsandbeer@gmail.com Let us know what you liked, what you hated, your favorite non-turtle ninja, your least favorite cilantro, what movie to watch next or ANYTH

We can't believe it ourselves! It's been (just over) 3 years since we started this whole mess. And now...*shotgun cock*...we're gonna clean it up. It's time for our 3RD ANNUAL PODVERSARY SPECIAL! We revisit some favorites, some hatred, some bad impressions, some great impressions, some 90s alt-rock band Fastball, some new inventions and we savagely misremember Paul Newman's career. PLUS: Sky Captain and Peter O'Toole drop by! Please subscribe via Apple Podcasts, SoundCloud, Stitcher or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave us a rating and review so we can have them 3D printed into keychains! Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com/BodyCountCast Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/bodycountsandbeer/ Email us: bodycountsandbeer@gmail.com Let us know what you liked, what you hated, your favorite episode this year, your least favorite episode this year, what movie to watch next or ANYTHING AT ALL!

Remember Jurassic Park? That was cool, right? But remember what happened AFTER Jurassic Park? A Hollywood bidding war to make the next Michael Crichton film. Unfortunately for the world (but fortunately for Mark), we got 1995's CONGO! Tune in to hear the goofballs cover anything and everything in the stratum of CONGO, including: Mark sings Toto deep cuts! The Glory of Busch Gardens! The Mystery of Joey Pants' Bald Pate! The return of Joe Don Baker! SO MUCH CANDY TALK! Too many plosives (sorry)! PLUS: Amy the Gorilla performs Guns 'N' Roses Greatest Hits! Please subscribe via iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave us a rating and review so we can feed them into a synthesizer to make a new Baba O'Riley! Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com/BodyCountCast Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/bodycountsandbeer/ Email us: bodycountsandbeer@gmail.com Let us know what you liked, what you hated, your favorite movie gorilla, your least favorite movie chimpanzee, what

Next week, we're discussing Mark's favorite film of all time: CONGO! So this week, we're reading through Mark's favorite Wikipedia page of all time: CONGO: THE BOOK! Join us as we goof on one of the more bizarre plot descriptions the world has ever heard. We got everything in this one: Mark does a perfect Irish accent! We debate the efficacy of Doping vs. Cyborg Tech! We chart the evolution of Congo's Gray Gorillas! We bemoan the lack of Wacky Races and X-Files gorilla autopsies! For the first time in decades, someone brings up James Caan's THE PROGRAM! Plus, massive spoilers for season one of Game of Thrones! CONTENT WARNING: We drank too much and therefore continually refer to gorillas as "monkeys." We're sorry. Please subscribe via iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave us a rating and review so we can perform them at local slam poetry events! Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com/BodyCountCast Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/bodycountsandbeer/ Emai

Our long international nightmare is over! We've finally gotten around to covering the last Star Wars movie ever (FOR NOW)! This week, we're discussing 2018's meh-fest: SOLO: A STAR WARS STORY! Listen in as we meticulously pick through the mise en scene of this prequel-ish flick, covering everything including: Ted Danson is very tall! The existential dread of droid ownership! Darth Maul: Terrible Boss! Jon tells his Peter Mayhew: A Star Wars Story! MURPH! Harsh words for Dune! And so much more and everything in between! BONUS: The secret origin on the Rebel Alliance, as told by an incredible angry and sarcastic Jon Rooney Taylor! Please subscribe via iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave us a rating and review so we can make them into signs to flash at sports games! Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com/BodyCountCast Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/bodycountsandbeer/ Email us: bodycountsandbeer@gmail.com Let us know what you liked, what you hated, your

You are part of the Rebel Alliance and a subscriber. LISTEN AWAY! This week, we're opening our magic bag of movie pitches to create our inaugural STAR WARS SPINOFF SHOWCASE! Listen in as we pitch Lucasfilm all the "great" and "bankable" stories that have been rattling around our dumb brains forever! Stories like: The Max Rebo Blues Band and Review! The secret origin of Count Dooku! Greedofellas! A vociferous defense of Cinnabon! Orcas impressions! And so much so more! Please subscribe via iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave us a rating and review so we can make them into flyers to pass out at our political rallies! Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com/BodyCountCast Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/bodycountsandbeer/ Email us: bodycountsandbeer@gmail.com Let us know what you liked, what you hated, your favorite Tick Tock Man, your least favorite episode of Oz, what movie to watch next or ANYTHING AT ALL!

