Listen, Learn & Love Hosted By Richard Ostler

My friend Ashely Smith (Married Mother of Six, Active LDS, Mayor of Cañon City, Colorado) shares the story of raising and supporting their gay son Kyle. This podcast is based on the excellent article that Ashley wrote for LDS Living in June 2022 (https://www.ldsliving.com/what-can-you-say-when-a-family-member-comes-out-as-gay-7-ideas-from-a-latter-day-saint-mom/s/10712). This is a powerful podcast. I encourage everyone to read the LDS Living article and listen to the podcast and then consider what you can do in your circle of influence to improve our understanding of and support for LGBTQ Latter-day Saints. Thank you, Ashley for being on the podcast and writing this LDS Living article. You are doing wonderful work in many areas to bless and help others. ** Please Check Out My LGBTQ Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773 ** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area

My friend Marie Cook (Active LDS, Age 28, Married Mother, Temple Square RM) bravely shares her story growing up in a home with a narcissistic mother. Marie discusses how she gradually realized her unhealthy upbringing and how these behaviors were becoming part of how she treated others. Following a painful breakup, Marie (with the help of friends) walked into BYU-Idaho counseling center to begin her road to healing and to break the cycle in her future family. It is a remarkable story of courage to change her trajectory and now help others. Marie, who is a certified recovery coach, shares helpful tips on her Instagram account @marieelliscook If you are in a relationship with someone who is narcissistic, this podcast will help you. If you want insights to help others in a narcissistic relationship, this podcast will help you. And if you have narcissistic tendencies, this podcast will help you. Thank you, Marie, for your courage to share your story.

My friend Isabelle Wheeler (age 23, UVU student, RM) bravely shares their journey as a nonbinary Latter-day Saint. Isabelle talks about their early life, college, serving a mission (Fort Lauderdale, FL), and their experiences following their mission. If you are nonbinary or transgender, Isabelle’s insights and experience will help you. If you are a parent or local leader trying to better support nonbinary or transgender Latter-day Saints, Isabelle’s story will help you. Thank you, Isabelle for your courage to be on the podcast. I was deeply moved hearing your experiences and gospel insights. You are remarkable and our Church is better with you as a member. Links mentioned in the podcast: Deseret News Article: https://www.deseret.com/u-s-world/2022/6/7/23157031/1-in-20-young-adults-identify-as-transgender-or-nonbinary-pew-survey-finds-pew-research-lgbtq LGBTQ Workshop Panel with Trans and Nonbinary Students: June 15th, Utah Valley University Institute, 7 pm, 785 College Dr, Orem, UT 84058

My friend Teresa Myers (BYU grad, RM, Recently Married, Active LDS) shares her story as a bisexual Latter-day Saint. Teresa starts with difficult years (including suicidal ideation) that has a component in her sexual orientation. Teresa talks about her decision come out to others, importance of therapy and her decision to share her story to help others. Teresa talks about exploring all possible roads and then feeling personal revelation that her path forward was to marry a man and fully participating in the Church. Teresa talks about opening up to her husband Corbin during the dating process and how that ended up strengthening their relationship and developed a better foundation for honestly, vulnerability and community. Their story is a wonderful love story. If you are a LGBTQ Latter-day Saint, please listen to Teresa’s story. It will help you. If you are a parent of someone wanting to better support LGBTQ Latter-day Saints, Teresa’s insights will help you. Thank you, Teresa for being on t

My friend Taryn Hiatt, Area Director Utah/Nevada American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, joins us to talk about suicide prevention. Taryn (who has been working in this space for over 20 years after her father Terry who died by suicide in 2002) talks about the various organizations available to those considering suicide, those working to prevent suicide, and support for suicide loss survivors. Taryn has great insights into the scope of these organizations and how they all work together for the common goal of suicide prevention. Taryn also shares her own journey as a survivor of being sexually assaulted and suicide attempts. For Taryn this isn’t theoretical—rather since she is walking this road—Taryn has real-life and practical insights to give hope and healing. Taryn talks about the “dark night of the soul” and finding hope that dawn will come. Her story is deeply moving and will help you. She also talks about how to better support our LGBTQ friends. If you are considering suicide or working

