Sex Gets Real: Talking Sex, Relationships, And Kink With Dawn Serra

Want me to mail you a holiday card? Well, enter the Merry Clitmas card giveaway before December 18, 2018 and if you are one of 10 lucky names randomly drawn, I'll be hand-writing fun holiday cards and mailing them out the next day. Check out the details at sexgetsreal.com/holiday/ Welcome back, Andrew Gurza! When Andrew reached out to me asking to come back on the show, I immediately said yes. We always have so much fun chatting, AND I was delighted that it was an excuse to get to see his new documentary, Picture This. You can see it, too, for free here. Andrew and I talk about what it was like to have his life filmed, coming out to his mom about hiring sex workers for his sexual pleasure, creating sex toys that are truly for disabled people designed by disabled people, toxic masculinity in queer men's spaces, and so much more. Plus, Patreon supporters, this week's bonus chat with Andrew is super fun. We talk about some of the really important relationships in Andrew's life and what it was like to see people

Sign-up to stay in touch with the show if we get banned from social media and iTunes. Sex Gets Real Book List: http://sexgetsreal.com/books/ Explore More Summit: http://exploremoresummit.com Enter the holiday giveaway for a hand-written Merry Clitmas card: http://sexgetsreal.com/holiday/ Sweeping bans to social media means no more sex education. A number of sex educators have already had content flagged and banned on Facebook and Instagram. It may become nearly impossible for sex educators and podcasters to share their content on any social media platform because of FOSTA/SESTA. If you want to stay in touch if the show gets banned across the board, please subscribe using the links up above. Get your email address to me ASAP so I can save it offline and stay in touch. Supporting the show on Patreon is more crucial than ever - we don't know when we'll be kicked off the platform, too. Head to patreon.com/sgrpodcast. Folks who support at $3 get access to the weekly bonus content and if you pledge $5, you get to

Pleasure can be complicated, hunger can feel like a betrayal, but our bodies were built for pleasure and it's time for you to reconnect with what it means to feel good, to prioritize what brings you delight and joy, and to unpack the old stories that keep you stuck in shame and guilt. My new online course, Power in Pleasure: Reconnecting with Your Hunger, Desire, and Joy, will start enrolling soon, so join the notification list now and get first dibs on the course. It's me, my anxiety, and your emails. This week's selection includes advice on coming out, BDSM research, long distance love, and unprotected sex and herpes. At the top of the episode, I mentioned Ella Dawson's new piece, "In Case I Am Ever Murdered By a Man" and you can check it out here. Later in the episode, I refer a listener to Ella for her herpes activism, so use that link to get over to Ella's site and you'll see Herpes at the top of the page. Our first email is from a Patreon supporter, Tri. Tri has advice for a listener who wrote in a few

Pleasure can be complicated, hunger can feel like a betrayal, but our bodies were built for pleasure and it's time for you to reconnect with what it means to feel good, to prioritize what brings you delight and joy, and to unpack the old stories that keep you stuck in shame and guilt. My new online course, Power in Pleasure: Reconnecting with Your Hunger, Desire, and Joy, will start enrolling soon, so join the notification list now and get first dibs on the course. It's you, me, and your emails.We're tackling gender, virginity, & being a man. First up, I came across this super helpful article in The Advocate titled "15 Signs You're a Gay Misogynist". Misogyny in gay men's spaces is rampant, so if you're a gay dude, you might want to check out this list and start having some conversations with your friends. Becky wrote in with a really sweet and supportive note about the show. THANK YOU, BECKY!!! Mary is 39-years-old and questioning their gender. How can Mary find some resources for learning about what it

If you've been thinking about working with a coach around your desire, relationship, body, or shame, I am now accepting new clients and my rates are increasing January 2019. Learn more at dawnserra.com/work-with-me. The Fourth Trimester with Kimberly Ann Johnson Kimberly Ann Johnson is here this week to talk about birth injury and birth trauma, postpartum healing and nurturing, what cultures from around the world do to tend to folks after giving birth, and so much more. We explore changing bodies, cultural myths about "pre-baby body", and sex after baby. We also dive into her work around activating your inner jaguar - which is all about tapping into both prey and predator energy, healthy aggression, and shifting your relationship with anger. As I note in the intro to the episode, most of Kimberly's work is with cis women in heterosexual relationships, so you will hear that in the language she uses throughout. To help supplement that, I want to offer this article in the Advocate, "I'm Pregnant and I'm Not a Wo

