Life Over Coffee With Rick Thomas

Shows Main Idea – Did you know a wife can unwittingly motivate her husband to continue in his passivity? Suppose she does not understand the dynamics of his heart, shaping influences, and habituated ways of responding to social challenges. In that case, she may be unable to cooperate with the Lord to restore him to the leadership role God has called him to. Though she is not responsible for his sin, a wife can complicate what is happening to him, motivating him to continue in his passivity. Discerning a spouse's tendencies and strategizing how to serve each other are gifts from God. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-45-wife-can-motivate-husband-passive/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Harshness is one of the most typical forms of anger, and the most common context for it is within a family construct, especially between a husband and wife. When you put two or more sinners in a box for an extended period, their rawest Adamic tendencies will be impossible to hide. Dating is great, but living together forever increases the possibilities of sin exponentially. I trust these seven considerations will help if you’re married to a harsh person. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/seven-things-to-remember-when-living-with-a-harsh-husband/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Sometimes you can forgive someone for their sin against you and reconcile with them. It’s a beautiful picture of the power of the gospel. Other times you can forgive them, but you won’t be able to reconcile with them, another picture, albeit incomplete, of the gospel. The first forgiveness opportunity is transactional, while the second is attitudinal—in your heart. Either way, you can experience freedom from the sin of others if you will forgive. The best case is transactional, where both parties experience freedom, but sometimes all you can do is forgive them in your heart. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-need-to-forgive-even-if-you-dont-reconcile/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – What does it mean to live a gospel-centered life? It’s a label and worldview that most Christians have heard. The gospel-centered life is practical, but many Christians do not know how to connect the gospel to everyday life. What does it mean? The gospel is an excellent idea for them but does not transform their lives or relationships. In this podcast, I will provide you with three essential ingredients to live an authentic, practical, gospel-centered life. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-44-missing-ingredients-gospel-centered-life/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Sometimes in some relationships, a person will utilize unforgiveness as a tool for self-protection. They weaponize unforgiveness, even if they do so unwittingly. They might hold on to unforgiveness because they have been hurt so many times by the same person, usually a spouse. They are frustrated and disappointed and believe there is no other recourse but a self-reliant means of self-protection. Suppose you sense this is happening with a friend. In that case, you must tread courageously and carefully as you help them see how they are complicating—even self-sabotaging—an already complicated matter. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-power-of-unforgiveness-when-used-as-a-weapon/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

A lady asked, “Would you be willing to write about living with an immature husband and how to respond to him biblically? I need help; I would much appreciate it if you could give me some advice.” Her question is not new to me. We are no longer a Christian society, a time when the Christian ethos was the zeitgeist, and it did not matter as much if you were a Christian because even the unregenerate culture had a clue what it meant to be a man. That day has passed. We have reared several generations where boys grow up with no biblically male templates that show them what it means to be good husbands. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/my-husband-is-immature-how-can-i-help-him/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Imperfect people are a universal problem. Most of the time, we do not struggle with the quirks of our fallenness—until we start living with one of those imperfect people. When you put two sinners in a box for an extended period, there will be problems, making it essential to have a game plan for living with an imperfect person. I have seven tips for your consideration as I weave the life and times of three quirky people I know into this all-important discussion about those people and things that can get under our skin. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/seven-tips-for-living-with-an-imperfect-person/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – PTSD is the DSM’s way of describing a tragic event in someone’s life. Something awful happens, and you carry the weight of that thing for years or decades, often resulting in triggers as those horrific moments flood and manage the mind. Did you know there is a biblical process for overcoming these devastating things that happen to us? Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-464-a-better-response-to-ptsd-and-other-triggering-events/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

A wife can be a husband’s most significant asset or his greatest liability. Most of us know this because people who live with each other affect those in the home—for good or evil. However, I wonder how many wives have thought through how much of an asset she is to their husbands by coming alongside them to complement, advise, share her wisdom, and disciple him, even while being submitted to them. The dual role of participating in the husband and wife hierarchy while living as a coequal is of inestimable value to any marriage. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/setting-aside-your-desires-to-lead-your-husband/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

