The Couples Expert

Today's Three Minutes with Stuart is all about building a lifelong monogamous relationship with your spouse. When it comes to Monogamy a lot of people have begun to question whether or not having a monogamous relationship, where both you and your partner forsake having relationships outside your marriage, is realistic. Some couples that I have counseled have what's known as an "open" relationship. This is where the partners agree that it's okay for the two of them to see other people, but they remain committed to their marriage as their main relationship. In my many years of working with all types of couples, I fully believe that it's possible to have a long lasting monogamous relationship. In fact, I believe that monogamy affords you the best opportunity to build a truly genuine and authentic love with your partner. After all, if there is no connection, you have no real relationship. Today I talk about the expectations you should have and some of the things that may happen during the life of your relatio

Episode 121 of The Couples Expert Podcast is all about the challenges and expectations of having a monogamous relationship. Is it realistic or even possible to live with, love and be happy with only one person?  Listen as Stuart discusses this very important subject today. We’re happy to have you with us.  What you’ll learn on today’s podcast: Definitions of intimacy , polyamory and monogamy at 5:00 Fear of not being satisfied by one person at 10:49 Chose your partner carefully at 13:45 Understanding your own desires and needs at 14:57 You have to talk about sex at 17:40 Maintaining loving relationships for life at 19:50 Aging changes things including body image at 22:06 Stuart gives a cautionary message at 25:22 Read the complete show notes here      

The mornings can be very stressful during the school year. In today's Three Minutes with Stuart,Stuart shares some helpful tips for couples and parents to help ease the stress and make the mornings run more smoothly. Why Is Having A Morning Routine Important? Establishing a morning routine with your family make things easier on everybody. Over time with repetition things will become easier as you and your children adjust and everyone knows what to expect. Doing some thing the night before can help ease the stress of the morning as well. For instance, having your children pick out the clothes they are going to wear to school before bedtimes avoids last minute panic if they aren't able to find an article of clothing or something needs to be ironed because of too many wrinkles. Your mornings set the tone for the rest of your day. The smoother your morning runs, the more likely your day will get off to a great start and everything else will fall into place. Be sure to watch the full video for all of Stuart's help

In Episode 120 of The Couples Expert Podcast Stuart’s guest, Sharmeen Mahmud, is a specialist in working with children, teens and families. She’s worked in the CA school system as a school -based counselor and clinician to help families meet their educational goals for their children for about ten years. Stuart and his guest Sharmeen will be talking about children going back to school; how to maintain a close connection as a couple and still attend to the children’s needs. Listen as Stuart and Sharmeen talk about all aspects of helping children and families adjust to back to school.  It’s surprising how much anxiety and worry can accompany school prep, both for kids and for their parents. Sharmeen and Stuart discuss how preparedness and realistic expectations can help with these issues both for the parents and the children going to school for the first time.  On Today’s Podcast:  How Sharmeen came into this field at  6:36 Couples can prepare kids for the school year at 10:39 Parents can be nervous about thei

People look for love in all the wrong places when the person sitting next to you may be the love that you are longing for. You see, many people get into relationships with high expectations of their partner, of the relationship only to be disappointed because no one focuses on the work that is involved in making a relationship work. You have to make an effort. WE HAVE TO MAKE AN EFFORT TO MAKE OUR RELATIONSHIPS THE LOVE THAT WE HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR. If we don't, guess what happens? The relationship is lack luster or IT FAILS. We may even become bitter, discouraged and start believing the lie that there is no such thing as true love. On the contrary true love is a reality for many couples who have taken the time to really work at their relationships. These couples do insane things like really getting to know one another, and listen to each other's needs. They learn ways to communicate with one another effectively and do things to make their spouse feel loved and special. They are kind and show appreciation

In episode 119 is about how the attachments you have in childhood can affect your adult relationships. This may not be something that you’ve thought a lot about and you may even be surprised at how much sense this makes to you. Listen as Stuart explains the correlation between the way your family relationships were with the caregivers in your childhood and the way you relate to your partner.  This podcast is being released on the day that Stuart’s nephew by marriage will get married. Family issues often are brought out during these types of family events. It’s always interesting to see how traditional family roles are played out when the family gets together and how it will affect the event. This relates to our podcast today since we’re talking about how a child is raised and how their attachments were met(or not met) have a huge influence on the person they grow up to be.  What you’ll learn in today’s podcast: Everything is modifiable in the real world (you are never stuck) at 4:20 How do we connect?  at 15