My friend Christian Judd shares the story of his brother Bryan who died by suicide in April of 2010. I became aware of Christian and his good work and message around this topic with these tweets: https://twitter.com/christianmjudd/status/1513174782723846145 https://twitter.com/christianmjudd/status/1513583004785917957 Dr. Judd, who is a board certified psychiatric and mental health nurse practitioner, shares insights on how to help individuals navigate when someone close has died by suicide. He also provides insight for those who have considered suicide. Here are three suicide prevention numbers. Please reach out for help if you are having suicidal thoughts: Huntsman Mental Health Institute Crisis line (Utah residents): 1-801-587-3000 National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255 The Trevor Project: 1-212-695-8650 Here is a link to the David Archuleta Love Loud video mentioned in the podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ooh6otPKmzE If you are having thoughts of suicide or hav

My friend Craig Jones (active LDS, married to his wife Jodi for 36 years, age 58, parents of three) joins us via Zoom from Edmonton, Canada to talk about his life-changing traumatic brain injury that occurred about ten years ago. Craig talks about being in a coma, rehab and then working to heal and move forward. Craig is full of hope and a positive attitude—even with his life permanently changed. If your mortal life has been forever changed because of medical issue in your life or a loved one, this podcast will help you. Thank you, Craig for being on the podcast. You are your wife Jodi are awesome.

My friend Chandler Rogers (New York City RM, Married, Age 24, BYU Grad) bravely shares his journey with overcoming pornography. Chandler talks about how it came into his life about 10 years ago, opening us to his Bishop and his Mother, leaving on his mission but still having slip-ups and opening up to his mission president, finishing his successful mission, coming home and opening up to his future wife Jade, how they navigated that reality and getting married. Chandler talks about the new app, Relay, he developed to help others working to solve unwanted porn use. The app makes it easy to form a strong support system and find healthy accountability and deeper connection for healing. You learn more about it at www.joinrelay.app. If you are working to end porn use or want to help others, please listen to this podcast. It will give you new insights and tools. And if you are trying to figure out how/when to open up to your significant other about your porn use, please listen to this podcast. Chandler's

My friend Jonathan Decker (active LDS, married father of 5, licensed marriage and family therapist) joins us to share his testimony which includes how he handles complicated aspects of church history and challenging current issues. It is beautiful testimony that includes the realities of difficult issues in our Church. I became aware of Jonathan when I read this testimony that was shared broadly on social media and asked him to be on the podcast. Here is a link to that testimony: https://www.facebook.com/JonoDecker/posts/10159801545877937 If you are in a faith crisis, trying to reconcile complicated issues, or helping others; please read Jonathan’s testimony and listen to this podcast. It will help you. For some, it might be the sustainable framework to remain in the Church—and I’ve learned that many in a faith crisis do want to find an authentic way to stay in the Church. You can read Jonathan's "Ask a Latter-day Saint Therapist" articles for LDS Living here: https://www.ldsliving.com/jonathan-d

My friends Angela Hughey (Co-founder and President, One Community of Arizona, gay) and Michael Soto (Chief Executive Officer of Equality Arizona, transgender man) join us to talk about the LDS supported LGBTQ legislation in Mesa, Arizona that was passed in 2021. Elder Neil L. Anderson, in his April 2022 Conference Talk titled Following Jesus: Being a Peacemaker, mentioned this effort (www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2022/04/15andersen). Thank you to the many Mesa area Church members who worked to get this legislation passed including Mayor John Giles and Councilwomen Julie Spilsbury. Angela and Michael talk about scaling this effort to a become a nationwide law in the “Equality and Fairness For All Americans” effort. They invite you to join this effort by June 24th at www.equalityandfairness.com/. Angela and Michael also talk about being invited and joining senior LDS Church leaders for the open houses for both the Mesa Arizona and Washington DC Temple open houses. They

