Love Life Connection

Is it normal to be confused or hesitant about whether to see someone again after the first date? I get this question often from clients, and unfortunately, there’s no formula that’ll work perfectly to answer this for everyone. But you can still look at certain things to gain some perspective or ask yourself some questions.  In this episode, I cover a few things to think about after the first date to help you determine whether or not a relationship is worth pursuing. 7:48 - The two ends of the dating or relationship spectrum you don’t want to be in 11:40 - Where you want to be when you’re dating someone new 14:41 - Why I like to give people two or three dates (with one exception) 17:01 - Rule of three: what that means, what mine is, and why I encourage you to have it 19:58 - Why you should consider dating someone you normally wouldn’t 24:58 - The tricky thing about feeling bored in a relationship 26:22 - Ask yourself this when in doubt about your feelings 28:48 - One last thing you need to know about this topi

Long-time listeners might get a sense of déjà vu with today’s show. This is a coaching call from 2019 but a very popular, timely, and super relatable one. That’s because what my guest Andree-Anne and I discuss is something a lot of women, including myself, have experienced. If you tend to get wrapped up emotionally (and physically) with new partners long before any real connection gets made, you’re not alone. Listen in as I help Andree-Anne discover the truth behind her relationship attachment tendencies and offer strategies for breaking the pattern. 5:56 - Questions to keep in mind as you listen to this coaching call 10:07 - Why Andree-Anne feels she gets attached to guys too fast 13:24 - The pattern she has seen since the age of four that she fears is playing out in her own love life 18:43 - A short, complete-the-sentence exercise to get to the uncomfortable truth behind her issue 21:45 - What she believes a relationship will provide her that she can’t provide for herself now 23:00 - How she can connect wit

You’ve consumed all the information you can find on dating and relationships. Yet, you’re either not attracting the kind of person you want or are still in a relationship you want out of. Does that sound like you? You’re stuck in a pattern, and to get out of it involves unlearning what got you there and then re-learning new skills. In this episode, I talk about the four stages of learning any new skill to help you shift patterns that keep cropping up in your love life. But to start the show, I discuss a little about dating someone with different political beliefs, as that’s been an increasingly hot topic among my clients lately. 2:40 - Why dating someone of a different political persuasion isn’t about 100% agreement (and what you SHOULD look for instead) 9:34 - The situation women should avoid getting themselves into when it comes to interpolitical relationships 12:22 - One thing I have clients do when they’re beginning to date again 17:23 - Signs of being in the first stage of learning any new skill: unconsc

Do you remember the episode with Sophie? She felt frustrated about an ex moving on so quickly after the end of their 12-year relationship. That call, and the fact that we’re in the season of engagement which often induces comparison and feelings of jealousy, have inspired me to expand on this discussion. Today, I talk about getting out of the comparison trap and jealousy traps and how to get overthinking about your ex all the time. 6:55​ - How we’ve been trained to compare ourselves to others 9:51 - What happens when you beat yourself up for comparing yourself to others 13:04 - The simple phrase to train your brain when you realize you’ve fallen into the comparison trap 16:33 - One of my favorite tricks to handle jealousy 21:16 - A comforting perspective if you had an unhealthy relationship with an ex who’s in a new relationship 26:52 - The two phases of getting over an ex (most women get stuck in the second one) 34:36 - What might happen if you continue ruminating over your ex I hope you enjoyed this episode

Jenn has a bit of an unusual situation going on. She’s in a relationship with someone she dated, but it’s not really a romantic relationship anymore. Instead, she has a situationship going on, and she wants to know how to get back to the way things were before they broke up. What starts out as a conversation about boundaries moves beyond that and takes a different turn. In this coaching episode, I help Jenn discover the real reason behind her struggle to decide what to do about her situation and ways to work through it. 2:30 - Jenn explains her confusing situationship and what she needs out of it 9:15 - Why rebuilding trust after it’s been broken is really hard 12:38 - Getting to the heart of why Jenn is struggling to let go of this relationship 20:46 - Something pretty traumatic that sticks out in Jenn’s mind during this inner child exercise 26:25 - Why I want Jenn to focus on leaning into the anger she feels 33:19 - Working on your anger and why you need to get that emotion out of your head 38:33 - Breaking

