Listen, Learn & Love Hosted By Richard Ostler

My friend Bonnie Young (active Latter-day Saint, LMFT, married mother of two) joins us to talk about her groundbreaking new book, "Sex Educated: Letters from a Latter-day Saint Therapist to Her Younger Self." While Bonnie wrote this book mainly for Latter-day Saint women who desire to maturely and compassionately reflect on their own sexual journeys, it can also be used as a tool and resource for parents, Latter-day Saint couples, fathers of daughters, and for younger Latter-day Saints who are searching for faith-based and research-backed sexual education. Each chapter of the book is a letter that Bonnie writes to her younger self, and each letter has a different focus. The contents of the letters explore the importance of learning about sex, the goodness of sex, consent, modesty and maturation, the centrality of women's sexual development and experiences, healing from sexual shame, and more. I was deeply moved listening to Bonnie’s insights about the important and sensitive topic— I wish I had a book l

My friend Emma Edwins (Masters Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy; Licensed Clinical Counselor, who was on Episode 598) joins us to update her story. Emma, a convert and active Latter-day Saint, shares answers to questions she is receiving. Emma talks about a thoughtful and balanced approach to supporting others who experience gender dysphoria and are considering transitioning. Emma also talks about making this conversation about listening, understanding and being open to learning—and not fear based narratives. If you are looking to better understand and support transgender Latter-day Saints, Emma’s story will help you. And if you have feelings of gender dysphoria, Emma’s insights will help you. Thank you, Emma, for being on the podcast. You are a remarkable woman doing much good in many circles. You are helping us create Zion. Honored to have you on the podcast! Podcast links: Emma’s YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMcGpe-zLbY Emma’s email: storiesoflatterdayfaith@g

My friend Jacob Guy, (RM, FSY Counselor, Weber State Student) joins us to share his story. Jacob talks about his spiritual journey and temple attendance to come out to himself and others about 18 months ago. That included breaking off a serious relationship with a woman. Jacob shares a powerful visual analogy of being locked out of the house of happy married straight people and not having a key to open the door—one of the most powerful examples I’ve heard. Jacob talks about his rock-solid relationship with Jesus and how He is helping him find hope and peace concurrently with the unknowns of his future. Jacob reads from his from his scriptures to share some of his favorite stories of Jesus and the principles Jesus teaching that apply to all of our lives. I was deeply moved hearing Jacob’s courageous, no-shame, spiritually mature story—including deep peace and acceptance of his sexual orientation. If you are in the process of coming out (even to yourself), Jacob’s story will help you. If you

** Trigger Warning: Sexual Assault** My friend Sherry Cassel bravely shares her story of being a survivor of sexual assault (from infancy until after her mission) and ongoing verbal and physical assault well into adulthood. Further, Sherry talks about how she became sexually active after her mission (partly because it was the only way she had been programed to feel loved) and having three children out of wedlock from three different men. Sherry talks about her love for these wonderful children. Sherry talks about being diagnosed with Complex PTSD and her road to dealing, accepting, and working to solve her mental health issues resulting from long-term trauma. Sherry talks about the beautiful relationship she has with her children (two with temple marriages and the third a member of the LGBTQ+ community who is navigating well in life through their own mental illness journey). She also talks about her patriarchal blessing and the importance of that blessing into her eternal destiny and also finding p

My friend Bonnie Lyman (active LDS, life coach, lives in Spokane, two of five children not participating in the Church) joins us to share her story. Bonnie (who is her 70’s and has been on this road for more than two decades) shares her story of finding peace and hope—and love for all her family. Bonnie has powerful gospel insights to find joy, peace, love for all her kids and how her dreams for her eternal family have not changed. I was deeply moved by Bonnie and her maturity to deal with the complexities of life and still find peace, love and hope. She is in a remarkable place of peace—and her story will help all of us find the same. If you have people you love choosing different paths, I invite you to listen to this podcast and connect with Bonnie and her work. Thank you, Bonnie, for being on the podcast. I was deeply moved hearing your story. You voice and work in so needed in our community! Links mentioned in the podcast: Bonnie’s life coach web site: https://www.bonnielyman.com/

