Life Over Coffee With Rick Thomas

Shows Main Idea – I sat down with Mark Grant to discuss his experience as he went through our Mastermind training program. Mark was our first student and graduate of our training. He later became one of our supervisors, teaching our students. Mark finished the coursework in fifteen months, which was the quickest anyone had completed the course. Most of our students finish within 24 and 36 months. I hope you benefit as he shares his training experience, what God did in him, and what life has been like since. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-32-mark-grants-experience-training-program/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Your friend comes to you with a secret sin. You are his accountability partner, and he asks you to keep his sin secret. How would you respond to him? Is it okay to pledge confidentiality or have an expectation of it? Does confidentiality have value in the context of confession? Are there instances where we should tell others about a transgression, even if the guilty party is against it? What biblical principles should guide us regarding secrets, secret keeping, sharing, and biblical communication? Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/should-i-keep-my-friends-sin-secret/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – Each local church has visitors, regular attendees, non-engaged members, and engaged members. In many of these churches, the visitors, attendees, and non-engaged members are more numerous than those doing the ministry's work. When this happens, the church's infrastructure—leaders—is weaker than those who expect care from the church. You'll also find that those who expect more care complain more. Thus, each church has to wrestle with how to identify and develop more engaged members by identifying the consumers and moving them into the smaller leadership infrastructure sphere. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-29-makes-equipping-different-effective/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Did you know it’s possible to know God but still have a hard heart? Though we have many means of grace, like prayer, the Bible, our local churches, and each other, Christians are not impervious to the infiltration of sin or its dastardly effects. It only takes a little evil to create havoc in our souls. Knowing and experiencing God does not prevent us from moving down the path to hard-heartedness, making it critical to understand how to diagnose the sequence that leads to a hard heart. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/diagnosing-the-four-steps-to-a-hard-heart/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Are you more concerned about what God thinks about your sin or what others think about your sin? How you answer this question will determine the quality of your life and the way you interact with your friends. If you're more concerned about God's view of you, there will be a desire to live openly and honestly before Him and others. However, if the opinions of others have more control over you, the temptation to hide your true self while presenting a false narrative will be immense. To know what has more power is by assessing your willingness to be appropriately transparent with your friends. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/when-i-kept-silent-about-my-sin-this-is-what-happened/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

God did not create all friends equally. You have some friends you want in your inner circle because they are biblically mature and reciprocating. Perhaps there are others that you must keep at arm's length because they are tedious and require more work to maintain. This second group is unidirectional friends—acquaintances who cannot speak into your life, making it a one-way street: you always serve them. If you have a challenging friend, here are seven considerations. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/seven-considerations-for-challenging-friends/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – I had the sex talk with our son when he was 12. I took him to the beach for a few days to discuss the most intimate relational dynamic between a man and a woman. One of our Mastermind students asked if I would share a few details about how I went about it, similar to Lucia’s talk with our daughters. What we did is only one way to have this vital talk, and I trust these ideas and perspectives will serve you, particularly if you’re planning to speak with your children. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/recently-sex-talk-son/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Job’s wild ride through the crucible of suffering was coming to an end. The devil was nearing defeat, the Lord was receiving glory, and Job was changing. I knew the first two things would happen: Satan would lose, and God would win. What I did not expect was all the Lord wanted to do with my friend, Job. I did not even know he had a problem. He seemed to be a good man, going about doing good (Job 1:1, 5). After Satan turned his world upside down, he refused to sin or charge the Lord with any wrong (Job 1:22). I suppose I did not understand how to discern a person’s faith. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/you-know-your-faith-is-really-real-when-you-can-do-this/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – A friend approached me, asking how to help his church because they have a weak view of biblical counseling. He is a lone voice with an effective biblical model for sanctification through discipleship. He wants to motivate his leaders but knows they prefer an integrated worldview and practice. It’s not that they have thought about it but have been affected by a psychologized zeitgeist. He asked me how I would address the issues if it were my church. What about you? Perhaps you love a purer form of discipleship, but you have friends who are unfamiliar with what that means or they are against biblical counseling. I trust these thoughts will encourage and help you, too. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-30-shouldnt-make-big-deal-biblical-counseling/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