Pleasure can be complicated, hunger can feel like a betrayal, but our bodies were built for pleasure and it's time for you to reconnect with what it means to feel good, to prioritize what brings you delight and joy, and to unpack the old stories that keep you stuck in shame and guilt. My new online course, Power in Pleasure: Reconnecting with Your Hunger, Desire, and Joy, will start enrolling soon, so join the notification list now and get first dibs on the course. Frustration, fear, and feeling stuck? Your questions, answered. I'm at the Rehoboth Beach Film Festival, which means it's time for listener questions!  But first, if you're curious about coaching support, head to dawnserra.com - I have a few spots left before the end of the year. girl out wrote in because her girlfriend hasn't been coming out about their relationship, and she's struggling with why. How can she tell her girlfriend that it bothers her without pushing her to come out? What if this conversation always leads to a fight? Anonymous wrote

If you've been thinking about working with a coach around your desire, relationship, body, or shame, I am now accepting new clients and my rates are increasing January 2019. Learn more at dawnserra.com/work-with-me. This episode is sponsored by Simple Health, a new online service for birth control. You can have an online consult with a physician, get a prescription for birth control (even if you've never had one), and get your contraception mailed to you at no additional cost exactly when you need it. Listeners, you can get the $20 prescription fee waived by heading to simplehealth.com/sgr or by using promo code SGR at checkout. Talk to kids about gender, sexuality, and social justice with Lindsay Amer You've probably seen the viral videos of Lindsay Amer's Queer Kid Stuff show because I've been seeing them EVERYWHERE. Of course, I had to reach out to Lindsay to talk about what they're creating because it's so adorable and important. We chat about Lindsay's coming out process, first as gay and more recently a

If you've been thinking about working with a coach around your desire, relationship, body, or shame, I am now accepting new clients and my rates are increasing January 2019. Learn more at dawnserra.com/work-with-me. Healing, survival, resilience, and how pleasure heals with Staci Haines Every once in a while, I have a conversation that brings things into focus. This week's conversation with Staci Haines one of those special experiences. I've long had Staci's book, "Healing Sex" on my shelf and used it as a resource for healing around sex. But speaking with her was a rare treat. We talk about trauma and oppression, surviving, and then move into a beautiful exploration of what it means to heal, having compassion for the ways we survived, and developing a practice around resilience and pleasure. Why is pleasure so important? How can we invite intentional rituals of resilience into our relationships? Why is social action so crucial to our well-being? What do human beings most need to feel their aliveness? It is s

If you've been thinking about working with a coach around your desire, relationship, body, or shame, I am now accepting new clients and my rates are increasing January 2019. Learn more at dawnserra.com/work-with-me. Why story hijacking and advice are rarely what the people we love need. Kate Kenfield is back and setting a new record for the show with her third stint as a guest. As a sex educator who is now diving deep into empathy, feelings, emotional intelligence, and self-care, we adore having brain sex and geeking out about all the things. Plus, Kate is joining us this week to celebrate a huge announcement - her Tea & Empathy cards have been turned into a Kickstarter campaign. If you've been wanting to grab some cards for yourself, the prices are awesome AND you can help Kate get this incredible resource out to even more people with your support. Check out the crowdfunding campaign here.  Plus, Patreon supporters, if you support the show at $3/month and above, you score weekly bonus content that you ca

Pleasure can be complicated, hunger can feel like a betrayal, but our bodies were built for pleasure and it's time for you to reconnect with what it means to feel good, to prioritize what brings you delight and joy, and to unpack the old stories that keep you stuck in shame and guilt. My new online course, Power in Pleasure: Reconnecting with Your Hunger, Desire, and Joy, will start enrolling soon, so join the notification list now and get first dibs on the course. Jes Baker on Mormonism, sex, changing bodies, and saying "fuck it". If I had to point to a single person who caused my entire life to pivot and open up, it would be Jes Baker. She is the reason I even started questioning the stories I'd been given about my body. It was her blog, her fierce truths to fat folks, that was the catalyst for my own journey towards healing, towards being more curious about my pleasure and sexuality, towards nearly everything I have come to be at this point in my life. So, it's not an understatement to say that it has long