Frustrated in your love life and looking for help? You have many tools and resources available to you, but you need to make sure you understand the specific purpose of each one. I’ve had clients frustrated with therapy because they thought or wanted it to be more like coaching when they’re not the same thing. So to help you figure out what’s best for you, in this episode I break down the three main services that can support you in your love life. 3:11​ - Quick definitions for each type of main service you can use 5:45 - Reasons why someone might want to hire a matchmaker 8:35 - Four reasons why I’m hesitant on suggesting you work with a matchmaker 19:08 - How long to work with a coach and when you should work with a therapist instead 22:45 - How to know it’s time to work with a coach and the differences between coaching and therapy 26:17 - My sweet spot as a coach when working with clients  I hope you enjoyed this episode! Find me on Instagram or email me with your feedback. I look forward to hearing from you

Imagine being with someone for years. Then one day it ends, and your ex has moved on rather quickly... a little too quickly for you, in fact.  My caller Sophie knows exactly how that feels, and to say the least, she’s hurt and confused by it. In this episode, I walk her through what she needs to do to work through her current lack of trust and belief in love and the sad, angry feelings that come along for the ride. 4:58 - Why I think the topic of getting over an ex is such a misunderstood subject 6:52 - What happened with Sophie and her ex and what’s behind the fear she can’t overcome 11:20 - Signs that Sophie’s relationship was over and what they have to do with her past prior 16:24 - Something I want to highlight about inner child work (especially if you had a good childhood) 18:35 - What needs to happen for Sophie and why she seems more emotionally affected by the breakup than her ex 24:42 - An exercise to send forgiveness to a previous (adult) version of Sophie 29:38 - Why some people don’t get past the s

The holidays can be difficult for many reasons, but it can be especially difficult for single people looking for a relationship or those who feel stuck in a relationship they don’t want. You have to not only deal with feelings of loneliness or not feeling good enough in your relationship, but you have relatives who want to pry into your personal life when you’re just not up for it.  In this episode, I want to talk about how to handle the holiday blues, the nosiness that often comes with family gatherings this time of year, and reveal a different way to think about gratitude this Thanksgiving. 2:39 - One thing that doesn’t get mentioned enough about gratitude 5:01 - How to handle nosy relatives during the holidays 12:25 - Dealing with the holiday blues when you’re single (and don’t want to be) or not in the relationship you want 14:33 - The first thing to do when feeling the holiday blues 17:34 - The second thing you can do to deal with the seasonal blues 20:03 - The third step and why I encourage some new cli

My client Crystal feels pretty annoyed by who she’s attracting into her love life. All she seems to get are a bunch of immature men! But is it really about the men? Or is something else going on here? In this episode, I help Crystal reveal some things about her boundaries. I also discuss dealing with anger and frustration and the effect of how society teaches men and women to behave in certain ways. 3:04 - One thing I see right off the bat with Crystal 9:11 - How sometimes your greatest gift can be your greatest shadow 14:50 - Where Crystal’s tendency to be overly generous comes from 19:03 - Why I recommend Crystal take a break from dating even though she’s been single for a long time 25:48 - How to tell when your boundaries are being crossed over and over 27:31 - Setting boundaries for relationships goes beyond your words 29:04 - Why doing inner child work can help you with setting relationship boundaries 31:09 - Stereotypes we’ve all heard about men and women (and how to temper their effect on your love lif

How you do one thing is how you do everything. While this podcast focuses on romantic relationships, I find that a lot of my clients have similar patterns and issues that show up in their platonic relationships too, especially friendships. In this episode, I talk about how to make more friends, how to form better friendships with new and older friends alike, and how to deal with conflict within your friendships (including ending them). 4:41 - The myth about making more friends (and where it comes from) 7:04 - A favorite way to grow your friendship circle (and two assumptions that’ll help make it easier) 16:46 - How making better friends is similar to making new ones 19:59 - Building up your rejection resilience muscle and learning to stay unattached to the outcome 23:02 - Keys to setting boundaries within better friendships 27:03 - Common patterns I notice with clients who have conflicts with friends 29:13 - When it’s time to have a conversation with a friend and how to navigate conflict within friendships 34