When things do not go according to our plans, and the losses keep mounting, it’s only a short step from walking away from God and the caring friends who are willing to persevere with us and our suffering. It is possible to get to that place of giving up, a perspective that buys into the belief that things won’t change to a more favorable outcome. It’s a tension between humans and the Divine when God does not act as we think He should. Though we know how this tug-o-war will end, it does not alter the tension, or the temptation to quit. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/how-can-i-trust-god-when-he-does-not-act-the-way-i-think-he-should/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Does anyone love God because of who He is, or do we love Him for what we can receive from Him? I’m not implying it’s wrong to want things from the Lord because we should desire things from Him, like His salvation. However, there is a priority with all relationships. Do we enter friendships for what we can get out of them, or are we primarily interested in being with and serving that friend? Pertaining to God, it’s vital to examine the quality of our faith, always making our relationship with Him transcendent over self-interest while enjoying the beauty of knowing God for who He is. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/three-keys-to-help-you-look-beyond-your-suffering/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – A friend asked on our private forums whether you can tell if someone has changed. Of course, you cannot know in the ultimate sense—not at the heart level. I told my friend it would be unwise to focus on whether a person has changed since you cannot know for sure. Biblical counselors make this mistake too often, even at times releasing a person from counseling when they can never honestly know if they have changed. Alternately, it would be better to focus on better things while laying out better expectations and plans for those you're discipling. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-454-the-risky-business-of-looking-for-change-in-someone/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

We have two possible responses to our problems. We can be problem-centered or God-centered. That’s it. The first reaction leads to anxious complaining and fear-motivated comments. Been there, done that. The second response is the path to peace, even while we are suffering. It’s hard to tell how mature we are until the suffering comes, so it’s wise to pay close attention to our thoughts and words when difficult times arrive. Perhaps the suffering will necessitate the Lord to take action, like whittling us down to proper size so that He can build us back up into vessels for His use. https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-blessing-of-being-whittled-down-to-size-2/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Sometimes, God can seem distant and possibly disinterested in what is happening in our lives. The silence of God is deafening as we seek answers when life takes a turn for the worse. We feel all alone on the ground level, a painful loneliness that turns our hearts upward. We are muttering and sputtering through life while God is off fighting battles that seem more important to Him than tending to our business. We want an audience with the King. We need to hear what He has to say about our problems. Or do we? Are we really prepared for what He has to say? Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/do-you-really-want-to-know-what-god-is-thinking-2/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – Since Adam and Eve fell in the Garden of Eden, there have been injustices. It’s vital to recognize we live in a fallen world, not a utopian one. It is similar to getting married, thinking it will be happily ever after without defeats, setbacks, or injustices. Setting up an unreachable standard is a setup for disappointment, leading to responses that can never hit that high mark, only making things worse. Some folks can have a misguided idealism. But rather than focusing primarily on them, it would be more appropriate for us to ponder how to respond to a culture caught in the injustice trap. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-38-speaking-injustices-culture/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

What the world, flesh, and the devil mean for evil, the Lord God Almighty intends for our good, creating a unique place where good and evil intersect to do battle in a Christian’s life. That spot is our crucible of suffering. While in it, confusion mounts, tempting us to take actions we would not take during ordinary times, but even in those moments, God is with us, always persevering for our good. As you reflect upon the most painful times of your life, haven’t you seen how the Lord sustained and cared for you? Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/ever-tried-manipulative-praying/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Silence does not have to be a bad thing, even the silence of God. Quick to listen and slow to speak is biblical, according to James. The gifts of reflection and pondering seem lost in our impulsive, ready, fire, aim culture. There are times when silence is wisdom. Have you considered the deliberateness of God? During the Lord’s quietness, He can communicate some of the most profound truths if you’re willing to listen. Whether speaking or not, we must trust the Lord’s wisdom because life does not function formulaically—a speaking God is good, but a quiet God is not. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-importance-and-benefit-of-god-being-silent/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Shows Main Idea – Spending time on social media does much harm to our lives and relationships. You can easily find 1000 studies to support this claim, and it matters not where you land on the political spectrum. We are addicted to social media because it feeds our deepest cravings, similar to any addictive behavior. The difference is how we have rationalized this addiction through our collective participation. For the courageous soul, I appeal to you to consider these five reasons to curb or get off social media. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-451-five-reasons-to-curb-or-get-off-social-media/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/

Let’s Start Here: Are you problem-centered or God-centered? A quick way to analyze my question is by assessing your most common responses to the problems the Lord brings to your life. All things, big and small, provide the contexts for us to examine the strengths and weaknesses of our walk with God. There is nothing like heat to draw out impurities or solidify the good things we want to preserve. When trouble comes, it will tell you quickly the depth and hold your faith has on you, whether we’re talking about minor traffic inconveniences or Job-level devastation. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/seven-step-template-for-personal-change-when-trouble-comes/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Letting God be God is one of our greatest fears. When the circumstances are the most adverse, the temptation will be the strongest to bring God down to our level so we can argue with Him. This instinct is not unusual; we do it with folks who need a piece of our mind. To be angry at someone requires elevating yourself above them to let them have it, and it matters not if the object of our frustration is human or the Divine. The fearful, angry soul is not far from this kind of exalted arrogance when things become unmanageable. I was that arrogant soul. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/i-brought-god-down-to-my-level-so-i-could-argue-with-him/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.