Pleasure can be complicated, hunger can feel like a betrayal, but our bodies were built for pleasure and it's time for you to reconnect with what it means to feel good, to prioritize what brings you delight and joy, and to unpack the old stories that keep you stuck in shame and guilt. My new online course, Power in Pleasure: Reconnecting with Your Hunger, Desire, and Joy, will start enrolling soon, so join the notification list now and get first dibs on the course. Listener questions on destroying a pussy, pleasure, and book lists. Brett Kavanaugh was confirmed for the Supreme Court the day I recorded this, so we start there. Howard Zinn's op-ed from 2005 speaks loudly to where we are today. And I read Monica Raye Simpson's letter to SisterSong followers today because it is more eloquent than anything I could say. "I have seen people talk about taking the country back, but as Black women we know this country and this government were never meant to serve or respect or protect us. We have to protect ourselves.

Pleasure can be complicated, hunger can feel like a betrayal, but our bodies were built for pleasure and it's time for you to reconnect with what it means to feel good, to prioritize what brings you delight and joy, and to unpack the old stories that keep you stuck in shame and guilt. My new online course, Power in Pleasure: Reconnecting with Your Hunger, Desire, and Joy, will start enrolling soon, so join the notification list now and get first dibs on the course. Ev'Yan Whitney on sensuality, the erotic, and body hair I've followed Ev'Yan on Instagram for quite a while and been enchanted by the ways she shares and expresses herself there. As soon as she said yes to being on the show, I was excited. We talk about sensuality and how Ev'Yan struggled with the ways sensuality and sexuality were bound together culturally. Her process of teasing out her sensual self and separating it from her sexuality has opened her up to so much more pleasure and the erotic. What happens when you start sharing your sensual self

Pleasure can be complicated, hunger can feel like a betrayal, but our bodies were built for pleasure and it's time for you to reconnect with what it means to feel good, to prioritize what brings you delight and joy, and to unpack the old stories that keep you stuck in shame and guilt. My new online course, Power in Pleasure: Reconnecting with Your Hunger, Desire, and Joy, will start enrolling soon, so join the notification list now and get first dibs on the course. Donna Zuckerberg on pickup artistry, Red Pill, and the classics The last Harvard University Press book I had a chance to review for the show was "About Abortion" by Carol Sanger, which was such a spectacular experience. So, I was incredibly excited when HUP sent me a copy of Donna Zuckerberg's new book, "Not All Dead White Men." Not only do we take a critical look at pickup artistry, Red Pill communities, and how many members of these communities have co-opted the classics to serve their patriarchal vision, but we also talk about the ways that PUAs

Pleasure can be complicated, hunger can feel like a betrayal, but our bodies were built for pleasure and it's time for you to reconnect with what it means to feel good, to prioritize what brings you delight and joy, and to unpack the old stories that keep you stuck in shame and guilt. My new online course, Power in Pleasure: Reconnecting with Your Hunger, Desire, and Joy, will start enrolling soon, so join the notification list now and get first dibs on the course. Listener questions, pleasure, and reproductive justice with Monica Raye Simpson of SisterSong. DeeLo wrote in with an a-ha moment around Hannah Gadsby's "Nanette" and something I said a few weeks ago. Yay bodies and rewriting stories. Julie wanted to offer some thoughts around mindfulness, anxiety, PTSD, and working with a professional after hearing Dr. Lori Brotto's episode a few weeks ago. Co-signed! Anonymous needs help. Her new partner's erection lasted for hours. Is he just nervous or anxious? Maybe things will get better? Is there something s

Pleasure can be complicated, hunger can feel like a betrayal, but our bodies were built for pleasure and it's time for you to reconnect with what it means to feel good, to prioritize what brings you delight and joy, and to unpack the old stories that keep you stuck in shame and guilt. My new online course, Power in Pleasure: Reconnecting with Your Hunger, Desire, and Joy, will start enrolling soon, so join the notification list now and get first dibs on the course. Developing body trust, examining masculinity, and exploring pleasure with Aaron Flores. This episode is generously brought to you by Casper sleep solutions. Get $50 toward select mattresses by visiting Casper.com/SGR and using SGR at checkout. Terms and conditions apply.  I had the delight to hear Aaron Flores speak at the ASDAH conference in August, and while I knew I really wanted to have him on the show, I was even more excited when I learned about his men's body trust course. So, how does body trust relate to the sex we have, the pleasure we fe