You don’t have examples of successful romantic relationships in your life or the lives of others around you. So how can you keep the faith? When it comes to dating, others' beliefs and actions take up space in your head. So how can you get them out? You only take action in your love life when you feel sure you won’t face rejection. So how can you get more comfortable going out on a limb and showing some vulnerability? These are the kinds of issues that my caller Angelina faces. In this episode, I cover a lot of dating mindset practices to help her get out of her own head and discern what’s real. If her situation applies to you too, then keep the above questions in mind as you listen to today’s show. 8:07 - The two big things I see right away with Angelina’s situation 10:54 - One thing Angelina needs to re-frame about her past relationships 15:09 - Why your energy is so important when it comes to dating 19:49 - Why frustration isn’t really one of the issues for Angelina 24:53 - Truth versus stereotypes about o

Sherry Argov’s book Why Men Love Bitches has sold millions of copies since its debut and has tons of reviews, most of them positive. It even had a resurgence in interest recently, so I thought I’d read through it for myself. In this episode, I break down the introduction and first chapter and the author’s four attraction principles. As you listen, you’ll discover why I feel the way I do about Argov’s work regardless of the nuggets of truth within her book. 1:53 - Why I wanted to start this potential podcast series 6:37 - Something weird about the book’s author  12:06 - Some of my initial reactions while reading through the book 15:45 - How I feel about Argov’s description and use of the word “bitch” 17:58 - Why I’ve started backing off of using the terms “feminine” and masculine”  23:06 - The main message from the men interviewed for the book 26:17 - An example of how the author muddles her message 29:25 - Why I find the first chapter of the book objectifying and trope-y 36:22 - Attraction principle #2 and wh

You’re on a first date and want a second one, but the other person doesn’t. Or they want a second date, but you don’t. This pattern keeps repeating in your love life and no matter what, you can never seem to find someone with a mutual interest and attraction for a relationship. That’s the predicament in which my caller today finds herself. Chrissie wants to know why this keeps happening to her and what she can do about it. If this describes you as well, then tune to discover what might be the issue and how to address it. 8:01​ - Chrissie’s dating pattern and what it reveals about who she’s attracted to 13:25 - A very common mistake people make when seeking out romantic relationships 18:03 - Where Chrissie’s fear of abandonment comes from 24:02 - The actions steps I recommend Chrissie take next 29:29 - Recapping the first round of this coaching call with Chrissie 32:58 - The first big piece that Chrissie needs to address 37:50 - The second big piece that Chrissie must address I hope you enjoyed this episode! F

Dating more intuitively isn’t just all about feelings over logic. There’s something else you need to date more intuitively without anxiety overtaking your relationships. In this episode, I talk about the purpose of different energies in your body, the four goals of intuitive dating, and how it all helps you engage logic with intuition in your love life to create a healthy and firm dating foundation. 2:08 - How the energy of your head and body differ and are designed to work together 7:56 - Examples of disempowering relationship beliefs and the behaviors they can spawn 12:12 - The first goal of intuitive dating you should strive for 14:35 - The second goal of dating intuitively 16:32 - The third goal of intuitive dating and the difference between intuition and fear 20:35 - The fourth and final goal of dating intuitively 25:34 - My intuitive dating framework and why you need it to help you navigate any situation you’re in I hope you enjoyed this episode! Find me on Instagram or email me with your feedback. I lo

Your intuition is always there. It can be hard to hear or loud and clear, but it’s there all the same. It’s just a matter of accessing it and trusting it. In my self-trust podcast series over the last three weeks, I’ve talked about self-trust and having a stronger relationship with your intuition. In this episode, I talk with Denise who has really begun using and embodying the skills I talked about in that series and in my Intuitive (formerly Embodied) Dating workshop. This is a bit of an unusual episode in that it’s kind of a coaching episode but also just a back-and-forth conversation between Denise and I. In it, we discuss intuitive yes/no responses versus impulsive/fearful ones and how those responses feel different in the body. 7:54 - Denise reveals something that happened a few months ago 11:46 - Why seeing yourself as victim or victor with life challenges is a false dichotomy 17:05 - How Denise experiences her intuitive feeling and how it helped her respond to the ending of her relationship 19:09 - Exa