My friend Kali Olsen (RM, BYU-I student, married to a man) shares her story as a bisexual Latter-day Saint. Kali talks about her journey to understand and then accept her sexual orientation. Kali also shares coming out to her fiancé McKay and his support (they were married in April 2022). Kali goes on to discuss why she decided to come out more broadly on social media to help support other LGBTQ people. Kali then talks about how we can do better as Latter-day Saints to support our LGBTQ members and create a safe space for people of all political parties. If you are an LGBTQ Latter-day Saint or want to know how to support them better, I encourage you to listen to Kali’s podcast. Great job Kali! Your story will help so many. Thank you for your courage to be on the podcast. Links mentioned in the podcast: Kali’s Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kali.crawford.7/ Kali’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kali.j.olsen/ Kali’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/kalic_justine

My friend Chris Kimball (married father of three, grandfather of eleven, and as he says, a 'retired' bishop, a 'retired' professor, and a 'retired' lawyer) joins us to share his unique Latter-day Saint journey. Chris shares some of his personal story which includes deciding more than 25 years ago to no longer sit for worthiness interviews and as a result to not hold a temple recommend, and nevertheless stay a participating member of the Church. Chris shares why he doesn’t hold a recommend and some of how he stays in the Church. The long journey has led to Chris writing a book called “Living on the Inside of the Edge: A Survival Guide”. The purpose of the book is to help other Latter-day Saints in a faith transition/faith crisis who have a goal to stay in the Church. The book would also be helpful for local leaders and parents who are looking for new tools/perspectives to help those in a faith crisis/transition who are working to find an authentic way to stay in the Church. That said, Chris inf

My friend Zach and Darcy Spafford (who were on Episode 376) join us to talk about solving pornography use as a couple. Zach talks about opening up to his wife about his pornography use and how they worked together to address and solve it. It is a powerful story that helps others walking this road find hope and healing. Both Zach and Darcy share insights, principles, and strategies to address, and solve porn use and thrive as a couple. Zach and Darcy now help other couples who are struggling with unwanted porn as their full-time business—which is much needed in our community. I encourage everyone working to solve porn use or wanting to help others, to listen to this podcast. I learned so much from Zach and Darcy and their experience. Thank you, Zach and Darcy, for your courage to be in this space to help others. You are making a difference for good in our community. Links mentioned in the podcast: Podcast: Thrive Beyond Pornography https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/thrive-beyond-pornogr

My friend Will Edgel (who was on Episode 78 recorded nearly four years ago) joins us to update listeners on his life journey and his professional work as a gay man’s wellness coach. Will talks about having a boyfriend and also being an active Latter-day Saint and how he is navigating this road. Will then talks about his professional work as a wellness coach to release shame and help individuals move forward in their lives in a healthy and balanced way. Will shares many excellent insights that I believe helps our listeners. Concepts like: “life is much better on the other side of shame”, “differences between decisions and choices”, and finding worth and peace through “self validation”. If you are a queer Latter-day Saint, I believe the principles and perspective Will shares will help you. And if you are looking for community and wellness resources, you might check out willedgel.com Thank you will for being on the podcast and your good work to bring hope and healing. Your voice and work is nee

My friend Susan Siddoway (active LDS, married, mother of 6 and grandmother to 13) shared story of her daughter Holly who left the church, identified as bisexual, struggled with addiction, was single and pregnant and died at age 33 in 2019. Susan shares gospel principles, doctrinal insights and church leader statements that strengthened her love and support for her daughter. She talks of the light and knowledge that came to her about Holly’s journey here on earth, how she was so much more than someone who left the church and had addictions. She saw Holly as a beloved child of Heavenly Parents, who was serving and helping others. Susan tells of the many people who lined up to speak to her after Holly’s funeral services, telling about the light she had been to them and how she blessed their lives. She speaks of the heartbreaking decision Holly made to place her baby for adoption. Her strong feeling that a gay couple should adopt. The wonderful relationship Susan and her family have with these two won