Have you been feeling stuck in your relationship, frustrated with your body, or totally disconnected from your pleasure & desire? One-on-one coaching spots are available in my private practice and rates are going up January 1st, 2019, so now is the perfect time to book a discovery call and learn more about how coaching might help you. Check out the clients I work with and my rates today.   The power of mindfulness on our pleasure, connection, and desire. In person interviews are some of my favorite, and Dr. Lori Brotto was able to pop over for this in-person conversation all about her 15 years of sex research on the power of mindfulness, which she's turned into a fabulous book called, "Better Sex Through Mindfulness." So, this episode is  all about what mindfulness is, how it affects our levels of libido and desire, why mindfulness might be a key to more pleasure, and how to balance mindfulness and fantasy. We also talk about depression, responsive desire, responsibility in relationships, and how we can g

Are you ready to sign up for Take Up Space, my online boundaries workshop? Grab your spot today for just $37. Ten lessons, ten worksheets, a lifetime of shifting how you feel about boundaries. What if period sex is awful? How can we find different kinds of people sexy? And why so many men feel attacked when people talk about...well, men. There was a little change of plan at the last minute, which means this week I'm fielding a bunch of your emails. Want to hear your question read on the air? Just hit Send a Note in the navigation! We start with Alyssa, who wants to know where to find a trusted sacred intimate. I get this question pretty frequently, so I offer a few tips and tidbits about starting your search. Eric wants me to know that I sound bitter, broken, and sad when I talk about #NotAllMen, which leads me to gushing about Scene On Radio's "Seeing White" series from last year as well as their brand new series on "Men". I cannot recommend this series enough, and it speaks perfectly to Eric's feels about o

Have you been feeling stuck in your relationship, frustrated with your body, or totally disconnected from your pleasure & desire? One-on-one coaching spots are available in my private practice and rates are going up January 1st, 2019, so now is the perfect time to book a discovery call and learn more about how coaching might help you. Check out the clients I work with and my rates today.   Communicating with ease about sex, love, and fantasies with Stella Harris. Stella Harris is a powerhouse in sex education. Her writing has long been something I've admired, and her vulnerability and storytelling are beautiful things. If you haven't seen her Bawdy Storytelling, go check it out. So, this week's chat, to discuss Stella's new book, "Tongue Tied: Untangling Communication in Sex, Kink, and Relationships" is one I'm super excited about. You've heard me mention again and again on this show that nearly all the questions I receive are about saying the scary things. Well, Stella is here to help us demystify talkin

Are you ready to sign up for Take Up Space, my online boundaries workshop? Grab your spot today for just $37. Ten lessons, ten worksheets, a lifetime of shifting how you feel about boundaries. What even is the friendzone, how can a man come to terms with his submissive desires, and questioning desirability politics. This week it's just you and me before we have another tsunami of awesome guests.  First up, Angela wrote in with a question about friendzones. Why are they even a thing? Why did her friend suddenly close her out after she denied his advances without any conversation or warning? Friendzones are bullshit, so I weigh in on the lies that are "friendzones". Plus, WendyCorduroy's Tumblr post on what the friendzone rhetoric has done to her is powerful stuff. Read it here. And, be sure to check out this thoughtful response to a guy who claimed he was "friendzoned" on Scarleteen. Looking for a therapist who understands intersectionality and oppression? The Establishment has this great little resource to ge

Do you struggle to say no without over-explaining? Do you feel hurt when people you love set boundaries that disappoint you? Are you looking for ways to stop apologizing and to start taking up more space? Well, Take Up Space, my online boundaries workshop, is now available on demand. Grab your spot today.  Dating. Sex. Boundaries. Fat bodies. Virgie Tovar must be here! Virgie Tovar always makes me think and this chat is no exception. Holy smokes I love Virgie's brain, and she is going to take us into some BIG feels. Let's talk about dating while fat. Let's talk about misogyny and sexism. Let's talk about access to pleasure and delighting in our bodies. Let's explore the ways diets and dieting impact our ability to say yes and no in bed and in relationships. Virgie has a new book about to hit shelves and it is small but VERY mighty in scope, so be sure to check it out courtesy of Feminist Press. Patreon supporters - If you support the show at the $3 level and above, I read a few paragraphs from Virgie's new bo