A lot of the self-help available out there harms more than it helps. Too much of it encourages you to discount your negative feelings about why things happened to you. I started a conversation about this whole thing in last week’s episode.  In this episode, I want to wrap up that conversation with how you can consume self-help in a healthy, helpful way and reveal three ways you can trust yourself more. 5:54 - How Harry Potter and the hero’s journey illustrate my preferred approach to self-help personally and professionally 9:36 - The three stages of alchemy and how the process also demonstrates true self-transformation 13:38 - One of my favorites ways to help clients build self-trust 16:55 - The second way you can build up trust in yourself (which can be fun or uncomfortable, depending on your point of view) 22:44 - A third way that helps when you don’t have lots of evidence to back up your decision-making 26:57 - Taking the next step into my brand new and totally free challenge 29:21 - Why I believe I avoid

I’m a big believer in understanding why you feel what you feel (or don’t feel). There are infinite reasons why you might find it difficult to trust yourself when making relationship decisions. But in talking and working with thousands of women over the years, I’ve noticed a couple of big ones. In today’s episode, I reveal three of the most common reasons why it’s hard to trust yourself in your love life. 7:59 - Why your mind shouldn’t be the only thing you use to make decisions 10:46 - Example of how your mind can go into overdrive (and how society make things worse) 13:36 - How education or “edutainment” shows up as another culprit in your lack of self-trust in dating 18:04 - Why this third reason for your lack of self-trust lights such a fire under my ass 24:37 - What’s missing in a lot of mindset work and “new age” concepts like the Law of Attraction 28:00 - How all three reasons can compound on themselves and work in tandem I hope you enjoyed this episode! Find me on Instagram or email me with your feedba

If you can’t trust yourself, you’ll find it hard to trust others. Seems obvious, right? Self-trust is the foundation to everything else, including dating. In reality, though, it’s not always as black and white as it seems. So today kicks off a three-part series all about how to trust yourself more when dating. And in this first episode, I cover three reasons why and provide examples to illustrate how not doing so can show up in and affect your love life. 4:27 - Not trusting yourself leaves you vulnerable to this 8:21 - How not trusting myself ultimately affected my love life in grad school 10:06 - Why this little phrase from well-meaning people makes me so mad 13:18 - How a lack of discernment with friends and family about your love life can sabotage you 18:08 - Why putting more trust in external resources (including me) instead of yourself can lead you astray 21:48 - One last, very important thing I have to say about trusting yourself more in your love I hope you enjoyed this episode! Find me on Instagram or

Back when I originally recorded this episode in 2019, I felt some resistance to doing so. It’s a little bit of a tricky subject about coachability. I didn’t feel like the kind person to say who is or isn’t coachable, despite working one-on-one with lots of women.  But there are key differences in those who got far with my coaching versus those who don’t. In this episode, I reveal the tell-tale signs of coachability and uncoachability so you can see where you land and if you’re ready to get farther in obtaining the relationship you desire. 7:00 - My definition of coachable and why it has nothing to do with worthiness 9:56 - One sign of uncoachability that I hear from a lot of potential clients 13:23 - An uncoachability sign that closes you off from possibility 14:55 - A telltale sign that, while usually fine, can mean you’re uncoachable if you approach it like this 17:08 - Something a lot of my audience hides behind that shows uncoachability 18:38 - The constant feeling about dating that also shows uncoachabil

You hear a lot of talk about self-love. Particularly, you’re told that you need to love yourself before someone else can. My caller Leonnie certainly agrees, but she doesn’t know where to start. In fact, she struggles with the whole concept. So today, we talk about what self love is, how you can increase it, and even go beyond that to the unexpected. If you’re not sure what self-love is, what it feels like, or how it applies to you, this episode could shift your relationship with yourself. 3:41 - Leonnie describes her struggle with the self-love concept 9:16 - Why Leonnie finds it difficult to pump up her self-love meter 17:57 - Something I think is more important than self-love 20:54 - How self-help books can create more harm than good 24:05 - Questions to ask yourself (and a tool to use) if you’re not feeling the self-love you think you should 27:47 - How the work I do with clients can change your relationship with yourself AND transform areas outside your relationship I hope you enjoyed this episode! Find