Bah-da-BAH-DAAAAH-bah-da-daaaaa! (look through gun barrel. Pierce Brosnan shoots.) This week, we're FINALLY visiting the Island of Too Many Bonds, specifically the unincorporated village of GOLDENEYE! So equip your laser beam grappling hooks and join us for some post-Christmas espionage thrillage! We cover just about everything in this episode, including, but not limited to: Alan Cumming, history's horniest actor! Sub-Zero vs. Scorpion! We learn the secret origin of Patrick Stewart's hair! Sean Connery stops by, and he is terrible! Our aural assault on France continues! We evaluate the ranks of the Cereal Mascot Navy! Plus, for the first time in twenty years, someone mentions Harold "Baby Jordan" Miner! Please subscribe via iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave us a rating and review so we can read them out loud to unimpressed travelers on public transit! Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com/BodyCountCast Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/bodycountsandbeer

Hop in your Aston Martin, shake a vodka martini and shoot a Blofeld with a watch laser, because this week we're discussing GOLDENEYE 007 for the N64! Next week we finally visit the Island of Too Many Bonds, so we thought we'd take a minute and reminisce about one of the greatest video games ever made. Plus, we stumble upon some Civil War letters deleted from that Ken Burns documentary! And: turns out Mark shares an FPS strategy with Leeroy Jenkins! Also: Jon gets divorced and remarried, all in the span of 23 minutes and without his spouse's knowledge! EDITOR'S NOTE: Our regularly scheduled full episode (2017's Guardians [the Russian Avengers knockoff with the Bear Man]) has suffered from some manner of tekno wizardry, and therefore will probably never be heard. Sorry. Please subscribe via iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave us a rating and review so we can spell them out with our Alpha-Bits cereal before it gets soggy! Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com/Bo

It began with an idea. An elegant solution to a centuries old problem. "What do we discuss for our minisode this week?" Mark asked. There was no response. Only hissing. And pain of a thousand pizza crusts whipped into his eye. So, we ditched the Christmas stuff pretty early on and just goofed. We cover a bizarre Russian music video (link here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNl7u_ckbHU) and we cover some favorite montages. But mostly, it's just goofin'. Sorry. Please subscribe via iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave us a rating and review so we can scrawl them onto parchment and put them in bottles and throw them in the ocean! Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com/BodyCountCast Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/bodycountsandbeer/ Email us: bodycountsandbeer@gmail.com Let us know what you liked, what you hated, what you think our hat sizes are based on our voices, what movie to watch next or ANYTHING AT ALL!

In our almost three years of making this podcast, never before have we come face to face with a movie so brutal, so unrelenting, so incredibly badass. This week, we're discussing 2011's martial arts masterpiece THE RAID: REDEMPTION! Listen as we cover every base from here to Jakarta: A primer in drug dealing real estate! Mark details his regrettable Linkin Park phase! Way too much ASMR! Patrick Bromley: Terrible Retail Employee! The joys of terrible closed captioning! Harsh words for Rent (the musical and the concept of paying people money to live places)! The joys of punching Nazis! The horrors of sweet, sweet palm greasin'! Please subscribe via iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave us a rating and review so we can remind ourselves we're not alone in this endeavor! Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com/BodyCountCast Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/bodycountsandbeer/ Email us: bodycountsandbeer@gmail.com Let us know what you liked, what you hated, your

BEHOLD! The Minisode-iest of Minisodes! We couldn't come up with a proper minisode topic, so we just went with ALL the minisode topics. Welcome to MINISODE OF MINISODES! We answer all your burning minisode questions: Favorite Rap Song! Favorite Movie Marine Creatures! Favorite Shoe! Favorite 16 Ounce Can of Rolling Rock! Favorite Movie Knife! Favorite Guyver! And MORE! Please subscribe via iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave us a rating and review so we can have them translated into semaphore because we love FLAGS! Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com/BodyCountCast Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/bodycountsandbeer/ Email us: bodycountsandbeer@gmail.com Let us know what you liked, what you hated, your favorite Guyver, your least favorite Jones soda flavor, what movie to watch next or ANYTHING AT ALL!

We never knew we needed Jackie Chan calling a room full of goons "garbage" until we watched 1995'S RUMBLE IN THE BRONX! Now, all we want is for Jackie Chan to show up in our respective homes to call us garbage. And maybe kick some stuff too! Tune in as we cover every base available (and few that aren't too!): Jonathan immediately forgets his new name! Deservedly harsh words for both Rudy Giuliani AND Steve Miller! Our secret Edge Lord past! HOVER COURT! The key difference between Jackie Chan and JCVD! Plus, we announce our new Gentlemen's Club: Girls! Tigers! Hovercrafts! Please subscribe via iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave us a rating and review so we can feed them into a 70's synthesizer to make our own personal "Baba O'Riley!" Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com/BodyCountCast Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/bodycountsandbeer/ Email us: bodycountsandbeer@gmail.com Let us know what you liked, what you hated, your favorite ICP album, your least

*KNEE TO THE FACE* Hello, and welcome to a *KICK TO THE BACK* minisode of Body Counts and Beer! This week, we're *PUNCH TO THE KNEE* discussing our FAVORITE MARTIAL ARTS FIGHT SEQUENCES! Also, I'm in the process of being savagely beaten. *ELBOW TO THE NOSE* Please help me and also listen to this episode, where we cover everything: the transformative power of Gerard Depardieu's blood! Vince Vaughn jackin' it! French 80's metal vans! The need to protect elephants via elbows and knees! And more honorable mentions than we could shake a stick at! To be honest, we definitely left out a lot of great fights, so we may tap this well once more in future. Please subscribe via iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave us a rating and review so we can turn dream about them Dan Hartman style! Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com/BodyCountCast Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/bodycountsandbeer/ Email us: bodycountsandbeer@gmail.com Let us know what you liked, what you hat