Timeouts are an effective tool that couples can use when things are really heated and starting to get out of control. However, so many couples use time outs the wrong way. In today's Three Minutes with Stuart video, Stuart goes in detail on how to do an effective timeout. He points out some of the ways couples go about doing the timeout incorrectly, and then demonstrates how timeouts should work by providing several examples. This is the timeout method that The Couples Expert gives to his clients in his counseling practice in Scottsdale, AZ. If you are interested in the print out Stuart mentions in the video, please email him at info@thecouplesexperts.com with 'Please send me the time out handout from your video' in the subject line. One of the main take aways from today's video is that Time outs are NOT meant to repair the relationship. Time outs are for preventing further damage to the relationship by allowing the partner who is out of control, or feeling like they are losing control the opportunity to

In Episode 118 of The Couples Expert podcast Stuart discusses anger and the impact it has on relationships and marriage. Anger is something we all deal with at one time or another, and it’s a sure bet that one or both of you will get angry from time to time. It’s what happens when you’re angry that impacts the relationship with your partner. How you handle your anger and how you manage these strong emotions are what really matters.  Listen as Stuart discusses this week’s topic of the impact of anger in your marriage.  Quote: “It is impossible for you to be angry and laugh at the same time” Wayne Dyer Anger and laughter are mutually exclusive and you have the ability to choose. I hope you choose laughter.    What you’ll learn on today’s Podcast:  The impact of anger on children at 4:34 Anger breeds resentment and kills respect at 7:20 Anger is normal but destruction is not at 10:50 Communicate by listening at 13:28 What does anger mean to you at 15:34 Vulnerability vs. Emotional detachment at 20:15 Being on t

In this episode of Three Minutes with Stuart, Stuart talks about a relationship checkup. When the majority of people think of couples counseling they see counseling as a resource for couples who are having problems, and not something that couples who are in healthy relationships can benefit from too. However, couples that are in healthy relationships can benefit from couples counseling too! Relationships take work. In fact, anything in life that we want to excel in or at takes work, but surprisingly most people come into relationships and don't make the connection that their relationship needs work too. Just as its important to your physical health to have a check up each year to make sure your healthy, and be proactive in heading off potential health risks, we should all consider the importance of an annual relationship checkup for couples. A relationship checkup can help you avoid waking up one day wondering what happened to your connection with your partner. Couples come into my practice in Scottsdale

In episode 117 the Couples Expert Podcast Stuart, talks about how healthy and happy couples can also benefit from relationship counseling before they get into difficulties.   Love and relationship maintenance is just as important for your relationship as mechanical maintenance is for your vehicle. Learn to think of your relationship counselor as an on-call love mechanic. Get those regular tune ups and make sure your relationship is running smoothly and able to handle any bumps along the road of life. What you’ll learn from today’s podcast: • A common issue that Stuart finds in his office practice at 5:07 • How to stay best friends with your partner at 8:30 • Habits of successful couples, challenges and a prescription for a happier life at 9:56 • Finding opportunities to be together as a couple at 17:08 • Gratitude, compromise and finding solutions at 20:00   View the full show notes here    

How important are the relationships that we have in our lives? Could a relationship with a person make the difference between choosing to live and contribute to the community or choosing to destroy the community and take away from it? In today's episode of Three Minutes with Stuart, The Couples Expert, the topic is the importance of the different relationships we have in our lives, but even more important is the relationship we have with our partner. Stuart talks about being kind and how the smallest act of kindness can effect someone in a positive way. With all the negativity and chaos that is happening in the world around us, we have to be sure that we bring joy, light and happiness into our own personal world with the people who are in our lives.

Tune in to the 116th episode of The Couples Expert Podcast! Stuart’s guest is Fig’s O’Sullivan, an emotionally focused therapist. He’s created an app for couples (see Empathi.com) to have a deep and authentic vulnerable love together. It’s a coaching program that helps couples get closer together. There is science that has informed us about how to have a healthy and more satisfying relationship by re-training your brain to be more loving together. This podcast is reaching all around the world and the conversations that we have are very genuine and authentic. Technology has allowed The Couples Expert to reach out to experts like Figs O’Sullivan and we’re so happy to have him with us on the podcast today. Listen as Stuart and Figs discuss Empathi and how the website and app help couples improve their relationships. What you’ll learn from today’s podcast: How Figs became involved in relationship counseling at 7:10 How EFT Works when you’re in training to be a therapist at 10:58 What is Empathi? At 14:06 W

The good news is that the divorce rate has dropped from 50% to 30%. That's great news actually. It means that couples are finding ways to work through their differences and stay committed to their vows to be together for a lifetime. But what happens when you feel alienated or alone in your marriage? What do you do when the bridge for communication with your partner has collapsed and there is no understanding between the two of you?   If you are feeling alienated or alone in your relationship you have to let your partner know how you feel. So many divorces and failed relationships are the end result of a breakdown in communication. All of us have a need to be understood, and having a loving connection with our partners is crucial to the overall success of any long term relationship. Remember, why you fell in love with your partner in the first place and try to do something fun that the two of you both enjoy together to start the process of rebuilding your friendship with one another and re-establishing your co