My friend Ben Lee (Harvard Law Grad, Age 27) shares the story of feeling deep spiritual impressions to write a book during the rigors of law school to address his own journey to look inward to see pride and work to reduce pride to lift the burdens of others and find more long-term peace. Ben talks about the importance of Christ’s own example of humility and showing grace and love to everyone. This remarkable book is called Pride and Paradox: Exploring Christlike Humility and the Struggle to Defeat Pride and can be found at Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09WQVK19X This is a serious book. I am deeply impressed with Ben’s insights and honest reflections to help us create Zion. I encourage everyone to read and share Ben’s book. Thank you, Ben for being on the podcast and your needed voice to help bring us together as the same human family.

My friend Devorah Stucki (graduates May 2022 in Bioinformatics at the age of 19) joins us to share her story. Devorah focus on two main parts of her story. The first part is becoming aware she is lesbian by the end of High School and the second part is her experience at BYU. Devorah talks honestly about the challenges of being queer at a BYU student. As we hear difficult experiences, it is a chance for us how we can improve things for queer Latter-day Saints in our circle of influence. Devorah also talks about her decision to come out publicly and her advice to queer student consider or at BYU. Thank you, Devorah for being on the podcast and your courage to share your story. You’ve accomplished much in your short life and have a great life ahead of you. Richard 'Papa' Ostler ❤️ https://listenlearnandlove.org/gay-lesbian-same-sex-podcasts Podcast Link: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-524-devorah-stucki-queer-byu-student/id1347971725?i=1000560196752 ** Please Check Out My

My friend, Dr. Cameron Staley who is a clinical psychologist and was on Episode 345, joins us to share new insights and tools to understand and solve pornography use. Dr. Staley (active Latter-day Saint) discusses the four main reasons some struggle with pornography use and how ACT helps reduce/solve pornography viewing. If you are working to end pornography use or to help others, please listen to this podcast. I promise this podcast and ACT will help you. Thank you, Dr. Staley, for developing more tools and instilling hope and insights to help good people solve pornography use. Your work is so needed. The resources mentioned in the podcast are: Dr. Staley provides online counseling services to residents of Utah and Idaho. You can schedule counseling, check out the Life After Series Podcast, interviews, research, and free trainings on his website: https://cameronstaleyphd.wordpress.com/ or follow him @thelifeafterseries Life After Pornography online program: https://www.lifeafterpornography.com/sale

My friends, Andrea Neahusan (married mother of 6) and Amber Ayres (married mother of 5) bravely share their story of sexual, verbal, and emotional abuse by their father throughout their childhood. Their father’s severe manipulation kept the sisters from talking about the abuse the whole time. It wasn’t until Andrea was 19 that she finally revealed their secret to her Bishop and police got involved. They talk about the residual effects of their depression, anger, and PTSD from the abuse. After 25 years of living in a safe environment, Andrea and Amber now feel compelled to share the patterns of healing which included therapy, boundaries, and prayerful experiences that allowed the Atonement of Jesus Christ to heal their immense pain. Their hope is that their experiences will help others with traumatic pasts to know that healing and peace are possible. If you are a survivor of any abuse or trauma and seek hope for your future, please listen to Andrea and Amber. If you feel the pain from the realities of a b

My friends Brent Ebmeyer and Sarrah Groves join us to share some of their story including the role of the Savior in our lives. Brent and Sarrah (leaders at North Star) talk about the upcoming North Star conference—including its goals, who is invited and the role of North Star to help us come unto Christ. The theme of this year’s conference is "One in Christ" based on Galatians 3:28. I encourage everyone to attend. You can learn more about North Star and register for the upcoming conference (in-person and virtual) at northstarlds.org. Thank you, Brent and Sarrah, for your courage to share some of your story and for all the great work you and the rest of the team are doing at North Star. I was deeply moved hearing you speak and the gospel principles you shared to help us in our lives.

