The Couples Expert

Welcome to episode 139 of our show. Your host Stuart Fensterheim has some insights to share with his listeners today about intimate partner relationships and sexual intimacy with your partner; specifically about banishing boredom from your bedroom.

Welcome to episode 138 of the Couples Expert Podcast. In today's show Stuart is going to share with listeners the secrets to a successful marriage that we all crave to know.

In episode 137 of this week's podcast, Stuart speaks of using humor and positivity to divorce-proof your marriage. 

In episode 136 of this week's podcast, Stuart speaks of remarriage & the "Doubt Factor" with special guest Brian Mayer.

In episode 135 of this week's podcast Stuart speaks of the connections that we have with our siblings in addition to the relationships that we have with our spouses and partners, the sibling connection is a major relationship that we keep near our hearts. What you’ll learn in today’s podcast: • Why family relationships with siblings are so important 6:20 • How your early relationships form your adult interactions 7:10 • How your partner views you based on how you interact with your siblings 10:59 • Why keeping those sibling relationships alive and healthy is so important 12:00 • Extended family includes in-laws from your partner and ex-partners as well 20:21 • Love creates the dynamic that allows you to make everyone feel important  23:11 • Repair your sibling relationships and have no regrets. 24:09 Read the complete show notes here

In episode 134 of this week’s scary podcast Stuart discusses how important our marriage is to us; the impact on us when we’re struggling in our relationships; how each of us can be harmed. We need to have a good relationship so both of the individuals can thrive singularly in addition to the relationship. What you’ll learn from today’s podcast: Nothing is better than having that relationship with that one person in the world who loves you more than anyone [7:00] The most negative relationships and you – It’s no joke [8:17] The physical impact of living in negative relationships [11:20] Mental health, memory and unhappy relationships [14:30] The emotional toll of an unhappy marriage [17:30] You and your partner can have the dream  [24:00] Read the complete show notes here

October is Domestic Violence Month and our goal here at The Couples Expert is to bring awareness to the challenges and issues that couples face. No one likes to talk about Domestic Violence, not even Stuart, but this is a very real problem that occurs in the shadows of not only the poor urban and economically depressed areas of our country, but the wealthy and affluent homes as well. Listen in as Stuart shines a light on this dark issue.  What you’ll learn in today’s podcast: Sobering statistics about domestic violence 7:35 How love turns to violence 8:15 We are responsible for how we treat our partners 10:39 The cycle/pattern of violence has three phases 12:00 One example of how things go wrong (the story of Ross and Beth)  17:27 Why it’s different for the wealthy 24:25 When the man is the victim 26:17 Read the complete show notes here

In episode 132 of The Couples Expert podcast Stuart is reflecting on how blessed we are by the people in our lives. We need to tell those people how much they matter to us. The things that we do for others to make their lives easier are another example of showing how they matter to us. Seeing his wife shop and cook for her elderly parents makes Stuart feel how fortunate he is to have Debbie in his life. She’s a very kind and giving person. If Stuart didn’t slow down and notice sometimes, all of these might pass him by. Does any of this sound familiar to you? It’s really all about love.  What you’ll learn in today’s podcast:  Why expressing your passion in life makes you happy 6:57 What passion means in your relationship 8:54 How you keep that passion in your marriage every day 14:04 Why you should plan activities together 16:15 How to get passionate in the bedroom 19:15 Read the complete show notes here

In episode 131 of our show we're going to expand your horizons and your thought processes about the Universe and your relationship with your partner.  Stuart has brought Mel Schwartz, LCSW Clinician and author to guest on our podcast. They’re going to discuss Mel’s latest book The Possibility Principle and how the concepts surrounding his study of quantum physics can improve the way you think. There is a correlation to your relationship and the science Mel is studying. Thanks for joining us today. Listen as Stuart and Mel talk about a practical approach to living fearlessly and about his book The Art of Intimacy, The Pleasure of Passion.  What you’ll learn on today’s podcast: How quantum physics pertains to your relationships 3:40 How we get in the way of communication and the 5 percent rule 8:00 The goal is not to win but to have a dialogue 12:43 Uncertainty is the essence of romance (Oscar Wilde) 14:27 Techniques for subjectively discussing our issues 18:35 Why are you in this relationship? Is it out of fe

  In Episode 130 of The Couples Experts Podcast Stuart discusses the perception that men need to have sex with any or every woman and cannot be friends with females without sex becoming an issue. What you’ll learn in today’s podcast:  Can men live up to their commitments and stay true to their vows? [5:45]  Is the Coolidge Effect real? [11:00]  What is the difference between those who can stay faithful and those who cannot? [12:17]  The importance of teaching the value of connection over sexual desire [14:58]  How adults conduct relationships [19:55]  Teaching the value of emotion and understanding [21:56]  The 7 year itch and other clichés [25:56] Read the complete show notes here

In episode 129 of The Couples Expert podcast the topic is making peace with your divorce before you remarry. That’s pretty deep isn’t it? What Stuart wants our listeners to know is that there is oftentimes work that needs to be done on your part to figure out what went wrong with the prior relationship before you remarry or commit to another relationship.    What you’ll learn in today’s podcast:  What is the value you place on marriage? 2:32 Do the autopsy on your past relationships 3:23 Co-parenting true or false?  4:38 Letting go of the past and moving on 6:56 Consequences of rebounding into a new relationship 15:54 Deal with and take responsibility for the issues that got in the way in the last relationship 18:24 Read the complete show notes here

in episode 128 of The Couples Expert Podcast Stuart talks about married sex and sex in monogamous relationships. Getting married doesn’t mean your sex life is over. When you’re young, just starting out, you may think that getting married or being in a monogamous relationship is going to mean the end of great sex.  Stuart discusses how in many ways it’s just the opposite. Please note that the content of this podcast relates to adult themes and parental guidance is suggested. Listen as Stuart talks about married sex.  What you’ll learn in today’s podcast: Married sex vs.unmarried sex The bachelor party and the aftermath   Sex is not a science experiment What happens in Canada… The dream is real The keys to the best love life Click here to read the complete show notes

