Life Over Coffee With Rick Thomas

What is contentment, and how do we acquire it? Did you know it is the gift of the person who can live well on any point of the abundance to emptiness spectrum? Finding contentment seems elusive in our frantic and distracted world. Other matters weigh in vying to control our hearts. Contentment becomes a memory, an old friend from another era when you reminisced, a day where quietness was commonplace, and needs were few. The question remains: how do you find it? Did you know contentment comes from learning how to live with everything or nothing at all? Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/contentment-comes-from-the-blessing-of-disappointment/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

Shows Main Idea – Pastoral ministry is one of the more complex vocations a person could choose. We all have our stories. We know the statistics, the burnout rates, and the aftermath of a failed pastor. But there are more of them who do it well. Extremely well. The successes far outshine the failures, though we hardly talk about those doing it the right way. Goodness is not as tweetable as badness, but it’s worth asking; what makes a good pastor? What are some things you should look for in a potential pastoral candidate? Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-420-how-do-you-assess-and-prepare-a-future-pastor-for-ministry/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

Utopia does not exist. It’s a mirage in a desert, similar to the person who wants to be perfect. My goal here is not to rain on anyone’s parade but to help gain a better perspective on living well in God’s world while releasing ourselves from pursuing the unrealistic, nonexistent perfect life. My concern is that some of us are not comfortable in our own skin, and as we stare at imperfection in the face, we hope to find something a little more perfect. If you’re that striving soul, I have excellent news for you; God’s strength needs your imperfection to magnify His fame for your good. Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/four-reasons-to-praise-god-for-your-imperfections/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

Can a Christian walk away from God? To help work through this question, we must first recognize and accept that Christianity is not neat, and sin has never been respectful of our preferred categories. We also have to admit that this conversation is subjective in nature: we cannot know what is happening in a person’s heart or all the ancillary issues that contribute to why a person would “accept and reject” Christ. The Hebrew writer is suggesting there can be this kind of Christian—a believer who spurns the grace he once received for whatever reasons. What does that mean? How are we to think about friends who reject Christ? Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/i-met-a-man-who-refuses-to-walk-away-from-his-sin/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

Shows Main Idea – Divorce is an unending complexity. Even those who breathe a sigh of relief because it is over are not immune from the challenges. Suppose you were living through an unwanted divorce, or know someone who is. The ex-spouse has primary custody of the children. What are some key things you would want to know, common mistakes people generally make, and proper responses to your spouse, children, and new lifestyle? Here are a few thoughts for the spouse whose world just turned upside down. Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-419-your-ex-spouse-has-the-kids-and-youre-afraid/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

The Internet is an angry place. It’s one of the sadder commentaries about the Internet period in church history to see how it has become a context to put our sinful hearts on full display before the world. Revealing my wicked heart is nothing new to those who know me, but it is new to have a new place to display it. The Internet is that space for too many of us to lower the gate and march our words out before a world that is keen on finding opportunities to remind us why Christianity is a farce. Because cyberspace seems worlds away, we can begin to think what we do there has little impact. It’s this disinhibition delusion that makes it most dangerous. Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/the-internet-is-the-new-frontier-for-angry-people-hang-out/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

God is calling us to trust Him. There is a plan for this, and we are part of His plan. The tension, of course, is that He's the author of our stories, and we are not. Preferably, I want to be the writer of my story rather than trust the Sovereign story writer. During most of our daily affairs, we do trust God; it's only when things begin to fly sideways that the call to trust come under attack. When the heat in our lives intensifies, the temptation is to react in self-reliant ways because we're not getting the life we had hoped God would provide. Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/i-am-mad-at-god-there-i-said-it/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

Shows Main Idea – There are some issues where it creates emotional tension if you speak honestly and transparently from two contrary perspectives. We tend to be on one side or the other. Fair and balanced becomes lost with some of our causes. Sometimes we don’t want to cede any aspect of our talking point out of fear: “If we admit their argument has valid elements, we lose ground on our perspective.” Other times folks will overcorrect because of past injustices, i.e., the reparation effect. Regardless of the reasons, we must work at being fair about our problems, and there are few things more vital for this kind of scrutiny than talking about abuse. Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-418-five-common-mistakes-abuse-counselors-make/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

We have a herd mentality that drives us to conformity. The temptation to conform to the status quo is alluring. Rare individuals want to stand out and take a stand that is counter to the group’s norms, drawing attention to ourselves that might be criticized. We know a bully culture will cancel us if we step out of line. Sadly, there are many voices who have something to say and should be saying it but they dare not to because of timidity or perhaps they desire approval. Nevertheless, there is a call on all of us to find our unique voices and proclaim them regardless of the consequences. Of course, this leads us to the all-important question, how do you find our voice? Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/finding-your-voice-to-be-who-god-wants-you-to-be/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

Christian Legalism is the bane of religion. It’s the persistent nemesis in all of our hearts. Though we usually discuss legalism regarding our salvation, I’m speaking about how it affects our sanctification after being born again. Most Christians I encounter do not struggle with a works salvation mentality. Their real struggle is how they think about their performance after God regenerates them. They fully embrace Ephesians 2:8-9 as the only way to Christ, but there is a temptation to smuggle a “form of legalism” into their Christian experience; it’s Christian legalism, fueled by people pleasing and performance traps. Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/what-kind-of-unworthy-are-you-the-good-kind-or-the-bad-kind/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