My friend Zach Davis (married father of three, graduate of BYU and Harvard Divinity School) joins us to talk about Wayfare—a new magazine launched by Faith Matters in late 2022. Zach talks about the purpose of and vision for the magazine and how it is a community effort and how individuals can get involved in producing content for Wayfare. Zach also talks about Faith Matters—its purpose and vision and plans for second Restore in October of 2023 (Zach shares the actual dates and location in the podcast). Zach also shares some of his personal story to find his career path and principles and perspectives to help others make their way forward. I was deeply moved hearing more of Zach’s story. Thank you, Zach, for being on the podcast. Your personal story and work at Faith Matters is blessing many. And thank you to everyone involved at Faith Matters for your much needed work in our community. Links mentioned: Wayfare Magazine: https://www.wayfaremagazine.org/ Faith Matters: https://faithmatter

My friend Tammy Hill (Adjunct Faculty BYU, LMFT, Noted Speaker and Author, married mother of 12 in a blended family with her husband Jeff) joins us to talk about her groundbreaking new book for Latter-day Saints called “Replenish: Creating Sexual Fulfillment in Marriage, A Guide for LDS Couples”. In the podcast Tammy talks about how the book “is the answer for anyone who has been frustrated by information that is either too vague, too academic, too spiritual, or too pornographic. Providing accurate information and practical application—all within a gospel framework—the book is the perfect guide for couples who desire a fulfilling sexual relationship that replenishes them with the joy, unity, and oneness that love Heavenly Parents intended.” In the podcast Tammy vulnerably shares some of her own story, why she decided to write the book, what she hopes it will accomplish, and who should read the book. I had several ‘light-bulb’ moments as I heard Tammy’s concepts to bring a more positive and proactive

My friend Valerie Barton (active Latter-day Saint, in her 40s, married for 6 years) bravely shares her story believing her worth and purpose were in being married and having children—and having neither happen for nearly two decades. Valerie talks about things being typical and normal though her youth—but then things becoming more difficult during her 20s as she tried to move forward not being married. She talks about decided to attend college, receive her endowment and serving a mission—but still struggling with her purpose and value as a single Latter-day Saint and why our can create this in women. Valerie bravely shares the pain of being on her road—in a Church focused on the nuclear family. Valerie shares how she shifted her worth to be on things in her control—to being a daughter of Heavenly Parents and empowerment to chart her own course. If you are a single Latter-day or working to better support single Latter-day Saints, Valerie story and insights will help you. I wish I had heard the t

My friend Carol Lynn Pearson joins us to talk about the subject of love in five of the books she has written. These books are: Good-bye, I Love You (1986) No More Goodbyes (2007) I’ll Walk with You (2020) Finding Mother God (2020) The Love Map (2022) To order personally autographed copies of these books or see a complete list of Carol Lynn’s work, please visit: https://carollynnpearson.com/ The first two groundbreaking books are about how to better love and support LGBTQ Latter-day Saints. In the first book, Carol Lynn talks about loving and supporting her husband Gerald who died of AIDS in 1984. In the second book, Carol Lynn shares stories of LGBTQ Latter-day Saints. I read both books many years ago which were key for me to learn how to better support my LGBTQ friends. Carol Lynn also talks about the other three important books. I was deeply moved learning about these books, including the important role of Heavenly Mother in our lives. All of Carol Lynn life work is focused on the teachings

This is a solo podcast where I talk about why someone feels transgender, how to understand and best support them, and church resources. I also talk to those who experience gender dysphonia and principles for making thoughtful and informed decisions. My hope and prayer is this episode will bring more support to and understanding of our transgender friends—and better bring us together as the same human family. Links mentioned in the podcast: Church’s web site: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/topics/transgender Deseret New Article: https://www.deseret.com/faith/2022/4/27/23034223/latter-day-saint-leaders-lgbt-advocates-common-ground-washington-dc-temple-faith-religious-liberty Listen Learn and Love Transgender Podcast List: https://listenlearnandlove.org/transgender-and-more-podcasts Listen Learn and Love: Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints: Deseret Book: deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints and Amazon: amazon.com/dp/1462135773 Facebook Group to sup

