Body Counts And Beer

It's finally happened. It took two years, but it's finally happened. The moon and the stars and the sun and the planets have aligned, and given unto us our greatest blessing: Nic Cage as John Travolta and John Travolta as Nice Cage! This week, we're taking on the 1997 John Woo classic FACE/OFF! Grab yourself a peach and creepily savor it for hours as we cover all the bases on this one, including: Proper weight gain technique for those that have been Face/Offed; We get sidetracked naming all the G.I. Joe characters, and there are way more than you thought; Mark savagely defends the honor of Christopher Cross; the extensive and intensive therapy all the characters in Face/Off will need to endure; Sex Calzones; tips and hints to win Supermarket Sweep; and the secret to airplane flight (HINT: it involves ritual sacrifice!). Dear Bowling Alley Owners: Patrick Bromley has ALL your shoes. Please subscribe via iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave us a rating and re

Strap on your magnetic boots! Bust out your striped onesies! Gather all the cigarettes and ramen you can get your hands on! This week, we're discussing our FAVORITE MOVIE PRISONS! We holed up in the "studio" until we finished this minisode of minisodes, and along the way discovered some things about ourselves: Klingons need rocks for reasons! A community service reminder that Service Merchandise was a very real store some people went to! Mark tells a convoluted tale about his visit to a Planet Hollywood! We deny Alien 3 a spot on the honorable mentions list! PLUS: some of the surliest life hacks you've ever heard! Please subscribe via iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave us a rating and review so we have something to read on the john! Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com/BodyCountCast Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/bodycountsandbeer/ Email us: bodycountsandbeer@gmail.com Let us know what you liked, what you hated, your favorite prison tattoo, your le

OOH YEAH BROTHER! This week, in apropos of absolutely nothing, we're throwing down a standalone minisode celebrating our FAVORITE WRESTLERS...and some other stuff too! We begin by casting the MCU Avengers as professional wrestlers, then pick our favorite wrestlers, then honorable mentions and in between there's a whole lot of weirdness, including: Paul Bearer as Mjolnir! Jon tells us the Legend of Kenny Omega! Macho Man drops by! And other things! PLUS: More! Please subscribe via iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave us a rating and review so we have something to upload to our new Angelfire website! Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com/BodyCountCast Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/bodycountsandbeer/ Email us: bodycountsandbeer@gmail.com Let us know what you liked, what you hated, your favorite late night taco joint in Chicago, your favorite Bushwacker, what movie to watch next or ANYTHING AT ALL!

For the first time in our long and storied existence, we're on time to capitalize on a current action movie event! With the release of Avengers: Infinity War tomorrow (or tonight, for those lucky few like ME!), we've decided to go all the way back to 2012 to revisit the first superhero team 'em up: Joss Whedon's THE AVENGERS! Aside from all the blastin', shieldin', hammerin', sky laserin' good times we've all seen millions of times, we also cover the little things: Patrick and Jon attempt to explain Minecraft to Mark...again! We build our own Avengers-like squad of TV judges! We discover the spiteful final resting place of the "lost" Wu-Tang Clan album! Mark staunchly defends Dungeons and Dragons! We lament the lack of orgies in the MCU! PLUS: we get sidetracked by Tom Bombadil talk WAY TOO EARLY! Please subscribe via iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave us a rating and review so we can afford a non-GeoCities website! Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com/BodyC

In honor of our 50th episode, we felt it was time to reach all the back into the distant past of 2016 and revisit an oldie but a not-so-goodie. This week, we FINALLY make good on our lost pilot and take on the 1985 Schwarzenegger rampage-in-movie-form COMMANDO! Listen in as we discuss every salient point COMMANDO has to offer, as well as ANYTHING ELSE: We meet Trash Doctor MD! We take a minute to shit all over Generation X AND Fosters beer! We attempt to answer that age old question: what does California do for donuts? Patrick and Jon try to explain Star Trek's Federation of Planets to Mark and he DOES NOT GET IT! Once again, Mark and Jon torture Patrick by butchering nautical terms. BONUS: Jon's operating system crashes during Bullet Points! Please subscribe via iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave us a rating and review so when you Lycos search us, we actually show up! Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com/BodyCountCast Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com