Shows Main Idea – Supporting Member: “I believe I have something to say, but I’m unsure how to say it, and I don’t know the mechanics of crafting a blog article that compels someone to hang with me. What are the secrets to writing well so that people will want to read what I have to say? What are some of the things you have learned that have worked to build a loyal following? I’m sure some tips and tricks from an experienced pro would help a person rise above the millions of bloggers out there who are competing to build a following.” Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-417-secrets-that-teach-you-how-to-write-compelling-blog-content/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

Typically, when people think about modesty, their minds immediately go to what a person wears and arbitrary preferences rather than the heart’s motivations that influence our external choices. Perhaps when I mentioned “modesty,” your impulse was similar: “Great, he will tell us what to wear!” If so, you’re normal. But my goal here is different. I am not going to suggest what you should wear. I want to focus on something more vital—our hearts, the genesis of all of our thoughts, attitudes, words, and behaviors, including how we adorn our bodies. Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/exporting-modesty-to-the-next-generation/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

Social media is ubiquitous, and there are many redemptive applications of it. But with all good things, there is always the Adamic smell of death that lures some people into the darker side of what should be a means of grace. Social media has many temptations, one of those is the comparison trap that stirs a desire to compete with the culture’s view of appearance, attractiveness, and acceptance. Many women succumb to this temptation, especially as they age. As one wife asked me, “How do I compete with cyber women as my body continues to waste away?” Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/how-can-i-compete-with-cyber-women/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

One hundred out of one hundred people struggle with the fear of man. Caring about what others think about us is part of our Adamic packaging. I have never counseled a person who did not struggle with this problem to some degree. Our secular community calls it co-dependency or peer pressure. It hardly matters as long as you can biblically define what is happening and apply God’s solutions. In this case study, I’m going to address fear in the context of marriage. Specifically, insecurity as the inhibitor that keeps a husband from leading his wife well. Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-416-a-crippling-reason-why-a-husband-does-not-lead-his-wife/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

Mable came to me, exclaiming, “I’m frustrated! I am always approaching my husband with my sin, asking for his forgiveness, but he seems never to see his need to ask me for forgiveness. Many times he won’t even bother to forgive me. What am I to do? How can I respond to him when he shows no interest in working with me through our problems?” Her complaint is not unusual in relationships, married or otherwise. In fact, her situation is probably the norm because folks do not mature equally or at the same pace. Let me share with you what I told her, and, of course, you can apply these things to either gender, not just Biff. Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/my-husband-never-asks-for-forgiveness-how-am-i-to-respond/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

There is an intrinsic nature to bitterness. The bitter person is like someone with a cup of poison. Each time they think about their problems, they take another sip. In most situations, the individual is not aware of what they are doing to themselves. It’s an unwitting form of self-sabotage. Perhaps they are aware, but the pain of their situation is so disappointing that they don’t care. From their painful perspective, it’s easier to grumble, complain, vent, and hurt. There is a better solution. Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/bitterness-is-self-induced-poisoning-of-the-soul/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

Shows Main Idea – Have you ever thought about how others think about you? I know you have because it’s a common impulse in all of us, though some folks overthink how they come across to others. It has too much control over their lives. What about you; what are your thoughts about God’s view of you? What do you think His opinion of you is? Did you know how you think God thinks about you is one of the most vital things you can think about? Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-415-how-does-god-see-you-and-why-does-it-matter/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

People ask me often for parenting advice. It’s a broad subject, and depending on the age of the children and a host of other factors, my response is always different. Sometimes I tell them what we did, not because we have figured things out or that there is a formula “out there” somewhere. There is not. If any of our children do well, it will be God’s grace. But if you were to ask me a few of the top things we taught our children, let’s start with these. Here are our top fifty things that we want our daughters to know. Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/50-things-i-want-my-daughter-to-know/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

What would you say if you could share the top 50 things you would want your son to take into adulthood? If your son is young, you’re in a great spot to start teaching some of these things. If your son is in his teen years, ask the Father to give you the time, wisdom, and courage to share your heart with him. If your son is out of the home, it’s not too late to carry on what you’ve begun or build those relational bridges to communicate what’s vital to you to him. Here are the 50 things I shared with my son. Read Here: https://rickthomas.net/50-things-i-want-my-son-to-know/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/

Shows Main Idea – There is an one-sided and perverse teaching that some Christians have pushed forward that wives should make themselves available for their husbands to keep them in the home, not looking for sex elsewhere. This perspective presumes the wife becomes the solution to a husband’s sexual desires and drive, plus the deterrent for extra-marital activity. Is this the proper way for a Christian woman to think about and respond to her husband? Show Notes: https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-414-must-wife-have-sex-with-her-husband-so-he-wont-stray/ Will you help us so we can continue to provide free content to the world? You can become a supporting member here rickthomas.net/recurring-membership/ Or you can make a one-time or recurring donation(s) here https://rickthomas.net/donations/