My friend Josh Yordy joins us to bravely share his story. Josh talks about how mental health challenges ended his mission early and the positive support he received from his mission therapist, mission leaders, parents, and leaders back home in Flagstaff, Arizona. If you have returned home early or are supporting someone walking this road, Josh’s story will help you. Once home, Josh decided to address his sexual orientation, which he had avoided his whole life prior. Part of his journey was serving in the Los Angeles temple for six months in early 2022. Working with a therapist, being in the Temple, and a personal relationship with Heavenly Father helped Josh to accept being queer/bi-sexual in a positive, healthy, and authentic way. Josh talks about how he is navigating his road with both a testimony and being a queer Latter-day Saint. Josh is coming from a place of peace, confidence, faith, and hope—instead of shame and fear. I was deeply moved listening to the spiritual maturity of this 20-year-old man

My friend Sara Brewer, certified life coach, shares powerful insights to end porn use. Sara talks about the “roots” of porn use and a framework to address these roots in a hopeful and positive way to end porn use. I became aware of Sara after several mentioned to me how Sara helped them end porn use (including Koji Aoki who told his story on episode 544). Sara is part of a growing group of experts in this field who are bring a completely new paradigm to understand and solve porn use. I wish I had known the things Sara teaches before my YSA assignment—it would have given me more tools to help others. If you are looking to end porn use or help others, please listen to this podcast, and connect with Sara work (see links below). Thank you, Sara, for being on the podcast and your great work in our community. Links mentioned in the podcast: Sara’s web site: https://www.sarabrewer.com/ Sara’s Instagram: @sarabrewercoaching **Check out my new book that has a chapter (chapter 4) about solving po

My friend Emma Edwins (Masters Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy; Licensed Clinical Counselor) shares her remarkable story. Emma starts with her decision to join the Church while in college in Colorado. Emma then talks about why she left the church (for about ten years) and then talks about addressing her gender dysphoria—which led Emma to legally, socially, and medically transition to a woman. Emma talks about how much happier she is since transitioning—and how she longed to return to the Church. Emma, who lives in St. Paul Minneapolis, talks about her decision to go back to Church and the warm welcome she is receiving from her Ward, including attending Relief Society. Emma talks about why she decided to go back to Church and her testimony of our restored doctrine. Emma also talks about the challenges transgender Latter-day Saints face—including her desire to attend the temple, which is currently not possible. Emma has a You Tube channel called Stories of Latter-day Faith (see link below) which fea

My friend Jay Griffith (married father of 3) joins us to share his story of why he stays a Latter-day Saint, how he manages the complexity of being in the church, and why he loves/supports/respects his family and friends who are no longer Latter-day Saints, and lives without fear for their salvation. Jay also briefly talks about his monthly gathering, ThinkAgain-FaithAgain (begun nearly 10 years ago), and his association with Faith Matters. Jay is one of the most spiritual and thoughtful people I know. Jay’s insights and life story give all of us ideas about how to see each other as God sees us. Thank you, Jay, for being on the podcast. Honored to call you friend. Links mentioned in the podcast: ThinkAgain-FaithAgain: https://www.thinkagain-faithagain.life/ Faith Matters: https://faithmatters.org/ Jay welcomes direct contact with any who have questions or would just like to be listened to and walked with. You can reach him at jaygriffith4@gmail.com ** Please Check Out My LGBTQ Book At: ** De

My friend Alicia Hall (lives in Georgia, with husband & five children) joins us to share how she is using gospel principals and parenting skills to walk with and support her 17-year-old lesbian daughter McKenna (who came out at age 15). Alicia focuses on what we can do as parents to operate from a position of trust, love, acceptance—instead of a position fear, shame and looking backward in self-doubt. All this helping us as parents be in a better position to love and support an LGBTQ child. If you are a parent with a LGBTQ child—or want to be prepared to parent a LGBTQ child—please listen to this podcast. It is one of the very best we’ve done as Alicia combines her experience as a parent, life coach, and the gospel insights. Thank you, Alicia, for being on the podcast. I learned so much. Your voice and work are so need in our community. You can find Alicia on Facebook at @aliciahallcoaching or Instagram at @alliciahallcoaching Links mentioned in the podcast: Alicia’s web site: https://alicia