*BLEEP* *ZORP* *OTHER 8-BIT NOISE* This week we're celebrating the ACTION MOVIES THAT SHOULD BE VIDEO GAMES, because we're creatively bankrupt and nobody took Mark's suggestion for BEST MONTAGE JAMZ! Listen as we cover a little bit of everything: new ways to experience throat ripping! A debate over VHS board games! Michael Madsen drunk sleepwalking through movies AND games! People suits! Some kind AND harsh words for Kevin Smith! More! And SOME more! PLUS: etc! Please subscribe via iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave us a rating and review so when you Bing us, we actually show up! Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com/BodyCountCast Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/bodycountsandbeer/ Email us: bodycountsandbeer@gmail.com Let us know what you liked, what you hated, your favorite coin from another country, why your favorite coin from a foreign country is Canada'a Tooney because it's a big coin with a little coin inside, what movie to watch next or ANYTHI

What is the only thing better than one Van Damme? TWO VAN DAMMES! What is the only thing better than two Van Dammes? A MOVIE STARRING TWO VAN DAMMES! This week, we FINALLY take on the 1991 martial arts/property rights actioner DOUBLE IMPACT! We cover SO MUCH this week, including: the Ins and Outs of bridge ownership! Patrick dies on the hill of nautical terminology! How the Trump administration has drastically changed how we measure things! Mark highly recommends Magic Mike XXL! Another dynamtie drop-in by Paul Harvey! We try (and fail) to figure out what exactly VSOP means! PLUS: another special guest appearance by Dee Amaral, who tries to explain Canadian politics to three dumdums! Please subscribe via iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave us a rating and review so we can read them to our future children as bedtime stories! Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com/BodyCountCast Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/bodycountsandbeer/ Email us: bodycountsandbeer

Like most things we do here, we're a little behind, but who cares? WE DO! It's finally time to hunker down and celebrate with our (Mildly Belated) TWO YEAR PODVERSARY SPECIAL! We're going over our Favorite and Least Favorite Movies of the last year! The movies that surprised us the most! Some Honorable Mentions for good measure! And a glimpse into the future for movies we want to cover! PLUS: Mark tells his sad Chris Claremont story that may have a happy ending AND we reserve harsh words for Billy Corgan for no real reason whatsoever! Please subscribe via iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave us a rating and review so our pangs of self doubt can blossom into pangs of virulent confidence! Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com/BodyCountCast Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/bodycountsandbeer/ Email us: bodycountsandbeer@gmail.com Let us know what you liked, what you hated, where to procure precious prosciutto, your favorite Short Circuit 2, what movie to wa

BAM! POW! ZAP! These are the onomatopoeias that could have saved an entire cinematic universe! Instead, we were served the flabby, dry, crusty slab of trash meat called JUSTICE LEAGUE! The latest in a brief line of apathetic turds thrust upon humanity by Warner Bros! Listen as we absolutely excoriate this cinematic cracked toilet bowl: Jon finally defines the antithesis of action movies! We learn that nobody gives a rat's ass about secret identities! Mark goes HAM at the end! Flash and Cyborg: Casual Grave Robbers! We try to determine who lowered the frame rate on all the CGI! The uncanny valley pays an unfortunate visit to Henry Cavill's face! BATCRAB! Flash's Mjolnir arms! PLUS: we attempt to figure out the maddening geography of Metropolis, Gotham City and Chicago! Please subscribe via iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave us a rating and review so we cans does goods for youse! Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com/BodyCountCast Like us on Facebook: www.face

This week, on a very special not-so-mini minisode, we're finally banding together and pumping out our very own COMIC BOOK MOVIE PITCHES! After sitting through the grueling boredom of Justice League (next week's show!), we shrugged our collective shoulders, said "Meh, can't be any worse," and vomited out our own pitches for comic book movies. Listen as Jon explores the crazy world of Grant Morrison! Patrick chooses the weird, redheaded, British stepchild of the X-Men! Mark takes the easy way out with a story that's already been partially cannibalized by Hollywood! PLUS: turns out Matthew Vaughan is just Guy Ritchie with standards and taste! Please subscribe via iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave us a rating and review so when you AskJeeves us, we actually show up! Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com/BodyCountCast Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/bodycountsandbeer/ Email us: bodycountsandbeer@gmail.com Let us know what you liked, what you hated, your