How honest can you be with your spouse? Is your marriage vulnerable, safe, and robust enough to communicate honestly? Are you free from critique and condemnation, releasing you to talk transparently with your mate? How much have things changed since dating, when communication was not as cumbersome, constricted, or convoluted? Perhaps speaking freely in your marriage has become more challenging as the years go by, and if that is the case, I trust what I have to say will be the beginning of a new day. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/how-can-i-be-more-honest-with-my-spouse/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – Maybe somebody has hurt you. Perhaps you can make as strong a case against that person who hurt you as I did against my mean father. According to my godless calculating, my dad was a worse sinner than me. At some level of my awareness, I knew I was sinful, but it was easy to compare tit for tat, and when I did that, I could hold on to my anger while playing the victim card. It’s a victim mindset that fuels ongoing, unabated anger. The truth is I am no different from my dad. There are no gradations of sinners when you stare at the Savior on a cross. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-463-sermon-how-not-to-harbor-hate-toward-someone/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

What makes Life Over Coffee different from other training organizations? Before moving on, will you “pause the tape” to answer my question? See how well you understand our purpose—what we are about, or if we need to improve how we communicate our purpose to you and the general public. Of all the acronyms (e.g., ABC, AACC, ACBC, CCEF, etc.), what makes us different from them? Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/why-our-ministry-is-different-from-other-counseling-ministries/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

No book can help your unique husband to become a better husband like you can. Sure, there are a zillion books, and we have the Bible, too. But when it comes to a wife’s role in helping her husband mature in Christ, she is his most effective means of grace to transformation. A man’s wife has a unique position to help a unique man grow into a unique representation of Jesus Christ. Of course, these ideas apply to a husband, too. He should be cooperating with God while exegeting the Bible to bring customizable care to his wife, but for now, I want to talk about a wife’s privilege in the marriage. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/a-unique-wife-helping-a-unique-man-change-is-the-best/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Welcome to our Introduction to Biblical Counseling training, a ten-part series. The goal is to teach you the practical aspects of being a biblical counselor. I prefer the word discipleship, being a disciple-maker is a calling for all Christians. These two labels are interchangeable, though biblical counseling is a sub-discipline that fits into the grander purposes of discipleship. Our culture and most Christians are familiar with counseling, but it does not fully explain all the possibilities of New Testament discipleship. As you go through this training, I trust you will find encouragement and conviction to follow the Lord's advice and make disciples.  Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” The wisdom of Proverbs teaches how we will eat the fruit of our words, whether our words are good or bad. This truth can be particularly biting for the wife with a husband who does not fulfill God’s mandate to lead her well. Her temptation is to be critical. She needs God’s grace to help her live a submitted life that overcomes his deficiencies while not disparaging him with her words. It’s a tall order, but there is grace for this. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/power-critical-wife/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

What is the consistent spiritual direction of your home? Who is leading the family in that direction? Who is following the leader of your home? There is only one correct answer to these questions: the Lord must lead the family, and everyone else should follow Him according to the Bible’s hierarchy. If the home is set up in any other order, there will be dysfunction. No exceptions. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-necessity-of-the-double-dependent-wife/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – Listening to someone to understand them does not mean we have to accept their views or follow their perspectives. We listen to people to learn from them to understand and help them. If we do not know them well, we cannot help them. How can we listen to people who believe differently from us but not allow them to convince us of their views or follow their ideology? Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-43-listen-others-without-swayed/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Because of the clarity of God’s Word, the path to life change is not mysterious or elusive. If it were complex, we’d all be in a mess. Did you know that Paul gave his protege, Timothy, a practical plan for change that we can replicate in our lives, too? Though Paul’s process is not the final or plenary word for transformation, it’s one of the most excellent thumbnail sketches you’ll find in Scripture. It’s concise, understandable, and, best of all, attainable. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/four-sequential-steps-to-change-your-life/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

If you know someone who is not changing, do not despair. There is a way to help them. I'm not suggesting they will change even if you did everything perfectly, but there is a process for transformation that every Christian should know. I will break down those dynamics of change for you—the essential elements to lead someone into Christlike transformation. I hope the Lord will use these thoughts as you serve those you love so well. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/if-your-friend-is-not-changing-consider-this/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – Is bringing a baby into our evil world right? Where is the line between God’s sovereignty and personal responsibility? We live in a broken world that is full of evil. Every future parent knows that when they bring a baby into the world, the child struggles with brokenness and fallenness while tempted and affected by our corrupted culture. Where is the balance? How are we to think about these things? Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-42-bring-baby-evil-world/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.