In episode 115 of The Couples Expert Podcast Stuart’s topic is Discernment Counseling with Sanya Bari from Mountain Lakes, New Jersey where she counsels couples in trouble. She works to help them look at their decisions in a new way that allows them to make a less impulsive and more informed decision about whether to end their marriage or to do the work needed to save it. Listen as Stuart and Sanya discuss the details and benefits of discernment counseling for couples on the brink of divorce.  What you’ll learn on today’s podcast:  How Sanya started in this field at 6:47 Why discernment counseling at 7:45 Definition of discernment counseling at 12:03 The questions couples need to answer for the process at 14:21 The high percentage of couples that come in for counseling are unsure If they want to continue in the relationship at 20:53 What if expectations or demands are unrealistic at 25:40 Soft and hard reasons for divorce at 27:43 How couples can save their marriages most of the time  at 29:20 Stuart’s que

In episode 114 of The Couples Expert Podcast Stuart discusses the unique relationships between “copreneurs.” These are couples that are in love and in business together. Many of them are the power couples that seem to have it all going for them. They have to balance work, home and their romantic relationships in order to to be successful. Take a listen as Stuart gives some insight on what skills and habits copreneur couples need to have for them to be healthy and happy in all aspects of their life and work.  Stuart visited his father in Hollywood, FL recently. They had a great visit on their brief vacation together and went to a sporting event. They reminisced about trips they took when Stuart was a child when they would go to the Yankee games and do father/son activities. The time they spent together with Stuart’s dad was so special. Stuart’s dad is 90 years old, so it’s a thrill for them to be able to spend time together. Stuart gives us a reminder about connecting with the important people, especially elde

Today's episode of Three Minutes with Stuart is particularly important because Stuart speaks about a very important issue that is seldom talked about. PTSD and the first responders who may suffer from post traumatic stress disorder. First responders are a truly unique type of people. They put their lives on the line everyday and make sacrifices for the safety of the community at large. During the course of their work shift they come in contact with all types of situations. They may experience the joy of saving a life or helping someone in the community that is in need, to witnessing the loss of life and feeling helpless that they were not able to prevent someone from dying. Many times first responders suffer silently. It's so important if you are in a relationship with a first responder that you and your partner have strong communication with one another. Allowing your partner to share with you their feelings about what they have been through on the job is important. Sometimes they may just want to be alone t

Welcome to episode 113 of The Couples Expert Podcast.  We have an unusual topic this week; first responders and the importance keeping your connection strong. If you have a first responder in your family, are married to one or have a friend who is, take a listen to the podcast today. First responders are those brave individuals who run towards danger when everyone else is running away. It takes a special kind of grit and purpose to do that kind of work. It also takes a special kind of person to be in a relationship or be married to a first responder. It can be a chaotic, sometimes lonely kind of life. Stuart talks about some of the special challenges associated with being in a relationship with a first responder. Whether they be armed forces, reserve military, police, fire or other emergency services, these special individuals give a lot of themselves to the job. The partners, families and spouses of first responders are some of the most compassionate and flexible people in the world. Listen as Stuart discuss

In today's episode of Three Minutes with Stuart, The Couples Expert explains the importance of a family vacation and a couples vacation. If you can only take one vacation and you have to choose between going on a family vacation or a couples vacation, choose the couples vacation. You may be asking yourself, why the couples vacation? The reason you should choose the couples vacation, if you can't do both because of budget constraints or timing issues, is because it's so important that you and your partner have some time during the year where you the two of you can enjoy each other without the distractions of everyday life. And.. vacation is just that, a vacation! So, while you are on vacation, whether as a couple or a family, don't allow triggers to interfere with you and your partner having fun and truly enjoying the vacation together.

In Episode 112 of The Couples Expert is all about summer fun. Get ready for some fun suggestions and ideas to make your summer vacation the best ever!  The fun and memories that you create together helps to sustain you through future challenges and over the rough spots in life. Thanks for joining us today. Enjoy your summer kick off with Stuart.  What you’ll learn on today’s podcast: How to plan your couple’s time at 6:35 Why you need to let go of work at 7:39 How to handle it if you’re struggling in your relationship at 8:44 How to change the channel at 10:03 Suggestions for things to do at 12:42 The argument for “stay-cations” at 16:00 To view the complete show notes click here