Episode 127 of The Couples Expert Podcast is about living and loving in middle age. Stuart is going to answer some burning questions you may have about life after 60. Is it all downhill from here? Take a listen as Stuart addresses the concerns that many of you have about love and aging.  What you’ll learn in today’s podcast:  When you’re 50+ you’re just learning to live life 6:50  The golden ticket to love that lasts a lifetime  9:53  The benefits of love and making better choices when you’re over 50 15:15  Recognizing the small things that make a difference and make you happy 18:30  The end is getting nearer so live out loud 24:56  Importance of connecting with loved ones and having a great sex life in your 60s 30:00  A recap 38:43 Read the complete show notes here

In episode 126 of The Couples Expert podcast Stuart’s topic is about the meaning and characteristics of Loyalty in your relationships. There are certain basic characteristics of loyalty in our relationships and Stuart is going to define those and the behaviors that accompany them.  What you’ll learn in today’s podcast: Loyalty means respecting your partner’s strengths and weaknesses [4:58] Keeping confidences   [8:37] Never stand against your partner in public [9:56] When your partner needs you [11:29] The meaning of loyalty [13:11] Honesty is a characteristic of loyalty [17:57] The difference in loyalty in friendship and love relationships [20:32] Loyal as a therapy dog [24:26] Read the full show notes here

Episode 125 of The Couples Expert Podcast is about financial role reversals in relationships; when the woman is the main earner or breadwinner in the relationship. This can be a touchy and sensitive subject. Tune in and here Stuart discuss the challenges that come with this type of arrangement. What you’ll learn from today’s Podcast: The perception of society and why gender roles shouldn’t matter at [4:15] How best we meet the goal matters most at [8:00] Stay at home Dads and stereotypes at [9:32] Women don’t need a man to support them and why you shouldn’t need permission to spend money at [10:41] The value of stay at home parenting and financial independence at [14:05] Teamwork is the key at [15:49] Men struggle with role reversal and the double standard at [17:22] The value of both roles in the family’s success at [20:15] Read the complete show notes here

In Episode 124 of The Couples Expert Podcast with Stuart's guest is Laurie DiLorenzo. Laurie recently joined The Couples Experts in Scottsdale, AZ. Laurie is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) with a varied background in counseling youth, families and couples including Spring Hills Academy Residential Treatment. Today Stuart and Laurie are going to discuss dealing with an angry adolescent. What you’ll learn from today’s podcast: How to define an angry adolescent at 6:19 Holding good boundaries and firm values for teens at 8:03 Anger and your own self- control and mindfulness as a parent  at 11:50 When teens want to be on their own but still crave structure from parents at 16:01 Definition of true discipline at 19:56 How to reach out to an angry teen with empathy and when to seek help at 21:18 Parents can seek help first to better help their child at 28:23 Read the complete show notes here

In this week's episode of Three Minutes with Stuart, the topic is Interracial Relationships. Stuart talks about race and how we've come a long way as a country, but still there is a long way to go. Interracial couples face the same challenges that other couples face while they attempt to build a life together, but in addition to the day to to day issues that the average couple faces, and interracial relationship may have additional outside stressors antagonizing the relationship. These outside stressors could be family members that reject the idea of race mixing, friends or even complete strangers. It's so important that people in an interracial relationship know and understand that love is love. It has no color. We love who we love. In saying that, the reality is, if you are in an interracial relationship you shouldn't be surprised or caught off guard or hurt if your relationship is not accepted by all. You may run into people who stare at you, or even mumble and say things. That doesn't make it okay, but be

Episode 123 of The Couples Expert Podcast is about interracial marriage, or as he likes to call it, simply: marriage. No matter your racial background, the challenges are same for all couples trying to have a close and connected relationship.  The struggles in your relationship if you’re an interracial couple more often than not come from outside stressors which sadly can also sometimes include your very own family members. Listen in as Stuart discusses some of the great challenges and joys of being an interracial couple. What Stuart will discuss on today’s podcast: Interracial Marriage became legal at [3:45] Love sees no color at [6:51] Root causes of pain in interracial relationships at [7:40] Children are colorblind at [10:00] When family and friends are resistant at [14:29] How your family can overcome racial bias at [19:35] Click here to read the full show notes

What is Trust in a marriage? In today's video Stuart delves into the topic of trust and what it means to really have trust in your partner. When it comes to relationships, most people think of trust as it relates to infidelity. But, trust is more than whether or not someone is having an affair or cheating on their partner. Think about the following questions. Answer them honestly to yourself. Your answers will reveal to you whether or not you truly trust your partner. Do you trust your partner to do their part in the relationship? Do you trust your partner to be there for you when you need them? Do you trust that your partner will do what he/she says they will do? Do you trust your partner with money? Do you trust your partner with decision making? I could keep going but you get the point. After looking at trust in a much broader sense, can you honestly say that you trust your partner? If your answer is no, there is some work that the two of you need to do on your relationship. Underlying feelings of di

In episode 122 of The Couples Expert Podcast Stuart will be discussing issues surrounding trust in your relationship. What you’ll learn on today’s podcast:  When you don’t have trust at 6:00 How trust is built at 7:34 How do you keep that bond of trust? At 10:08 Continually renewing trust in your relationship at 12:22 Trust is more than fidelity at 13:55 When you choose the wrong partner at 15:00 What love and security gives you at 16:14 Read the complete show notes here