PEW PEW! It has been a crazy time in the Body Counts and Beer offices, but we've FINALLY made it out of the morass of technical difficulties! Join us this week as we finally catch up (until Solo comes out) with the Star Wars Saga as we discuss THE LAST JEDI! In this mega-sized episode, we cover just about everything! How much everything? Enough everything that it would be almost impossible to explain it in pithy podcast description! Prepare for the worst British accents, the return of Best Weapon, Mark's wife coming home with a bucket, and so much more! Please subscribe via iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave us a rating and review so we can bake those stars into a delicious pasta with cream sauce! Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com/BodyCountCast Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/bodycountsandbeer/ Email us: bodycountsandbeer@gmail.com Let us know what you liked, what you hated, the location of your cache of precious gemstones, your favorite horse sh

After a long layoff brought upon us by Mark's complete technical ineptitude, we have returned with all new glorious original content! This week, we're discussing our FAVORITE DIVISIVE MOVIES! Why? Because next week we're talking about a certain war among the stars that has panties in a bundle worldwide for no apparent reason. Listen in as we do our best to not scream at each other over our terrible choice of films: Jon goes to bat for an updated 50s B-movie, Patrick goes to bat for the second most boring Star Trek, and Mark goes to bat for a movie that was almost universally hated upon release, and now is considered part of comedy canon. Also: jokes. Please subscribe via iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave us a rating and review so when we tell people we have a podcast, we have proof you actually listen to it! Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com/BodyCountCast Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/bodycountsandbeer/ Email us: bodycountsandbeer@gmail.com Le

PEW PEW! In a shocking turn of events, a new Star Wars movie has hit the theaters. In an even shockinger turn of events, we're capitalizing on it by talking about 2016's ROGUE ONE! In the shockingerest turn of events, we're still three weeks late! Sit back, crack open a can of blue milk, and listen as we discuss almost everything BUT Star Wars: Mark educates the guys on the finer points of Perfect Strangers! None of know the British definition of pudding, and it makes us mad! Another installment of the Jon Rooney Prequels Minute! We take turns degrading space! HUTTS AREN'T PEOPLE! And turns out the dying words of Galen Erso are just Life Pro Tips for the kitchen. BONUS: Star Wars architects love deep, hard shafts. Please subscribe via iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave us a rating and review so we can throw those stars into the fountain at the mall and make a wish. Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com/BodyCountCast Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/body

Gather ye round, and I shall tell ye a tale. A tale of three idiots mumbling around yon microphone. And what is it they mumble about? Why, their FAVORITE WAR MOVIE of course! Why didn't this opening have anything to do with war movies? Good question! Listen in as the guys cover some, if not all, bases when it comes to military cinema: Patrick can't believe nobody chose any of the Underworld films! Mark probably owns a copy of the Dracula 2000 soundtrack! Jon can conjured into existence a la Beetlejuice! Also, definitive evidence that Sean Connery does NOT play Ivan Drago is Hunt for Red October. Please subscribe via iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave us a rating and review so our bones can be nice and strong! Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com/BodyCountCast Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/bodycountsandbeer/ Email us: bodycountsandbeer@gmail.com Let us know what you liked, what you hated, your preferred cake frosting, your least favorite Emerson,

Merry Christmas! We watched John McTiernan's Beowulf ripoff THE 13TH WARRIOR! Does this have anything to do with Christmas? No! Did we not realize that until this very moment? You bet! Listen closely as we BLAZE through this dreary dump fest: Jon angrily decries the lack of Gungans! Arnold Schwarzenegger audio commentary for all movies! The lackluster return of Favorite Mall Restaurants! Mark mistakes Hair Metal for Satanic Panic Metal! We introduce our spinoff podcast Drinky Drinky Blow Bang! Arnold Schwarzenegger describes the act of making love! Please subscribe via iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher, Google Play or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave us a rating and review so we can sell naming rights to those stars to suckers! Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com/BodyCountCast Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/bodycountsandbeer/ Email us: bodycountsandbeer@gmail.com Let us know what you liked, what you hated, your favorite baked potato topping, your side in the eternal war between Mer