My friend Ciera Clayton bravely shares her story. Ciera talks about her love of and testimony of the Church, coming out, and trying to navigate her sexuality. Ciera talks about dating women and getting married and having a son. Ciera talks about that marriage ending but being on good terms with her former wife. Ciera talks about trying to date men and why that doesn’t work for her and why she returned to the Church. Thank you, Ciera for being on the podcast and your courage to share your story. Every queer LDS story is unique and different, and it helps us to hear a variety of stories to help better support our LGBTQ members. ** Please Check Out My LGBTQ Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773 ** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below ** https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143

My friend Clark Barrow (RM, Active LDS, Age 24, Married) bravely shares his journey with self-harm. Clark (who was on episode 398 with his siblings supporting their gay father Alec) talks about returning home from his mission to Utica, New York after 9 months with a knee injury. Clark talks about the anxiety of being home and how that experience led to significant anxiety and stress about when/if to return to his mission. That led Clark to finding a coping mechanism to numb the pain in self-harm. Clark talks about the shame and stigma around self-harm. Clark returned to Utica, New York and served for another 9 months before the stress/anxiety of the mission led Clark to turn to his copying mechanism of self-harm. Clark, showing great courage, opened up to his companion and Mission President which resulting in Clark returning home. Clark talks about being an early release missionary (twice) and what we can do to better support these good missionaries. Clark also talks about what led him to final

My friend Susie White (married mother of 4, early 50’s) shares her journey with PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder) and PME (Premenstrual Exacerbation) which is very different that Premenstrual syndrome (PMS). Susie, by bravely sharing her story, helps us understand what this is; how it impacts mental health and can lead to suicidal ideation; how it is not a spiritual weakness; how it is diagnosed; and how to get help. Please check out www.IAPMD.org for more information. Susie mentions Christina Bohn Rudd who died from suicide with PMDD (the obituary of this remarkable women can be read at: https://www.columbiatribune.com/obituaries/pclm0093521) and the work for her mother Marybeth to bring more understanding. Her obituary includes this section: Christina suffered from premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), which can become more serious the longer it is undiagnosed and untreated. We feel compelled to share the importance of seeking help for premenstrual disorders. Many women and AFAB indivi

My friend Brandon Galli joins us to share his remarkable story as a gay Latter-day Saint. Brandon, who grew up in Draper Utah and is 21 years-old, talks about acting on the impressions he has received that led him to come out, take a job with Disney in Florida, and then attend school at BYU-Hawaii. Brandon talks about his great parents and what they are doing to support him. Brandon talks about the positive experience he had a Disney and then at BYU-Hawaii including excellent experiences with administrators, faculty, and other students. Brandon talks about how BYU-Hawaii is helping to create Zion and gather Israel—for Israel includes LGBTQ Latter-day Saints. Brandon is mature, spiritual, deeply authentic with a self-confidence about who he is and his life mission that is remarkable and helps all of us. Thank you, Brandon for being on the podcast along with your wonderful and helpful insights. You are great man with a wonderful future. ** Please Check Out My LGBTQ Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.d

My friend Eli McCann (age 37, Ukraine RM, Lawyer, Married Skylar in 2019) shares his journey. Eli starts with the pre-mission years, his Ukraine mission (good experience), and his journey following his mission where he was forced to finally face the reality of being gay and how that looks at a Latter-day Saint. Eli shares the terror and anxiety he felt during these years which led to Eli coming out in late 2013 (age 29) and concluding his best path forward is a committed same-sex marriage where we could build/share his life with someone. Eli also talks about his love of Ukraine and the fundraiser that he organized (along with many others) in March 2022 to help raise over $150,000 for the people of Ukraine. Thank you for your continued efforts to bless lives in Ukraine. Thank you, Eli for being on the podcast. Your story helps us see each other as members of the same human family and principles that help us love, honor and support everyone on their respective paths—where we have unity in diversity.