The sounds presented within this minisode represent the cracking of already fragile psyches. What began as a simple exercise in choosing our FAVORITE BEER became a journey into the Mouth of Madness. Do we even mention our FAVORITE BEER? Sort of... Listen closely my brave compatriots, for we cover so much more than just our favorite yeast/malt/barley/hops/water beverages. For example: Mark angers his wife by damaging the coffee table! Our Favorite David Lynch Movies! We anxiously await our future spinoff Jon Fights Fans! Our Favorite Smash Mouth Songs! Mark judges books based on the number of Patrick Stewarts they have! Our Favorite Huey Lewis Songs! We welcome back previous guests Julia Rigby (Predator) and Dee Amaral (Rambo III)! Our Favorite Bands That We Love and All Our Friends Hate! Alternate timeline versions of Ed Kowalczyk, lead singer of Live! And our Favorite Jon Rooney! Please subscribe via iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher, Google Play or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave us a ra

COOOOOOBRAAAAAAA!!! No, we're not discussing anything even tangentially related to GI Joe. Instead, we're taking on the 1986 Stallone shoot 'em up COBRA! So why did we yell "COOOOOOBRAAAAAA!!!" when we're not talking about GI Joe? Don't worry about it! Listen as Jon unleashes his Robert Smith/Morrissey theory! Mark loves quinceaneras! We take a brief moment to crap all over Gilbert & Sullivan! The best Neil Young reference ever! We give you the best tips to succeed on Supermarket Sweep! And BREAKING NEWS: almost everyone is in The Love Guru! Please subscribe via iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher, Google Play or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave us a rating and review so we can eat those stars and become invincible! Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com/BodyCountCast Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/bodycountsandbeer/ Email us: bodycountsandbeer@gmail.com Let us know what you liked, what you hated, your preferred brand of Rye the whiskey, your preferred brand of Rye the bread, what movie

You have the right to remain AWESOME! This week, our three lovable idiots return from their respective Thanksgiving food comas to celebrate the boys who sometimes wear blue! That's right, this week we're discussing our FAVORITE MOVIE COPS! Listen as we weave our patented narratives of pop culture references and digressive behavior around the Legend of Billy Shats! Mark once again goes to bat for "The Grinder!" For the second consecutive minisode, Jon goes full-on Three Flavours Cornetto! Patrick waxes philosophical about Lorenzo Lamas! STEVE MILLER! And, as per usual, MAJOR SPOILERS for Fargo: The TV Show! Please subscribe via iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher, Google Play or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave us a rating and review because our refrigerator is bare! Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com/BodyCountCast Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/bodycountsandbeer/ Email us: bodycountsandbeer@gmail.com Let us know what you liked, what you hated, your thoughts on white after Labor Day,

GIANT MONSTERS! GIANT ROBOTS! OTHER STUFF! This week, we're entering the Drift with 2013's PACIFIC RIM! Usually we'd put another joke or something here, but hey: GIANT MONSTERS VS. GIANT ROBOTS!!! Jon names his three favorite ocean parts! We cover the scriptwriting process of Guillermo Del Toro! A discussion of all the walls and their respective effectivenesses! More of Jon Rooney's patented A/V component talk! MULTIPLE TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES RESULTING IN HARSH CUTS AND OCCASIONAL MUSICAL INTERLUDES! Mark finally debuts his amazing Winston Churchill impression! Another guest appearance by BCAB All-Star Dee Amaral! Please subscribe via iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher, Google Play or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave us a rating and review so we can upgrade our personal computers with new fonts! Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com/BodyCountCast Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/bodycountsandbeer/ Email us: bodycountsandbeer@gmail.com Let us know what you liked, what you hated, your per

We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate...our FAVORITE ALIEN INVASION! That's right, since we're talking about PACIFIC RIM next week, and we've already done Giant Monsters and Robots, we're discussing our Favorite Incursions by Extraterrestrial Beings! Patrick goes old school! Jon goes new school! Mark lands somewhere between, which is middle school we guess? Along the way, we wonder why Elijah Wood made "The Good Son," the glory of having two Jack Nicholsons, and a Donald Sutherland impression so powerful Kiefer came to the studio to ask to borrow the car! Please subscribe via iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher, Google Play or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave us a rating and review, so we can have definitive proof that we're not the only living humans left in the world! Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com/BodyCountCast Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/bodycountsandbeer/ Email us: body